16/f
at age 16 i had sex with my best friend (he was my first) & we weren't dating. hes very sexually active but hes gay, but will pretty much do it with anyone good looking. one month later after we did it a couple more times he asked me out. (me not thinking i said yes) and we dated a week before he broke up with me because he thought of me more as a sister. we agreed not to do anything anymore to save my feelings. we only kissed one more time on new years and once or twice he kissed me on the check. its 7 months since we first did it and i've realized im in love with him. but the problem is we are hardly friends anymore, he has this sarcastic rude sense of humore that hurts my feelings and yet i still love him. he really hurts me sometimes and he makes joke about how when we did it it was so awful.hes gay but im in love with him. what do i do, i know i need to forget about him but i dont know how. (please dont go all "hes not gay if he...." its kinda irrelevant" thank you so much!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Darby answered Monday May 18 2009, 12:47 am: This guy does sound like a complete jerk. You deserve someone that wants to be with you, not some lowlife that can't make up his mind about anything. He doesn't need to be making jokes about how the sex you two had was awful. He just sounds like a little punk and you're right; you need to move on! Completely break off contact with him. Luckily, summer is coming up, so if you go to the same school, you may not see him again until autumn.
That's a perfect chance for you to open yourself up to new relationships. Hang out with your girl friends. Have a few sleepovers and girl nights. Go to the skating rink, the pool, the mall, the theatre. Anything that occupies your time will be less time you can think about this loser.
Don't text him. Don't call him. Don't respond to him. The only way to truly get over it is to break off contact completely, at least until you're over the love you have for him.
After a while, you'll notice yourself thinking about him less and less. You won't even understand what you saw in him sooner or later. It will take time and effort, but you can do it.
Keep your eyes open for opportunities to meet new guys, and don't be afraid to date a little, even though you still love this guy. You don't have to commit to anything serious. But hanging out and talking to new people will only do you good at this point.
foxylady answered Sunday May 17 2009, 11:45 pm: It sounds like this guy is a total loser. The only reason you feel like you are in love with him is because he was your first. I think for us girls, we never forget our first and always feel like we are in love with them. I think you feel this way because you haven't have a chance as yet to experience true love. Don't worry, the right guy will come along and when he does, you will realize that this guy was actually nothing more than a gay jerk and although you will never forget him (because he was your first), you will totally be over him. Don't try to persue this guy in terms of a relationship, because you and I both know that there is no future with him, find someone who will love you and vice versa. [ foxylady's advice column | Ask foxylady A Question ]
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