I am a procrastinator and there's something I do not want to put off any longer. I've had a couple health scares this past year with cancer and kidney problems. Everything ended up being just fine, but I decided when I found out I was okay that I'd find a way to help people who were in the hospital with those problems. Not just them, but any patient really. The problem is that I don't know how. Is there any way I can make people's days a little brighter, like through some kind of charity organization that I can get involved in or something? Also, I really want to get more involved in my church to help people and just to be more involved and serve God. I'd talk to my preacher about it, but he's really good friends with my dad and I'm afraid he'll tell him what we've talked about, which I don't want until I know what I'm going to do and I feel bad asking him not to tell. Should I talk to him anyway or is there some other way I can go about it?
Hey!
I felt like you so I started by doing things for a charity.
I found the best ones were childrens charities as its a massive difference you can make to change/improve a terminally ill childs life, but there are other charities :)
I write press releases for my charity, help out in the charity shop and attend PR events voluntarily, so you could get in touch with your chairty shop and ask to speak to the PR person :)
In terms of helping at church-help with decoratiing at harvet/christmas first, this is minor so it shows they can trust you. Then as they'll know you better, help run a sunday school/contribute to a magazine.
[view]
19/F
ever since i was little ive always been extremely obsessed with making sure my hair looks perfect or else i get very anxious and cannot go on with my day, and i feel ugly. i straighten my hair almost every single day and when its natural and wavy i feel so ugly, but when my hair is straight i feel prettier. i dont understand why this is, because my natural wavy hair isnt that bad, but i feel like with my face it looks weird. i feel like it makes my nose look bigger and i just feel so hideous so i always straighten my hair. I also dont understand this because i dont think im an ugly person, a lot of people tell me they think im pretty..and sometimes i think i am too, but other times i feel like i look so unattractive. im getting tired of wearing my hair straight every day of my life and my boyfriend thinks i should try something new with my hair once in a while instead of leaving it straight all the time, and he's right. Today i told him I'd leave it wavy for him when we go out to dinner, but i looked at myself and i just started crying because i feel so ugly. I seriously hate this i dont understand why i am like this its so aggrivating. I know i probobly sound really stupid for posting about this but I really just dont know what to do about it..it makes things for me so much more complicated. is there something wrong with me?
Hey,
I'm a couple of years younger than you (f) with wavy hair and i totally know how you feel.
My hair is thick, and naturally wavy.
All the other girls at my college straighten/dye it and they all look the same. This is the point. Most people straighten their hair to look like each other an be accepted by other girls.
So because every girl looks the same, every girl compares herself to the image of what they think a girl should look like (eg. vans, straight hair, current on tren clothing etc.)
In reality, looking the same as other girls eg: wearing straight hair, is what girls think is attarctive, but they do this priamrily to be accepted by other girls, as the desire is there to be liked.
So i realised that actually, guys don't ever what aclone of all the other girls, they like a different girl. Plus, I always used to straighten my hair.
Then I heard someone say on TV that your hair looks best how it is naturally on you.
If someone had poker straight hair, its because nature/genes has determined that that kind of hair do will suit her best.
In other words, if you're hair is naturally wavy, honestly thats how it'll suit you best, the example here being Selena Gomez. So don't compare yourself to other girls, because your unique and this should be celebrated. Once you wear your hair how its supposed to be, you'll never want to straighten it again!
[view]
I'm always tired and have been getting sleepy so alot earlier than i used to. I used to be able to stay out until 2 or 3 in the morning and now I can't really go past 10. What can I do to make myself less tired? I'm only 20.
I agree with the advice below, it could be medical. If your tiredness means you can't function normally see a doctor.
Then again, if you're busy all day then you would be tired-tiredness comes with age as we supposedly slow down, despite you only being 20 you wont be as energetic as you were 10 years ago.
To answer your question, I'd say:
1) Avoid sleeping in, suprisngly this can make you more tired.
2) Set a routine and stick to it
3) Caffine in the morning but not in the afternoon, as you need all the sleep you can get
[view]
A lot has happened to me this past 2 years, and about 4 months ago I occasionally started cutting and making myself throw up. the throwing up has stopped, but the cutting hasnt. Things have been really hard for me :'( I hate being like this. I'm always sad and depressed and the instant I get upset all i think about is a razor blad slicing my arm. I cant help it.. It's almost as if I'm addicted to the pain. I want to get better, but I feel like I can't. What should I do? I have massive anxiety too. Any ideas as to what's wrong with me? :(
Hey
You never gave you're age :( If you did I could make my advice more tailored to you.
I reently overcame a serious spell of anxiety through counselling, so my message is if I can anyone can.
I felt like my world was over, but then I saw a doctor. He booked me into a counsellor and now I'm back to my usual self.
I've had bulima before, which I think this is what you used to have-and thats understandable as it is a control mechanism you see.
It's good you've stopped tho, as a doctor told me it can kill you as you throw up vital things from you're stomach which help you to breathe.
