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why cant i?
i have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we have never had sex. its not like we both want to. i do. he does. but everytime we try i get scared. and it doesnt help im over sensitive to every touch. is something wrong with me?
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Since you do not say how old you are I am going to go on the assumption that you and your boyfriend may be underage teenagers. If I'm wrong the information I'm attaching will still be helpful.
If I'm right in my assumption then what is probably happening is your self-protection mechanism is in panic mode. We all have a self-protection mechanism which is why we get scared when we attempt to do something we are not ready for or not trained to do.
Sex is one of those things we truly need to be ready for. There is no real training for sex it is something that is natural and we get better at it as we do it. It is quite normal regardless of age, for the female to be scared the first time she has intercourse. She knows for instance that the first time will be painful. What she does not truly know is will her partner be gentle, will he try to make it memorable for her. Is it going to be something that is done fast so as not to get caught. These all play in her mind.
For a women regardless if it is the first time or one hundredth time in order for her to relax and enjoy the act she needs: A comfortable place to have sex. She needs to feel safe and secure someplace where they will not be intruded upon. Most of all she needs to trust her partner. Remove any of the three and the fear factor comes into play. For the man it is more of a mechanical thing, as the saying goes a knot hole will do in a pinch.
Since this is the first time for both of you I suggest the two of you review the website for the URL supplied below. I found this site when doing research for another young lady with similar writing as yours. Since then I have recommended this site to many others. Most have found it useful. I hope you will too. It is called "Am I ready for Sex."
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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Hi,
I don't think something is wrong with you, I think you just need to talk to your boyfriend. Telling him what you like and what you don't will help you feel more comfortable about having sex with him. Start off small by letting him know what kind of touching you do like and what makes you feel uncomfortable. Then move on to topics, such as: what you would like to hear from him when having sex and what you would like to do before and after. He needs to know, so you both can work at it together and be able to enjoy the moment. Otherwise, you'll just keep feeling uncomfortable or scared... Don't be. He's your boyfriend and he loves you, so be honest with him «3
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