Member Since: May 2, 2009
Answers: 54
Last Update: May 29, 2014
Visitors: 3905
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well i have been having a really tough time lately.
My mum late last year had a brain heamorrage and almost died.
My parents are divorced. and my sister was reacently in hospital.
and i have been bullied all my life , PLUS i just started year 7.
Any ideas of how to handle this? P.S im 13 from australia. Abiee xx (link)
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For such a young age you have been thorugh alot, but in all things you should give God thanks. When you think you have it bad, always remember that there is someone out there who has it alot worse than you do. There will come times in your life when you feel like just giving up, but just be strong and press on. There is a saying that goes, "what doesn't break you will make you". This means if your situation does not tear you apart or destroy you it will only make you stronger. When you feel alone and feel like the times are getting to tough, just get on your knees and talk to God, he has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. Sometimes God gives us tests, (sometimes called hard and difficult situations)they may seem hard and many times you will want to quit, but just stick it there and push your way through and remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. As for the bullies in your life, I think you should avoid them as much as you can, but when you do meet paths, you should learn to stand up for yourself, don't allow people to run over you, stand up to them and show no fear, even if you are afraid. And pray for the bullies as well.
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Hey, I really appreciate your advice. I need to ask you this question cause you have gone through this yourself. For me I believe everything you said was true on my part. I didn't show her enough attention, got comfortable in the marraige, and wasn't romantic enough. I understand why she did it. But for me, I never heard anything about it until after I found out about it. I thought we had the perfect marraige. We also have a 2yr old and I'm sure that didn't help. I love her so much that if she would have told me before all of this, I would have done everything in my power to try and fix it. Now its in the past and we wan't to move forward. But she tells me she stills loves him. I have been showering her with affection, and doing so much that I almost feel as if I'm the one who cheated. She is so emotionally distant, and when I try to talk about it to work things out, she gets upset. I am confused as to why she is acting this way. I am fighting for her, when I think it should be the other way around. I have done everything I think I should be doing. Can you tell me what she is going through and why she doesn't seem like she loves me, even though she says she does. (link)
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Now lets be real here, you say that if your wife had told you all of this, you would have done everything in your power to try and fix it. I am sure she has been telling you for a very long time, whether it has been verbally, physically or emotionally. Maybe you were too busy to listen and see the signs. I'm sure she has complained to you about thing that you have been doing that she doesn't like or things that she wants you to do more of. You say you never heard anything about the affair until you found out, I never told my husband about my affair either, he accused me on two occasions, but I denied it. He too, thought we had the perfect marriage, but that was in his eyes, not mine, deep down I was hurting and longing for his attention. When he was not around I would sit to myself and cry, and ask the Lord, why? I wanted to be a good wife to my husband, I wanted to have that perfect marriage that we once had, but I felt like my cries were falling on deaf ears, my husband was not hearing me, because he felt like our marriage was perfect. You say you would have done everything in your power to make things right, but in reality, like most men, you only want to do what is right you feel like you are loosing your spouse, when you know that someone else is "playing your role" and doing what you should have been doing to make your wife happy. Am i right? There is a saying that goes "you nver miss the water until the well runs dry". I do not doubt for a minute that you love your wife, if your wife is telling that she still loves this guy I can totally understand and relate, because I too still love that guy I had the affair with, but at least you and your wife have that open relationship where she can tell you any and everything. Trust me when I tell you this is good. She is being honest and open with you. I on the other hand cannot be this open and honest with my husband, but I wish that I could. I think the reason why she is being emotionally distant with you is because she is afraid of getting hurt again. She is probally afraid that things will not get better or they will get better only for a short while and then return back to the way they were. I know this is what I was afraid of. She is probally thinking to herself "why should I give up this other guy who treats me like roayalty and pays attention to me, for my husband who does not understand me". I understand that you want to talk about it to work things out, but I think the best thing for you to do is to not bring up the situation about her affair, like you said, it is in the past so leave it in the past. She already knows that what she did was wrong, but she doesn't need to be constantly reminded of it. Just try to love her and be there for her. Although she may seem distant, I think it because she is not sure how you really feel about her anymore, she doesn't know whether or not yoy will still look at her the same knowing that she cheated or almost cheated on you. I would get upset too if you kept bringing it up. I think it's best that you show her you love her, but do not smother her. Try to give her her space. Sometimes I want to say things to my husband, but I feel like he is not listening or I feel like what I want to say will lead to us having an arguement, so instead of me saying it, I would write him a letter telling him exactly how I feel. I would leave the letter on the bed or dresser, he would read it and then we would discuss it when he is ready. Maybe you should try this method sometimes instead of trying to talk about it all the time and her getting upset. Tell her how you feel in the letter, tell her what you want to happen and everything else you are feeling, after you are done with your letter give her her space. Allow her to come to you and talk to you about the letter when she is ready. Leave it where she can find it and DO NOT bring it up anymore. Your wife loves you but she just wants you to do the right thing and be the man she fell in love with. Good luck and I wish you well. If this doesn't work, then sign her on and let me talk with her. Seems like your a good man and a ry understanding person.