Go and speak to a doctor asap. if you want to get better, they are the missing piece of the jigsaw who an help you. Remember, EVERYONE in the world has problems, and everyone has thing shappen to them-thats jsut life.
The depression anxiety bulima, (I'm not giving an official diagnosis btw) will not go away, you just have to learn to cope with it.
It may take a while but you can overcome this with the right attitude (positivity)
Good luck inbox me on you're progress x
[view]
Hi my name is Jacob. Im 13 years old and I have a twin named Justin. Since we were 7 we would alway foundle each other and sleep together. Then at the age 10 we would have sx all throgh the night and we still do today. Is this alright?
Well what do you think? You obviously don't think so to ask a question like this!
Kids only learn about the concept of sex age 10, so I don't believe that you're actially doing it?By the way its not alright!
The problem isn't the gayness its the twin. I have a twin and we're girls. The love you feel for each other is unonditional, its like a bond thats hard to explain. You wouldn't feel attracted to him in the same way as other guys.
Nothing can be gained from doing this with you're brother so I fail to see why you still do it.
I'd give you helpline numbers etc,, but I just don't believe you. I don't believe you're parents would let this go on, I don't believe any of it.
So if you are lying then please don't waste people time on here, and let them give valuble advice to decent people who need it.
[view]
My dad seems to always try to snoop through my CDs and I don't like it and I try to stop him. Then one night, he wanted to borrow my Maroon 5 CD, and I wouldn't let him, so he said I can't go to any Maroon 5 concerts. Then he calls me ungrateful child. What should I do? Is he serious?
Woah, this must be the smallest problem I've seen on here before!
Seriously?
Fistly, I don't see the big deal with him looking through your CD's if he has the intention of giving it back? I love Maroon 5 but even I wouldn't spend 24 hours a day listening to them, so why not, when your busy, let him listen?
Also, if he bought the CD's then it should be fine, obviously I don't know you, but if not then think how much he may have done/bought for you in the past.
Also you can go to concerts when you're older? Maroon five are still going strong and if you ask me you're lucky if you can afford them at a young age anyway.
[view]
my girlfriend and i have now dated for 11 months. today she said she wants to have sex with me n i said the same. then she asked me dat y do i wanna hav sex with her? n i said cauz i love her. n she says dat thats not a proper reason. she's asking me to giv her a proper reason n i wud need your help. what reason shud i give her??
Because you trust her and feel she trusts you?
Because your both mature enough to understand that it wont effect the close bond you guys have?
Because your totally happen with how the relationships going and if shes ready, would like to progress it futher (though highlight that if she doesn't want to yet the relationship wont change)
[view]
hi, i am from india please help me out
I really want to die please can you help me find a fast painless way to do so I have been thinking about this for a long time but i cant find easy to die and don't want to survive any more and I am very sure.i am very depress. even my family can't understand me or my love. they all are very careless and they are not help me in my career. they are only showing fake love. i am finally decided i have to die please help me otherwise i'll take some wrong steps. please help me
You don't need advice on how to die, and btw your obviously immature to even think people on hee will give it to you!
You need advice on how to get better. Depression is an illness that you did not bring on yourself and it is certaintly not your fault.
However you have to understand the reason you feel like this is because of this illness, and they may not be rational thoughts.
Obviously I don't know if your actually depressed as I'm no doctor, so why don't you find a doctor?
[view]
I'm 18 and I've always hated not having boobs. I'm a 34A if that, I wouldn't be caught dead in a sports bra beause I'd look like a 12 year old or a little boy..are they really done growing? Or is rhere a way to make them bigger (for my own personal preference, not anyone elses or society) also my left is bigger than my right which is noticable with small boobs, my left fills out a 34A cup and my right doesn't so my bra like has a space before my boob..embarrassing. Also usually when you grab a boob it's squishy because it's fat, but mine feel almost like I have some kind of tissue implanted boobs..because they aren't squishy there's like some kind of tissue feeling ness as my boob Practically. They haven't grown that I've noticed at all over the last 2 years idk if it's my diet or what, I'm 5'8 and weigh about 113 I've always been slim but all my family has big boobs, my sister is a 34C shes had boobs since she was 14 and here I am 18 and can't even wear a bathing suit in public -_-
Hey !
I'm 17 with the exact same problem as you! I'm around a B cup but I feel like you do.
And the truth is people may tell you to 'just be happy' with the way you look, but thats beside the point-all you and I are asking is to feel feminine!
Okay, so heres a few things I try.
1)Eat lots of eggs. Don't know why or how but it seems to work.
2) Milk is quite good to
3) I read somewhere once that occaisionly don't wear a bra as it lets them be free (!) so they may grow more.
4) Don't worry, there are always bras to make them look larger.
5) While I appriciate its important to try to make them bigger (seeing as you're unhappy in your own skin atm) don't engross yourself in doing so.
