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Lately I have been struggling with achieving to financially support myself. I aspire to live on my own or with roommate in a rented apartment. I haven't yet got a job. I applied somewhere where I would make a decent amount to cover expenses but I haven't heard back from them. I believe my resume was good with my credentials. Although I think since I haven't received word from the employer, they must have overlooked me. What should I do to win them over if there's anything? I feel my anxiety kicking in and I feel like giving up all hope. I'm going to apply to some more jobs but I have doubt that a minimum wage job will cover finances. Rent around here can be up to $600 a month. Split in two, $300. All I have is a high school diploma and three past jobs. Any advice?

Hi,
If you haven't heard back from an employer within a couple weeks, you can always call them and ask if they had a chance to look over your resume. If they say no, then ask when they will get the chance and call them back after that date. If they say yes, well then they will probably go on explaining that they found someone else for the position. Overall, it never hurts to call after a couple weeks pass. Remember that employers have a lot on their plate and looking over everybodies resumes is just one more task on their to-do list.


To win them over, you could always send a follow up letter. In the letter, (if you haven't already done so in your resume) state what you can offer that company (list your qualities that will help their business), that you are very interested in the position and mention that they should feel free to contact you for an interview if they wish. Be sure to leave your name, number, and possibly email adress at the end. Wait another week and if you get no reply, they probably have found someone else. Here is a very short example to help you: http://jobsearch.about.com/od/morejobletters/a/followuplett2.htm But as I said, be sure to expand on what you can offer your employer as an employee.


Never give up hope. If anything, make sure you get a minimum wage job so you can cover most your finances. Working with minimum wage, you could comfortably live if you find an apartment to share with someone else. Just keep looking for a place that will suit your needs and has somebody willing to share. There are people out there that are willing to rent out rooms in their homes for a low cost, depending on what you're able to spend financially. You just have to know where to look. Three past jobs is enough to get you a decent job. Just try to find new jobs that can relate to your old jobs and you are on the right path. You can support yourself, just keep your head up and keep looking :)

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Hi !
So I am a currently finishing up my last year in high school and I am now in the process of signing up for universities. I've already signed up for a university near my house, but I am also starting to consider applying to universities outside of my hometown . I've already brought up this topic to my mom, but from what I can already tell, she's not that very fond of the idea. I don't know what to do .. Because the thing is, whats holding me back is that I'd be leaving my only mom at home, my family the place that I grew up in ,and plus the fact that I could be leaving my old ways and comfort of my moms support is really hard to let go. but then there also a part of me that wants to experience the world and try to live and grow independently as well. Should I apply for schools outside of my hometown or not ? Do u think its a good idea ?
Should I just do my undergraduates at a far university and then come back to do my graduate /proffesional school and residency at home ? Vice versa ? Or should I just go full out and do all of university away from home and then go back home for my actual career ? Cause I think I still want to live in my hometown in the future ! Please help !

Hi,
I think you should apply to whatever school is best for what you wish to go into, whether it be outside of your hometown or not. I think it is a good idea to experience new things and be able to figure out what you like better by actually expiriencing the new and not assuming what one or the other is going to be like. I know what it is like to leave the comfort of your Mom, but truth is - one day you're going to have to do it whether you like it or not. So you can choose to now, or wait til you just have to. Currently I haven't lived with my parents for almost 2 years and although I don't see them a lot, I go back every now and then to visit which is working for me. If you would like to do your undergraduate at a far university then come back, cuz that's what makes you comfortable.. then do that. Both your choices at the end there sound like a good idea. Since you still want to live in your hometown, you could definitely go full out and do all your university away from home then move back in the future.


In the end, it's all up to you and what you wish to do. Just remember: the new can be scary or exciting, it all depends on what you make of it. If you choose to move away you will learn a ton, meet new people, become sociable to the outside world and gain independence. If you choose to stay in your comfort zone, you will only be comfortable to what you've been exposed to so far in your life. Something to think about...

