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I want my ex back... Or at least to get over him...
Ok, I'm 17/f and my ex is 17/m.
Let's just start off by saying that this was my first serious relationship. I loved (and still currently love) this guy to death. I lost my virginity to him... and basically thought we were going to be together forever... I know, that's really naive of a 17 year old, but it SEEMED that way. It really did. For the most part, our 7 month relationship was amazing. I mean, it had its little bumps along the way, but every relationship has those. Just before our 7 month anniversary, things started going downhill. My boyfriend became majorly depressed due to family issues and pulled away from me. I tried everything I could, but I just felt him slipping away... In a way, I think I made it worse. The last day of school, he broke up with me (over a text) because "he just stopped loving me." I know, that seems incredibly jerky and you're probably asking yourself "why would she want him back?" Well, see, that wasn't really him. It was the depression. It took over his life and changed him. But, I know that deep down he's still the guy I fell in love with. So, here's the thing... I want him back... So so so so much. We haven't talked or seen each other at all in the 3 weeks we've been broken up. This is quite a stretch when you've communicated with somebody nearly every day for almost 7 months. I feel like I should be a little more secure now... But I'm not. It feels wrong and it feels like it shouldn't have happened. I just miss him so much... Not just being in a relationship with him, just him in general. Everything reminds me of him. It's hard to even walk around my own house because everything I see sparks memories. I lay in bed at night, thinking of writing him letters asking to get back together... I dream about him a lot... I just can't see myself with any other guy. I try, but I can't. I'm heartbroken. I know that I'm obsessing and that I should be trying to move on, but I can't tell myself anything to make it stop. I love him more than anything in the entire world.
So, here are my questions:
Should I try to get him back? If so, how? I'm afraid I'll get my heart broken again...
Or
Should I get over him? I don't know how I'm going to do that... What do you recommend?
I know that I sound crazy, or like something Ke$ha would write about...
But I love him.
Please ease my mind.
Thanks so much xoxox
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are experiencing your first heartbreak. I wish I could tell you it would be the last, but unfortunately its a part of life. You were very much attached to this person. You gave him a part of you (your virginity) that you can never get back. Of course you are having a hard time. There is no way to deal with this except to go through it. Its ok to feel hurt and sad and angry. Its natural. But don't forget about your own instincts. Right now your instincts are telling you that what he did was jerky. I have suffered from depression and I know how it changes you. But you still have a choice as to how to treat people. Its not like you're high on crack or something. Its depression. It doesn't mean you can't be nice. His break up over text says a lot about how he sees you. Its unfair and it sucks. But sometimes people hurt us. We cry and we hurt and we get angry and then we move on. I can't tell you how long this will take you, but I CAN PROMISE you it will pass. Each day that goes by will start to become a little easier, until one day you'll look back on this part of your life and tell jokes about it (you will, believe me). In the meantime, forget about trying to get back together with this guy. You gave him the best part of you and he broke up with you in a text. Your heart doesn't believe it yet, but you deserve better than that. You are special and unique. The next time you give your heart (and your body, for that matter) to someone, make sure they understand that. This experience, in the end, will make you stronger. Try to keep yourself occupied. Meet up with friends, go the pool, whatever. It may seem insincere at first, but eventually you'll start to really want to do things again. You have to make the effort, first. Good luck. I wish I could give you a crystal ball so you could see into the future and see yourself feeling good and moving on to a better place in your life. Because I know that's going to happen. I remember my first heart break. I felt just like you, I dreamed about him for weeks and I thought I might never want to see anyone ever again. But it passed and I survived. It took a little while, but my life moved on and I'm still ALIVE ; ) You'll live too, I promise. Take care.
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well i think that if you really loved each other and had a great relationship then i think you should go back together, maybe start a little small talk, see if he is ok, dont presure him though, see if you can help him and tell him that your there for him if he wishes to talk, maybe tell him you miss him, and wondered if he realy stopped loving you, ect. basicaly talk to him.
try and help him though the depression, and be there for him, ask him if he wants to get back together and see how that goes, but if he does not want to get back together,
this may mean he needs some space but make sure you are ok with that and try and be friends maybe after he has got over this depression,(and you can help him get over it) you may go back to the way you were,
but if he does not want to be with you (like ever :( then you may have to try your best to get over him as hard as that may seem now, there will be others that maybe you will love more,
but dont give up with him just yet :) keep going everyone has there moments :) x
good luck
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