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I've been away for a while due to a serious illness and subsequent health issues. Favourite quotes of the moment:
The children of Israel wandered the desert for 40 years - Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions!
Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. whatever we do to the thread, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. - Chief Seattle.
We spend the first 12 months of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up!
As you slide down the bannisters of life, may the splinters never be pointing the wrong way.
May you be in Heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
I've been very happily married since August 1980 to a wonderful man and have beautiful twin girls, now aged 31. Both are married to wonderful young men and one of our girls has recently made us grandparents to a beautiful, smart and feisty granddaughter. I studied geology with the Open University. I am retired from being a manager in a large UK based insurance company which I actually quite enjoyed. (How sad is that?). I love anything to do with the environment and wildlife and try to do my bit for preservation and conservation. I would like there to be a decent world for our grandchildren to inherit. I also have CFS so find life a bit of a challenge at times but always hope for better health in the future.
I have a deep interest in the spiritual and the paranormal worlds, having experienced several incidents myself, and have been involved in meditation groups and groups that (safely) explore the paranormal. There is more to this life than we would normally credit, so an open mind is always the best option. You're not so likely to get caught by surprise!
I have a deep fascination for anything to do with Ancient Egypt, as you can probably tell by my name. I have statues and paintings all around the house. As my hubby has a similar interest in Native Americans, we tend to have a lot of unusual wall decorations, like a tomahawk.
I love cars, especially vintage ones, but my all time favourite has to be the Bugatti Chiron, what a car!
I have had a lot to do with animals over the years. I have fostered many, helped to set up a wildlife charitable hospital and raised a diverse range of young animals from bats to fox cubs and different species of birds, even a baby deer! I have had great pleasure in sharing my life and home with a number of animals over the years, most of them rescues. I am currently sponsoring an Amur Tiger, they are such beautiful cats and desperately need help, there are so few of them left. I was lucky enough a couple of years ago to meet some Aye-Aye's and Livingstone's Bats, a truly wonderful experience. We now have three cats, Oliver and Mollie, a brother and sister, he's a ginger and she's a tortoiseshell and a black and white called Daisy. She arrived in a taxi and was left on our doorstep in a cat carrier with the message that 'they knew we loved cats and would be good to her'. She has settled down well and gets on wonderfully with the other two.
If you have a pet that is showing ANY signs of illness or distress, please, please, please take it to a vet! Even if finance is an issue, work that out later. It is cruel to leave an animal suffering for any reason. Most animals do not show signs of illness until they have been ill for some time, basic instinct tells them it is a display of vulnerability, and certain death in the wild. Their instincts have not caught up with domesticity.
I do feel that we should all treat others as we would wish to be treated. Bad karma comes back to haunt us.
advice
ok so i dont eat i cant sleep my hairs falling out and i dunno whats going on...even the thought of food disguists me and i cant sleep i try but i cant i sleep at like 9 in the morning every day and now i touch my head and id find some hair come out its starting to scare me im not sure what i have ...ive been having a hard time lately and been goin through some kind of depression im not sure if thats part of it ..ok thx Biii!
It does sound as though it could be depression. It can cause all of these symptoms. However, you really should see your doctor just to check. There are other illnesses that can also cause everything listed.
If you do have an illness or even if it's depression, the doctor is the best person to sort it all out and get you back on track. Please make an appointment as soon as you can? Anything left undiagnosed can become worse and therefore, harder to cure.
hope that helps and the best of luck.
I have a diloacating knee cap its really gross i know i goes "out" when i run or kick or stand on one leg sometimes. I wear strong knee braces but this past weekend it did it while i was wearing them. My mom thinks i need to get surgury and so do i but we disagree when, she thinks it should be before soccer season so I don't injure it further, and i think i should do it after so I don't have to miss the season (I am a starting forward for varsity) When do you think would be the best time for me to get it?
Thanks
I guess you have to weigh up the possibility of any long term damage you may do if you do play this season.
Talk to your doctor and make a balanced decision without bringing in emotion. Emotional decisions are not always the most sensible as you will find it difficult to be rational.
You mother's primary concern is going to be your wellbeing, anything else will take second place.
What's the worst that could happen if you don't play this season? What's the worst thing that could happen if you do?
I don't think it's something anyone on this site will be able to tell you, you need to make the choice yourself after looking at all the contributing factors.
I hope that helps and wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.
well im overly jealous, like words couldnt explain. and i want to stop it. My boyfriend has tons of girls that are friends, and he talks to them and stuff, and i just dont want to be jealous any ideas on how to make that feeling go away? Because i know guys dont like it when they know a girl is a jealous person.