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I've been told by many family mates n close friends sex for a virgin (first time) hurts varrying from 6-9!! Although it's different sombody may b able 2help. For1 when I put tampons in and walk, it's uncomfortable, n sometimes it hurts (pressure point) I get wet n I'll tell my mate to finger me befor having intercourse (sex) I need help, so drop your advice, sayings, or answers below.thank youuuu

The pain actually varies from person to person. For example: When I gave away my virginity it didn't hurt at all - so it might not for you either. As for your tampons, they could be put in wrong which is why they are causing you to be uncomfortable; you shouldn't feel a tampon when you walk, so try positioning it different or pushing it in a little further which will most likely feel better.


Foreplay before sex is definitely a lot of help too, but there are more ways than one when it comes to that. Simply touching a person up and down their arm or leg or even kissing the other person can cause them to become wet; you just have to find out what works for you. Try not to worry about it too much. As long as you are comfortable with your partner and discuss what you're concerns are beforehand you shouldn't have hardly any pain. Feel free to inbox me if you'd like to ask another question.

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I am 13 I broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago and lately my friend as been talking to him and not to me as much I think she likes him but maybe im wrong what do you think I should do.

Hi,
It does sound like your friend might have a crush on your ex, but that doesn't always mean she wants to date him. It could just mean that she sees him as a free guy and now that he isn't dating you she is able to spend time with him without you becoming jealous. That said, you still seem upset that your friend is hanging out with a guy you chose to let go. So what do you do? Talk to her. You could ask her why she hasn't been hanging out with you as much, that you miss hanging with her now or you could mention that you think she likes your ex. If she does like him, thats alright. She has the choice to date him now because he isn't seeing anyone, but if this bothers you, let her know ahead of time. The worst scenario is to be caught in the middle, feeling like your friend betrayed you by going after a guy you still have feelings for. Do you? If so, just let her know how you feel. You can't be mad at someone without knowing all the facts. Learn the facts, then see if she wants to hang out more.

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Okay, so there is this boy I love. We have been dating for 2 months and a half...the problem is that he hasn't mentioned anything about making me his girlfriend. I am confused because he tells me that he likes me, but i guess actions speak louder than words..cos i barely hear from him, I only see him once a week for an hour or two and I know he has more free time than that cos my friends will see him hanging around with his friends and just doing nothing. I would ask him to hangout but he says he can't cos he works late, but then i find out that he actually got out of work early. One time I saw him walking with some girl and he didn't know that I saw him, he would choose hanging out with other people over me. I feel used sometimes. He knows I will always be here waiting, so he will come along whenever he has nothing to do or needs my help in something like he'll want to see me cos he needs help writing his Spanish paper cos i'm fluent in Spanish. One time I found out he was going to a concert and he didn't even bother to invite me. if you like someone wouldn't you want to spend time with them? If i was going to a concert i'd ask him if he wanted to come with me. I mean it was only ten dollar tickets! I can pay for that. I asked him last Monday "will i see you at all this week?" and he says "of course it's only Monday don't worry!" It is Sunday now and I haven't seen him at all. I am knitting him a scarf and it makes me sad because he is always on my mind and i try to do sweet things for him but he does nothing for me...sometimes i doubt what i feel, maybe i am overreacting, but deep down inside i know i am not. All the guys i've been with have never been like this towards me. if i couldn't see them that much then at least we'd have good constant communication, but with this boy we don't even have that either. I feel like he wants space, and I am really respectful about that..but i think its too much space..he makes me so sad. I went to our friends party last night hoping he would be there but again i was disappointed. He wasn't there and I ended up getting drunk and crying...he is so confusing when i spend those little moments with him it is heaven to be able to kiss him and hold his hand..like he would disappear for a week and then we'll bump into each other and all that pain i had towards him would go away, there would be life in my eyes and it'd be as if i was a dog wagging my tail, but then he is gone and the sadness comes back again. It's scary he can disappear anytime and I will be stuck questioning what happened? I don't feel secure with him..I'd feel a lot safer if we were boyfriend and girlfriend..I don't even know what we are. what are your thoughts on this?