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me and my boyfriend broke up and my best friend asked me why and i told her i dint know.
the next day she asked me again and i said "uhmm idk because we felt like it"
then this morning she pulled my boyfriend over and started questioning him..i got soo mad that i waited until she left and confronted him and asked him what she asked. and what she asked him was why we broke up.. and what happened. my friend is kinda happy
i dont know why she is questioning soo much . maybe she likes my ex.
what do you think? (link)
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My gut tells me that maybe your friend is interested in him. She probally wants to make sure that both of you are no longer a couple before she makes her move. The other reason may be because she cares about your well being, which I honestly doubt. I personally would not want my best friend to date my ex, even if I no longer wanted him. It seems to me like you still have feeling for this guy and you are hoping that the breakup is only temporary. If this guy broke up with you, chances are he is no longer interested in you, but I think you should find out why he broke up with you, he owes you that much. And if the reason is something you did to make him unhappy, let him know that you are sorry and that are willing to work on making things better. But whatever you do, do not sound desperate, or make him feel like you are begging to be with him. Tell your friend to take a chill pill, cause the reason why you and your boyfriend broke up is none of her business. Good Luck and I hope this advice helps you. Let me know how it goes.
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Ok so i know this boy, and he is a real gentleman. I was asking all my guyfriends if they have ever made-out with a girl before, and my crush said no. I'm not sure if he likes me or not, but when we were playfully disagreeing on something he leaned in really close to my face and looked me in the eyes. I played back and leaned in too. Im not sure if he wants to kiss me or not, but i dont want to make the move and freak him out. What should i do?! (link)
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Make the move! Girls are more bolder now than we were a few years ago. If the situation arises again when both of you find yourselves face to face, go in for the kill, make it just a quick kiss, then wait to see his repsonse. If the feeling is mutual, then he will want another one, this time more passionate. If the feeling is not mutual, then you will know.
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16/f
at age 16 i had sex with my best friend (he was my first) & we weren't dating. hes very sexually active but hes gay, but will pretty much do it with anyone good looking. one month later after we did it a couple more times he asked me out. (me not thinking i said yes) and we dated a week before he broke up with me because he thought of me more as a sister. we agreed not to do anything anymore to save my feelings. we only kissed one more time on new years and once or twice he kissed me on the check. its 7 months since we first did it and i've realized im in love with him. but the problem is we are hardly friends anymore, he has this sarcastic rude sense of humore that hurts my feelings and yet i still love him. he really hurts me sometimes and he makes joke about how when we did it it was so awful.hes gay but im in love with him. what do i do, i know i need to forget about him but i dont know how. (please dont go all "hes not gay if he...." its kinda irrelevant" thank you so much! (link)
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It sounds like this guy is a total loser. The only reason you feel like you are in love with him is because he was your first. I think for us girls, we never forget our first and always feel like we are in love with them. I think you feel this way because you haven't have a chance as yet to experience true love. Don't worry, the right guy will come along and when he does, you will realize that this guy was actually nothing more than a gay jerk and although you will never forget him (because he was your first), you will totally be over him. Don't try to persue this guy in terms of a relationship, because you and I both know that there is no future with him, find someone who will love you and vice versa.
