I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
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I have been casually seeing this guy for around a year now. For the first 6 months it was just a laugh like nothing serious but now we are getting quite serious like he tells me his feelings are soo strong for me and stuff. We're always out, tell each other everything and like plans for the future and stuff. But he is geniunely scared of relationships. He was in one for 2 years and he's still best friends with the girl but they constantly argue and stuff and he says he doens't want me and him to ruin what we've got by a relationship. He's never seen a steady one seen as his parents split up, he had been cheated on when he was younger and alot of his friends parents have split up. i think he has alot of trust issues.
Thing is i have really fallen for him, we've been through alot together and alothough we're not actually in a relationship he always txts me random things like "my feelings for you are so strong" or "your an amazing person and i'm so glad with where we are" Last night i told him i love him and he seemed a bit taken aback by it, he said that they are really strong words but i just said thats how i feel i'm not expecting you to say anything back, maybe i shouldn't have said anything, then he said he was glad i did and nothing will change between us.
Does it matter he didn't say it back?
What do you think of our whole situation of not been fully committed?
Sorry it's long (link)
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I think that as long as you are sleeping with him there's no need for him to make a commitment. Ever hear that saying "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" It is absolutely true. why would he want anything to change? He gets all the benefits of having an awesome girlfriend without having to contribute anything of himself or make any sacrifices in his personal life. He can enjoy having a "girlfriend" without having to have an official commitment, so he's still on the market and free to play the field. I'll bet my house he's sleeping with other women. You've made a mistake letting him use you for so long. If you want to test his feelings, stop sleeping with him. Seriously. You'll learn a lot about how he feels by his reaction. Maybe he'll realize how great your really are and decide to give you the comittment you want, or maybe you'll just stop hearing from you. Either way, you'll know where you stand. But you can't stay like this. You're giving but not getting. That's a surefire prescription for heartache.
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Hi. I am 19 years old and I've been pregnant 3 times now for sure. All three of these pregnancies were confirmed by store bought pregnancy tests AND doctor's appointments where they gave me pregnancy tests. I was for sure pregnant.
I smoke weed every day but, otherwise, take decently good care of myself, in my opinion. I've been smoking marijuana since I was like 14 years old. I don't want to stop smoking weed but I can't help but think that it has played a part in me losing 3 babies already. I suspect I am pregnant right now so I'm considering giving up the weed to see if I can carry the baby to term. Like I said though, I'd really like to keep smoking.
Do you think weed affects unborn babies? Will pot cause me to miscarry my baby? Did I miscarry my other babies because I smoked a lot of weed? Any answers pleeeeeease (link)
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I think the more important question is why have you had 3 pregnancies already at the age of 19? Are you trying to have a baby? If not, then you need to either stop having sex or use protection. If you are trying, then I think the very fact that you haven't been able to stop smoking weed every day is proof you are not ready to be a mother. Stop what your doing and re-evaluate what it is you want to do with your life. You've been smoking since you were 14. That indicates to me that you've been dealing with some pretty heavy trauma in your life. That probably has more to do with your miscarriages than the weed. The weed is a symptom. You need to ask yourself what it is you're trying to escape from by smoking all the time. Then you need to go get help to fix that problem. Until then, leave the baby-making alone. You have a bigger problem than you realize.
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This guy I use to be with on and off started to IM me again and wants to catch up well I think he might want to be friends and the thing is I want to be his girlfriend I've been waiting for him to be mine being on and off isn't good enough I want him to stay and not go anywhere so I told him I can't just be his friend I want a relationship with you I told him if we do catch up I don't want it to be we catch up as friends we have been doing that already I'm tired of that I want him to be mine. How do I show him I really want to be his girlfriend by the way I emailed him what I wanted only because we don't see each other in person as much now and usually when he says lets catch up or meet up it doesnt happen for a week hes a busy guy I couldn't wait so I hope I didn't mess anything up I just want to be honest with how I feel. I think he does like me too I just wish I could show him and make him mine not force him to be mine but I want him to fall in love with me since I adore him. (link)
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Leave him for good and let him have a chance to miss the great catch that you are. If he doesn't come around soon with more serious intentions then you know it was not meant to be. You do not want to be with someone who doesn't treasure you the way you treasure them. You seem to have good instincts as to what you feel you deserve. Don't ignore those instincts. Don't settle. If its not fulfilling, move on... you may be missing Mr.Right by spending so much energy on Mr.Right Now.
