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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
My best friend just became really close to this girl named Briana. Briana's really fun to talk to, but I recently found out some bad stuff about her; she cheats on her boyfriends, backstabs all her close friends, and she smokes pot. She told me about the pot thing and even asked if I wanted to join her! I, of course, said no. I don't know how to tell my best friend, because she'll accuse me of lying because "Briana's so nice!" I'm just scared that Briana will get my friend into smoking and stuff. HELP.
You need to tell your friend about this still yet . If she is your best friend, she would understand your concern, and if she doesn't believe you tell, her to confront Briana and ask her about the boyfriend stealing, back stabbing, pot smoking . If you are really concerned then maybe you should consult an adult if she doesn't beleive you . Ask and discuss pot . You could be doing your friend a favor .
my boyfriend thinks my freinds are silly people but they are not
You need to tell your boyfriend that your friends are special to you and as much as he is important to you - let'em know that they are too . Tell hime why they are important to you and ,discuss how you feel about some of his friends that you put up with[that is if you put up with his friends] . Reverse the situation on him . I'm
always here at advicenators ask Courtney or Courtney @hwynet.com
All of my friends are really worried about me because I cut myself. My parents don't know I still cut, but they know that I used to. I'm addicted to hurting myself and I don't want to stop. Everyone wants to change me but I refuse to. How do I get everyone to stop trying to get me to change?
I know exactly how you feel because, everyone wants you to change and they all want you to be perfect . But the thing is that you aren't important . You have to tell anyone thats trying to change you that this is the real you, and let them know that you are not perfect . You are too
nice and you care too much about what others want
you to be and do . Some advice: what others always want you to be isn't always best for you .
So the question is , what do you want to do . It's good that you refuse to change your self for others . Never loose yourself for anyone . AND STOP CUTTING YOURSELF BEFORE YOU REALLY REALLY CAUSE YOURSELF A REALLY BAD INJURY .
Everyone says I am really rpetty, (if you wanna see me, then go to http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=winona1992
but Ive done everything to look different. When I have a new boyfriend, he only wants to have sex...help
(PLEEZ SEE MY COLUMN SO U CAN HELP ME MORE)
When you say you've done everything to look different , you do mean you've changed your personality . Well, I wouldn't of did this because, outside beauty is cool but inside beauty is very important . It tells people what type of
person you are . You also say you have a boyfriend who only wants SEX . Well, I also advise
you to drop this guy because, if your anything like me,I would want more out of a relationship basically based on sex . Try things this way . It'll make you feel resouceful and independent .
My friend thinks that she is addicted to smoking, but she has only been smoking for about a week. Could she really be addicted or is she being stupid!!?
I don't know if yor friend is really addicted or if she's really acting stupid, but you need to talk to her about smoking . I get tired of hearing people telling me not to smoke , but it can give you cancer . So talk to yah girl about smokin because, you could save your friend from a terrible fate which others have recieved . Peace and get back in touch .
I have a question regarding my ex-boyfriend...we broke up in December of 2001 abruptly after a horrendous visit to meet his parents (it was all just bad timing) he broke up with me because he felt our disagreements during our visit made a bad impression, thus he broke up with me on the plane...it was all very quick. We had only a very passionate 7 months together mind you. Yet, we had this awkward year and half afterward of not being together yet still feeling so much and having a sexual relationship. I really stopped being close with him around April of 2003. I graduated that year and have since moved. He has been emailing me every so often wanting to know what is up with me and how my life is. He is the type to always have a motive in doing something...why is he bothering?! Yet, most of me is over him..I am curious..and still heart broken. Should I avoid anything really personal when emailing..I dont want him to hurt me again, yet sometimes I wonder about the possibility...I am 24 female he is 23.
Thanks
I know you are curious , and to tell you the truth , I would be too . Normally, Ex's stay far
away from each other bacause,its awkward for them to . They also speak to each other , but not often . Maybe he wants to get back with you . Listen, he broke up with you because of your disagreements and he felt that it was a bad
impression . Well, why continue a relationship that's doomed to fail . Maybe when you are emailing him - you could keep it normal . Like how are you and what are you doing ? It's simple.