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My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years. Recently she developed a friendship with a man at work. They became really close and while I was away for work, he came over to say goodbye to her cause he was going away for work also, and things happened. There was no sex, but pretty close. After he left they were in contact for about a week online. She actually said she fell in love with him. I discovered this and confronted her. After a lot of conversation, we both wanted to work things out. She told him she couldn't talk to him anymore and we began to talk about ways to fix it. Now my question is, its been a couple of weeks and I have changed completely. I have told her coutless times how much I love her and many other things to show my affection. She hasn't at all. She still loves him, and this hurts. She says she wants to make it work, but she got caught. She didn't wake up and realize she made a mistake. What should I do? (link)
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I myself found myself in a very similar situation not to long ago, but in your case your wife wasclose to cheating, in my case it was me that actually did cheat on my husband. I think you should ask yourself what actually made your wife fall for another guy in the first place. Was it that you were not giving her the love and attention that she craved, were you not playing the husband role and taking care of your rresponsibilities at home? I was married to my husband for almost 9 years, we used to do everything together and we had an exciting marriage, until after about 2 years into marriage, my husband I guess decided that because we were already married he didn't have to try anymore, so he got relaxed in the marriage,everytime I wanted us to go out together he was always tired, we only had sex when he wanted it, he never paid me any attention anymore and the list goes on. I considered my self a very good wife to him, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined cheating on him, but he refused to put any effort into the marriage. I just got really tired of this. I constantly told him about it, but i saw little effort on his part. He didn't want to go to counselling, and I didn't want to leave my marriage, so I stayed and put up with all his bull. It was not until a client at our office came in and he would alway flirt with me. One day he asked me out to lunch and I accepted, we talked alot on the phone, and I just found that he paid more attention to me than my husband did, and we ended up having an affair. Although I knew it was wrong to do, when someone else provides you with something you are not getting at home, like in my case, I longed for my husband to pay more attention to me, for him to make me feel like he really loved me, I never cared about material things that he could give me, I just wanted the love and attention. So maybe this is what your wife wants from you. As like your wife, I did fall in love with this other guy and I still am, although I ended the affair. It may be true that your wife is in love with this other guy, but that doesn't mean that she is not in love with you. I think it is important to have a talk with your wife and found out what made her fall for this other guy in the first place, find out if it was something that you were doing for her. Then you should shower her with love and affection, let her know that you love her, make her feel like your queen and I am sure she will treat you like her king. And for God's sake, please do not throw her affair in her face, because I am sure you will not make the situation any better. Your wife may still be in love with this other guy, but if you treat her the way she wants you to, I am sure you can and will win heart back again as you did in the begining. Good luck!
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My aunt recently emailed me to ask me if I would pay her monthly house payment as she and her husband have had a difficult year financially. She works in a factory and her husband is a truck driver. Both have had their hours/pay cut due to the recent economy. However, they live in a rather nice home that they built 10 years ago, so I'm sure the house payments are quite high. Twenty years ago, she borrowed money from my mom and never paid it back. This has been a point of contention ever since. I have the money to help, and I know it's the right thing to do, but why do I feel as if I'll never see this money again? Should I give in and give her the money? (link)
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I think that if your aunty and her husband are really really in a tight jam and are unable to pay their mortgage and you are in a position to help them out, then you should. I think if you are going to do something for someone, you should do it from the heart, or don't do it at all. What if you were in your aunts position and you were unable to pay your mortgage, would you want her or someone else to help you. If your aunt is really hurting financially and is really unable to afford the mortgage payment then I think you should help her out without even worrying about receiving the money back. We are here on earth to help our brothers and sisters out when they are in need. This is how we get our blessings. Who knows maybe one day maybe someone will do the same for you. If you only want to lend the money to your aunt and both of you have a clear understanding that that is all it is "a loan" then you should make sure that you have something in writing stating that she has a certain length of time to pay you back. Just do whatever you think is right, the decision in the end is yours, go with your gut. Good luck in whatever decision you make.
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this boy jake and i had a fling almost a year ago. i had met him at an event at church. he is related to my best friend. after a month of the fling happening, i became very busy with volleyball and didnt see him for months. during that time i became involved with another guy and so did jake with another girl. so we both basically gave up. but lately i have realized how this guy actually is the right guy for me. so many things about him make it seem like our relationship would be perfect. including the fact that i know all of his friends, we go to the same church, and all of his family likes me. but currently, he is still with his girlfriend and apparently in love. my best friend tells me almost every day to give up on him and that he doesnt like me, etc. everytime i hear that i get mad and her and i argue about it. she goes on and on about how i should give up, i look stupid, i have no chance and she says shes just looking out for me. but deep down i feel as if there still is some hope. so basically my question is, should i talk to him about it and see what he has to say about how he feels..or what should i do? (link)
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My advice to you is to never give up on true love, you will regret it in the future. You will constantly be asking yourself, what if...? I think you should let this guy know eactly how you feel, let him know that the time you both spent apart from each other made you realize just how much you really do love and care for him. Although he has a girlfriend now that does not mean that he doesn't still have feeling for you, especially if you both had a good relationship in the past. He may probally not know how to approach you and express his feelings to you. But my thing is if you do not tell a person how you feel, they will never know and you can end up missing out on a good thing, maybe a life long partner, who knows? Love will always find its way home, if his heart belongs to you, you can be assured that he will he will come home. Good Luck!
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Wow, that was really great. I let my boyfriend see that and it totally turned him on. :P bahahahaha. And he wanted me to ask you if you know of any other thing we could do. You can be completly extream. We are planning on going all the way. So yea, any sex positions? Orrr any thing elseeee? :D (link)
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Haha, I told you you would like it. I personally like the experience of my husband pushing one finger in my butt while he is eating me, this gives me an orgasm of a life time. Sometimes he does the one finger in the butt and one finger in the vagina at the same time, "works for me". Let your boyfriend move the finger in and out slowly just like the movement of a penis if it was inside the vagina, you will totally get off on this, but make sure that his fingernails are cut really low. And for me doggy style sex is always the best. Good luck.