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i'm 18/f
i had sex for the first time recently so my knowledge of everything isnt quite clear yet. my question is, even if i'm not on birth control, if the condom was used correctly (which i'm pretty confident it was) does that mean i'm safe from being pregnant? (link)
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Condom effectiveness ranges from 75-98%, provided you are using them correctly, which many people don't. Here is a very helpful website that discusses the effectiveness of condoms and how to use them correctly. http://kidshealth.org/teen/expert/birth_control/effective_condoms.html
The only way to be 100% safe is to abstain from sex, but if you are going to do it, be informed and NEVER make any rash decisions when it comes to sex. Unfortunately for us ladies, it usually falls to us to keep things from getting too crazy when it comes to sex, since guys are mostly thinking with their penis' ; ) Good luck, stay safe and have a great summer!
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So my husband and I have been married close to two years...together for 5. Since I had my daughter who is 14 months I haven't really been into sex that much...also I have been on anti depresants for a while and that drags down my sex life majorly.
I don't know what to do cause he is kinda needy that way and I feel like I can't be that way.
I don't know if I should try to go off the pills and see if that helps or cut down even more (already cut it to 50 mg from 100).
I just know how he feels and understands I just don't know.
What do you think? (link)
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This is VERY, VERY common. You are not crazy or messed up. You are experiencing what women all over experience after having kids. I have 2 myself and after the 2nd one it took almost 3 years to get my regular sex drive back. You're tired, you're stressed, plus you're dealing with depression. All that adds up to a lack of sex drive. Not to mention your hormones are all wacky (yes, still, even after 14 months) so you just don't have the same drive you used to. The first thing you should do (if you haven't already) is explain this problem to your doctor. Maybe a different anti depressant is needed. But the BEST thing to do, and I know every woman (including me) hates to hear this, is to go ahead and have sex, even when you don't feel like it. With sex, for us women, its use it or lose it. You won't want it if you never have it. But when you have sex, it activates endorphines and hormones that will "rev" your body up and make you want more. What I do is I make a "sex date". Not very romantic, I know, but every therapist will tell you its actually healthy for a marriage. Ours is Thursdays, but usually what happens is it ends up being more because my body starts wanting more after that. So yeah, its weird and a little annoying at first but then it becomes something real. To help yourself out get some KY jelly. After birth women can become "dry" and it gets more difficult for your body to create natural lubrication. The KY helps. A lot! And the warming KY is kinda fun too. I just told my husband, hey, I need this cuz my body is all wacky, don't get offended. Of course, he was totally cool. He doesn't care. He just wants to be with me. As you're finding out, being a wife and a mother takes a lot of sacrifice. As my mother-in-law says, a man works from sun up to sun down, but a woman's work is never done. Being intimate with your husband is a part of the "job". Sometimes it sucks, sometimes its fun, but it has to be done. So make a date, once a week. Tell yourself you can do this. Its ONE night. Then at least you know you're husband can count on intimacy at least once a week and you don't have to feel so guilty all the time. But I guarantee you that after that one time, you will feel more inclined to do it again. I know I know, none of it is very romantic, but I PROMISE it works. That is marriage. You know how everyone always says it takes work, well, this is one of the parts you have to work for. We never dream in the beginning it will get this way, but that's just a part of life. The good news is you have a husband who is committed to you, and a beautiful family you've created together. You won't feel this way forever. This part of your life is only for a season. With a little effort you will move on to greener pastures in the near future. I do the anti-depressant thing too, so I know how screwy it can get ; ) Good luck to all of you. I know you will be fine.
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My boyfriend is very much in love with me; he makes sure I know it, also. We talk for about half an hour most nights and he sends me one or two "I love you" texts through the day. But he never makes plans to see me. For the first 6-7 months of our relationship, we saw each other strictly once a week-- granted, we were both in the same school and despite having no classes with one another, I made an effort to see him for a decent amount of time in school-- not so much the other way around.