Jealousy using comes from a deeply rooted feeling of insecurity. eg. Do you feel he is too good for you? Has he had a lot of girlfriends? Do you feel the other girls are better than you? Have you had difficulties in your life that makes you feel he is likely to leave you?
There can be lots of reasons why a person feels insecure and jealous. If you don't know the reason, talk to your parents or another adult that has known you all or most of your life, see if there was an event that could have triggered these feelings.
Then talk to your boyfriend, tell him how you feel and that you want to overcome this, preferably with his help and support. If he is doing nothing to actively encourage this jealousy, (and if he is, you should question whether or not you should be with him anyway), he should be more than happy to help.
Mostly, it will be just getting your mind into a state where you can accept that other girls are not a threat and that the past should not be allowed to affect the present.
Hope that helps and the best of luck to you.
ok i know this sounds stupid and all, but ive been seeing a lot of questions lately on this site about something called budgies? what are budgies?
thanks &hearts
A budgie or budgerigar is a small Australian member of the parrot family. In the wild they are all green and smaller than the domestic birds. They live on vast plains and feed on seeding grasses. As they are so numerous they are not endangered and have taken well to domesticity in the 200 hundred years or so since they were first bred into captivity. They were 'discovered' by Captain Cook and their name comes from a rough translation of the Aboriginal for 'tasty snack', as they would throw a boomerang into the massive flocks to hunt them for food.
In captivity there are now over 100 different colour combinations and they are most popular in the UK, Germany and the US, where they are kept as pets or show birds. In the US the pets are often known as 'keets', and the show birds are known as 'English Budgerigars'.
They are good pets for older children and adults as they do not like to be handled regularly but they do like company, so usually it is best to have two. They are not so good for younger children due to the above and that they can peck if they are distressed.
Hope that gives you enough information to be going on with.
Well, I had a pretty bad cold a couple of days ago, and mum took me to the doctor. He didn't do a very thorough examination, checked my throat and my pulse and then said I had a "thready pulse" (whatever that means) He said it was a virus.
Well, the cold has mostly gone.. but now I have a really nasty cough. Like I'm coughing up phlegm (Gross, I know) and my voice is really hoarse. That's never happened to me before. I'm seriously almost losing it. Also, my throat is sore and I have NO energy. I NEVER EVER take naps, yet I've had 3 in the past few days. And I fell asleep in class.
When I went to the doctors, I didn't have the cough or the sore throat.
I've taken some cough mixture, which hasn't really helped although I've only just taken it today. I have some really important tests for school in a few days and I am so tired I can't even concentrate on work. What could possibly be wrong with me? What can I do about it? I'm thinking of seeing another doctor if it doesn't go away, but since he already told me its just a virus I don't know what to do. Please help. Thanks.
If the phlegm is yellow or green, (I know, yuk), you probably have a chest infection and should go back to the doctors for antibiotics. If it's still clear, it's probably still the virus so you just need to sit it out, antibiotics don't work for a virus.
Coughing a lot can make your throat sore and voice hoarse, it could also be a sign of tonsillitus, laryngitis or pharyngitis. All of which, again, will need antibiotics.
Viruses can let in infections, so if you didn't have it when you saw the doctor, it doesn't mean you don't have one now. I quite often get infections following a virus. He would have been going on the symptoms presented to him at the time.
Both will also make you feel really tired as your body is using most of its energy to fight it off.
When you are asleep, your body can recover faster, so the diverted energy combined with the healing power of sleep will make you doze off.
You really need to go back to your doctor and update him on what's happening and about how important these tests are. If you do now have an infection, antibiotics should clear it up in a few days.
A thready pulse is when it is not as strong as expected and slightly erratic, this can be caused by the body fighting off a virus or infection amongst other things.
Hope that helps and good luck with the tests.
Im getting Dizzy all the time and I dont know why Im not pregnant cause Ive not had sex but I am bout to die cause Im getting dizzy so much
You could have vertigo, it causes dizziness, sometimes nausea, headaches etc.
If it's been happening for a while and doesn't seem to be getting better, you should see a doctor. There are various causes for it, and therefore, different cures.
You are not going to die but it is a very unpleasant sensation. The sooner you see a doctor, the sooner you stand a chance of getting rid of it.
Hope that helps, and good luck.
Does anyone know of any good online game sites for when you're bored??? *other than miniclip*
thanks!
You could try this one -
http://www.shockwave.com/home.jsp
I'm addicted to cubis.
