I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I'm 12 in the 6th grade going to 7th. And I kinda already know what to be in the future. I have 2 options I chose.
1. Be an actor on Nickelodeon
or
2. Be in a band and play guitar
I'm already in a band right now and doing a cover with my friends so that's starting the musical career. But I'm going out to find places to audition with my mom. So that's sorta starting the acting career.
Which one should I choose? Thanks 💘 (link)
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No matter how talented you are the entertainment industry is a brutal business and not everyone is going to make a living a it, be discovered or semi-known let alone household name constantly working.
If that happens for you it's awesome but bottom line you need to stay in school and aim for college to have a job and career you can fall back on if being a professional actress, singer/songwriter/instrumentalist doesn't pan out.
Right now take all the drama classes, improv, music courses you can get into or afford to perfect technique and develop skills and sharpen others and if you sing get a voice coach.
Before going on auditions be sure you only sign with an agent who is reputable. You can find one through ACTRA in Canada and SAG in U.S. If they aren't on the list don't sign as they may be a scam.
To discover whether or not you like the often 12 to 18hr a day shoots for films and TV go to a metropolitan city near you and get a Background Talent Agent. That person will have you do crowd scenes in major film and TV produced in your city. It will give you a taste of what it's all about and commitment involved even for being a part of the crowd.
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My mom already paid for me to go to tumbling, but I want to go to this concert. But the concert is the same day when I go to tumbling. So which one should I choose? Tumbling or the Concert? (link)
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When I read this I wasn't sure if you have multiple tumbling lessons on the same day as a concert or just 1 class of tumbling. It matters as it may affect the answer people will give.
Let's say for example that you go to tumbling all the time and have a class day that coincides with tumbling. If you can pick up where you left off next class or with a makeup one and it doesn't affect you or teammates than one night off for a concert on that same day is reasonable. People do this a lot. Unless you need to be there that evening I'm sure if you can afford tickets or were invited etc that mom would have no issue.
However, if this tumbling class is a 1 shot deal that your mom paid for and it's the same exact day as the concert than Adviceman49 is correct that you made a commitment to your mom who already paid and cannot back out unless there's some agreement and probably remote that you pay her back exactly what she paid out or something to that affect.
You didn't mention the artist you wanted to see. When it comes to big name acts check ticketmaster and the actual venues site because they may add 2 or more shows if the first one has or is expected to sell out. You never know. Keep checking the band's page too. I hope it works out that you can do both things you would love doing.
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does finger fucking make you lost your virginity??
i'm from PMB (link)
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No, sexual intercourse (vaginal) is when virginity is lost. What you are talking about is a form of masturbation for females and totally normal if you do and fine if you don't. It's pretty much universal with teens. You can't lose virginity this way so nothing to worry about.
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I am a 13 year old girl I just moved my family is somewhat poor at the moment and I need someone to talk to a friend. I have tried to walk around the neighborhood and all I find is happy old folks I need to find a friend my age and at the moment summer break so no school. advice on friends and keep in mind little or no cost (link)
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I echo advice on parks and rec. I would join any improvisation or theater skills program for teens. It forces you to work together problem solving with other people. Usually it's easy to get friends out of that because of the divrsity of evryone's background in class. It can take an introvert and change someone into an extrovert at the end. You don't need a big name theater school or program because these affordable parks and rec ones will suit needs.
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I am 13 5'0 and 140 pounds I know I am overweight and I have a thyroid condition I try to lose weight but it seem that the harder I try the more weigh I gain I started to gain weight after my abusive step dad left because he would not allow me any junk food when my half brother could have all he wanted I know it is a problem and need diet and workout tips (link)
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What you need to do definitely is lay off any junk. Your step-father isn't being abusive if he's trying to prevent you from hurting or killing yourself depending on size etc and diabetes risk. Your brother knows when to stop and you haven't got the self-control mechanism yet.
I will be blunt with you as you deserve honesty and no sugar-coating. Unless you want to change and have a burning passion to meet goals and continue to maintain healthy weight you won't be successful. You have to put the work in and unless you are all in it won't work. You have to want to be healthy with each breath and remind yourself if you see junk how it will torpedo things for you.
You should visit your doctor and get hooked up with the right diet and exercise plan for you and a nutritionist to help change your eating habits and how you cook. That will go a long way. Don't d any exercising without asking your doctor if it's the right choice.
