I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 173017
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my bf and i have been doing tha dirty for 4 months already, and we are extremely active...we always use the pull out method, i know it's not the safe way to have sex but he pulls out. is there a possibility that i could be pregnant if he pulls out and comes then sticks it back into me???? i just ended my period 10 days before i noticed some spotting on my panties. its now been 3 days since i noticed it and it finally quit today, i've been really tired and feel sick to my stomach, i just took a pregnancy test the day after i noticed the spotting but it came back negative. is there anyway that i could be prego? (link)
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You could definitely get pregnant from the method you've described.
First of all, pulling out is basically useless. Pre-cum, the slippery liquid that you might have noticed on your partner's penis as soon as it gets erect, holds thousands of sperm. You can get pregnant from pre-cum alone, whether he pulls out or not.
After he ejaculates, if he immediately puts his penis in you and stays hard, there's something to worry about. Most males lose their erections after ejaculating - it could take anywhere from 1 minute to 1 hour to get a full erection again.
If he is putting it back in after a couple of minutes (when his erection is back) without cleaning himself properly, then he will still have semen clinging to the tip of his penis. He is then inserting this into you by entering you - not to mention that he will get pre-cum again.
Pregnancy tests will not be accurate very soon after sex. Some tests are accurate before your period is due, while others need to be taken once you have missed your period. It's important to closely read the instructions of any test you purchase so you make sure you take it at the correct time.
Whether you are pregnant or not - which you may not be able to find out for a couple of weeks - you need to immediately start using condoms. While some males say this ruins the sensation of sex for them, it's weighing up his sexual sensation versus you getting pregnant. If condoms genuinely are not an option, then you need to see a doctor and find out about other options for birth control.
Once you become sexually active you need to start seeing a gyno anyway, and your first appointment with him/her would be an excellent time to discuss your birth control needs. You'll need to use condoms before then to ensure you are protecting your health, particularly if you do not feel ready to be pregnant.
Best of luck.
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Hi... i am 15 and I have been taking Othro-Tri Cyclen for 3 months going om my fourth. My third pack of pills was wierd from my undeu take the pills regularly at the same time everyday and your period should come on at the first green pill. My period came at the light blue pill and lasted 2 weeks its still on and it keeps going on and off i just took my last green pill yesterday and today is sunday so about to take the first white pill.... April 16th my boyfriend "nutted" inside me... i took pregancy test 2 weeks later and they were negative. HELP ME SOME BODY!! (link)
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If your period has been regular since you started taking the pill, then something is going on. It's not unusual for your body to need a few months to adjust to the hormones, but if your body has been regular and is suddenly bleeding, you'll need to go back to your doctor.
He or she will be able to access if there are any problems or if the dose needs to be adjusted.
Of course, there is a possibility of pregnancy as well. This chance is increased if your body has not adjusted to the pill yet, which all the irregular bleeding might signify.
Only a doctor will be able to figure out what's going on with your body and help to find a solution.
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me and my girlfriend are both interested in peeing on each other during our sex games we want to no what is safe and is not safe when it comes to doing this is it only safe to pee on the body and is it not safe to pee in the mouth or inside her either her vagina or asshole just need to know what is safe and isnt safe we are both over the age of 18. thanx (link)
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Urine is an interesting fluid. It's sterile in many respects, but there's a chance it could also host transferable infections. A good first step is to have yourself and your girlfriend fully checked out for sexually transmitted infections, etc. A doctor would also be able to give you detailed medical advice regarding possible infections that might be carried in pee.
Next, be aware that it's almost impossible to pee when someone is completely sexually aroused - and it's difficult to insert a penis that isn't aroused into the vagina or anus. The easiest thing might be to pee on the outside of the anus or vagina. This is not only practical, but will help keep the delicate PH balance in the vagina correct.
Once you've had a full health screening and worked out the practicalities, you can experiment to see what specific things you and your girlfriend most like.
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I know this guy whos in my sophomore class and we sort of kind of had a thing between us, or at least he made me think so. He was so sweet and he called me all the time hinting that I'm hot and that he wanted to go out with me. I really liked him because we could carry on a conversation about trucks, deerhunting, fishing, and so much more. He would pay more attention to me even if there were 10 other girls in the room.
