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Money issues.
Hello advicenators!
I am a female living with my fiance, and I'd love to hear opinions. I work, and so does he, but as with any home, there are things to pay. Due to certain circumstances, we are fortunate as to not having to pay bills such as the light, gas, etc. Right now, we are paying small bills. For example, we pay metrocard (which is $190 a month), a small bill of $60, and another bill of $10. The thing is, I am confused as to how we should pay bills. On one hand, I want to help him out, since we are a couple. But on the other hand, I feel as if he should be taking care of me, meaning he puts in more money towards the bills. Can someone put in their opinion? It would be awesome to hear stories from those who are married, those who were married, or those who have shared an apartment with a partner. I feel that life experiences are better than opinions. Thank you so much in advanced!
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Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Personal Finance?
I'm 22, engaged to my 23 year old fiance. We own a house, so our situation is a bit different from yours.
There are a few options. There is no right way to work with your finances. There is a wrong way; the way that leaves one or both of you unhappy!
1) Total merging:
This is what my guy and I did. We have joint bank accounts, put everything into them and budget out of that. It makes it a lot easier. That way there's no debating over whose responsibility what was, and there's no sense of "I contributed more than you did". All money earned is OUR money, not his or mine.
2) Proportional bill splitting:
You don't mention what each of you makes. If he makes more than you, then he should be paying more of the bills, right? It's not fair for him to have proportionally more disposable income, or vice versa.
3) He pays more:
I wouldn't recommend this. What did feminists fight for for years upon years? Equality. Equality doesn't mean that he doesn't take you out to a nice dinner every once in a while, or that he can't open a door here or there. It means that you don't need to be 'taken care of' if you have the means to support yourself. Now, I am in a situation right now where I am in school for 16 months straight, and cannot work part time. At the moment, my fiance is supporting me. However, once I graduate I will very likely earn more than he does. It all comes out in the wash. That's different from what you're talking about, though. It's all personal choice, but I think that if you're going to act like less than an equal partner, he's going to treat you like one.
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Being married is a legal and spiritual joining of two people into one new family. If you were married I would say yes, it is his responsibility to head up the home financially. My husband is the breadwinner in our home and we both like it that way. But since you are just living together I think its only fair to split the bills in half. That way there is no confusion as to who owes what. When you get married you'll have to talk about your finances and what you expect from each other so that you can both be clear ahead of time how it will all look and there will be no tension tied to your finances. I guess I'm just saying, for the time being, simplify it. It'll make everything easier until you're ready to take that next big step. Good luck.
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