MissBonne's advice column

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Q: how can i get bigger boobs?

There is no magic pill, no lotion - nothing that you can do - unless its continue growing, surgey or get a better bra.

Q: It takes me so long to fall asleep at night and when i finally do i keep waking up then when the morning/evening comes i have to drag myself out of bed is this normal?

Our young adult body clocks are programmed to sleep in the early am and wake up in the afternoon.

It sucks, its horrible but there are ways to reprogramming your clock.

Start going to be about 15 minutes earlier each week, drink some calming tea, take a bath - anything to get you more relaxed.

Make sure the room is a comfortable temp, quiet and dark too.

Q: How do you know when to kiss someone?
"You'll just know" doesn't cut it for me, k?

Is it when you stare deeply into each other's eyes and happen.. to lean in closer?

Is that the right moment to kiss?

I'm really nervous. I have kissed people before but this is my first kiss in this relationship. Usually my "first kisses" with others.. were bad.

And I want to actually remember this kiss with him.

What is better.. lipgloss or chapstick?

And what will make my breath smell good?
[I don't want to constantly pop in mints]

Usually, a kiss goodbye at the end of the date. I don't pick up on the subtle cues - so I'll tell my boys just to let me know when its kiss time.

There are going to be a lot of bad kisses and it doesn't get better with practice. You just have to find the right guy to kiss.

It depends on the guy with lipgloss or chapstick. You know how some guys like to smell hair while hugging? Those are the lipgloss guys.

As for teeth, brush em good and mouthwash would make your breah smell nice w/o constantly popping in mints.

Q: is joining a gym extremely expensive? i've been asking my parents if i could join it for a year or two now. i know for a fact that i'm not going to join it and waste it and not go. i'm athetic and push myself, but i can't seem to convice them to actually take me to join. i think it has to do with the price. i'm thinking about joining either by myself or getting my mom to join with me. i'm thinking about worlds gym, if that's a chain and anybody else is a member too- but how expensive are gym memberships usually around?

They prolly have a website you can check out for rates (ahem, google it)

However, depending on your age - you can get a part time job at a gym and you can work out for free.

Q: Well im only 14 as you can tell.
I want a baby because they are soo adoriable.
I have a boyfriend we have had protected sex a few times already.
And would do it again.
We have been together for 2 years.
I love him and he loves me.
He is 3 years older.
My parents know and have known his family our whole lives, blah blah blah blah blahh.
So i keep telling him how much i want one but like he says i know you do but i am not ready to be a father and think about how much it would hurt and we dont have enough money.
So i need someone to try and convince me not to want one.
Because you have no idea how badly i want one.
Please help :\

Babies are cute and adorable - and eventually I want one too.

But guess what, they are a lot of work.

Can you financially afford the baby?
Do you have your own health insurance?
Would you be able to finish school successfully?
Are you emotionally stable enough to take care of another child?

It gets old and boring and tedious caring for your own kid 24/7. You get the 3 am feedings, the sickness and you won't like it.

Get your baby fix another way - work at the YMCA or volunteer at the hospital.

Q: I did 1 thing in my past that I regret...lets just say im not really a virgin. But It wasn't my fault. And I wasn't raped, so. When my friends ask me "are you a virgin?"...I'm like stuck because I don't know what to say. If I tell them I am a virgin i would be lying, and if they find out i don't want them to get mad. But if I say I'm not they will think I'm some kind of slut and they will ask what happened, and I do not want to tell them....its personal.So?

Make a joke out of it, it usually clears the conversation to something else.

You can say "Yes. If you mean being a virgin that I've never line danced before" or "No. I had a virgin mary last night."

It's really none of their business, and you can also tell them that...

Q: http://www.z-cyber.net/Products/ZlingStudio.htm

I know this isn't a computer but it essentially runs like one. I've searched what little results Google has given me and still can not find any information.

Its a glorified iPod. Basically, you can watch TV, videos and listen to music on it.

Since you've googled it and nothing shows up - I would guess this product is a little shady.

Instead Amaazon has some better options.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/102-6399107-9684110?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=PORTABLE+MEDIA+PLAYER

Q: Ive been haveing some semptoms of pregnancy please tell me what you think. My boobs hurt off and on, My lower back hurts all the time, Ive had cramp like feelings for a week now. My boobs started leaking this clear clowdy stuff. Am i pregnant?