After he left school in May as a senior, we've maintained this once a week thing. About every other week I suggest a second opportunity to chill and he either seems disinterested but obliging from the start and/or makes the hangout as short as possible. I brought this up a few weeks ago and he apologized but he hasn't done much to change. He hasn't made a plan with me in months. If he was a homebody I would understand but he goes out with his friends 4-5 nights a week.
What should I do? I'm unsure as to whether this is worth breaking off the relationship over. I love him for him but I don't think he has the responsibility to uphold this relationship, and I don't know if I want to deal with that.
Thanks. ...and sorry for the multiple postings & wrong catagories - I'm just not getting many answers =/ (link)
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I think your instincts are telling you this is not the way you want to be treated in a relationship and you deserve better. You have real feelings for him but you know you want more. Boys are always going to hang out more with their friends and that's fine because guys need guy time. But I think his time is a bit much, especially when he doesn't even make an effort to plan time with you. Listen to your gut on this one. I think you already know what you want to do, you just haven't had the guts to do it yet. My opinion is let this one go. Summer's here and you shouldn't have to spend the whole summer worrying about this. You should be enjoying yourself. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. Have a great summer!
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Ok, I'm 17/f and my ex is 17/m.
Let's just start off by saying that this was my first serious relationship. I loved (and still currently love) this guy to death. I lost my virginity to him... and basically thought we were going to be together forever... I know, that's really naive of a 17 year old, but it SEEMED that way. It really did. For the most part, our 7 month relationship was amazing. I mean, it had its little bumps along the way, but every relationship has those. Just before our 7 month anniversary, things started going downhill. My boyfriend became majorly depressed due to family issues and pulled away from me. I tried everything I could, but I just felt him slipping away... In a way, I think I made it worse. The last day of school, he broke up with me (over a text) because "he just stopped loving me." I know, that seems incredibly jerky and you're probably asking yourself "why would she want him back?" Well, see, that wasn't really him. It was the depression. It took over his life and changed him. But, I know that deep down he's still the guy I fell in love with. So, here's the thing... I want him back... So so so so much. We haven't talked or seen each other at all in the 3 weeks we've been broken up. This is quite a stretch when you've communicated with somebody nearly every day for almost 7 months. I feel like I should be a little more secure now... But I'm not. It feels wrong and it feels like it shouldn't have happened. I just miss him so much... Not just being in a relationship with him, just him in general. Everything reminds me of him. It's hard to even walk around my own house because everything I see sparks memories. I lay in bed at night, thinking of writing him letters asking to get back together... I dream about him a lot... I just can't see myself with any other guy. I try, but I can't. I'm heartbroken. I know that I'm obsessing and that I should be trying to move on, but I can't tell myself anything to make it stop. I love him more than anything in the entire world.
So, here are my questions:
Should I try to get him back? If so, how? I'm afraid I'll get my heart broken again...
Or
Should I get over him? I don't know how I'm going to do that... What do you recommend?
I know that I sound crazy, or like something Ke$ha would write about...
But I love him.
Please ease my mind.
Thanks so much xoxox
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You are experiencing your first heartbreak. I wish I could tell you it would be the last, but unfortunately its a part of life. You were very much attached to this person. You gave him a part of you (your virginity) that you can never get back. Of course you are having a hard time. There is no way to deal with this except to go through it. Its ok to feel hurt and sad and angry. Its natural. But don't forget about your own instincts. Right now your instincts are telling you that what he did was jerky. I have suffered from depression and I know how it changes you. But you still have a choice as to how to treat people. Its not like you're high on crack or something. Its depression. It doesn't mean you can't be nice. His break up over text says a lot about how he sees you. Its unfair and it sucks. But sometimes people hurt us. We cry and we hurt and we get angry and then we move on. I can't tell you how long this will take you, but I CAN PROMISE you it will pass. Each day that goes by will start to become a little easier, until one day you'll look back on this part of your life and tell jokes about it (you will, believe me). In the meantime, forget about trying to get back together with this guy. You gave him the best part of you and he broke up with you in a text. Your heart doesn't believe it yet, but you deserve better than that. You are special and unique. The next time you give your heart (and your body, for that matter) to someone, make sure they understand that. This experience, in the end, will make you stronger. Try to keep yourself occupied. Meet up with friends, go the pool, whatever. It may seem insincere at first, but eventually you'll start to really want to do things again. You have to make the effort, first. Good luck. I wish I could give you a crystal ball so you could see into the future and see yourself feeling good and moving on to a better place in your life. Because I know that's going to happen. I remember my first heart break. I felt just like you, I dreamed about him for weeks and I thought I might never want to see anyone ever again. But it passed and I survived. It took a little while, but my life moved on and I'm still ALIVE ; ) You'll live too, I promise. Take care.
