about

Hi I'm Derfel - & I'm Dannii, trust us 'coz you know what? We're always ....... ALWAYS right! Together we have a phenomenal amount of life experience, advice experience and 'drama management'!! What we haven't come across you could list on the back of a postage stamp (a small one). We'll talk about anything, don't mind getting personal and we genuinely care about YOU! We're hear to help and we're listening. Buy buy just now Derfel & Dannii xx




advice

i recently met this guy about 3 weeks ago and weve hung out and talked on the phone once about 4 times n im pretti sure he likes me but im not totalli sure hes 19 and im 16 and hes mentioned sumthing b4 about him being older but he still hangs out with me n talks to me n stuff we went to the movies the other night and he like flirted with me n everything n bought my ticket but he didnt hold my hand or anything and wen he dropped me off at my house he was just like well ill talk to u online or sumthing n then hes like well if ur on and im like yeah bye i was just wondering if u thin he likes me or not

Well he certainly likes you as a friend, a good friend - if he likes you as anything more, theirs only one way to find out. If you want my honest opinion I get the feeling he does! Perhaps he's worried about the age gap and thinks you'll find him too old. Or perhaps he's just like you and not sure how you feel. If you like him - you make the first more. Sometimes in life you've got to follow your instinct and take the chance.
Good luck
Buy for now
Derfel
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Ok i dont no what to do i have this guy friend that has been my friend for over 2 years and i really like him alot more then just a friend but i no if i ever told him i like dhim then just a friend he would freak out and i dunno what he would do but i still want our friendship to be there and i feel if i tell him that i like him he wont talk to me or something

Hi darling,
I can appreciate how difficult the choice is. What I will say to you is - if you really like him as more than a friend and your really certain of that: go for it! Sometimes in live you've got to take the chance or you'll spend forever saying 'what if'.
Good Luck!
Buy buy just now
Derfel
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WELL I have sex quite often without protection to my fiance and i think i may be pregnant.....or had a miscarrige!
i have been getting really bad cramps in the morning and diarrea as well....my period is not expected till the 7th of the month(sept) and i got it in august so it would have had to been this month it happened! i went to the bathroom yesterday and i started bleeding i thought it was my period so i acted like it was however i only BLED a little and then it stopped . its only the 23 so thats like 2 weeks early!
could i be pregnant or could the cramps be a misscarrige??
PLEASE HELP THANKS!

You stupid individual, why the hell do you have unprotected sex. If you have unprotected sex your going to wind up pregnant, doesn't take a geniis to work out does it. You need to go to the doctors as soon as possible because your right theirs a good change you may be pregnant or as you say even had a miscarriage. I can not believe you can be so calm and blasé about this but I suppose we can't expect anything more from someone to lazy to use contraception and not enough self worth to choose a fiancé who will respect you enough to care. Some people are just not capable of living an adult life style - you are one of them.
Good day to you, you child.
Derfel

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I have a best friend named Amanda, and today at lunch at school she didn't say a word to me so I was like hmm o-well. So I just asked her on aol and here was our conversatoin...

me: Are you mad at me?
Amanda: No, why would I be mad at you?
me: you didn't say anything to me at lunch
Amanda: hmmm yea
me: yea?
Amanda: yea?

Then I told her I had to go...I didn't know what to say...is she mad at me ? What do I do?

Well I think she certainly has a problem of some kind. Weather she's angry with you or has another other worries who knows. Talk to her about it and ask what the problem is and why she didn't talk you at lunch. Make sure she knows you'll be their for her and she can trust you with any worries / difficulties she may have.
Derfel
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i just got my period and its gross and scary and its my first time help me.