Hey there,
Honestly, I feel like you cannot complain about him not spending his free time with you when you're not officially dating yet. The only problem here is that you want him to give you all his boyfriend qualities without him actually being your boyfriend - see the dilemma? So.. how you are going to fix this is: by talking to him. Yes, talking to him will fix all this. The next time you get to hang out you have to tell him how you feel. Mention that you like him, that you'd like to keep in contact more cuz you enjoy his company and you can say that you seen him with another girl, but don't make a scene about her, for guys can have lots of friends that are girls... just mention it casually and say 'I would like it if I could spend more time with you' or take initiative by saying: 'are you free this weekend? Cuz I thought about going to the mall, eating at ____ , watching a movie or spending more time with you'. Or perhaps 'hey your scarfs almost done, I was wondering if you'd like to come by and get it' would be a good way to start a convo. How he reacts will tell you how he's feeling about you. If he says he's busy, say 'ok, maybe another time we could get together' and leave it at that. Then wait til the weekend and ask him once more (more than 2 in a week can come off clingy). If he says yes, you are good to go.


This guy does sound like he is using you a bit by only contacting you when he wants help... The fact sits that if he really wants to be with you and also truly likes you, he will soon take the time to ask you to hang out with him too. Perhaps he is quite busy (or has a lot on his mind) so don't be disappointed if he says no the first time or forgets (we are all human). Try again the next week and the following week. If he keeps dragging you along by not sticking to his word, you should probably move on Hun. When you are looking for a guy to date, you need a guy that will be there for you and actually make an effort once and a while to see/talk to you. Any guy is worth a try, but only the right guy is worth your time.

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My boyfriend LOVES the color orange and has decided that the color of his tux will be the usual black with orange. I already know that orange isn't really my color, I'm more of a blue to purple and pinks kind of girl. So should I get a solid orange or maybe a dress with orange in it, like a pattern dress? Thanks for your time.

Hi,
I honestly think you should get whatever kind of dress you prefer... BuT, if your boyfriend absolutely loves orange, then maybe you can compromise with his taste in color. You could try to get a patterned dress as you said - with some orange in it (that might be hard to do) or if you cannot find one like that then I would probably go with a 'little black dress' or a purple one with an orange accent belt (win/win), clutch or heels < awesome way to incorperate orange without having to go all out. If all else fails, find/use an orange hairpiece, paint your nails orange and/or have an orange corsage. Good luck and have fun on your Prom Day :)

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I take 30-20 minute showers for some reason. All I do is wash and condition my hair, wash the rest of me, rinse and get out. Nothing else. Do you have any ideas so I can take a shorter one? (I'm 12 by the way)

Hi,
What I do, is put on some music when I take a shower. Plan to take a shower for 1 or 2 songs that are only 2-3 minutes each. Set up the songs on an ipod/cd/phone, then get in the shower and do your thing. The point is to try and get all your shampooing/conditioner/cleaning done before the songs are over. Once you do this one time, you will realize how long you take to shower depending on what part of the song you are listening to. Clever? Yes. Try it and see if it helps you! (It helps me) :)

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I think i just made a big mistake im a boy who just fell victim to hormones yes i used a condom but im 12 is this bad?

12 is a very young age to loose your virginity, but with that said the 'right time' is different for everyone. Some loose it when they are teenagers, while others wait til marriage. The fact that you lost yours doesn't make you a bad person, it just means that you chose to do it before others. I am glad you used a condom, always use a condom unless you want kids.


Next time, I hope that you will wait until you find someone you truly love to have sex with and don't just have sex because your hormones want you to; You can feel guilty or mess with someones feelings/hurt them if you don't fall in love/have a long relationship with them before having sex.


So, if you love a girl and date her, then have sex and continue to date that is really good. Being in love with someone and having sex with them are two different things - do not get them confused with eachother.

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Sooo i want to know the difference between cumming and the vaginal discharge ....
im not sure how it feels if youve reached an orgasm ...? do you just feel pleasure ....

thank you for reading !

Vaginal discharge is the normal wetness you feel down below, where 'coming' is when you are pleasured and have an excessive amound of vaginal discharge - orgasm if there's excessive pleasure as well as extra discharge. Make sense?

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Hi, so my bf n i r in a long distance rela for the past 4 months n sometimes we fight n sometimes we r amazing but there r something i rll dont like. the first time we had a major fight was because he was being kissed by a rll hot girl on his cheeks .. since i m new to long distance i over reacted ... m sure every gf would react like the way i did ... n then there was another pic of the same girl kissing him again .. n m like ... ok not gonna react watever ... this morning there is this pic of his group .. while she has her hands on his shoulder from his back ... as a gf i dont know what to say ... m rll pissed .. dont want to say anything that ll cause a conflict .. maybe to him its nothing but if he found a pic like that of me with another guy he ll be soo pissed .. so ... i wanted to know how i should react?? do u think he might be cheating ... its always the same girl ... n there r soo many pics of thatg girl with him ... ?!!!