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18/f
the first time i tried to have sex with my boyfriend i was so tight that it didnt work. this was in february. we tried a few times after that and it went in but i had to make him stop. anyways, a couple of those times i bled after. i also bleed sometimes after he fingers me. it still hurts when we try to have sex and today was the first day we were actually able to do it for longer than like a minute but it starting hurting and i was worried i would start bleeding on him. is it weird that its still bleeding? could my cherry only be sort of popped? like its not popped all the way and thats why it still hurts/bleeds every time? is this normal?? i dont want to bleed while were having sex. thats so awkward! help! (link)
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Nerves can cause your vagina muscles to tighten up, a lot! This may be your body's way of telling you you're not ready for this. But there is also a condition many women suffer from that makes sex very painful. I can't remember what its called, but it makes the vagina muscles very restrictive and the cervix is too short and tight, meaning sex is literally painful. I once knew a woman who suffered from this and was even married. She had sex once in 7 years of marriage! When she finally went to the doctor AND a therapist, she was able to eventually beat the issue, both physically and mentally, and now things are fine. Go see the doctor. It is weird that its still bleeding. You need to get this checked out, if only for your own peace of mind. Good luck.
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When i was young, people used to say i had hair of a horses tail because of how wavy and nice it was, and then i stopped taking care of it cause i didnt want my mom to hurt me anymore cause she used to comb my hair really hard so i never let her come near it anymore , and then i stopped taking care of it, and it became really curly. and knoty and ugly and w.e. and like a month ago from now, ive been taking alot of care of it lately. and i can tell that when i wet my hair, its still curly. but when it gets dry it becomes wavy and not frizzy anymore. i used the egg mask. and the mayonaise mask, and they worked like charms. im just wondering, my hair is becoming wavy when its dry now, does that mean my hair is becoming its natural self again? thank you. :) (link)
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You sound like you're hair is like mine. I'm mixed with black and white so I have that kind of hair. I alternate between curly and straight, depending on how I feel. I love my curls. And I love it straight. If you really want straight, shiny hair, you'll need to get a perm, which can be expensive, but in the long run it will be easier on your hair because every time you use flat-irons and blow dryers it dries out your hair, which I think is what's happening to you now. There is a such thing of too much product. Also, I only shampoo my hair once a week, but I use a conditioner every time I'm in the shower. Shampoo strips your hair of its natural moisture, so its best to use it sparingly. Also, Frizz Ease products are great for thick and curly hair, it keeps the crazy frizz away and they have every type of gel, mask, mousse, whatever you could want. Don't be afraid to experiment with styles and products. when you find something you like all that hair care drama will become a lot easier. Good luck!
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Okay, so I've known this guy for about a year and we became friends with the intentions of hooking up. A year later, we still talk ALL the time and we've hooked up one other time since then with the occasional sext. He moved about four hours away and I moved away to college so we are about 8 hours away so I don't see him often. My problem is I want to know if this is considered a booty call or not because he still chooses to talk to me. I know he talks to other girls and he has had sex with others over the course of the year and he could easily just be talking to them as often as with me...He hasn't been in a real long-term relationship so that's why I would assume it's just a booty call.
But, at the same time, we've talked about things other than sex before and he's randomly confided things he's upset about at the time or what's going on in his life in the course of a year, which is the same with me. We also do flirt a lot. And, last night, he told me was coming to visit home and I agreed to hang out with him and he replied, "Okay, it's a date" which he has never done before.
I just want to know what's going on inside his head because I don't understand the effort he puts into talking to me if I'm just a booty call. We are so far away, and we could easily not see each other again. We only do because of his occasional visit, which is so rare so I don't see the point in talking to me everyday.
