RachyPie's advice column

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Q: i feel like my life is slipping away because im always trying to find a girlfriend that will last more then a week, but everything falls through. i keep thinking that if i dont make memories now then when im old i wont have anything and ultimately end up commiting suicide

You shouldn't need a girlfriend to validate you.

There's more to life than that.

Make memories with your friends... Go out and make new friends and experience new things.

Ironically, you'll probably find out that you'll find someone once you stop looking.

Go and have fun, and good luck! xxx

Q: Alright, well, I really want to go a madonna piercing. This is really a question only for people who either have them or know at least a friend or someone whose had them done.

I want to get one, but I want to ask how much does it hurt? Like, compared to getting ears pierced, do you think it hurts more or less?

And how exactly do they pierce this? Do they just stick a needle right through your mouth, or what?

I've got right bottom lip and my mum has right top lip...

You go in, they ask you where you want it, they put the needle in, push it all the way through and slide a plastic cylider to keep it open. Then they put he stud in.

Hurts the same as your ears, and actually hurt less than my tregus piercing! xxx

Q: I have a really huge fear of showing up in the same dress as someone and it happened last year! I know it's almost impossible to find a dress that 600 other girls won't wear but I want to get one at a unique store. Not Macy's, JC Penney, Kohl's, Jessica McClintock, or Windsor. I just want to know some stores with good dresses.

Thanks.

Try vintage stores, all the pieces are practically unique, although they can be expensive.

You could also try online.

There are a lot of services that can make dresses to measure and alter their designs for a unique dress.

Weird as it sounds, try eBay. My mum got married last year and there are amazing dresses all over eBay, you send the seller your measurements and they send you a perfectly fitting dress!!
Also they're from Hong Kong and it only took a couple of weeks for dresses to reach us in Britain!

My favourite method of getting a unique dress is making one, but if neither you or any of your famiy have experience in dress making, it'll be a bit too ambitious.

Have fun and good luck finding your dress xxx

Q: Okay I have been dating the same guy for 1 year & 3 months. I'm 18 & he is 20. We didn't have sex until 1 day after our 8 month anniversary. When we have sex he always aims to go for my butt instead of the other. Not only that but he always talks baby talk, I mean I know it may be our thing but whatever. If you really think about it at our age thats just weird. Okay here is the thing. It has been 2 almost 3 months since the last time we have had sex the right way. I bug him about it every now & then but not until it really bugs me. Well he had spent the night the other night after he had got off work, his parents were out of town so thats the only way he could stay the night, which is odd, because he is 20 but he still lives at home & doesn't plan on getting married anytime soon. Or moving out of his parents house. Anyhow. The morning after he had stayed the night nothing happened, I mean no kisses no touching nothing. So the next morning I asked him what was wrong & why doesn't he want to have sex with me, & he said sex isn't ever on his mind & it doesn't thrill him like it does other people or me. I barely get kisses. He doesn't even touch me anymore. He won't give me any explanation of why he seriously doesn't wanna touch or have sex with me which kind of makes me think hes gay, but anyways, if anyone knows how I can deal with this or if its even normal for a guy not to want to have sex with someone he says hes in love with. Please give me advice as soon as you can, I will greatly appreciate it.

Signed- Confused one.

This must be an awful situation to be in!

It sounds to me (maybe not to other people) as though he is gay, but maybe too scared about what family/friends/society will think to go and experiment with his sexuality?

I think you need to talk to him, and tell him your worries over his sexuality (assuring him that there's nothing wrong with being gay) and the fact that his behaviour makes you feel really unwanted.

Only you two can work this out... That's the only advice I can give you, sorry...