One time him and his cousin called me from the lake at 12:30 in the morning and they wanted to know if I thought Brandon, the guys name, was hot. For some reason I simply just laughed and said no. I always found myself backing down from him even though I liked him. So a couple of weeks later me and another friend and one of Brandons friends get on the subject of Brandon. We start making jokes about stupid crap and then in the next class Brandon had heard that we were talking about him and how is friend was teasing me about going out with him and stuff. So then Brandon pops up saying to my best friend to tell me that he'll go out with me only if he could do it with me and be looking at this other girl though while hes doing it with me. I know our guys always joke around like that, but that comment really hurt me. Should I have taken that as a joke? (link)
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I think you might have asked a very similar question that I just answered, but this one gives me more info so I'll answer it as well!
I would definitely consider what I've already said, however there is also other stuff to consider.
If Brandon put himself on the line to ask whether you thought he was hot and you said no, then you've probably hurt his feelings and pride. This could be why he responded by making a similar comment to you - because he was afraid, embarassed, or hurt.
It sounds as though you and Brandon have a really good rapport and ability to talk, so why not put these skills to use? As long as neither of you is being honest about your feelings for the other one, there's no way to move this situation forward.
If you'd like to go out with Brandon, why not let him know? It's clear he could also return these feelings for you. Game playing can be fun, but it can also be used as a way to avoid the possibility of being hurt. In this case, game playing is actually hurting people from the start!
Be honest, and ask him to be honest. He's the only one who can tell you what that comment meant, and perhaps if you ask him it might open up a really good conversation and a possible relationship.
Best of luck.
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my boyfriend and i have been together for 17 months...when he fingered me i started to bleed, and thats never happened before. when we noticed obviously we stopped. i checked it and i seemed like he tore something. But then my vagina itself is bleeding...what is going on? (link)
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If you've been fingered before without a problem, then there are a few possibilities that could be going on now.
First, your boyfriend's fingernails could have scratched or torn some of the delicate tissue in the vagina.
Second, you could have started your period. Was it due around the time he fingered you?
If your vagina is bleeding heavily or continues to bleed (and it's not your period), you'll want to see a doctor just to check-out that nothing significant is going on.
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My boyfriend and I have never actually had intercourse, he has never penetrated my vagina, but he does rub his penis on my vagina and clitoris to stimulate me. Is there any way that I could become pregnant from the pre-ejaculatory fluid that is secreted onto the outside of my vagina? (link)
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Yes, there is a chace. Pre-ejaculatory fluid holds thousands of sperm, and some of the fluid could easily roll down and into your vagina. Added to this, your boyfriend's penis might slip and touch the entrace to your vagina as well.
When it comes to bodily fluids, it's best to cover up with a condom to prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections.
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i know this guy in my class who is always hinting that he likes me. But the other day he pops up and tells one of his friends that he would go out with me only if he could "do it with me", while looking at someone else. I won't say the person he named.Shes pretty, but the majority of my friends tell me im prettier before this happened.I know guys joke around, but should i take this as a joke?
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If this was a joke, it was a particularly insensitive and ignorant one. But joke or not, this guy is already being disrespectful to you.
He's implying that a relationship is all about sex, and that he would not be able to commit himself to only one person.
There's a slim chance he could just be the sort of guy that makes inappropriate jokes, but most jokes have their basis in reality. You may want to consider if you would want a relationship with someone who can casually joke about lack of commitment and sex.
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Does a woman have to shave her vagina in order to get eaten out? If not should she trim it or what?
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A woman can shave or not, completely depending on her preferences. Having a lot of pubic hair could get in the way of oral sex, particularly if your partner isn't very clear about what they are doing.
Essentially, the part of your vagina that will be stimulated by oral sex has no hair anyway - the outside hair makes no genuine difference either way. If your hair is particularly long, you might feel more comfortable with trimming a bit of hair.
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i want to get an abortion but im only 15 and 4 months pregnant what do i do i cant tell my parents. im not ready to have a kid (link)
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You need to seek professional medical advice as quickly as possible. Abortions cannot be performed throughout a pregnancy - there is a certain stage where you will have to continue with the pregnancy, and you are right at that point.
Click away from this page and do a search for a local organization, such a Planned Parenthood. They will be able to access you and inform you of your rights. Depending where you live, you may have a right to a confidential abortion. Equally, your parents may need to be informed.
