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is this normal?
14/f
Saturday night I was at my younger cousin's birthday party and after most everybody had left, some of my family were sitting out on the back patio on a couch. One of my uncles was sitting next to me and all of a sudden while he was drinking, he put his legs in my lap. I moved away a little and he ended up just resting his feet against my leg. I didn't think too much of it until he started rubbing his foot against my leg and started to pull my dress back a little. But I couldn't tell if it was done subconsciously or not. And then later, more people came out so we all had to squeeze together on the couch. He had his hand out behind my neck and kind of stroked my neck a little. Is this normal? I mean, I'm not really close to any of my uncles and none of them are as "hands on" (like putting arm in a hug) like he is. I feel kinda uncomfortable around him sometimes, even though I know that he loves my aunt and wouldn't do anything stupid or inappropriate to me. But I still have that weird little feeling in the back of my head. I honestly can't tell if it's bad or if I'm just being paranoid.
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What your uncle committed is very very inappropriate and serious, and I believe you should tell your parents about it. Pulling up your dress is totally unacceptable, and I would term it sexual abuse. He might go further next time, so make sure to tell someone about this.
Good luck :)
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The pulling back your dress- not normal. My uncles, when they sit next to me on a couch or something, they do stroke my neck, or hair. It's normal, they've done it since I was a baby and no one treats it as alien or anything. But I think you should stay away from that touchy feely uncle, you never know. Always trust your instinct! Best of luck{:
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I honestly think that you're not being paranoid. You're uncle did something, stupid, inappropriate, sexual content relation. If he pulls your dress back, and tries to lok under there, tell him to stop. He's being inappropriate, but seriously talk to your parents about it. If they think it's just cz he got wasted, investigate. If he ever did something like that without any alcohol he's trying yo feel you up and that's when you get up and and tell someone he's mallesting you and trying to hold you in the wrong way. The best thing is look out and talk to your parents about this.
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Being a huggy feely touchy type is one thing. Pushing your dress up your leg is something else altogether. If you want to chalk it up to his drinking that is up to you but I would go with your feeling that it was wrong of him to do so drunk or sober.
My Uncle, my mothers brother, really loved all his nieces and nephews. Whenever we saw him we could expect big hugs and kisses even in to our adult ages. This was normal for him and we all accepted it and looked forward to it. From what you have written you are not close to your Uncle and you do not have the touchy feely relationship my cousins and I had with my Uncle.
I would say you have every right to be upset and concerned with this event and want to make sure it doesn't happen again. I would suggest you say something to mom and dad about it. Let them know it made you feel uncomfortable and that you would not like it to happen again.
It is possible mom and dad will say something to the effect your Uncle was drunk and just let it go. If so you can do as they say and should it ever happen again scream in your loudest voice UNCLE BILL STOP TOUCHING ME.
The other thing you can do is call the following organization for advice. They are called RAINN which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. In a very technical sense by touching you in the manner he did without your permission, your Uncle abused you. Giving RAIN a call and speaking with one of their volunteers they can advise you how best to handle this situation and future situations should it happen again. Their number is:1-800-656-HOPE. This is a 24/7 hotline.
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Trust your instincts and stay away from him.
MAYBE it was subconscious. Doesn't matter really: It's not okay. He DID do something stupid and inappropriate to you - it just wasn't stupid or inappropriate enough to get him called on it.
If he does anything like this again, tell him to stop. Call him on it and keep your distance. He might not mean to be a threat, but what he did was threatening and not okay.
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Hey there,
Your Uncle rubbing his foot against your leg and pulling your dress back a little wasn't appropriate of him. He could of done this because he was drinking, but either way it was inappropriate. When he put his hand behond your neck and stroked it, that's kind of normal. I say kind of normal, cuz sometimes if my Dad and I are talking and we can relate, he might reach out and stroke my neck for a few seconds. But if your uncle was doing that for a minute or longer on your neck, that is a bit odd. Plus, him touching your neck along with pulling your dress up doesn't sound right to me. Next time, if he does the dress thing or touches your legs inappropriately, just tell him to stop. If he doesn't, you should tell an adult you trust, such as your Auntie or parents. Also, if after you tell someone, you still get that weird feeling in the back of your head next time you see him, trust the feeling. Your instincts are usually right so talk to someone about it.
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