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two guys,one big problem
My boyfriend ,Joey, broke up with me a few months ago but we still hangout all the time and i guess you could say im still in love with him.He told me he has a few feelings for me still but not like he used to .and he says he sees me like his little sister so he wants to stay in my life.I'm glad he doesn't lie to me and tell me he likes me if he doesn't! When i was very young,about 3-4 years ago i was in love with Justin.We were so young and chaotic and lost our virginity to eachother and from then on ,he meant something to me.For 3 years I was crazy for this kid,and he never asked me out or told me he liked me.We would hangout every once in a while,talk a lot at certain points in our friendships,but basically just keep eachother out of our main lives.Whenever we would hangout,it would always be a lone and usually turn into us having sex,i did it ofcourse because I loved him.He even had several girlfriends throughout all of this,and would cheat on them with me ,ALL the time.So i figured he liked me but didn't know when the right time to be with me was...so i waited.Eventually ,after like 4 years of waiting,i started to get it through my head that he just wants sex and nothing else.I wrote him a letter and told him how i felt and how i never wanted to speak to him ever again because it hurts.Very soon after that letter is when I met Joey and dated him for about 4 months and I was completely over Justin and still was until recently. When me and Joey broke up,justin began calling me and texting me all the time to see what i was doing or if i wanted to hangout.I figured he just wanted sex ,so i just ignored him and gave him little response.I didnt like him ,so i didnt care! One day ,he called me 20 times and i answered finally and he told me he loved me...i figured he was just drunk so i just kinda laughed. A few days later,he told me he really needed to talk to me ,so i went over and he basically confessed his love for me.He said he's loved me this whole time but has been putting on an act because of what his friends think about me.He said he was so jealous of my boyfriend (when i had one) and misses me and whatnot.I told him I'd give him a chance if he showed me he cared.He basically said he wants to continue fighting his feelings for me because he doesn't want anyone to know how he truly feels.I wrote him a letter telling him how i feel and he hasn't said a word to me.It's been 2 days and still nothing.He told me he doesn't want me teling anyone about his confession and he just wanted me to know the truth so i wouldn't think he's a bad guy. What do i do?! I really want things to work out,but he's just scared what people will think!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i feel like you should do what your truly feel is right. although you may not know right now,deep down you must feel something.
if you feel like you want to be with justin, then go for it girl! but a guy who loves you, shouldn't be afraid of what others think. if he really loves you, no one else should matter.
invite him over, or go out for a bite..and talk to him there.
whats the worst that could happen?
but make sure you think about yourself in this too, i know so many girls, including myself, who have gotten hurt. you come first!
hope i helped!
if you need any more advice, i'm always here.
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The way I see it there are two possible reasons that explain the way he is acting:
1) It may be that he actually has true feelings for you. If that is the case then he probably isn't mature enough for a relationship or not emotionally ready.
2) He might be just using you for sex. Guys like that know just what to say and what to do to keep you in his grasp. If he really has true feelings for you then he wouldn't have to hide it from his friends. That is a red flag that something is up. Remember you don't deserve to be hiding a relationship with someone that says that he loves you. If he really loves you then he would let the relationship be publicly known.
My advice would be to have a calm conversation with him and ask him what he wants out of the whole "relationship" you guys have going on. I would tell him that you won't have sex with him until you are in a committed relationship. If he can't give that to you, remember that you will definitely find someone who can :).
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