Hey there,
I think you should just tell him straight up that you don't like that this girl is doing all these thing and then find out if she is a friend of his. Myself, a girl has lots of guy friends so if my bf doesn't like me hanging out with my friends I would be disappointed. With that said, if she is just a really good friend of his, ask him questions like 'how long have you known eachother?' Or 'do you see eachother a lot?'. The answer to these questions will let you know if you are overreacting or not. Maybe they only spend a little bit together so they take pics when they have the chance or maybe she has known him for longer than you, you never know.


Ask him about her, then see what his intentions are with her. Would you like it if your bf told
you you couldn't hang out with a best friend that was a guy? I wouldn't think so. If he tells you she's just a friend, you are allowed to ask him if he ever thought of cheating on you... If he pauses for over a minute or looks away, the possibility is there. But he may also just be wondering why you'd ask him that. In the end, the only way to fix this is to let him know it bothers you. If he's a loyal bf he will let you know he just took a few pics with her and you have nothing to worry about. The worse you can do is overexamine a situation, so learn the facts and then work it out. Odds are, he's not cheating and he just has a friend that's a girl.

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hello! 3 months ago me and my boyfriend had nicknamed sex but he cummed outside near vagina and then i was afraid to get pregnant , but after month my period came normal ,and my period is usually come late every month , but this time has gone 40 days .
so i want to know if it is impossible to get pregnant or not? or whats the problem why it come late ? or why it does not come till now?
am afraid!!
please i need help!

Anytime a guy cums near your vagina there is a slight chance you can get pregnant. In my personal experience, it is possible not to be pregnant, BuT it is also very possible you are pregnant. I say this because I thought I was pregnant once when I went 42 days without my period... it turned out I was never pregnant though because my period came as normal. But, with that said if your period is regular and you are past your normal period date - the chance is high. If you are not past your normal period date and your period is regular - the chance is moderate. And, if your period is completely irregular, the only way to know for sure, is with a pregnancy test.


Your period can just be late because you are worrying so much... so take a test and find out for sure. It`ll save you the worrying if you are worrying for nothing and if you actually are pregant, at least you`ll know the truth.

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So a couple months ago (June) my oldest brother (I have two that I'm very close to) was in the passenger side of a car when some idiot teen girl was speeding,ran a red light,weaved through traffic and directly hit his side totaling both cars beyond repair and she was driving a large Dodge Charger while he was in a small car sort of like a sonata. I was the first person to find out as I picked up the phone when his coworker called telling us what happened. He lived in a county two hours away from us with his roommate/girlfriend who was out of town. When my mom called the hospital the doctors told us he wasn't going to make it and that he might not even still be here by the time we got there (driving).

His skull had been broken in so many places they had to take an entire day fixing it and his brain was very swollen and had been bruised and was bleeding with what they described as having shavings "off the top" from pieces of his skull shattering. The whole thing was incredibly traumatic as we weren't sure if he'd make it or ever be the same but he came out of his coma in late July after several brain surgeries,skull repairment and other repairs on broken bones around his body (his pelvis had been shattered and his femur was split in half as well has having ocular [eye socket] fractures).

There were a lot of days I just stayed by his hospital bed 24/7 alone praying that he'd come around that everything would be alright while his doctors told us not to get our hopes up but he had so many friends that we had entire churches revolving their Sunday services around him with prayer.

Today he's doing SO much better and his surgeons told us they'd NEVER in 50 years of practicing seen a recovery like his and that it was truly a miracle. He's at home with his father and his step mom (their house is very close to the rehab center which he had to be within a certain number of miles of) still recovering but he's himself again,talking just fine like a normal person would,doing things for himself,behaving himself, he's walking around (sometimes for up to a mile) and doing exercises. The only physical thing that's still needs fixing is one of his eyes that was cut by a piece of his skull and in result is out of place and gives him double vision (though the double vision is going away). Mentally he's so close to back up to his pre-accident capacity that we're thankful for it just as he is but he still has breaks in his memory and gets confused with deep conversation or more difficult math problems but then again he was never good at math and I don't know very many people who can do long division off the top of their head. They said it could take another couple months for his brain to recover fully but that it would happen.