You could easily go to a community center for swimming for example and or any of their programs or classes for teens. See what parks and recreation in your city or town has open to public that won't cost a fortune. Usually with swimming it's a few dollars a swim or some even do monthly passes or 10 or so visits or whatever. That's a cheap option.
Look into the YMCA. Your parents can sign you up for a membership where they pay for it monthly and it gives access to all kinds of programs karate, swimming whatever's open to teens. In some cases if there are financial hurdles they'll work on getting you in anyways. I'd start from these two ideas.
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I have two cats and rescued two more so now i have four cats in a tiny one bedroom apartment. Giving any of them away is not an option because of the 'trauma' they have experienced. Sometimes I don't even want to come home anymore because of all the fighting and growling. It is non stop so I'm always drained and angry now. Any advice on how I can make this work in such a small space? (link)
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Sounds like a turf war. The cat who has been there the longest resents the other two and perhaps time you devote to them. He/she is used to you and your home and suddenly he has two new cats in his space and doesn't like it hence fighting and hissing.
Your apartment let's be honest is small and not suited to that many cats in a tight space. There's nowhere the original cat can go for solitude. His/her routine has been disrupted and that's likely all it is. He/she hasn't adjusted.
You need to consult a vet and tell them about this and get advice and try it. Your heart is in the right place but the fact may be that those cats won't get along. Yes, they have been through trauma and it was good to rescue them but at the same time if they are always fighting and it won't cease you need to do what is right for you and the original cat and find them a loving home with tons of room to roam even though in your heart you don't want to. Try the vet first because they have likely encountered this a lot.
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I am a 24year girl with poly cystic ovarian syndrome. I got diagnosed when i was 17years old. Commensement of my menarch was normal but after 2-3years irragularity took place. I do not get my periods more than 5-6months. Doctors do not want to operate as i am unmarried. I have severe hirsutism, obesity, drowsiness e.t.c. my problem is i feel so mascuiline. I feel like i am infertile. So whenever i hear my mother or other girls around me menstruating i get angry and envious. No matter how much feminine i try to make myself in deep inside i feel this disoriented gender. PCOS is tormenting me more psychological than physical. Please help. (link)
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You are more than your illness and it should not define who you are or where you are going in life. You have lost track of who you are. You were born female, are pretty and no doubt guys are attracted to you and vice-versa but the diagnosis has led you to believe you are less than female and severely lacking. Nonsense!
What you need to do is be honest with your doctor and tell them you do not feel remotely female r feminine because of the medical problem which is NOT your fault and that you feel left out when others talk about periods and that you feel masculine at those times and left out. You may need counselling to deal with how you are feeling and to see gradually that just because you haven't periods doesn't mean you're any less female or you as before.
Let them know about the anger and being envious. Know also that most of these friends who talk about their's and get you annoyed may have ZERO idea what you are going through inside or what PCOS is an affects you. Perhaps telling them in confidence that it hurts to talk about periods and something you badly want but cannot experience with any real frequency.
Most women take it for granted or may not like their's because of cramps etc so if your friends don't understand the way you feel they will when you tell them your story. Perhaps they can help you see that you're more female than you think and it's not a menstrual cycle that makes you a girl. You have to get professional help and let go of the psychological BS you are latched on.
As for these other girls as hard as it is don't blame them but rather talk to them about how them sharing brings up stuff you haven't dealt with about yours, the PCOS etc and ask them not to share in future. Don't be angry because they really don't know what you are feeling inside and aren't talking about it out of malice.
I can understand envy and wanting to be like everyone else. That's a natural thing and I know just about everyone would understand but just remember that you are still female and whole. You just have to learn that you are. I think talking to someone and getting counselling will greatly help you love yourself again.
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Me and my bf are planning to have sex on monday. We both are virgins. We are going to use condom but im still scared. It is the first time so im scared about condom tear. My periods got over on friday. And my cycle is of average 39 days. So normally which are my fertile days and even if anything goes wrong on monday will it cause pregnancy? And if i am to bleed then for how many days will the bleeding last? (link)
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If scared than it means you should wait awhile. Read the following first. It addresses your concerns. http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/first_intercourse_101
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So I am a girl and I've dated 3 guys and 3 girls. I identify as bisexual but have a major preference of girls. I 100% want to end up with a girl in the long term, but I would consider experimenting with guys before settling down- but I don't think I'd ever want to sexually experiment with a guy. And the only guys I have 'crushes' on are celebrities. So if I can be attracted to guys, but only want to end up with a girl- does this mean I'm bi or gay? Opinions would be appreciated- but please no hate. Thanks ^_^ (link)
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If your leanings are 100 per cent of the time to wanting to with women overall as preferable than you are gay. If you have no sexual attraction or interest in that way to men than you aren't bisexual. It's normal to be curious about men or want to experiment but in your heart you have really determined your orientation but haven't applied a label or identified with it yet. That's okay.