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Uhhmm, well my boyfriend wants to eat me out. I'm very ticklish in certain areas :P, so I was wondering if it tickles alotttttt, or not really. I reeeeeeally wanna hear more about it, like would it hurt if he has braces? Because my bf does.. But anyways.
Can I hear more about how it feels too? :P
I am 15 and a female (link)
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Yes it does tickle, but in a really good way. Trust me when I tell you, this is an experience you will totally enjoy. That is if your botfriend know what he is doing. I think that you should allow your boyfriend to just explore every part of your vagina. While he is doing you should tell him what you like and what you dislike while he is doing it. Ths way he will know exactly what pleases you and he will aim to make it the perfect experience the next time around. When my husband first started eating me it was good,but it was not perfect. Ater sex when we were relaxed, we would talk about and I would tell him what it was that I wanted him to do more and what I didn't like,and he worked on his imperfection, now he is a professional. I find what works best is while your guy is eating you, if he does something that makes you feel good, moan or reply "oh baby that feels good" or something of that nature and he will be totally turned on and he will go all out to please you. Some guys tend to eat in different ways, I had an experinece where this guy was eating me and it totally did nothing for me. I was not even turned on, why, because of the way it was done, I do not like a sloppy eater, I like a guy to take his time and explore, not eat me like a man who was starving and haven't eaten in a week, if you know what I mean. As far as the braces are concerned, I haven't had that experience, but he should be using his tongue, not his teeth, so everything should be ok. I hope my advice works well for you, let me know how it goes. And remember to tell him what ticks your clock.
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I have a boyfriend named K(We'll name him K). I tell him that i love him and he just says "meh" and doesn't say it back. I went over to "K"s house and he completely ignored me. I told him that i wont kiss him for a week, but he said that he doesn't care if i kiss him or not. When i told him that i was mad at him, before i could explain, he went to his basement. I have 4th block with "K" and i think i have to break up with him. I most likely will lose him as a friend and i can't afford to lose another friend. After i break up with him, should i try to be friends or just forget about it? (link)
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I think you should give him his space. It seems as if this guy is not in to you as much as you are in to him. I personally feel that a girl should never allow a guy to see that she is more interested in him than he is in her, even if that is the case, because guys tend to take advantage of that. If he really wants you allow him to persue you and not the other way around. And as far as being friends, like I said, give him his space. He will soon realize that he has giving up a good friend and he will come areound to his senses.
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what does being eaten out feel like? my boyfriend wants to do it to me so i kinda want to know what to expect and what should i do while he's doing it? (link)
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Being eaten to me is actually better than the sex itself. My husband knows that I love to be eaten so he gets to work and eats until I cum all in his mouth. I would moan really loud when I am climaxing and if I want him to put his tongue in a certain place or deeper in me I tell him. I think guys really "get off" when they are eating you and you moan and scream with pleasure, they feel like the king of the jungle and try even harder to please you. However, "eating" will only be enjoyed if the guy knows what he is doing because I had an experience where this guy was not a good eater at all. He was a sloppy eater and I hated it. I didn't tell him he was awful at it, but everytime he attempted to go down on me, I would turn him down and only allow him to get straight into the sex part because he was an expert in that department.
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im male 20 my penis is 4 inches when erect ive had sex a couple of times but dont no if im giving her the pleasure she should get out of sex is my size ok would this satisfy most girls. (link)
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I am a female and I usually say size doesn't matter. "It's not what you have that matters, it's how you work what you have that counts". I don't think that you should ask your girlfriend whether or not she is satisfied because if she is you should be able to tell while intercourse is in process, based on her actions or her moans etc. Her body language and facial expression should be all the answer you need. From a personal perspective, oral sex is what I like the most, so once my husbands "eats me" until I climax, I can't focus on anything else for the night, so size is the last thing on my mind after that.
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My boyfriend fingered me for the first time last week. It was the first time Ive done anything like that, I dont even masturbate or anything, and it really hurt. How long does it take for it to stop hurting usually? I just feel bad cause I think he thought he was doing something wrong or something..
16/F (link)
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I agree with the others when they say that you should make sure that your boyfriend's fingernails are cut very short. Fingering can actually be fun and exciting. I think that when your boyfriend is doing this you should tell him exactly what you want and how you are feeling at that time. If you feel he is going to fast or doing it to rough tell him. Do not pretend, let him know that is the only way he will know how you feel and learn to please you the way you want to be pleased.
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