You could be, since those are common signs for prenancy.

Take a home pregnancy test to find out, this isn't something you can test online.

Q: Hi, could you tell me what all the rules and laws and rights there are of 16 year old kids at work. E.g. what breaks are they entitled to, pay, treatment etc... also would be usefel if you say where you got the information, thanks.

Depends on your state, but this is a good starting point

http://www.osha.gov/SLTC/teenworkers/employers.html

Q: question. whats the difference between saying

let's see if we can find a tree

and

let's see if we can't find a tree

Let's choose an answer first. (YES!)

Let's see if we can find a tree (YES! There is a tree)

Let's see if we can't find a tree (YES! There is no tree)

In one, you're looking for something and the other you're not looking for something.

But yeah, almost the same thing.

Q: I have always been so scared of needles. I have a mild blood condition so I've had to get blood taken a few times in my life. That and shots, I do not remember ever cooperating with the doctor getting it done. Today I had to get a booster shot at the doctor's, which I honestly didn't feel at all... but when I heard I had to get one I was freaking out inside. I hold in all my fear until I see the needle, then I am just completely overcome by fear and I burst into tears. I refused to get a shot today until my mom walked out of the room embarassed and I felt bad so I did it. When I get blood taken I stall with the nurses for as long as I can. It's not the pain that bothers me, but I just can't handle it. I don't think I was ever traumatized or I would remember it pretty clearly, correct? My mom always gets mad at me and says I embarass her when I do this, but I can't help it. Today she was angry at me and I didn't know what to tell her. How can I get over this, or at least explain this to her so she understands it, if I don't even understand it myself?

Same here, same way. I cry, scream and really tense up when a needle comes around.

In fact, my mom was also embarassed that I did that too. I stopped taking her with me and made her wait in the hall.

I did start to bring a small stuff animal and my mp3 player with me so I wouldn't be so intent over the poking, silver thing squirting or taking something from me.

You're not overcome by fear if you still let them do it, though. Just nervous and scared (and that's perfectly okay...)

The nurses know me by now and usually give me tissues, a cartoon bandaid and a lollipop. It always makes me feel better.

Q: 23 Male

I got a phone call tonight. Old friend I used to talk to a few years ago. He wanted to talk to me about a friend he has; in particular, his own girlfriend. I like to help out my friends, so I said I would help.

He mentions a name to me. It rings a bell, because it happens to be the same name of my girlfriend, but I don't tell him that. A few minutes into the conversation I find out it is the same exact person we are talking about. I keep my big mouth shut.

They've been dating for a few months. I feel a deep hurt on the inside: we've been dating a few years. I find out the problem he is having and do the best I can to help him as a friend. I act as if I know her just as a friend and nothing more. This leads him to tell me more and more about them. I'm not reeling it out of him, he's just letting it all out. Should I confront her about this? She avoids the topic when I ask about him and my friend asks about their future. What is going on here, why does she avoid things, and do I need to tell her and possibly break things off?

She avoids things because she thinks she can get away with it.

Don't let her. What she is doing is cheat and being completely unfair to you and the other guy.

I would first talk to her, let her know that you don't appreciate this type of relationship and you need to take some personal space.

I would also let your friend know that she has also been cheating with him too.

Q: I want to buy some more clothes. Can anyone tell me the name of a website that sells really cute (and cheap) clothes (price isnt as important though). All of my clothes are Abercrombie, and i really want some new clothes because everyone has the same abercrombie clothes.

THanks so much!!

Cheap.

http://www.the15dollarstore.com

Q: My mom is like addicted to alcohol. Every weekend, when she is off work, she has like a 12-pack of beer. Some times less; some times more. Even when she is working, on occasion she'll sneak in a few beers before work or after. And she never finds the time to spend time with the family. She makes promises she'll skip a weekend, or a day at least, to do something "as a family" but she ends up getting drunk when she gets home from work on Friday. She breaks my heart so much when she makes promises, then breaks them. I do know alcoholism is [like] a disease that's hard to cure, but is there anything I can do to help her??

She knows the long-term side effects, like liver disease and other problems. She knows she has a problem, but she is always denying it. And there are times when she does gets drunk she gets violent. I CAN'T turn her in or anything, because then my dad would kill me. But just personally, what can I do to help her?

Thanks

My Dad is like that - a 24 pack in two days usually.