Good luck. xxx

Q: There is this guy from work who has been showing an interest in me for months now, but hasn't asked me out. I know that he isn't married and as far as I know he's single.
Well I know he likes me because he always walks by my department and he'll stare at me. He also will come up to talk to me all the time about random things, sometimes he makes up excuses to talk to me. He is an assistant manager at the store I work at. Even my supervisor thinks he likes me because I guess he used to ask her who was closing, and if she said me he would smile, but if it was someone else he would sigh and go "ohhh', in a disapointed voice. He even came up to me one night and flat out asked me if I was single, so that is what made me know for sure he was interest. So a couple of months ago I made a flirty pass at him, something I've never done. His reaction was that his face lit up like a Xmas tree, and then he got this love sick look. But then he looked embarrased and took off. The day after he couldn't look me in the eye and looked guilty of something (maybe that I saw his true feelings for me). Then he started coming up to me more but was treating me more like a friend, because he flirts with all the ladies but I think he wants me to take him more seriously. I also noticed that two of his male friends who also work at the store were being a lot nicer to me than they normally are, so I think he had been talking about me. About two weeks ago I got a makeover and he couldn't take his eyes off me, and now he stares at me more than ever and is coming up to me more, and he actually was a real flirt to me one night!. But he still has not asked me out! What do you guys think is going on?

Ask him out!!

Just for coffee at lunch, or a quick drink after work, something really casual and then he'll be more likely to ask you out on a serious date.

Who knows, the coffee/quick drink might turn into a serious date!!

He's probably unsure that you like him, even though you made a pass at him, because he's so flirty...

This will be a sure sign!!

Have fun and good luck! xxx

Q: okay this is long and complicated, but if youre reading this. THANKS :)
its really really stupid, and youve probably read like a MILLION problems like this, but if you help me id be really grateful.

Okay so my best friend laura used to go out with this kid jake. jake and i would talk all the time on aim, and he'd tell me like "ohh i kissed laura todayy" and id be like "haha cute" or whatever. but he'd always say "i love you" to me. and i would never say it back, because then laura might take it seriously and hate me, or jake would use it against me. so then they broke up cause laura just didnt like him anymore, and i was still talking to jake. then he started becoming good friends with these two girls i really dont like, meg and michelle. they were really into him and stuff, and theyd talk ALLLLLL the time. i got so jealous. jake was giving them more attention than me. we didnt really talk as much. then one day he randomly imed me, and we were talked for a while. i really started liking him again, but i think he likes meg or michelle. jalksjdfsjld i DONT know what to do. im a shy person, you wouldnt think that cause im funny and pretty outgoing, but i could nver tell jake how i feel, its just not me. i dont know what i should do! i flirt with him a little, and he does back usually, but other than that, what can i do to get his attention?
sorry its really stupid, but thanks

Just say to him "I miss our chats, we really don't talk anymore"

He'll see that you miss him without you having to admit how you feel and then you can flirt and build up a relationship from there.

Have fun and good luck! xxx

Q: how did you get your column to be purple

Go to 'column settings' underneath 'profile settings' and then click the 'purple' button next to all the colour option text boxes.

xxx

Q: Okay, I am know good at fashion, So I have come to my fellow Advicentors for help.
What looks better Blow drying your hair or Just letting it dry?

If you want a specific style, blow drying.

If you don't, let your hair naturally dry because it is SO much better for your hair.

xxx

Q: ok i like always wear a sweat shirt even when it's really hott cause i dont know why but i dont feel comfortably not wearing a sweat shirt and i just dont wanna wear sweatshirts when it's hott anymore and stuff so yeah just help please

It sounds like you're hiding underneath your clothes!!

Whether we like it or not, our clothes and overall appearance are how people judge us and it sounds like you're avoiding people's judgement by wearing generic, boring clothes.

Try wearing some plain tshirts in your favourite colours... When you get compliments about how you look really good in certain things, it will spur you on to vary your warderobe more!

You could wear things around the house a couple of times before wearing them out to get used to seeing yourself in something different...

Have fun, experiment a little and good luck. xxx

Q: Ok so my favourite television show has tapings every Tuesday night for free. I'd gladly go to a lot except it's in Sydney and I live in Victoria (The state next to it) and this will probably be the last season. Heaps of people I know from that show's official forums are flying there on October 2 and I'd kill to go.