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Omg I can't believe I'm writing this but help would be appreciated. I am 14, and I hate my body. My breasts are tiny, my thighs are fat, and I have started to develop spots on my you know... Area. I wash my body at least twice a day and bathe every day. It's quite painful and I'm worried my bf will react bad if he sees. I don't want to go to the doctors because I'm so insecure about my body, and my crippling social anxiety that surrounds my body means that I hate PE at school and I can't go swimming without being self conscious. A lot of help is needed. Thanks. (link)
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I have a feeling the bumps or irritation of your vulva may have to do with scented pads and especially soaps with perfume and or bubble bath. There could be something in those that you have an allergy to.
I have seen that with bubble bath and a child being case for them. It makes sense if washing a lot. You could also have an infection. I would show your mother. It's not that embarrassing as she has a vagina too and would know based on hers what this could be.
Doctors have seen millions of vulvas and people in your position before and will make things as easy as possible. You need to get it checked or it will become lots worse.
As far as PE goes nobody is watching you but are rather concerned with their own selves and performance. However, if you can convince a doctor that its really affecting you adversely with constant anxiety he or she could get you exempt provided you do physical activity elsewhere that can be monitored either that or go into gym like you own the place and focus on you and not anyone or anything else in your way.
As far as swimming goes focus on what you enjoy about it and not on anything else. Realize that anyone else is worried about how they look to so it really isn't a problem.
As far as the boyfriend goes he's probably as self-concious about his penis and size as you are about your private area, thighs and breasts. He doesn't care about those things and rather about you. Over time you will develop further anyways. You're okay if you stop worrying and start trying to find what you enjoy abut physical activity and think only about it. Be a girl on a mission in class and at the pool.
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My boyfriend and I broke up 4 months ago. He ended it with me although I knew things were on the rocks and I knew we both weren't very happy, but I wanted to stick with it. Prior to the break up we had been dating for 6 months in the same state and 4 months long distance before that.
I've been thinking about it a lot, looking back at our relationship as a whole. I was able to see with an open mind what things I could have & should have done differently - things I said, the way I acted, etc. It makes sense that he ended it with me and I can see that now.
We have mutual friends so I have seen him a couple times since the break up. I want him to see how much things have changed on my end and how at peace I am with everything. I'm happy and I'm having fun, but I want to share that with him. We were a great couple that ran into a bumpy road and neither of us were prepared for the "after honeymoon" phase.
I don't know how to go about reaching out to him to talk to him - I feel like it'd be best to talk in person. Do I randomly text him seeing if he'd grab a drink with me? Do I try to gradually start conversation with him? I want to get back together with him and I think he'll feel that spark if he goes into this with an open mind knowing our relationship will be different than the past one - that one ended. This one will be a new/fresh start. (link)
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It is easy to get hurt here especially if he doesn't view the breakup and reasons for it in the same manner you do. Like the person below me stated he may have moved on already and not have any feelings be it love or friendship towards you. When with mutual friends he may just being cordial. The fact is you just don't know.
The good thing is you know that it takes two to breakup and you are equally at fault and wrong on certain levels. You also desire to change behavior and are doing all you can to be a better person and to fix things that led to where you are now.
Send him a text or e-mail and ask him to lunch so you can discuss what happened only. If he's not interested move on but perhaps he will give you benefit of doubt.
You cannot convince anyone to re-start a relationship or that you have changed. They need to see it through your actions and for themselves really. If I were you I would work on being friends first and see if any kind of relationship could be had and if you progress towards being together or not. That gives you time to see that you and any changes you have worked towards are genuine.