She's trapped inside her own world of sins
She can't get out, but she never wanted to get in
No one seems to notice, they just pass on by
Everyday she puts on her best smile, never wanting to start to cry
She's ashamed of everything she's ever put herself through
If she could only start over again, there's things she would not do
She never really wanted to be that kind of girl
But it was just so easy to fall into that world
Her world just keeps on falling down, around her like a thick cloud
She can't even see a thing, can't even hear a sound
Her skin crawls with angst, not knowing what to expect
She's afraid to open her eyes, afraid of what she might see next
She'd huddled in a corner, wrapping herself in her arms
Trying to block whatever it is that might put her in some harm
A single tear rolls down her cheek, the one she's tried so hard to block
She's tried to find the key, the one to open up the lock
She never wanted to be bad, but never wanted to be good
She doesn't know which way to go even though she should
The girl looks deep inside her own reflection, to see what she can find
But all she sees is false hope and deception, it's what she's trying to hide
But, you wonder, how I see all those things you can not see
It's a secret I've tried to hold dear, but that little girl is me
Never believe that you are trapped in your own world of sin . Look at it from my perspective: "If you built this world of sin, you can tear it down . I'm not saying it will be easy,but you have to try". Always believe in repentance,and never forget that God loves you no matter what you do . Have faith in God . It will help in the long run trust me . Also remember no one is perfect . Everyone screws up . So no one has the right to pass judgement on you .
I need help. I am going through a lot at this time of my age. My parents are at the edge of getting divorced, school is getting very difficult and the problem is my whole entire family is counting on me( i am have a extremely very big family).. I have my whole life planed out such as my carreers and the steps i will be taking. so much is going through my mind and i really need some to trust and talk to not only for a day. Any suggestions.
P.S. i have even bigger problems than this and i am only 13.
Yeah, I know how that can feel. My parents argue at times, but I find it easier to write my feelings down or to talk to someone I can really
trust. You feel like you have something to prove to your family, and you have your life planned out. Having your life planned is a great thing ,
but feeling that you have to prove yourself to your family is half good and bad . You want them to be proud,but your family should love you always. Whether you prove or don't prove yourself to them . Your parents may get a divorce . Don't get the feeling that this may be a bad thing . The divorce may make your parents life easier .
The question is, will it make your life better?
It may relieve some stress you have in your life .
I'm hungry. What should I eat?
If you are poor then you should try to find a homeless shelter to feed you . Lady Nell was kind of blunt, but obvious . This question to her should have been obvious though because , you wouldn't email a person about not having food unless you have food . How old are you? Well if your over 15, please GET A JOB . Im not trying to be harsh ,but thats the truth .
Hi my friend katie is a little over weight... but the thing is i dont think she realizes it and its not a big deal that she has a few extra pounds but its the clothes she wears. She wears really tiny mini skirts and tight shirts that do not flatter her at all. Everyone makes fun of her behind her back for it and she doesn't realize it how can i confront her about this without hurting her feelings, she is a really sensitive girl and she cares about what she looks like more than anything.. very superficial so i don't want to hurt her feelings, I think that it would hurt her ore if she heard what people said about her.. please help
Katie, tell your friendhow you feel, and do not
talkbehind her back . By telling your friend this, she will know that you care about her .
Tell her what others are saying before others
really hurt your friends feelings . I think she wouldn't mind the truth coming from you . It all
depends on the way you break it down to her .
Try to be understanding . Email me at Courtney@hwynet.com.By .
Hi, im 13 years old. I am a female. I am having a problem with a lot of girls in my school. 2 of my friends kept sayin the other one was saying things aboyut me.Ashley of them said that Paige was saying stuff about my mom. The Paige said it wasn't true. Paige that said it wasn't true is the Ashley's friend still. I told her if it isn't true then why would you still be her friend if she is lying and she said because she is not going to not be my friend just because she said something that wasn't true. Now i'm neither of there friends. Because they ae always telling me lies. and saying things behind my back. I don't know what to do. What should I do? Thanks for listening.
Female, Ashley and Paige are not real friends .
Friends would not say things behind your back,and they don't lie to you . Prove that you can stand
alone . If they do this once then, their going to
do it again . So, why waste a friendship thats
meant to fail . Friendships aren't based on lie's
and deciept . Its based on loyalty . ASK Courtney.
I have ran away and im typing this on a computer in a cafe in Oregon. (im from california) Im pretty fucked up right now, im 13, and ive been gone for 2 weeks. What the hell should i do? I was mad at the time i ran away and if i go back im fucked. I'm trying to reach canada... what should i do... should i go back or keep moving?
Please, your 13 years old. Go home . How will you
get a job? Where are you going to live ? You can't support yourself moneywise . I know you feel
you know what, but your life is hanging in the
balance . Explain to your parents why you ran
away . You ran away from home trying to run away
from your problems,but now you have big problems .
You should really go home . Canada's currency (money) is different from the U.S. Do you know
french or German language ? Well these languages
are spoken most oftenly in Canada . Rmember, U.S.=Democracy . Canada = Constitutional Monarchy.