Don't panic!- I know its easy for me to say but honestly you will get used to it. Its something every woman on the planet goes through, so its nothing to be embarrassed or worried about.
Derfel
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Ok.. I'm 18/f and my b/f of 2 and a half years moved to Georgia 5 weeks ago. He said he was doing it to ''grow up'' and to make sure his feelings for me were real. Well, he tells me he still loves me and wants to be with me, but when I try to get him to come back home..he won't. Do you think it's cause he is testing me, or because he wants me to leave him alone? Thanks!!

think he is being a Dick head! Sorry to be blunt but he's messing you about, you have to hang on for him while he fucks about shutting you out of his life. Its not fair on you. Its up to you if your going to put up his attitude or not but I would advise you give him a short, sharp shock and get rid of him. You deserve someone better.
Buy for now
Derfel
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me and my friends have a so called"friend" named jodi.weve known her for like half a year.at first she seemed cool.but then she got really annoying.she started acting like a bytch and only do what she would wanna do.so should we keep talking behind her baq and acing like were her friend.or confront her and tell her we dont wanna be her friend
13/f

Tell her what you think of her and how she's been acting. I am a great believer in honesty and whatever you think about her you should have the guts to say it to her face.
Derfel

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Hey im bisexual and me and my girl have been together for a year as of Aug 15th. Well she is REALLY good friends with my guy cousin Micheal. They went to middle school together and crap. Well she says shes in love with me..and i love her to death but theres one problem. My cousin likes her and she likes him. And it kinda hurts me because Im scared that one day im gonna loose her over him. I really love her. But i dont know what to do. I cry every night because it hurts to see him doing this to me. They flirt like crazy. And when she gets offline she writes him this long ass paragraph on how she loves him and shell miss him..bla bla but when she says bye to me all she says is i love you bye. Is it right? What do i do? PLEASE help me..
Ash

Hi Ash,
You want the blunt as a spoon truth? - sounds as if your probably right and you soon may have to face your ex and your cousin as an item. Theirs nothing you can do about it, if its meant to work out between you it will and if it isn't it won't. I'm not saying it'll be easy for you, I know how you'll feel but have the self respect to conduct your self in a dignified manor. I would suggest you confront your girl friend now, don't cause a seen - just explain how you feel and tell her if she wants your cousin to go ahead, if she's confused about what she wants to say so now. At least that way you'll know. Of course their is always the possibility that your over reacting, that their just good friends and that she's in love with you. Whether you act now or hide your head in the sand, sooner or later your going to find out.
Good Luck and god Bless
Derfel
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hey, i asked a question before about the whole tutor thing and not being sure about what people would say... i have another thing that brings me down. i just went to freshman orientation and everyone was looking at eachothers schedules and i learned that all of my friends are in honors classes and i'm the only one in CP classes. and i'm not exaggerating when i say all of my friends i do mean ALL of my friends. this might sound really consited and selfish but I'M the one that has the higher goals in life and I'M the one that wants to have a great future and they mostly just throw their lives away focusing on boys and partying. the majority of them just want to become like a hair dresser or something like that and i'm the only one that wants to do something great and that's goint to help people I'M the one that wants to be a doctor. why can't I have the good grades??? i'm the one that needs it! i want to be a doctor while all my other friends hardly even want to plan their future! i find this totaly unfair! i feel so stupid sometimes and i just want to sit and cry. what can i do to make myself feel better about all of this!?PLEASE help i rate high!

Hi,
The fact that you have ambition and want to go on to achieve is great. You have to realise however that this does not mean your entitled to good grades or 'its not fair' if you don't get them. Good grades are achieved by working hard for them. If you are honestly doing your very best and still not achieving their may be a specific reason why. A tutor and extra lessons could be extremely beneficial hear. If you did go down that route and it still didn't help - you may have to face a hard fact and ask your self the question: I'm I intelligent enough to do this. Wanting something is one thing - having what it takes in another.
Good Luck
Derfel
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what are some jobs you can get that are good paying without going to college?

Why are you to lazy or to stupid to go to college? And before you get annoyed - think about it because it must be one of the two!
Derfel

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A friend of mine has recently put on some extra weight, yet she continues to wear the same clothes that are obviously to small for her. While in her bathing suit she said she didn't understand why it was so small, and that it must have shrunk. I don't know if she realizes the truth or if she is in denial.