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12 year old female. I live in the suburbs, but it's like right outside NYC. I've been to the city many times before. I haven't had much experience with rural areas but the more rural places I have been are so much better! There isn't any intensely loud noises from traffic, you can see the stars at night unlike here where the city's building lights and advertisements outshine them so you can only see the moon, planes and a few stars, there's animals other than squirrels, dogs, cats, pigeons and ducks, lots of diffirent plants, and trees, along with a lot of cool geographical features like rivers, lakes, hills. Yet people who live in rural areas want to go to the city and complain about where they are living. Why? (link)
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It probably has everything to do with the commute they face from rural areas that are far from the city by car and or having to use multiple buses/train combinations to get in to NYC from where they are.
Each day a person might have to make that trek twice through traffic or on buses, trains and subways that takes several hours hence they want to live in the city. Deep down they really don't want to lose the peace and solitude they have when home in a rural area even though commuting is a pain in their ass. It doesn't matter where people live they all seem to have things they don't like but the good outweighs the bad so they stay put.
Also, if they like concerts, plays, sporting events, festivals, movies etc. and all of this is downtown and it takes a long time to get to and back they may like the proximity of the city better and lament they can't have both worlds.
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Plz don't judge. I am a 14yr old fem with a basically impossible to control sex drive. I want to know how to get like a vibrator and lube without being embarrassed. I don't want to look in my parents room cos she knows ALL and I just want one of my own cos its kinda unhygienic and im not even sure she has one and also what's a dildo? Help greatly appreciated.
(link)
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There really shouldn't be any embarrassment in purchasing lubricant or any other product for that matter from a pharmacy. These cashiers have rung up far more embarrassing products and prescriptions than a bottle of KY Jelly or what have you.
To them it's just another sale they will ring up without thinking anything more about. I would relax there. If you went into a Spencer's location like the person below mentioned as an option there's no way they would embarrass you either and they sell a lot of these "novelty items" and would view it as another person making a purchase. I highly doubt they would say anything including "you can't purchase this" etc.
The ban is on adult novelty shops that stock pornography as stated below for 18+ Spencers to my knowledge is not like that as I myself have seen they sell these in plain view.
The fact is that almost everybody will or has engaged in this activity at some point in life be them men, woman, teen, child etc. It's normal and healthy and pretty much universal with both sexes in your age group.
It doesn't have to do anything with sex either but rather with feeling good and being comforting for others. Yes, no doubt your parents have and friends and other people you interact with daily. Your parents likely suspect that you do and know it's normal for people your age to do so. That wouldn't phase them if they knew.
In fact, you are doing something responsible and dealing with hormonal surges and sexual feelings without doing things with a partner you aren't ready for yet. Considering kids could be into drugs or other harmful activities they would probably be relieved for this to be the only issue which it isn't really that they could be concerned with.
You no doubt could talk to your mom and explain you have been doing this a lot lately because of urges, hormones and feelings and have not done anything with guy you aren't ready for. She would assure you that it's normal. If you saw her toys you could discuss curiosity about it and see if she thinks you should have one. You could also talk to someone you trust that is an adult about it. Just know that there's nothing unusual or wrong here about this or you. There's a lot of teens who wonder about the same things.
If you buy any items from a store like lubricant etc. just remind yourself that everyone including the cashier use these daily and it's not a big deal. Afer all, you aren't buying diarreha medication or something totally mortifying. Everyone does what you are doing with stats being 77% of females and 80% of males.
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female, 14
I really dislike P.E. classes at school.
I jog outside of school, so it's not like I don't get physical education for the purpose of being healthy and fit, but I really REALLY don't like ball sports, and that is what we play in our physical education classes.
I am not very good at playing ball sports, and I know I can get better at them, but I don't want to, as I just don't find them enjoyable, and I know so many people wouldn't understand it when I say that, but that's just me personally. In terms of basketball, soccer, netball, football, etc. I am just not good at it. I have been doing physical education compulsory classes for about 8-10 years, including primary school years, and I am still not good at the sports we play and don't enjoy them.
I cringe at the thought that I'll have to do P.E. this week, and almost every school week. Sometimes I fake notes from my parents saying I have a sprained ankle or something, to get out of it. Sometimes I go to the nurse's office and say I have a headache to get out of it. Sometimes I ask my parents to write a note for me, because they understand how much I don't like it. This is P.E., it should be enjoyable, but it's not for me. It is definitely something I will be happier without doing.
Not only that, but the teachers don't explain the rules of the game (eg. football), so we just do some drills to develop skills and then play it, with the expectation that we know the rules. So many people in my class are sporty, and it's frustrating when they run circles around me in for example basketball.