Anyways last week after looking for months I got a job with the company he used to work for before the crash but with their corporate division as a tech support person (he worked in sales). It didn't have anything to do with him though I never mentioned who he was in any of the interviews or paperwork and we live in different counties so nobody would know him anyways especially since we have different last names. I just didn't want people hiring me out of pity...

I've been really nervous about it since it's my first job and it's rare that they hire somebody into corporate at such a young age but I had a lot of experience with IT and two certifications in it.
I was really tired today after not getting much sleep last night due to feeling sick and my last dream that I could vividly remember was myself and my grandmother's/mother's/brother's bird in that order in the library of my old school that I graduated from a few weeks before the accident and at graduation was the last time he saw me, I was sitting on the floor with the bird in my hand. The importance of this being the bird died the night before my brother woke up out of his coma and some people said that he needed the extra life from the bird to wake up and that there was a connection between them.

I walked out of the school into the parking lot and there he was standing. He took my hand and led me out to my car and told me not to worry about anything, that I was going to be just fine and that he'd be there with me in spirit on the first day of work making sure I was okay. My other brother was leaning against the car and my mom was standing by it and he told me not to worry about her either as she often tries to keep me from doing things and doesn't want me moving out anytime soon for fear of being alone (shes always had children or a husband or somebody with her). I think my other brother was there because he's the one helping me to buy my first car in a few weeks and these are all big steps for me in moving on with life.

What do you think? I know this was super long but thank you for any serious answers. :)

First, I would like to say I am glad your Brother survived. An even though he had to go through so much trauma, he was able to pull through. Good on him :)


I think your brother was sending you a message. He sent you that dream to let you know that you can stop worrying and that everything will be alright. I also believe that he will be there on your first day of work because he told you that - watch for signs.


Now, I know this may sound `fishy` that a random person reading your question believes this for a moment, but here`s why I believe what you said and that you should trust it » One time my mom had this dream, (at the time I didn`t know it) but she had this dream that my Sister and I were in our house while she was at work when our house caught on fire and I had to save my little Sister and I from the burning house - we barely made it out alive and all our belongings had been destroyed. Soo, the next day my Mom is in a frantic search around the house and I go to my sister and ask her whats up. My sister says she has no idea, but.. after my mom searches the house, calls over a friend, makes him pull the dryer apart, who actually pulls the dryer all apart for her and says nothings wrong - my mom makes him look again. What they found after a few hours was... one sock. That`s one sock that was stuck in the dryer vent that would of caught fire and burned our house down if she had not searched or listened to what she saw that night.


Moral of the story: what you saw was probly not just a dream, but a vision. Of course I could be taking this too seriously, but what I told you just now really happened to my family. An what I think you should do is not necessarily believe what you dreamt to be true, but listen to the message it sends (or your brother) and watch for him on your first day of work, cuz he will likely be there for you the whole way.

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Im 18 , a female in love with another female .What do i do when i feel like im in love all by myself , my significant other does things that i dislike over and over and shows no type of care. I give my all and do everything in my power for them i dont know what else to do

If you feel in love by yourself, what you need to do is talk to your significant other. Start by mentioning you don't feel like she has the same feelings towards you and see what she says. If she says she does have the same feelings, tell her you don't feel like she does, then explain why or what she could do to help such as - stopping the things you dislike. When your significant other realizes that you are annoyed by certain things or are losing a connection with her, she should start turn to turn things around. Talk tp her, work things out and see where it goes from there.


If you two talk and your other half still shows no care towards you.. you may have to consider if there is someone better out there for you... Just a thought. But first, always try to salvage the relationship you have before you jump to any conclusions.


Inbox me if you`d like.

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If you see someone you love after a year and say you dated for long and loved each other would ur feelings come back?

It all depends on the situation, but likely yes; Your feelings could come back if you really did love them back then.