I am her good friend, should I tell her the truth of what I am thinking, and if so how do I do it without hurting her feelings?

Hi,
I understand you predicament but personally I would tell her. If you don't someone who will be far less sensitive may well do so. Try to be as gentle as possible BUT don't beat about the bush just come out and say it. If your friend chooses to tack offence and sulk theirs not much you can do but tell her you where not being unkind and told her because you are a friend. Its a risk you'll have to take.
Good Luck
Derfel
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ok well im 14 and a girl and ive been goin out w/ this boy for awhile now and i love him more than anything and hes so awesome and nice to me and cracks me up all the time!!!! but he has this friend logan that keeps talkin to me and like every1 knows he likes me and i like him but just as a friend!! just as a friend!!! hes so freakin halarious and is funny but sometimes he talks to me infront of my bf and i think my bf is startin to think i like logan more than him but i dont and i cant be mean and tell logan hey stop hangin out w/ me u kno!!! i mean i dont wanna make my boifriend mad at me cuz i like him more than any1 ever and then i also cant be mean to my friend logan wat the hell do i do im so confused this sucks!!!! plz help plz help!!!

Talk to your boyfriend and explain your just friends, ask if he has any worry's and address them. Your allowed to have as many male friends as you want and your boy friend has to Appreciate that. The foundation of any relationship must be trust - and if your relationship is going to work he has to trust what you tell him is true.
Good luck, buy for now
Derfel
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hey i downloaded some music from a website and i was just wondering how i can put that music on a blank CD if anyone knows how please tell me thanks

I hope you down loaded the music legally, that is that you paid for it from a reputable site. If not you are committing copyright theft, a very serious crime - its just as bad as going to a store and steeling a CD.
Derfel

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My sister always likes going swimming with me and my dad. I find it fun too! But the thing is she's been planning it since last Sunday for her me and my dad to go Swimming today. But when I went to the bathroom this morning, I found out that I have my period. So I told my mom that I couldn't go swimming. But then when we were driving home from Church today, my sister brought up the subject, and my mom said that I couldn't go. She kept on asking and asking why I couldn't go and we told her because I can't. So now she's really mad at me. She's only 9 and doesn't know about periods and stuff so she's really mad at me. I feel really bad. I wish she was a little older so that she could know. So now I feel really guilty. What should I do?

Hi,
Theirs no reason why you can't go swimming with a period, its a myth.
Derfel

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ok this is the same person who wrote the question about how i dont know how to tell my mom i have a boyfriend.....well she caught us together.(we werent doin nething but we sat close)...well i went for a walk and he met up wit me so we made out then sat next to each otha watchin the sun set...when my mom pulls up and asked me if i was ok and asked who was that kid sittin next to me....i told her he'd fallen off his bike and was hurt so i just sat and talked to him......she gave him a ride home but still didnt think of me likin him........now i definatly cant tell her bc now shes gonna think i go for walks everyday just to see him....now how do i tell her that i have a boyfriend?

Hi,
Oh dear who's been telling lies? -YOU. Do you not realise when you post your question the date AND TIME you posted it appear. Now the first question was posted at 1.12PM and the second at 1.38PM and you might have and time to leave your computer, take a walk, meet with your boy friend, make out with him, meet your mom, give your boy friend a lift home and return to your computer to write question all in 26 minuets BUT you certainly could NOT sat and watched the son go down between those two times in the middle of the afternoon. So come on lets hear your explanation, your excuses. I can't understand why you would lie about something like that unless of course your just desperate to have a boy friend and DON'T.
Derfel

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yesterday i told *him* i liked him. after i was finished talking, *he* said "cool." then nothing happened, and i had to go to the bus. ok, yeah, so my question to you is...how, on monday, can i bring this up again with him without sounding awkward/pathetic/desperate. he's my friend, i have lunch with him, and he rides my bus, if that helps.