You need to act quickly, and if you feel overwhelmed with this try to find an adult you can trust. While your parents might feel disappointed, they will be able to drive you to the doctor's, cover any treatment on their insurance, etc. They will also be able to hopefully offer some support once they are over their initial shock.
If you do not want to have a baby, you need to act quickly and responsibly, and this could include informing your parents. At any rate, you will need a support system in place.
If you go through Planned Parenthood, they may be able to refer you to a counsellor who can offer you support before and after the abortion.
Best of luck.
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Hello. Well, I'm a 19 year old female and a virgin. Whenever I masturbate and orgasim with clitorial stimulation I just feel like stopping immediately. You know how when I guy climaxes and just wants stop, I feel like that. I've tried to get aroused again but it just doesn't happen. I'm worried that when I finally do have sex with a guy that I'll climax before he does and won't still be into it. Any help would be great! (link)
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It's normal to want to stop touching your clitoris after orgasm. Orgasm, after all, is the release of all that pent up excitement - and once it's gone, many females feel satisfied and do not need to continue. In addition, the clitoris can become quite sensitive, making masturbation uncomfortable.
Chances are things will be fine when you are having sex. Sexual intercourse will not provide the sort of clitoral stimulation you are used to - it will probably take longer to reach orgasm, and even if you do climax first penetrative sex shouldn't be uncomfortable for a few extra minutes as the focus is not intensely on your clitoris. In addition, sex isn't just about you (like masturbation is). You may want to go on because you feel excited from pleasing your partner.
In addition, many men do climax before the woman does - though of course this depends on who you're with! It's impossible to predict how you might sexually feel with someone, as sex with each person is likely to be quite different. All you can do is see what happens, and then make necessary adjustments.
It does sound as though you're normal and healthy; chances are you've got nothing to worry about.
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i'm 15. almost 16. my special someone is 17. almost 18. our birthday are in the next two months. where I live it's ilegal for a 18 yr. old to date anyone under the age of 16 and i'm not quite there yet. but we've agreed we're not going to let that stop us. my mom doesn't let me go out with him because last week she decided that he's a loser because he droped out of school. and she thinks he's too old for me. my someone and i have been together for 8 months and i would do anything for him and we have a undying love for each other. but it's getting so hard and now he's listening to peoples opinions and wants to break up with me because he doesn't want to try anymore. i know i could have tried more instead of trying to find someone else. but now i regreat it. i know that if i convence him that we can do this then we can make it.. i just have to get him to see that we're supposed to be together any suggestions?
feel free to ask me any questions about this (link)
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Please let me know if I'm wrong, but it sounds as if you tried to find someone else to date because things were so complicated with your boyfriend. Regardless of ages, this kind of break of trust can take the other person a long time to get over.
On top of that, he appears to be listening to other people - and it sounds as though they aren't being very encouraging or supportive of your relationship.
The best thing to do is talk to him. It sounds as if you are genuinely committed to making things work, and now you need to find out how he feels. If you calmly explain your feelings to him (try to use 'I' statements), perhaps then you can give him a chance to explain where he's coming from.
Unfortunately, if he has decided that this relationship isn't right for him, you can't force him to change his mind. Once you've explained how you feel, what you regret, and that are you commited to making things work, the ball is essentially in his court.
I wish you the best of luck.
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i keep on getting bumps time 2 time on the outside of my pubic hair and they are really sore
have u any idea what they are??
im still a virgin..so it can be std or neting like dat...
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These bumps could be pimples, ingrown hairs, or boils. The best course of action is to make sure you are washing yourself everytime you take a shower - gently rubbing soap through your pubic hair to cleanse any build up of oils or other skin irritants.
In this way, it will help keep the skin clean and less likely to break out. If you haven't ever shaved the region where the bumps have appeared, chances are they are a pimple/boil.
If they continue to appear or cause significant pain, a doctor would be able to help you out.
Best of luck.
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hello my name is allison and i was just wonerding i have inserted the tampon for the first time and i was wondering what is it supposed to feeel like
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If you've inserted the tampon correctly, you shouldn't be able to feel anything.
If you CAN feel it, it probably means that it is not far enough inside your vagina. You can push it in further with your finger, taking care to make sure the string is still hanging outside of your body.
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Is it possible to get a disease from masterbating too much? (link)
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Nope. Masturbating does not cause any physical problems - unless it's done too often. This can lead to irritation in the genitals.