On my part, I really care about him as a friend, and maybe more, but I really don't know if I see us in a relationship together. But that could easily change if he liked me. (link)
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He puts in the effort because he's a guy and you are a potential booty call. Keep in mind, guys don't think like girls. You're thinking because you have other things in common and talk about other things that you might have a real relationship. He's thinking that because you are willing to have sex with him, he needs to keep talking to you so you're available to him when he wants you. I'm sorry, no girl wants to hear this, but you are a booty call. If you like him and want him to like you back, don't have sex with him. Seriously, just read around on this website. look at the other letters from girls in your situation. They are all the same. You can't make a guy "like" you by just sleeping with him. It actually has the opposite effect. Think about it, by hooking up, you're just like every other girl who gives it up. You're not special. What makes you special and stand out is holding yourself and those who want to know you to a higher standard. The sex is getting in the way of him really seeing you for who you are, and getting to know all the really awesome things about you. Stop sleeping with him. I'm right on this one. I know. I married my college sweetheart, who was a total player and slept around all the time, but I wanted to wait until marriage. I once asked him if I had slept with him when we first met would he have ended up marrying me. He said, honestly no. Because you would have been just like every other girl and I would have moved on to the next booty call. But the fact that I wouldn't sleep with him when he could have ANYONE he waned really interested him. He wanted to find out what was so special about me. And he did. Now he is my faithful, loving husband 11 years later. So just lay low on the booty calls. If you stop sleeping with him and you notice he doesn't really keep in touch anymore, you know he was just using you. But on the other hand, he might become more interested and want to be with you more. Either way, if you keep hooking like you are, nothing will ever change. Good luck.
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Hello advicenators!
I am a female living with my fiance, and I'd love to hear opinions. I work, and so does he, but as with any home, there are things to pay. Due to certain circumstances, we are fortunate as to not having to pay bills such as the light, gas, etc. Right now, we are paying small bills. For example, we pay metrocard (which is $190 a month), a small bill of $60, and another bill of $10. The thing is, I am confused as to how we should pay bills. On one hand, I want to help him out, since we are a couple. But on the other hand, I feel as if he should be taking care of me, meaning he puts in more money towards the bills. Can someone put in their opinion? It would be awesome to hear stories from those who are married, those who were married, or those who have shared an apartment with a partner. I feel that life experiences are better than opinions. Thank you so much in advanced! (link)
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Being married is a legal and spiritual joining of two people into one new family. If you were married I would say yes, it is his responsibility to head up the home financially. My husband is the breadwinner in our home and we both like it that way. But since you are just living together I think its only fair to split the bills in half. That way there is no confusion as to who owes what. When you get married you'll have to talk about your finances and what you expect from each other so that you can both be clear ahead of time how it will all look and there will be no tension tied to your finances. I guess I'm just saying, for the time being, simplify it. It'll make everything easier until you're ready to take that next big step. Good luck.
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my dad passed away 3 years ago and I'm still not over it, I lost a fgood riend 4 years ago and I still miss her and hurt from it, why do we dwell something that hurt us in past?
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You are not dwelling on the past. You are missing two people who were very important to you and it hurt you when they left. I think its important for you to realize that you will never really "get over" losing your dad. His passing left a huge hole in your life that can't be replaced. Expecting yourself to get over it is just holding yourself to a standard that can't be reached. You miss him. You'll always miss him. That's ok. And its right. However, missing him (and your friend, for that matter) doesn't mean that you have to recall the pain every time you think about it. It will take some effort, but from now on, whenever you think of your dad, think of something nice, a fun memory or a funny quirk he had. The point is to start smiling when you think of him. Eventually the good memories will become stronger than the pain associated with them, and you'll be able to accept that, while you'll always miss him, you were blessed to have him for a while and you can move forward in your life. You can take steps to move forward by forging new friendships and relationships. Opening yourself up to other people doesn't mean you are forgetting the people you lost, it means you are taking the gifts those relationships gave you and you are applying those gifts to new relationships and situations that will improve your life, and bring you happiness. Its ok to miss your friend and your dad, and even to feel hurt about it. As my grandma used to say - go ahead and take the bus to Pity-ville, just don't stay there. Start making a decision to open yourself up to new experiences. It won't hurt you, it will help heal you, even if you don't believe it right away. You can move forward from this, but the first step starts with you making a decision. Good luck.