Hi,
Don't worry about how it sounds just bring it up and ask him for a date. If he said "cool" when you'd finished telling him how you felt, I think that's a pretty definite indication that he likes you too. Just go for it....
Good luck
Buy for now
Derfel
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My x still likes me and i like him bac but the thing is my parents are like " Your not that serous in relation ships" I know i am and i dont know how to prove it to them?? Can any1 tell ma how ta cuz i love this guy to death

Hi,
For some reason some people (especially parents) seem to think theirs an age limit on falling in love. You know differently. Unfortunately you can't really prove anything to you parents in the short term so the best thing you can do is just ignore their unhelpful comments and concentrate on your relationship. That fact that you may have 'serious' relationships is a sign that your growing up and parents don't like to think of their 'precious little children' growing up, but its a fact they inevitably have to accept.
Good luck and all the best for the future
Derfel
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im nervous about having sex, im still a virgin. i think im ready but im a little insecure about my body, its almost fully developed. im worried the guy im goin to do it with is gunna look at me naked nd is gunna be like eww her body is gross, im not fat, i just dont know what he will think. (he's much more experienced than i am) gurls nd guys please help me out:)
i rate well!

Hi darling,
Its only natural to be nervous before your first time but how you're feeling is a little more than that. You need to discuss this fully with your boy friend and explain your fears to him well before 'the event'. Take the relationship slowly and experiment with for play etc. Before sex comes in to it. If your still feeling this way, ask him if you can just show him your body. I know this sounds very odd but once you know he's seen you naked and every thing is fine it'll take the pressure off when the sex comes so you can just enjoy it.
Bye bye just now
Derfel
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OMG!! I really can't take this anymore! Ok well all my friends and all are like you changed blah blah!! ANd i dont get the bigg deal it not like they havent changed either! Just cuz im turnin a lil Skater !!! I dont get the big deal and im really sick and tired of it .. what should i do and i tried talkin 2 them but it doesnt work at all !! Please Help me !! I dont kno what i wanna do and i feel like ______
Signed
FED UP!

Hi there,
Your friend have got to realise both your fashion and life style are your choice and its not fair for them to keep making these comments - BUT it would also be helpful for you to realise why their doing it. Your their friend and they liked you as you where, this change has come as a shock to them and they probably confusing a fashion change with a personality one. You say you've tried taking to your friends and that didn't work - well, to be blunt with you your going to have to try again because theirs really little else you can do. Keep it blunt and to the point: "look I have not changed, this is just a fashion, I'm still me and the way your acting is really upsetting and confusing me - do you still want to be friends now I'm a skater because I don't know what to think." If you put it like that they can't exactly not give you a straight answer. You'll more than likely find their upset they made you feel this way as it certainly won't have been their intention I'm sure.
Good luck, you can sort this and remember, experiences like this are just part and parcel of growing up so don't panic!
Derfel
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Hi Derfel. I am a 16 year old girl. I need your help with something, being as though you're a guy. I go to a girls school, so it's hard to meet guys. Don't have my licence, so it's hard to get anywhere. I am very pretty, a little overweight, and really want a boyfriend. It seems if I'm out in public, boys want nothing to do with me and I don't understand why. I am a little shy, but I would think a guy could come right up to a girl. How can I get a guy to talk to me, and why don't they ever talk to me? Thanks.

Hi darling,
The first thing I'll say to you is don't panic that theirs something wrong with you because that's not true. If you say your a little shy that's more than likely the problem. It doesn't always follow that someone who likes you will come up and start chatting, especially since you don't often get the chance to mix with boys. You make the first move. I know that may sound terrifying and it probably will be for you but if you just take a deep breath and force your self to do it, it'll get easier and easier each time as your confidence grows. A technique to help with the confidence (apparently this does work - according to my ante, she's a physiologist): its very simple, just tell your self your confidant, every day - look in the mirror or when you get up or before a difficult situation just tell your self your a really confidant person and imagine your self being like that. Eventually you'll come to believe it and that's when you'll act it.
Derfel

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