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im 18 f
where to even begin... before i was dating my bf that im dating right now (lets call him x), me and this other guy( lets call him y) were together. he was really good to me, he treated me so well and liked me a lot but last new years we were at a party and y was very clingy so i ignored him until he left the party and instead i hooked up with x. y still really liked me but i didnt feel the same way about him at the time. about 2 months later me and x started dating and by that time me and y didnt even talk anymore. me and x had a great summer together, we went camping with our friends and had the best time and we got to know each other so much better. because we didnt start just as friends we went from not really knowing each other to dating. that summer i really fell inlove with x. but i saw him always talking to this girl on his phone and i never really asked him about her but it bugged me because i never really knew they were friends or even talked before. about a month ago me and y started talking again because we work together, and one night after work we sat on our cars and talked till 2 in the morning. but it wasnt y trying to break me and x up or y trying to impress me, we were strictly being just friends, and over the next few weeks we hung out and we became really good friends and i really realized how much i missed him. one night there was a work party that we were both at and i realized that the feelings i originally had for him were still there and even tho i still love x, y means alot to me still too. and that night he told me that he misses me and really likes me. he told me he will do anything for me and he respects my relationship with x but he wanted me to know that he would make me his everything. it really tore me and at the same time me and x were developing problems. it feels like x is taking me for granted and that he doesnt appreciate me, i have to ask him to have sex with me and sometimes he doesnt even want to, like it doesnt bother me that much but it sucks when i get blown off for sex. other things are that when we have sex he wont kiss me or make out with me while having sex with me :( it makes me feel like a hooker that he doesnt want to "make love" to but only to fuck. and he normally doesnt usually kiss me or make out with me on a daily basis. and when we do have sex he doesnt let me take my clothes off :( jsut pull my pants down and thats it. and y is making it seem that i deserve so much more and would make me feel appreciated. but me andx have been together for almost a year now and i love his friends and i love his family :( what do i do? :( im so lost it sucks.

From what I just read, it sounds like you like y much better... because of all the things he does that x doesn't - such as appreciate you and make love to you the way you would like. Also, it sounds to me like you fell in love with x's family more so than him... I could have got the wrong impression by what I read, but that's how I see it. Even though you've been together, I think your heart is telling you to chose y again...


COnfuSing, but I think if you talk to x about all the things you don't like right now, such as the sex thing, maybe he will come around and you will want to be with him because you two have fixed those problems. Now, don't make it seem like he is bad at sex, just mention that you would like it if he took off all your clothes or said sweet things to you or kiss you more. Then, after having the talk, see if things change over time; give it a month. If after that you think he will always be that way, you always have option b: y. He will be there for you. Until you and x sort things out, just stay friends with y cuz he is right in that you deserve better. All you have to know is: try to fix the relationship you are in first, then in a month make the real decision and finalize it. You know y will be there for you all the time and you already know he is sweet, but there's no need to dump the guy you're with without trying first. A year is a long time, but think about the long run... in a month, which guy would you really want to be with? Think about it, talk to x, and give it a month. You'll make the right decision then

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after hot sex with my boyfriend my boyfriend my period came the next day ,unexpectedly ,why

Hey there,
I would have to say the other person took your question to the extreme here..


Of course you could of had a tear in your vagina the way they said, but most likely it was your period. Your period is definitely affected by sex. Google "My period was late after I had sex" and you'll see millions of girls with the same question. So, if you had sex anytime within a week or so of when your period was actually due, it could/most likely would of been your period sped up. I've had sex 5 days before my period was due then had my period come the next day. If you have sex anytime, even during your period (gross but some people do it) then your period can be cut short - even if your boyfriend just fingers you, same thing can happen.


Your body reacts to Everything you do to it, so just be aware. The only time you have to worry is if there is bleeding an abnormal amount or if there is blood in your urine. Otherwise, you are (likely) completely healthy in that department

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I had a Friend who was one of my best friends. In fact he was more like the little brother I never had.

About a month or so ago, he got back with his ex, who had cheated on him in the past. He said at the time, he felt like he was making a huge mistake, but he loved and missed her and she felt the same. I said as long as he was happy, I was happy.

Anyway, she recently kicked off at him about us being friends and he explained to her we are only mates and we have a brother/sister relationship. Bearing in mind He's 19, I'm 24 and I am actually engaged to my partner of 6 years and I love him.