Nothing long lasting can happen, though. If your bits feel chapped or sore, slow down for a few days and things should return to normal. If not, there may be another non-related problem happening.
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Hey Alison, it's Triple G. Well my advice column is up and ready. But for some reason, this thing keeps popping up, saying that I didn't activate my account. What does it mean, and what should I do? (link)
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This probably means that an email was sent to your address (to make sure you are a real person, and not a spammer/robot/etc) with some instructions, and you haven't yet done what they said. For most websites such as this one, this email will have a link you need to click.
This takes you to the main site, where you confirm and activate your advice column.
I'd check back through our inbox for this email, and then perhaps check that the address you gave advicenators was correct.
Good luck!
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Triple G again. I need someoine to talk to. Today MLE really went off the wall. She dresses like a slut now, and today 4 da 1st time in her life, she cursed. Not because she got mad, just for fun. And every1 loves her now. In fact, people are hugging her ( not in that relationship sort of way, more in that royal way) and bringing her to class. The whole class is doing it. I'm really jealous of her. If she cries, every1's on her hand on foot. I do the same thing, every1 will stare at me and then walk away. No one even hangs out with me. Advice? (link)
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If this is MLE's personality, then people probably will not find it odd that she is behaving this way. If YOU were to suddenly act this way and it's not your normal behaviour, people are unlikely to respond - they'll know you aren't being genuine.
It might be worth considering if this is behaviour you really want to copy. Dressing provacatively and cussing both sound like things you are not interested in - and now you know they won't get you results.
People could be responding to MLE because they are intimidated by her and don't want to be bullied, because they wish they could be like her, or any of a number of reasons.
While I understand this is tough on you, please realise other people are probably having the same thoughts as you. Try to find one or two really close friends - I can guarantee someone you trust and really share things with is more fulfilling and supportive in the long run than a whole group of people tripping over themselves to have surface level friendship with you.
The best advice I can give you is to truly be yourself. People like people who are comfortable with themselves - this also has the added bonus of attracting people who are similar to you. If people can see you for who you really are, the ones that come forward are the ones worth keeping.
Best of luck.
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Triple G here. I'm deciding to register here, to start my own advice column. But they asked for my emailaddress. My mom will get mad if she has to pay money. DO you have to pay money? Oh,and when your questions come, they don't go straight to your email box, you know, where your other mail comes from, where your friends write, do they? My mom uses the computer to check my email. Also, how do you personalize your column. Cause i was exploring around, and everyone has different looks on their columns. Tell me everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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Congrats on deciding to start up a column!
Advicenators is free, though there is a paid service you can choose to get.
When questions are asked, they go into your Advicenators inbox - not your regular email inbox. However, the reason Advicenator asks for your email address is that when people submit a question, you get sent a brief email that says, 'Someone wants your advice.'
I'm truthfully not sure if you can choose to not receive that email.
Advicenators allows free users to choose from a few template designs, though paid users are free to do whatever they want to their column.
Best of luck!
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Triple G- do you delete questions, or do our questions go through someone else who deletes them?
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When a question is asked on Advicenators, it is anonymous and goes into the columnist's inbox. There is no way for the columnist to know who submitted the question unless the person chooses to give a name in the body of the question.
Once in the inbox, a columnist can decide to delete it, answer it, or leave it in the box. I tend to answer most questions - as long as they are a specific question. I rarely delete questions, unless it appears that the same person has asked the same question multiple times while waiting for a response.
I keep other questions in my inbox - ones that may not be questions but are more like stories, ones that I need to research before answering, etc.
The columnist is solely in charge of what happens to these questions, and as you pointed out in a really interesting note you left me, some people answer quite quickly and others don't. I tend to answer questions whenever I am online, though that can sometimes be rare as I am quite busy.
Hopefully this helps!
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Hi Alisonmarie,
Thanks for your advice in developing a sexual relationship with my husband of six months. I am going to take your advice on board, its very practical.
Thanks again, I appreciate it!
Warm regards,
Neatham...:) (link)
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No problem - hope it helps!
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can you get like a disease or anything from getting fingerd ?? (link)
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If the person fingering you has washed their hands and clipped their nails short, that will help keep you safe. Be aware that any cuts or open sores could still put you at risk - and that if YOU have any infections, you could also transfer them to your partner.
If you feel unsure about your partner's health, they can use a thin condom on their finger, or even wear latex gloves.
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