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im only 14 and i want a kid
Well im only 14 as you can tell.
I want a baby because they are soo adoriable.
I have a boyfriend we have had protected sex a few times already.
And would do it again.
We have been together for 2 years.
I love him and he loves me.
He is 3 years older.
My parents know and have known his family our whole lives, blah blah blah blah blahh.
So i keep telling him how much i want one but like he says i know you do but i am not ready to be a father and think about how much it would hurt and we dont have enough money.
So i need someone to try and convince me not to want one.
Because you have no idea how badly i want one.
Please help :\
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you want one but are trying to not one try this:
~ You're only 14! A baby this early? Think of how hard it would be to take care of one at that age
~ You wanna hang out with your friends don't you? There'd be no time because you'd be taking are of your baby.
~ You'd have your boyfriend mad at you for having one because he's not ready & you need to respect that
~ You'd probably regret it. Having a baby, is quite painful from what I hear
~ You're going to make a lot of mistakes, don't let this be one of them
~ Think of the example you're being for your baby
~ You have to not be selfish. Everything you do has to be for that baby! You have to REALLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Now, you can't honestly tell me who you REALLY are, can you?
~ You'll fall in love with someone else one day. He's probably not Mr. Right. Nobody will meet their Mr. Right at that age
Sorry if I came off a little rude, but I don't want you to make a decision you'll regret in the future.
Good luck
<33
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OMG. I was in the same situation as you. I'm fourteen and my boyfriend is 17. We think about how AMAZING having a child would be, and stuff, but really it isn't anything amazing at our age. Money, school, everything will change. Him and I even added everything we'd need (money wise.) and the cost is SO MUCH. I know you want one now, and I did before too, but believe me it's not something you're ready for yet. Imagine having a baby and it not being able to have a good life, because you don't have enough money. Yeah, that sucks. ]: I'm sorry though. But think twice.
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You should know that a baby is a HUGE responsibility. It is also painful, and costly. If you can't convince yourself that you don't want a baby, then think about the baby. Do you really want it to grow up with a mother that is young enough to be his/her sister, and without enough money to get by? Wait until you're older, for the baby's sake, your boyfriend's sake, and for yours.
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Babies are cute and adorable - and eventually I want one too.
But guess what, they are a lot of work.
Can you financially afford the baby?
Do you have your own health insurance?
Would you be able to finish school successfully?
Are you emotionally stable enough to take care of another child?
It gets old and boring and tedious caring for your own kid 24/7. You get the 3 am feedings, the sickness and you won't like it.
Get your baby fix another way - work at the YMCA or volunteer at the hospital.
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think about the fact that everytime you walk down the street, people will look at you in disgust at the fact a 14 yr old has a child of their own at such a young age. Your not going to be able to live a sociable life when you have a child. Friends tend to lose interest when there's a kid involved. If your thin now, you will gain weight and you may not be able to lose it again. Think about the fact that your boyfriend is not ready and that you will risk losing him altogether if you go against his wishes. You will be taking away his freedom. If you love him as you say you do, then put him first. You rchild will grow up and eventually it will work out that you were just a kid yourself when you had him/her. They will be very embarrassed compared to the age of their friend's parents.
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babe, as much as you think you want a kid. maybe you should rethink this. thoroughly. you are still just a baby yourself. and as adorable as babies are, it's hard. way hard. i can't say i know first hand, but i do have friends who had a baby at your age. not saying they regret it, but they do admit that it was hard. very hard. if you have a baby, you will need a job. and what about school? you can't give up things that you need for something you want. just wait, it would most likely work out better for you
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Oh yes, babies are cute.
however, once you have one, your life is over.
everything you do will have to revolve around your kid.
you will have to feed the baby, bathe the baby, take the baby to the doctor when he/she is sick, watch the baby constantly, and make him/her happy 24/7.
you will have no more time for anyone or anything else.
no more shopping sprees at the mall, no more going to the movies with friends, because you will need all the money you have for taking care of your kid.
also there's school. you'd basically be done with it. and without a good education, neither of you will be able to hold a job that pays enough for you to be able to raise a child and keep yourselves alive.
oh and babies don't stay babies forever.
chances are if you have a kid now, he/she will grow up with totally screwed up lives seeing as they more then likely won't get the care they need.
but if you want to deal with all that by all means, have a baby. after all when you can finally get one to be smiling and laughing, they are quite adorable.
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Why do you want to have children? Because they're cute? Is that your only reason?
If it is... I'm sorry if I sound harsh... But that's a poor reason. Yeah... They may look cute, but let me ask you... How cute is a baby going to look when it's wailing at three o'clock in the morning? And you're tired, you just want to sleep... But you can't because your kid is YOUR responsibility... And you have to wake up and go to school in three hours.