There has never been anything more than that between us and never will be, we were just very close. Anyway she was fine with it after he'd explained.

She then kicked off about a week ago again, and sent me a message on facebook pretending to be him, saying don't ever speak to me again.

When I questioned him about it, he said he was sorry, but he couldn't speak to me ever again as he needed to save his relationship. I was absolutely devastated.

I then got a message off his girlfriend, saying she didn't appreciate our relationship as we "flirt" too much. Her interpretation of flirting is a few messages from me saying "hiya sweetheart are you having a good day?" or "have a good day babe"

We've always spoke to eac hother like that by the way.

She went on to explain that she dosen't like the manner in which we speak in and feels it's not acceptable for us to speak that way. I said to her she is obviously insecure because I have a partner of 6 years and I love him. There is absolutely no reason for her to think otherwise.

Anyway my friend said they had argued about it and now as a result he's cut all contact with me. She's told me never to speak to him again and she says that he says the same. She said she feels better now nobody is going to call "HER boyfriend" sweetheart.

I think it's absolutely ridicilous and I haven't stopped crying for days. Not only have I lost one of my best friends, I've also lost someone who was like my brother.

I'm so angry, hurt and upset because I know she's made him choose between us, and while I wouldn't have wanted him to choose her over me, I wish he would have valued me as a friend and told her straight that she is being ridicilous. It shouldn't have even come to this, there's never been anything more between us. I'm absolutely heartbroke, but I've respected what he's said and not contacted him, but I did message him saying that I'll always be here.

His girlfriend is obviously very jealous and insecure.

I just don't know how to deal with this. I know I can't do anything but she is controlling him and it breaks my heart.

When I apologised to her during our conversation for her being upset, she said fair enough, I know there's nothing going on between you. So why was there still an issue here?
He's blocked me on everything by the way.

Hey there,
I am so sorry I didn't reply sooner, I haven't been on here for a while... but I hope I can help now.


Your friend's ex is definitely jealous, insecure and as I see it: very much controlling. I have to say though, that your friend was not completely sorry about cutting you off as a friend. He made that concious decision when he told you and you need to know, that is not because he doesn't want to be friends - that is because it was his plain, simple choice to choose his cheating ex over a person that would never treat him the way she does - you. Why would he do that? I don't know for sure. Perhaps, he had fallen into the trap that many of us have; of being in love with someone only because they told you they loved you, or that they cared, or maybe because they made you feel like you were complete in some way. Then, to take that all away from you like rain from the clouds.. when truly, all he really liked about her was, the 'feeling' of happiness that she gave him in the past.


Telling him he can't speak to you or have any contact with you is like telling a dog he can't have water after he walked all day.. it is going to happen eventually. He will talk to you. I see how your friendship has made you two prone to calling eachother sweet names, which is actually cute.. but with that said: with him 'seeing' his ex again, that did make things a bit rough. If you know she's jealous, you shouldn't call him sweetheart. But, with that said: she should also be able to trust that you two are just friends as well and get on with life.


I am so sorry she took one of your best friends away from you.. you are right in that he should of valued the friendship you two had and said to his ex 'hey, we are just friends. If you cannot accept that then we can't be together', straight up and to the point. Unfortunately, not everyone is as understanding as we wish them to be.. You shouldn't have been left in the dark and he shouldn't have put you there because of what someone else (his ex) said. It was the right thing though, to not message him and dig yourself deeper than she has already put you. Also, by saying you'll be there for him shows you have a lot of respect.


I am sorry to say, she will be controlling your friend for awhile... If she can make him cut contact with you, then who knows what she can make him do. The point of saying "oh i know there's nothing going on between the two of you" was to show that she has all the control. She basically proved that she is a master manipulator and that he needs to find his own way out. All I can say is that eventually he will come around. No really, he will. One day your friend is going to realize he broke off an amazing friendship for a girl that took all of his originality and dignity away. He will wake up one day and she will probly treat him the same way she did in the past, then he'll come running back to you hoping everyting will be okay. When that time comes, you tell him everything will be okay. Tell him he made a mistake, you forgive him, but you want him to know that you would of never done that to him. Until then, let him figure out his own mistakes. And you cannot dwell on this situation, because eventually he will regret what he has chosen to do.