After my boyfriend fingers me, he says his fingers smell like fish for hours afterwards. Is this normal? How can i get it to not smell down there?
If you have a fishy smell, it's quite possible you have something called bacterial vaginosis, it is also sometimes called anaerobic vaginosis. It's an inbalance of bacteria in the vagina. It needs to be treated with antibiotics.
If you need more information I have included a website for you to look at.
Good luck.
http://www.embarrassingproblems.com/vulva4.htm
ok last night i woke up at about 3:30 because i heard a creaky noise and i flung up and went OMGSH!! i went to say you scared me to who i thought was my moms girlfriend and my dog but the person just turned around and looked at me like i was insane i stared at them as the faded into my door without opening it am i insane.. do i have some special power? this happened when i was like three.. i was in the bathroom potty training [ bear with me here ] && the door was open and all of the sudden a clown came out of the wall [ im not afraid of them ] and i screamed he looked at me and walked out the door and my uncle came running and looked at him or so i thought.. but i dont think he saw him .. whats wrong with me? am i just seeing this stuff and its not there do i have some power i dont know about im only 13 so it could get stronger
Spirits can be seen if you are open to them or have a sensitivity in that area. Young children are usually more able to see them as they are still quite closely connected to the spirit world and also have not developed the logic of age. This logic can quite easily dismiss sightings as illusions, shadows etc.
In theory, we all should be able to see them, but only a few of us do. You are not insane and there is nothing wrong with you, you are probably just more open to them. Also the age you are mean that puberty can attract them, so it is possible you may see more. If you do not want to see them, tell them firmly to go away.
As long as you do not feel threatened or go looking for them, you should be fine. There are ghost hunters, but they generally know what they are doing, and have a lot of experience in this field. It has been known for inexperienced ghost hunters to attract less well intentioned spirits.
There are various types of ghosts, the most common ones being imprint ghosts. These are ones that carry on the same routine they had when alive, and gradually fade over time, the 'grey lady' scenario.
Please do not use a ouija board, they can be very unpredictable in inexperienced hands.
Hope that helps and good luck.
I got this sunsilk shampoo and conditioner and this straighten up cream.
The brand is sunsilk. And i tihnk its new. Its in purple bottles.
I was wondering if anyone ever used it? did you like it? would you buy it again?Did it work? anything i should know?
Thanks
I love sunsilk, I use the purple as I have curly hair, which tends to frizz and I like it to be straight. It works brilliantly. It's in great condition and the straighten up cream works like a dream. With the cream you just need to be careful not to use too much at a time, as you don't wash it out and it can make your hair feel a little sticky. A little goes a long way. Try smaller amounts until it feels right, it's easier to put on than to take off! Other than that small point, it's great stuff.
Hope that helps.
both mints and chocolate make me sneeze after i eat them! what is a big ingredient in both of them that i could be allergic to?
Mints and Chocolate are just two of the things that are well known for triggering the sneeze factor. Unfortunately, no one is clear yet as to the reason. However, it does not seem to be due to the content of either. There is a huge range of things that cause people to sneeze, sunlight being one of them.
I would doubt that it is an allergy, as the symptoms would be a lot worse, swelling of the mouth and throat, a rash etc. If you can cope with the sneezing, go ahead and enjoy them.
Hope that helps.
my lips are so small and so is my mouth and kinda my teeth! lol and well im 16/f and i hate my smile because my lips are small and my mouth which makes my smile really ugly and like really unopen if you know what i mean?! is there anything i can do to make my lips look any bigger without having to put like loads of lisptick or lipliner on because i dont wear any of that just lipgloss!
Try Lip Venom by Du Wop. It's supposed to be really effective.
Good luck.
How do i make my cat stop pooping so much?
If it's normal poo, there's not a lot you can do about it. Cats are by nature predators, so they eliminate all waste products from their systems on a regular basis so that they are more able to run fast to catch their prey.
If it's not normal, eg, wrong colour, too loose, too hard, you may need to take the cat to the vets if it's been going on for a long time, as there could be a health issue.
Hope that helps and good luck.
ok i have known this guy pretty much all of my life and i have liked pretty much all my life only prob is now are parents are married. i was wondering if we did nething would it be insest. i dont think so because we dont have any of the same parents and no same blood in us. so is it?
It would not be classed as incest as you are not blood related. Unless you belong to a culture that does not approve of any romantic involvement between relations of any kind, I cannot see any reason why you should not go for it.
Hope that helps and good luck.