Talking does not help, the other parent does not help - it won't stop until the abuser knows its a problem and WANTS to change.

Things I did: I did talk to Mom and let her know that she gets drunk too much. I told her that if I found anything in the house, I will drain it and throw it away. She threatened to call the cops on me when I said that (which wouldn't work - throwing away drinks is not illegal), she threatened to kick me out (which she'll get in trouble. I was a minor at that time and she is ultimately responsible for me), she threatened not to cook/feed/clothe me (which, by then I was doing all that myself)

Eventually, there was no liqour in the house and she stayed out to drink instead.

When she does get violent - leave. Do not allow yourself in that situation. Call a friend, take a walk or goto the neighboors.

Q: ok well im a female im 5'6" and my weight is about 115.. does that make me underwieght or overweight or what? cuz personally i think im fat but my friends tell me im skinny i want to diet but im afraid i might become anerexic or somthing. Soo what do you think.
(sp?)

ToneTeen has a BMI calculator to see if you're under/healthy/over-weight. You are healthy. And healthy = Good.

Guess what? Most of us think we're fat. But have you really looked? Is it just one part of your body that makes you feel that way. (For me, it was my stomach...)

Be good. As long as you move and eat right - you are okay.

http://www.toneteen.com/tools/bmi.htm

Q: Ugh. I hate to talk about global warming and pollution and stuff, but... What is pollution like in colorado???

Google = friend

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=active&q=colorado+city+data+pollution

Q: I have been getting really bad anxiety lately, and its been keeping me from going to school. When I do go to school its like I'm just trying to get through it and get home...Its really bad, it makes it hard to do my work. I'm failing all my classes...I've never failed anything before. I'm a a-b student. But by the looks of it, I'm going to end up failing almost, if not all my classes. If I'm not there, I cant learn the stuff to do the papers and if I can't go...well then I'm screwed. I'm trying all I can to just squeek by but I don't see that happening with the percentages I have now.

My question is, if I fail my freshman year, will colleges not take me? I intend on doing online schooling next year and doing everything I can to catch up but...I'm really scared. I've always wanted to go to college and now its like...I'm ruining my life and its all going down the drain. So, will colleges not take me because of this?

It depends on the college.

You can use it to your advantage when they bring it up by saying "I knew I was having trouble that year and needed time to refresh to complete school successfully. I was able to do that by x, x, x"

Colleges will still accept you even if you fail your freshman year. Good Luck!

Q: So for my birthday I got a sewing machine, i'm happy because I wanted one! I know the basics of sewing like how to make pillows and how to thread the machine and stuff. But thats the bad part, I only know how to make pillows. My dad for part of my present also went out and got me all this stuff for making a pattern we bough in the rag shop. It's to make like this tote bag. I thought it was going to be really beginner friendly and all, but they say all this stuff in the instructions and when I looked at the papers it was so confusing it was like in another language. I feel bad because my parents spent all this money. How can I learn how to sew and do patterns??

If you goto the local craft store, they usually have a class to get you set up.

But also

http://www.getcrafty.com is a good website to check out too...

Q: This summer i am going on a school trip with all my friends. There is going to be a pool at the hotel we are staying at and we are very excited to be going swimming. The problem is is that a lot of guys are going and other girls and all the girls have boobs and they will be looking good in their bathing suits and the problem is is that i dont have any and i dont want all the guys to be looking and lauging at me. It is very embarrising and i dont want all of them to see my flat chest. I dont care if it is just girls but there is about 20 guys coming to and i know they will all be looking at my friends and i am very self concious about it. I am flat. I cant help it. i will be humiliated even if they dont laugh or look at me. Please help. thanks!

You're not the only one with this problem - I'm sure others are thinking the same thing.

Next, there are bathing suits that maximize what you do have - check them out.

But finally, guys just don't care. Seeing you in a bathsuit is still better than seeing you in your clothes. They'll still get excited.

Q: at school hers his rilly hot boy and i fancy hi but i dont know how to tell him.

Depending on your age, I bet a lot of kids don't tell him that he's hot. Be blunt, be honest and catch him off guard.

If you can manage, sit down next to him and just say "You're hot, just thought I should let you know" and walk away.

But if you can't do that, body language speaks wonders. Lean towards him when you're talking, smile a little, ask him questions about himself, etc...