Because that is exactly how it would go. There are many reasons why you shouldn't have children right now. The first reason is, you are not emotionally prepared to raise another individual. You aren't mature enough. I'm not talking down to you, I don't consider myself mature enough either, it's just a fact. Need proof... You aren't mature enough because you haven't really thought about this at all.
Besides the fact that you can not provide the emotional support necessary to bring up a child... You are financially incapable of doing so at the age of fourteen. You don't have a job. Unless you go out and get a labour license, no one is legally even able to hire you. And even if you did have a job, what about school? Are you intending to drop out? Because you would have to just to make ends meet. And since you don't even have a high school education, finding a job that pays well will be impossible. And it will continue to be impossible, even when you get older, because you still won't have a high school education. So... If you have a child now, you're killing your chances of having a comfortable future. You'll spend the rest of your life struggling to put food on the table.
Oh wait... Did you except your boyfriend to help you? Why? Because he loves you? I'm not saying that he doesn't love you... But what I am saying is that I've known plenty of women who had children, later fell out of love, and who are now single mothers. Being a single parent is the hardest job. You can never clock out, and you don't get paid for it. Thinking that it won't be a problem because he'll be required to give you some money for child support? Wrong again. I also know plenty of single mothers who can't even pay for daycare with their child support check.
Besides... He obviously isn't ready to have children. (Maybe because he knows that he isn't emotionally or finacially prepared to yet.) He doesn't want to. Wouldn't allowing yourself to get pregnant at this point be disrespectful and inconsiderate of his feelings? Do you love him? Do you really want to make him feel that way?
Thinking that Mom and Dad will help you out? Yeah... They probably would. But that would be unfair, wouldn't it? I mean... They're still trying to raise they're own children, now they have to raise yours too? And the financial burden? Babies are really expensive. Is it fair to give them another mouth to feed when they had no say in the decision? No. Do you love your parents?
Have you thought about what your social life would be like? Because I can tell you in one word... Non-existant. You'd be far too busy babysitting to go the mall with your friends or do anything else for that matter. You can kiss date night goodbye... He'd be at work every night trying to earn enough money to pay for diapers and food... And you'd be sitting at home trying to get your little bundle of joy to go to sleep.
Do yourself a favor. Forget babies. For now. Wait. Wait until you're ready to have children. That means... Wait until you're married, and having children is a decision that both you and your husband have made together. Wait until you've finished school and have a decent job before you attempt to feed two mouths and pay rent. It will be easier, I assure you.
And lastly... If you had a kid right now... Not only would your life be more difficult than it has to be... (Not to mention your boyfriend's, your family, etc.) But you'd be making your little girl/ boy's life more difficult too. Kid's need parents who are mature. Without that maturity, their psyche tends to get scarred during childhood. Kid's need parents that can provide. Otherwise they can't go to the hospital when they're sick, or they have to wear sandals during the winter.
Please don't make life more difficult than it all ready is. Not for you... And not for anyone else.
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Even if you think you want one, once it comes, you won't. You're 14 and you're DEFINATELY not ready for the responsibilities, no matter how mature you are. When your friends are out partying and having fun and hanging out, you'll be at home with your baby. Will your parents support you? What if they kick you out of your house? Where would you go then? How would you make money? You're too young to get a job, and even when you're old enough, who's going to take care of your baby? Your boyfriend would have to drop his education, not go to college, find a job that will probably not pay well, just to support the two of you. How will you feed and clothe the child? Also, what would you do about school? You can't go to school when you're almost due, or when your child is first born. Sure, you might go back to school to get your diploma, but you might not. You might end up getting a job at McDonalds just to feed your baby, and you won't have time to go back to school. You'll miss out on a LOT. Also, your body will have dramatic affects, most of them bad.
Heres an interview with a teen mom:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Maybe it would work out, some teen mothers are lucky to have the support of friends and family, but some of them aren't. Like you said, I'm just trying to convince you not to have a child, so sorry if I offended you. Don't get me wrong, babies are a wonderful gift, but only when you're old enough and ready.<3
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Hi,
Here are some ideas:
1) adopt. there's possibly a way or two for you to adopt a baby
2) babysit some babies for your neighbors
3) work at a daycare center part time wen ur off of skool and save that money for wen u DO have a child
babies are lots of work, you have to get up in the middle of the night, and change them, and when you're pregnant with him/her you'll be throwing up a lot...and you're SO young.
Hope I've been helpful!
---------------> animalover658
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sweety.....
1) your 14 and you've had sex w. a boy whose 3 years older then you.. that is already statutory rape..
2) what would your parents think if you got pregnant?
3) how are you going to take care of the baby & go to school?
4) you have your whole life ahead of you! why would you want to ruin your life and your families lifes?
5) having a child isn't something you can just say you want and not be completely and fully ready to take care of it and be a mother.
think about how your possible decisions effect not only you, but every1 around you!
trust me you aren't prepared for a child at 14!
<3 make the right decision
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