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I have a question regarding my ex-boyfriend...we broke up in December of 2001 abruptly after a horrendous visit to meet his parents (it was all just bad timing) he broke up with me because he felt our disagreements during our visit made a bad impression, thus he broke up with me on the plane...it was all very quick. We had only a very passionate 7 months together mind you. Yet, we had this awkward year and half afterward of not being together yet still feeling so much and having a sexual relationship. I really stopped being close with him around April of 2003. I graduated that year and have since moved. He has been emailing me every so often wanting to know what is up with me and how my life is. He is the type to always have a motive in doing something...why is he bothering?! Yet, most of me is over him..I am curious..and still heart broken. Should I avoid anything really personal when emailing..I dont want him to hurt me again, yet sometimes I wonder about the possibility...I am 24 female he is 23.
Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You have all the right to be heart broken. It's not easy to stop liking/loving a person in a few seconds.
He broke up with you because he thought it didn't work out...so why go back? I find him a lonely pig. Not one couple will not have disagreements.
You two can still be friends, but don't go back to him if he can only play with your heart again and break it.
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I know you are curious , and to tell you the truth , I would be too . Normally, Ex's stay far
away from each other bacause,its awkward for them to . They also speak to each other , but not often . Maybe he wants to get back with you . Listen, he broke up with you because of your disagreements and he felt that it was a bad
impression . Well, why continue a relationship that's doomed to fail . Maybe when you are emailing him - you could keep it normal . Like how are you and what are you doing ? It's simple.
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I think you shouldn't ignore the possibility that this is an overture... nor should you ignore the possibility that this is him being an honourable and decent human being not wanting to drop you like a hot potato... I know from experience and have read people commenting on a rising trend of trying to stay friends after breakups. Some people think it's sweet, others think it's suckerhood for punishment. You'll want to sort out what you think it is, and what you'd be ready to precipitate.
I'd be open and communicative, it'll set a tone so you have some more information to go on, and through communication you'll have a better idea of how you feel.
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I think it is likely your relationship would always be the same, with disagreements, and not being close enough. If you want to continue the relationship, just be aware that you will probably be hurt again. You would probably be better off finding someone else.
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If you are really still heartbroken -- and you have every right to be, because it sounds like you've been through a lot -- then these emails are getting in the way of your healing. It's perfectly okay for you to tell him that you wish him well, but you're not ready for this kind of contact.
I totally get that you want to understand his motivation. My guess is that he's emailing you because he's lonely, and he's used to talking to you about stuff, and he wants to know what you're doing now -- beyond that, I couldn't say, but actually it's sort of beside the point. The point is, what kind of contact do YOU want from him? Do you just want him to give you some emotional space? Do you want a long-distance friendship? Do you want to get back together? (I could be wrong, but I don't think it's that last one. It sounds like you're having perfectly normal twinges of what-if about your ex, but that you realize that ultimately, he wasn't very good for you.)
Don't torture yourself by trying to figure out what's going on in his head. Figure out what's going on in yours, and do what you need to do to make yourself happy.
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try and still stay in contact with him as a friend since you have moved, its probably the fact that he still really likes you as more than a friend but doesnt know how to go about it without hurting your feelings, it looks like he that now that you have moved, that awkward sexual relationship has gone and he just doesnt want to lose you completely. if your emailing each other he wont be able to hurt you as much as if you were still kina seeing each other.
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