It's barely even a source of fitness for me, as I usually just stand there in games, trying to avoid the ball.
I'd much rather spend that time studying or learning, do you think it would be possible to get out of it? If my parents called my school and asked if I could sit in the library (which people do a lot when they have P.E.) and learn or study so I can do something more beneficial to me in that time, would it be acceptable?
Thank you for reading, advice is appreciated! (link)
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The only way you can permanently get out of gym class and this worked is to get a medical exemption. That way you cannot be forced to take the class.
If you can get a doctor to write a note proving that it has a negative psychological impact on you than you are fine. Let's say you were harassed and relentlessly bullied over not being good in gym class a doctor could sign an exemption provided your parents replaced gym with karate or some other physical fitness routine that could be agreed upon as credit.
You have to prove emotional harm. Try seeing a doctor ad explain that you are so poorly coordinated ad your self-esteem and confidence is really low and see what happens. Point out you would rather study or do physical fitness stuff on your own. If the doctor writes a note they must obey it regardless of compulsory class or not. Let them know the doctor especially that it's humiliating for people to run circles around you and push you around over poor gym performance. Play it up and see what happens. If you're truly miserable and full f anxiety people need to see that.
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How many hours/lessons of drivers Ed should a beginner take to learn how to drive? (link)
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The previous response is 100% spot on. The only thing I want to add is to be sure your research the hell out driving schools before taking lessons an whether you can use their safety vehicle to do your road test.
The biggest thing you need to research is what is the standing, rating and certification the Department of Motor Vehicles has given the school. Also, find out about complaints. A lot of schools are unlicensed and there may be a good reason against them. Always ask the department who they recommend.
One recommendation you should look into in a large city is driving schools run by ex-examiners with department of motor vehicles. These instructors wrote the test and or the rules for the driving portion and know what they need to do to have a student succeed and get their license. They exist in most large cities and I would look hard at those.
Aside from that see if there any web sites out there like in Canada where they give you the ability to practice with the types of questions asked on a written test. They are always helpful.
I don't know where you are from but in certain parts of Canada you can't get your license at 16. What you get to do is a written test about driving rules and pass it without errors. They give you a G1 license so you can take driving lessons or drive on non-highway with a licensed driver at certain hours.
They'll take it away and put you in jail if you consume drugs and alcohol if they pull you over with any level. After a year to 2 of G1 you get G2 where you drive with licensed driver, same drug/alcohol deal and can drive on HWYS and at Night. Then you get to go for the full G. They make sure here that people really know their stuff before a full license is ever given. They can yank your G1 or G2 here for inactivity too. You have to get between levels and tested in a period of time.
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Why does my skin scar so easily. Even with the slightest paper cut I will my skin will scar and sometimes I get scars from scratches. (link)
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Next time you have a doctors appointment mention to your GP that your skin bruises and scars too easily an even with small paper cuts. Ask if there is any medical concern regarding it. Some people do bruise easily or scar and it may be fine but if you are worried I would ask them.
This may be why you haven't had more answers. People don't want to steer you wrong and nobody is a doctor and guessing may do more harm than good. A doctor can put you at ease or tell you what causes this in some.
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I'm a 21 year old male, in decent health who doesn't smoke or drink, but ever since I started having sex with my GF 3 months ago, I have trouble maintaining my erection. At first I could not get one at all, but after a few weeks I was having sex successfully and normally. But just recently, it started getting difficult again. I was able to do it once last weekend, but failed 3 other times after that.
During foreplay, I get an erection with no problem, but as soon as the underwear comes off, my erection starts to crawl back into its hole. It's extremely frustrating especially considering that it hasn't been a problem before.
If this info helps, I've been taking Horny Goat Weed supplements ever since I started with my GF 3-4 months ago. It has helped by improving my sexual mood, and sometimes I believe it helps physically too (getting my erection to pop up quick), but maintaining my erection is still a problem I feel.
My doctor just gave me 7 100mg Tablets of Viagra that he recommended I should break apart because I shouldn't need 100mg. Should I even use this? Does anyone have experience with my situation? I'm afraid if I take it, I will become dependent on it and need to take it every time I have sex, which I definitely don't want to do since Viagra costs so much. Does anyone have experience using Viagra and finishing a prescription? If so, did you feel like you needed it after you finished it?