Hi - I picked up on your column, recognising a fellow Brit and also someone I don't think will be too hard on me; I'm open to the idea that my problems are pathetic and self-inflicted, but would rather not hear it right now. I have a problem with negative thinking and low self-esteem that I think colours my entire life, and is peaking now as I have finished my A-levels and my life is really beginning. I have always been involved with theatre and acting, and it has taken me through personality changes that I now consider a gradual downward spiral, mentally. At first, I was a happy, confident and energetic girl who was attracted to the glamour and image of the theatre and cinema, and as I started to audition for and win more and more leading roles it came to my attention that I must be pretty good. This continued into my teenage years, peaking at around fifteen when I was the lead role in a school production and had a follow-up article printed in 'The Stage' - I was elated to think that I was achieving what I thought was my dream. From then on, however, I began to become extremely insecure. My main friendship broke apart - (it had been destructive anyway) - and I started to isolate myself and lose contact with people. Around the same time I attended a National Youth Theatre course, which floored me as a person and left me a mess of insecurity and doubt. I don't think this ever went away. I started feeling sorry for myself and thinking big thoughts about my psyche - but I really don't think this has been the main contributor to the lethargic, depressed, negative and insecure state I am now in; though I do think about my own personality, I am also constantly looking at other people and comparing myself with them, envying their happiness and energy. I am still forcing myself into acting, possibly in the vain hope that some old fire of excitement and ambition will be rekindled and I will become the solid, happy, self-assured person I used to be. But every rehearsal is a chore; my heart sinks and I want to run away when I have to play 'drama games' as I find them terrifying, and I want to crumple on the foor when I watch the other actors performing openly, smoothly, enjoying it and enjoying working together and exploring interpretations, joking. I feel like an emotional cripple and can hardly believe I have changed so much. No one who knew me as a child could have imagined I would be such a teenager. I wish it could be put under the 'hormones' label - how reassuring that would be - but I know it is a deeper problem in me. I know that the annually repeated 'you need to have more faith in yourself' I used to get every parent's evening is true and is a major factor in the way I hold myself back and seem to have destroyed myself from the inside. I'm not sure what I want to hear, perhaps I just wanted to write this all out. I have a boyfriend and it causes so many problems; he is an actor and has a part in the play I'm in right now, so he has become an object of jealousy and hatred and frustration that I am really directing at myself but find hard to deal with. I resent his talent and the joy he gets from it, I resent myself for ruining everything, I resent National Youth Theatre for getting up my hopes then crushing me, and all the time I am too tired, lonely, sad, lost, to resent. I think of finding something new as a hobby ('hobby' is such an inadequate word for something that really can affect your life to such a degree) but letting go of drama would mean letting go of the one thing my stupid head still imagines could lift me out of this and give me status and make people like me. It all sounds so small and trivial when written, but drama is just one example of the way things have just headed downwards for me in the last few years, and I think the actualy problem is the way I think and feel, which is just embodied by my relationship with drama. I make myself very unhappy. Please reply, I don't know what I want, I don't know if advice is what I'm after, I would just love another person's reaction as there is no one else I could tell all this to.
I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling and thank you for trusting me to help. I in no way feel that your problems are pathetic and self inflicted.
The trouble is, the career you have chosen is one of the worst for knocking self esteem. I have a daughter who is an aspiring actress and she can get down at times over this. Directors chose people not always just for how they act but for how they see the person fitting their vision of the role. My daughter says it helps her to remember that, when being rejected for a role, she probably just didn't have the right colour hair, eyes, shape etc.
Theatre schools seem to have a strategy of knocking people down and building them up again, (a bit like the army). It can be very tough to accept this and not take it personally.
Do you feel perhaps, that acting has become a way of validating you as a person? It can be a very powerful feeling, standing on stage and being applauded by people who don't know you. It is more powerful to be rejected and harder to take.
Actors are, generally, very insecure people, they quite often go into acting as a way either of trying to be someone else, as they are not happy being themselves, or to try to win the approval they felt was missing from their lives.
It now sounds as though you have got into a vicious cycle of self doubt which is needing validation, which only comes if you put yourself into the position that gave you the self doubt to start with.
If you love drama and can't see a way to leave it but, at the same time, feel it is destroying you as a person, why not teach it? Maybe in a young peoples theatre group? In this way, you should be able to regain the confidence you used to have, you would have some control over your life again, and you would be doing some good. Helping possible stars of the future realise their dreams, whilst encouraging them to accept the harsh reality of an actors life, would also give your life meaning.