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Ok, I'll make a long story short. I had sex with a guy who has AIDS. Yes, I knew he had it, but we used a condom and I thought everything was going to be OK. Some stuff happened and I went to the doctor to see if I was OK later on. I'm HIV positive now.
Can HIV make you fat is what I want to know? I am gaining a lot of weight and I don't know why. I have still been exercising and I eat OK stuff but I am getting fatter. Can HIV do that to you or is it something else? I haven't gone back to the doctor in awhile so I'm afraid getting fatter is maybe a serious sign that it's gotten worse. What do you think? (link)
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Why haven't you been to the doctor? You should be having regular visits and get set up on a drug cocktail to keep your symptoms at bay. As for gaining weight, I'm not really sure, but you REALLY need to get back to the doctor and start treatments. These days people with HIV can live long healthy lives. I have a friends who's had it for over 20 years, but he takes care of himself and receives regular care from a doctor. Get back the doctor ASAP and start finding out more about your disease.
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Hello :) I'm sure this question has been asked, but answers towards my question seem a little more specialized to me. So thanks in advance!
Typically my period lasts a good 6-7 days. I do have a boyfriend and we obviously do "stuff", if you will. He nor I have ever had sex, and we are very safe in terms of preventing pregnancy or heaven knows what. I make sure he pleasures himself with one hand, and me, with the other. If there's any need to switch hands, there is no other option than for him to either wash his hands or use hand sanitizer. I don't touch myself, so that's not a problem.
Now, I just got my period a day and a half ago, and it literally just stopped last night/this morning. I'm sure this is probably normal, but I really just wanted to make sure. I'm usually not a paranoid person, but after I typed in "I got my period for a day" on Google and a bunch of pregnancy results popped up, it made me a tad nervous.
I've been using a website to track my period for the past year and a half or so, and usually it's pretty accurate. My period is supposed to come on June 28th and I got it on the 14th. However, I understand that a 17 year old like me can have irregular periods.
Other than my recent salad obsession, my diet hasn't really changed? I haven't been practicing any unusual or different exercizes so I'm a little confused. Help! (link)
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Sometimes "fooling around" can mess with your cycle at your age. Its all the hormones getting stirred up, it can make your body a little haywire sometimes. Nothing to worry about. Just keep being careful.
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I have an upward tilted uterus. My husband and I have been trying for a year or so now. We haven't been "going at it" hardcore or anything, because we both think that would be too boring. Does having a tilted uterus make it impossible for me to get pregnant? Or just difficult? Does anyone else suffer from this? Any helpful advice would be appreciated :) (link)
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No, I have the same thing and I have two children. Some people just take longer to get pregnant. With our first we were pregnant within 3 months of deciding to try. It took over a year and a half with our second. Just keep on doing what you're doing. I think you'll be fine. If it is really nagging at you, make an appointment with your doctor, just for peace of mind. Good luck!
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I'm having a problem I've been having for a while now. You see, I go to this amazingly academic boarding school in Connecticut. The only issue is I'm from Las Vegas, all the way across the country. The high schools in Nevada are the worst schools in the American school districts, so obviously I am getting a better education at the boarding school.
However I come home about every three months, so I never really get to see my family and friends at home. I feel like I've lost a lot of connection with my family, and I'm missing out on a lot of normal high school kid stuff. Like going to prom, sweet sixteens, dates, football games, etc.
I'm not doing well at the boarding school and I know if I come back to Las Vegas my grades will be sooo much better.
What's worse is my mother passed away recently in January, and I don't have anyone to guide me. My mom always wanted me to do what was best for me. However now I am living in vegas with my grandparents, two very high-tempered people.
So my question is: Do I come back home and go to school where I will get a mediocre education but be happier? Or do I stay at the boarding school where it is high pressure, but it will benefit me in the long-run?
People always tell me that highschool was one of their best memories. I don't want to miss out. I will be a sophomore this year and my family is trying to convince me to come back home, but they'll support me either way.
Thanks! (link)
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I think boarding school is the best thing for your education, but you just lost your mother. You need to be with family right now, in order to nurture and comfort that part of you that wants to remember her and be reminded of her. If you leave boarding school now, could you make the choice to go back later? If so, then maybe its best to move back home and just be with the people who remembered your mother the best. If you come to realize that the situation there is worse, re-apply to boarding school and head back. Just don't leave yourself wondering "What if?" If it doesn't work out, at least you know you tried, and there is comfort in that. Good luck.