Email me at Courtney@hwynet.com . By .
how can u tell if u hav deeper feelins 4 ur close friend and he may hav the same feelings as he flirts with u and says ur attractive etc.....
If your friend flirts with you, I think you should
ask him out . If he says you look attractive
definitly . Some people don't like to complicate
their relationships with their friends, but if
you feel the way you say, you might want to consider this . Ask him alone or away from others
though . Need any advice , go to Courtney@hwynet.com . By .
please will any girl that is 13 or less call me
p.s you must be hott
You sound desperate,and if you're 13, you really
shouldn't ruin your rep . You want a girl thats
hot , but girls don't like winers (like a baby
wines) . Girls like guys who are cute, nice, and
who has a nice sense of humor . If you want a date, I advise you to ask a girl out . Don't be
afraid of rejection . You can't escape it forever . I know how you feel . Trust your instincts .If in need of anymore advice, Courtney@hwynet.com . By .
hey im 20 and i need a girl friend anyone
Your quantities in a woman is for her to be sexy
and younger than you . I respect this , but this
may make your relationship more complicated . Try
finding what both of you like to do in a relationship . For example's, do you both like
sports and Books. This is important because,
this could make a long lasting, healthy relationship . You'll have chemistry and sex .
Need anymore advice, email at Courtney@hwynet.com
i few months ago i made a pact with my friends that we were going to leave because things were really bad but things are starting to get better but i dont want to break my pact, and i still want to go but i also think i should wait a little bit.....what should i do
No , you shoud stay . You are going to have to
learn that you can't run away from your problems.
I know how it feels . You feel like walls are
closing in on you , and you just want to escape .
Well, problems are apart of life,and you will face
them wherever you go in life . You can't run, and
you can't hide . You should wait until you feel
you (not your friends) can trust your instints .
This is very important . Remember, running away
never solves your problems . Well by . Email me
at Courtney@hwynet.com . By .
how do i get a girl to like me
Dear Somebody,
I know you want believe me when I tell
you this , but just be yourself . Girls do not
like guys who are stuck-up, and they do not like
guys who, think girls are stupid . I should know
this . Be yourself .
Courtney
I have a boyfriend that i love alot but he hits me.But he say he sorry and he won't do it again but he keeps doing it. He said if I leave him then he will kill me.I'm so scared that he's telling the truth .He's already put me in the hospital 2 times I don't know what to do.So I need help ASAP if anyone can help me please.My life is on the line!
Love Apple
Love apple,
Tell the policeman what your boyfriend does
to you . No man has the right to put there hand
on any woman, and its just wrong . Tell the police
that your life may be on the line . They will
protect you . Then break up with the abusive
boyfriend. If you still fill like your life is in
danger, go stay with a family member until the
authorities deal with him .
You can contact me any time .
Courtney .
My son is in 4th grade and was just suspended for being reported for what he said to a girl but denied it and he keep saying he didn't say to 4 teachers & then told me a story that I really thought was the truth because My son would never open his mouth to say that. I was going to see why he was the only one since I felt they made it up. I was asking him all the names on the way to his school then he said not to tell on his friends made me think why not so I told him if he said anything to her at all better say it now,before I look stupid in there and then he said yes he said it I couldn't believe this was my son that the next day still have not punished him. What should I do when I'm hurt & angry I can't even look at him because I want to just get the belt out and bet his ass.(sorry)but I know I would really hurt him so I need advice on teaching what he did was wrong and help teach him how to respect adults?
Your son lied to you like I lie to my parents .
First : Tell your son to stop lyeing to you
because, he can't keep it from you forever . He
may continue to lie to you though .
Second : Make him appologize for his actions
towards you and the girl.
Third : Tough love begins . Grounding for weeks .
I would ground him because, he took advantage of
your love . This means, he knew you were going to
come to his defense when he got in trouble . He
made you look like a fool . For this, I would
ground him because, he had a chance to tell you
the truth . I would then ground him for lieing
to me . I would allow no T.V.,phone,computer(
unless for information) while he is grounded .
Fourth : Every time he would lie to me I would
increase his weeks of grounding . I would let him
know this as well .
I have a boyfriend that i've been going out with for almost 3 months now, and he is slowly making him way to making me feel comfortable with him "sexualy". I love my boyfriend, and i would hate to lose him, and I want to but I was taught to wait until you have sex. What should I do?
Listen, whoever told you to wait was exceptionally
right . Having sex is a big step, and if your a
teenager(like me), your not ready . Your boyfriend
should understand the way you feel . He would
understand if he really loved you . Wait. If he
can't wait, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love
you . It means that he only wants one thing . Try
to find out more things about him . If you still
want to, then its up to you . If I were you, I
would wait .