You need to be strong, so he can be too. You need to be someone he can come to when he feels down. Be the person you want him to be, so he can understand what he chose.

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i have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we have never had sex. its not like we both want to. i do. he does. but everytime we try i get scared. and it doesnt help im over sensitive to every touch. is something wrong with me?

Hi,
I don't think something is wrong with you, I think you just need to talk to your boyfriend. Telling him what you like and what you don't will help you feel more comfortable about having sex with him. Start off small by letting him know what kind of touching you do like and what makes you feel uncomfortable. Then move on to topics, such as: what you would like to hear from him when having sex and what you would like to do before and after. He needs to know, so you both can work at it together and be able to enjoy the moment. Otherwise, you'll just keep feeling uncomfortable or scared... Don't be. He's your boyfriend and he loves you, so be honest with him «3

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14/f
Saturday night I was at my younger cousin's birthday party and after most everybody had left, some of my family were sitting out on the back patio on a couch. One of my uncles was sitting next to me and all of a sudden while he was drinking, he put his legs in my lap. I moved away a little and he ended up just resting his feet against my leg. I didn't think too much of it until he started rubbing his foot against my leg and started to pull my dress back a little. But I couldn't tell if it was done subconsciously or not. And then later, more people came out so we all had to squeeze together on the couch. He had his hand out behind my neck and kind of stroked my neck a little. Is this normal? I mean, I'm not really close to any of my uncles and none of them are as "hands on" (like putting arm in a hug) like he is. I feel kinda uncomfortable around him sometimes, even though I know that he loves my aunt and wouldn't do anything stupid or inappropriate to me. But I still have that weird little feeling in the back of my head. I honestly can't tell if it's bad or if I'm just being paranoid.

Hey there,
Your Uncle rubbing his foot against your leg and pulling your dress back a little wasn't appropriate of him. He could of done this because he was drinking, but either way it was inappropriate. When he put his hand behond your neck and stroked it, that's kind of normal. I say kind of normal, cuz sometimes if my Dad and I are talking and we can relate, he might reach out and stroke my neck for a few seconds. But if your uncle was doing that for a minute or longer on your neck, that is a bit odd. Plus, him touching your neck along with pulling your dress up doesn't sound right to me. Next time, if he does the dress thing or touches your legs inappropriately, just tell him to stop. If he doesn't, you should tell an adult you trust, such as your Auntie or parents. Also, if after you tell someone, you still get that weird feeling in the back of your head next time you see him, trust the feeling. Your instincts are usually right so talk to someone about it.

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Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 7 months now. He always shes he loves me, and how much he wants to be with me, but then he goes and hurts me. He always says hes doing one thing (Homework) and then his best friend texts me and says (Connors over with Amy right now!) Amy being someone I'm not on great terms with. She thinks Im no good for Connor.

He does other things too, he always says things that offend me, but I always tell him they offend me, and sometimes he just shrugs whatever it was off and doesn't try to fix it.

What do I do? I dont want to break up with him or anything.. But I guess if I have too.. Then I have too!

All names have been changed in this story.

By the sounds of it, this guy is leading you on. Meaning he may tell you he loves you, but if you read what you wrote: "goes and hurts you", "Says he's doing homework when he's not", "says things that offend you and shrugs it off"... These are All signs that he doesn't really love you and you know it. If a guy loves you he will do whatever he can to make you happy and work with you to make things that aren't working, work.

My honest thoughts are telling me that you are infatuated with him and not in love. Everytime he tells you he loves you he makes you feel wanted, but then he does something to hurt you and that's when you feel like breaking up. Its a cycle that may not be fixed if you're both not willing to put in the effort to work with eachother. Also, by saying "if I have to, then I have to' tells me that you just want his comfort, not the relationship or you'd straight up say "I want to make this relationship work". That is not how it seems. I think you should find a guy who will treat you with respect. Point blank, he probably cheated on you with this other girl and you just ignored the fact. You can find a guy that will love you for you and want to be there for you no matter what - not criticizing you. You deserve better girl. Stop putting yourself through this cycle and you will find an honest/respectful guy that will treat you like his world. Trust me.

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