Part II - the scholarship situation adds a new dimension. I would suggest trying to meet with or talk to someone at the school about possibly taking a "leave" in order to deal with the loss of your mother. Some schools will make allowances for that sort of things, like a semester or a couple of months. If you can't go to the headmaster or admissions director yourself, ask a favorite teacher that you trust to help you talk to someone. And, like you said, you have some time. I hope it all works out for you. You said your mother always wanted you to do what's best for you, but just remember, sometimes what is best for you isn't always was makes you the happiest (right away, anyway).
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Ok, I worked at a well known IT Consulting company, and I gave my 2 weeks notice mid May. They had paid me after the first two weeks of my short employment there (6 weeks), so I was all caught up with my paychecks when I quit (3 total paychecks for 6 weeks).
Now, 2 weeks after I quit (did not work one day of those 2 weeks) I got a paycheck. And now I got another paycheck, 2 weeks after that one.
While I love this money, I understand it is not mine. I was wondering what I should do; is there a way I could pay a lawyer to fight the company for the money? Or would my best bet be to try to give the money back directly.
This company has over 100,000 employees; it baffles me that they can make such a silly mistake.
Any advice much appreciated. (link)
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Just call the company and tell them you've been receiving paychecks and you think there's been a mistake. If you do it now, they'll probably just correct the mistake and let it go at that. If you wait and keep accepting the money, you'll be responsible for paying the money back. Its a nice mistake, but one that will end up costing you if you don't rectify it soon. Good luck.
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I have been dating someone for roughly 3 months now. Their last relationship was a very unhealthy, verbally and emotionally abusive one. My SO has decided that in order to move on in life, and our relationship, that visiting the ex to gain closure is necessary. The ex lives several hundred miles away. My SO intends on staying at the ex's apartment. I feel in general I have been really supportive, but I do have somer reservations, and am not comfortable with every aspect of this trip. In particular, do I have the right to ask my SO not to share a bed with the ex? Or is this something I should just expect (I do expect it, but should I make this expectation clear?)
thanks in advance (link)
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Yeah, you're right to feel suspicious about this. It sounds a little weird to me. Your SO is going to visit an abuser. Abusers thrive on manipulation. SO is walking straight into the den of the abuser who lured SO there in the first place. You have the right to ask about the details of this trip and to ask about sleeping arrangements. Just be careful because you may not like what you hear.
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I am 15 years old and my sister seems to be having financial problems. As her brother I don't mind lending or giving her a little bit of money. My parents found a marijuana pipe and later meth pipe both used in her room. She seems to spend so much that she started stealing money from me and asking me to make counterfeits. Then like always she lies and makes up lame excuses. How should I deal with it, call the cops and file a theft charge try to "scare her straight"? She passed a drug test but it was at home her friends were over and it took her 2 hours. (link)
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You need to tell your parents. If they fall for her excuses start keeping a "diary" of things your sister takes from you. If you notice something missing, write it down. If you see her trying to take something write it down with the date and time. Then you'll have a log of events to show you're not just making it up. You sister is on drugs. She needs help. Meth is highly addictive and once you start its hard to stop. Your parents need to step in here and get her some treatment. Try talking to them and see if you all can come up with a plan together to try and deal with this. Good luck.
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He's acting werid around me sometimes. I know that he has feelings for me by the way he's acting I read that if they become distanct with the person they care about I found that somewhere on the internet. I don't think he's avoiding me he wrote me on tuesday I did ask him to bless my house beacause I've been seeing spirits. The house was always haunted when we first moved here. This spirit happened to be my uncle. Anyway's... how do I tell him I care for him, he needs to know its eating at me. I couldn't sleep last night becuase he was on my mind. I did apologize for asking him to do that. What do you make of this so far???
(link)
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I think you need to tell him how you feel. This is starting to really get to you and you can't live your life like this. I think you should write him a letter. That way you can get out all your feelings without having to censor yourself or feeling weird or forgetting what you want to say. Tell him how you feel about him and how you've been thinking he might feel the same way, and ask him to please let you know how he is feeling, because either way you need to know. You need some peace in your life.
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