If you do this and start to become the 'old' you again, maybe with new found confidence, you could try again, if that is what you really want to do.
In your current state, it is not hard to see that you would resent your boyfriend, as he is epitomising everything you want to be. It is also quite normal to feel resentment to the National Theatre if they did not fulfill your hopes. Try to remember things they said to you, try to put a constructive twist on them, and make those comments work for you not against you. Easy to say, really hard to do, I know.
Maybe talking things over with a councillor could help if there are deeper issues here?
I'm quite sure you are a very talented young lady, you have love and a deep compassion within you. It would be a huge shame if this problem continued to affect your life. You have taken the first step by admitting you have a problem. I do hope you are able to seek the help you need to resolve.
I wish you the best of luck, and if you need to talk again, please feel free to come back to me.
What books changed your outlook on life?
The Celestine Prophecy and it's sequels by James Redfield.
my boyfriend is a cousin ov mine.we have been together for one year and are mad about each other.just lately we have been arguing alot and he has started to get paranoid about us been seen together. im really scared of losing him. does he love me or not?
Firstly, in reply to the answer below, my parents are first cousins, and I do not in any way consider myself to be mentally challenged! They have been married for 51 years and are very happy together.
I do feel that your current problems have absolutely nothing to do with any other type of relationship between you. Yes, he probably does love you and something has made him scared of losing you. Maybe someone has said something to him, possibly about the cousin thing. If you have started arguing and you didn't before, one or both of you may have unresolved issues that you need to deal with asap. Try to arrange a date which cannot be interrupted by anyone and gives you a real chance to talk. Find out what is bothering him and then try to resolve it.
If it is something you are able to deal with together, go for it.
Just ensure that if the two of you decide to separate, it is because you both feel it is the right thing for you and not because of anything that other people are thinking/saying. It is your lives, no one elses.
I hope it works out for you and the best of luck.
what exactly is kinesiology? and what are some careers associated with it?
Kinesiology is a complimentary system of rebalancing the bodys energy system, using muscle testing to identify problem areas.
Light pressure is applied and the response is monitored. Once the areas under stress are identified, gentle pressure is used to bring the body back into alignment. Other methods used are flower remedies, magnets and homeopathy. No two treatments are the same, because the patients are treated as individuals. It addresses physical and psychological problems and is being increasingly recognised as a powerful healing system by members of the medical world.
Many health workers now use kinesiology in their work but it is possible to become a qualified practitioner without any other medical training.
As it is still a growing practice, there are more people wanting treatment than there practitioners. If you google it, you should be able to find a course in/near your area.
Hope that helps and good luck.
My dog just got put down. I miss her so much, how do I learn to forget about her?
I am so sorry for your loss, it's so hard to cope with a situation like this, and it hurts so much. Please don't try to forget her, that would be dismissing the fact that she existed and the love you had for her. Instead, try to celebrate her life and the good times you shared. Make a collage, scrap book or photo album of all your memories, so that in years to come, you can look back and smile.
It will make you sad, maybe cry to do this, but tears are a release, and to be expected. You will probably never 'get over' this, but you should come to terms with it. It's a sad fact that the animals we love so much, have such a short life span compared to us. The best we can do is to make the most of them whilst they are with us and to make enough good memories to last for our lifetime.
Maybe, in time, you will be able to share that capacity for love that you have with another animal, it would be such a shame to waste it, and there is a huge number animals that do not have the luxury of a loving home.
I hope that helps and wish you all the best.
Well my dad died a few years back, and my mom has been depressed and lonely ever since. She tells me all the time that it's hopeless for her to find a single guy her age anymore (45, but she doesn't near look it). Just last night she said to me, 'Honey, I'm lonely,'. And it broke my heart, because she loved my dad, but she hasn't found anyone. She has tried online dating and that wasn't her thing. What are some of your ideas for my mom to meet men? Thank you so much for your help!
Your mum needs to get out into the world again if she wants to meet new people, male or female.
If she doesn't want to or can't work, how about volunteering for a favourite charity? This way, it gives her something positive to do and to think about, it will give her a feeling satisfaction to know she is making a difference, and she could also meet like minded people, possibly male, at the same time. She could fit the hours into whatever else she has to do and doing something for others should give her more confidence, in turn improving her chances of accepting another man into her life when she feels ready.
This is also not so 'up front' as online dating. See what she thinks, it's worth a try.
I do hope she is able to find to find a new purpose in life and a new love, it is truly awful to lose someone you love. I wish you both the very best of luck.