Thanks for your help!
-Greg (link)
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I think it has to do with nerves and being with a new partner and definitely something suppressed getting in the way and causing a problem that's root is not physical. As far as the doctor goes the prescription he gave is safe. However, if you have qualms about taking it don't.
Get an appointment with an urologist to see that a physical problem isn't the issue. Let your partner know you really want sex but something physical is happening that you will find remedy for and to be patient. I'm sure she wants best for you both.
One thing you may want to do is visit a condom shop if 18+ or adult novelty sore. They sell rings (they have an obscene name) that if you can get an erection on your own slip over the penis and trap the blood in causing an erection that will stay that way until end of sexual activity. Ask the clerk they'll help you. I know for some people that it solves issue without pills.
Worse comes to worse taking the pills according to what your doctor said to do may be fine for you as what he prescribed is safe or he wouldn't have.
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(Girl, 15) hey! I have had a crush on this one boy in my grade for a few years now. It was okay, until I found out that my close friend has a massive crush on him too. I don't wanna tell her that I like him, but I wanna date him as well. What should I do if he asks me out? I don't wanna ruin my friendship with this girl, but I really like this boy. (link)
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If he asked you on a date the choice is up to you to accept. She would probably not think twice if he asked her about you first.
If you value the friendship you could say to the guy so-and-so likes you and that you want that known first and want to tell her first so there is no tension. You really don't owe the friend and by telling her first you make her aware you value her feelings.
The other thing is there will be a gazillion guys interested in you both throughout life. If you think accepting a date from one knowing she likes him will tear things apart don't. It's a signal though that your friendship wasn't on solid ground if any guy can destroy it.
You have a choice here you can choose not to act on feelings and let the other person see if the guy likes them or if asked out go.
I think what you need to do right now is talk to her. Explain that you were not aware until recently how she felt about him. Be honest about liking him too and that he has expressed interest not in her but you. Let her know you don't want to act or hurt her if he decides to ask you out.
You can point out he's in to a lot of your classmates and not just one and that you don't think he has interest in her but want the friendship and her feelings coming first. You might want to back off of the guy and see what he does rather than spark a rift. Catch 22.
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(Girl, 15) Hi. I have this on and off friend of 4 years. But now, she is really annoying. She is basically coping everything I do, and she only talks about herself and her problems. Sometimes she is a great person, but most of the time she gets on my nerves. Should I keep her as a close friend? (link)
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Perhaps her self-esteem is really low and that is why she "copies" what you are doing, wearing etc to try and fit in. She may not be aware that she talks too much especially about herself and problems and that it turns people off.
Perhaps talking to her politely about how certain people respond to her may help her see what to change so she an fit in easier. You have to think about what she may be dealing with and about social skills not being good and people rejecting her. Don't be one.
Talk to her as all of this can be ironed out. There's obviously a reason why she is a close friend and you wanted her around up until now. Remember what it was and try to get back to that together.
I can't tell you what to do but I would be on the side of trying to save something first before destroying it so you can't turn back. If she has been a good friend despite this than look hard at that and at yourself too.
Also, I'm sure you have have faults that irritate her or others too so keep it in mind and focus on all the good before anything bad. Go from that.
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I have been having an extream time trying to have a nice orgasm. I can't seem to have one at all ever. With or without someone. I'll get to the point where I'm all hot sweaty and my body gets all twitchy and I start to breath heavy. Once all this happens I'm done. I don't feel like I have had a great release. Nothing comes out. Any suggestions on how to fix this would be great. (link)
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I am assuming you are female. The fact is most females do not reach climax from intercourse alone but multiple stimulation. I doubt there is anything wrong with you physically and it's not a situation of others being capable and your body not.
The fact is you are experiencing mild results as you mentioned body twitches which is a form of non-intense release. That's a sign. The problem is you aren't relaxed and are stressing, worrying and pushing and striving for what happens naturally and doesn't all the time. Same with release of bodily fluids.
We cannot say anything bordering on a how to but perhaps if you try different ways of stimulation that it can have better result. See what your body reacts to and how it reacts.
If you are 18+ one thing that could help is visiting an adult novelty store for marital aid and ask the clerk what is well made and might help you as it provides different stimuli and intensity. They get asked everything under the sun so it may help your cause to look into that but the key is to relax and not stress or rush or be tired and let your body react as it does or it's not pleasurable and counter productive.
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