I was thinking of asking my mum if we fly on a super cheap air service, arrive in the morning and go after the taping therefore she doesn't have to pay for accomodation. I was also thinking of this being a super early Christmas present. It'll cost about $230 dollars in Australian money for the airfares and this can be my dad's present to me too. Usually they pay about 200 each so they're saving money.

Also the October 2 taping is during School Holidays so I won't miss any school.

So how should I ask my mum about this?

Why don't you ask her if you can go, and offer (if you can) to pay for the fares yourself?

I know this helps because this is how I got to my first music festivals!!

OR, alternatively, ask for this treat as your birthday or Christmas present?

Have fun and good luck! xxx

Q: 15/f

well this summer i lost my virginity to my
ex boyfriend, who broke up w/ me a few weeks after we had sex the first time..... im single but im still cravy sex so im afraid to get closer to anyone cauz ill use my sexual impullses to chose you i'll date and who i wont...

i dont want to become like my ex cauz we were friends for about a year before he asked me out cauz he had already had a girlfriend who he also was screwin, so when he brok up w/ her he asked me out, he already knew i was soooo ready for sex i was just waitin for someone to ask me if it was ok. so to him i was like a easy to get chic......

pleaz hepl! how do i get control over my sexual impulses so i can have relasionships again?

You need to just realise that you don't have to have sex ALL of the time.

Build up a relationship without ending up alone with him in the kinds of places you could have sex, go out and do stuff together so that you see more in him than just sex.

Have fun and good luck. xxx

Q: what are things that i could use around the house to increase my orgasm level.. bc i dont want to get a vibrator or a dildo.. and in the shower i get them better but i can never get one when im in my room or like anything like when im not in the shower. but just help bc im always horny! thanks

jen- :]

I don't think it's a good idea to use objects from around your house...

Practise makes perfect, keep at it and you'll find out how to get as good an orgasm as you can in the shower without objects.

This will help with when/if you're having sex as well because you can tell him what to do and how. Bonus.

Have fun and good luck. xxx

Q: I'm 16-female. Basically, theres this guy that i think is cute in my computer class, but I've never talked to him. I really want to talk to him and get to know him, but the way our class is set up, we dont talk all period because we're always doing individual work on the computer. How can I start a conversation with him either after class, or if we get a group assignment when I'm in his group, without coming off as strange? (There's not exactly a lot to talk about, about the class. Right now, all we're doing is typing.) Thanks for any helps!

Try making a joke about your teacher, that's a good ice-breaker.

Especially if it's a habit of your teacher's, because then every time the teacher does it, he'll remember the joke you made and therefore you.

This'll make him see your funny side and hopefully want to know more about you.

Good luck. xxx

Q: my boyfriend wants to have sex with me and i fell like i want to but im scared i will fall pregnant wat shold i do???

xx need advice girl xx

If you're sure that he's the right person, you're sure that you want to and neither of you are underage, then go for it.

If the only thing holding you back is the fear of getting pregnant, there's a simple solution.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS USE A CONDOM.

If he refuses to use one, refuse to sleep with him.

Also this will protect you from any nasty diseases if you're boyfriend isn't a virgin (you never know with some STIs).

Before you have sex with him, if you havn't already, work up to sex in stages (ie, hand jobs, blow jobs etc) and that'll make the experience easier pschologically.

Have fun, stay safe and good luck xxx

Q: i need a car that is in good condition
under 2000 dollars. well equipped w/ powerwindows,doors,cd,a/c,4 doors,automatic.

i look in the classifieds and i just wannna know like what are good cars.
some i like are ;
kias
hyundias
toyotas
mitsubishi
nissans
chevys

but what are cheap and good quality cars?

Kias.

My dad has one.

Bloody good cars.

Apparently Nissans are ace too, and there's a lot of second hand ones around so you can get a good deal.

Good luck. xxx

bio

I'm 17, doing my second year of A levels now... I guess that I've seen or experienced most "teenage dramas" (urgh, patronising term) so whatever you want, just ask... I can be incredibly honest (to the point of bluntness) with my advice, but sometimes that's what people need...

Hope I can help! xxx