Take care x
[view]
Well my dogs are to huskys and they killed my neighbours cat yesterday morning. My mom doesn't want to tell them! And I feel really guilty because they probably looking for the cat! And I really liked the cat I used to always play with it. And I can't tell behind my moms back because she can't find out because when she's angry she's very angry :( what must I do!?
Firstly you're not depressed so don't put that in your title-depression is a whole different kettle of fish.
It depends how responsible you are for the dogs. If your mum pays for their health care/insurance/food etc, then she's responsible so its really up to her to tell the neighbours and you shouldn't get involved.
If you'd say your the main responsible owner for them financially, then its up to you, not your mum what you do.
Also it depends if your close to your neighbours or not? If your neighbour (just pretend here) owned a horse and it (god forbid) trampled one of your dogs to death, and when you saw your dog you knew right away what had happened, how would you feel to have a dishonest neighbour? probably quite decieved.
The thing is, dogs will be dogs-they do after all derive from wolves which are strongly animals who hunt,so you could say this accident is in a dogs nature. If I were you, whether it be you or your mum, I'd give the respect your neighbours deserve by at least owning up to it. It shows your honest.
[view]
i'm a junior in high school. i've been depressed ever since last year. i don't cut myself or any of that. i have thought about cutting once, but i never went through with it. i feel like i'm never good enough for anyone. i get let down everyday and i have a great life, but i just don't see it. There's this guy that i've liked ever since i was in 7th grade. he's a year older than me and knows i've liked him. i guess i've been depressed over him because he doesn't want me. and since he doesn't want me it makes me think that no one will ever want me. i just don't feel myself these days. i feel sad a lot and depressed. I talked to the school's counselor, but she didn't help at all. I don't want to go to therapy for my depression. Any advice?
Hey,
I', only 17 but have had a short burst of dempression before and study psychology so should be able to help.
You're only a junior, therefore although there are lots of medication out there to control you're depression it will not get to the bottom of it-its not a long term cure.
Your doctor can perscribe you will fluoxetine or any other anti depressant, but they like most people will tell you its best to find a long term solution.
I am curious as to why you dont want therapy. The fact is if you're not even motivated to get better you never ever will.
I'd recommend you speak to your doctor. Although it sounds like depression to me, obviously I'm not qualified to diagnose you! The doctor should talk through a lsit of options suitable for you- but trust me if you act like your not willing to even try therapy then they wont want to help you.
Good luck :)
[view]
Do u tink a 13 year old sud let I lad feel her tits
Eww-no. You're not even fully developed yet so thats kinda wrong in my book, just being honest :)
[view]
My first period hasnt started and i have all the symptoms, when will it come?
Well if you have the symptoms then soon probably, most people have theres within up to one years of having symptoms.
[view]
Hello, 18 f, freshman in college. Like the title, I think I have anxiety. I wouldn't say like, a crazy case and it hits me everyday. I think I have a little, baby form of it. Sometimes, when I start to do something new, like a new class for university or anything, my heart beats fast and I almost get panicky. It could be the dumbest thing. Today, I have english class in the basement of the library and I'm not sure how to find the room that my class is being held in and every few minutes, my heart starts to be quicker when I think about what would happen if I can't find my class. My mom had depression when she was pregnant with my older brother but she's better now, I don't believe that she ever had anxiety. Again, like I said, I don't think I have it to the extent of having to carry around a paper bag or have to sit and put my head in between my knees, I just think I have a small form of it. Any ideas of what it could be? Maybe I'm completely off, any help is much appreciated. Thanks.
Hi,
I'm 17 and will poenly admit that I have an anxiety disorder, which nearly killed me through lack of sleep.
Anyway,I got better so you can to.
Anxiety itself can't kill you and in small amounts it is actually very useful as it protects us from danger. But you need to stop it in its tacks NOW before it takes control of you, like it did to me.
The main thing is not to worry about anything. I know this may be hard, as people who have a tendancy to be anxious are that way from birth, and you can't afterall change your personality.
(All this is what doctors have told be btw) Doctors reckon anxiety is genetic, and anxiety can stoop into depression, which could explain your case (but I'm not a doctor)
It sounds to me like anxiety because you talk about procrastinating over tiny things. So you need to control it. There are many relaxation techniques on the web, try a thing called 'mindfulness'. It's a buddist philosophy that gets me through tough times.
I'm 17 and at first I found it difficult to find time in the day to meditate, but It really works, so I'd reccomend you meditate for 10-30 minetes every day.
I know you say you don't think it is severe, but anxiety as you many know builds up to become quite severe, but you can catch it and control it in its early days and then you should be fine.
Good luck :)
[view]
I like this one guy more than just as a friend.
We see each other nearly every day. We're both intelligent, mature, and responsible. We share similar interests, like being around each other, and make each other laugh. He would never hurt me or himself, or take advantage of anyone.
The problem is, I'm 16. He's 22.
Is this crush too inappropriate?
(Before you make your decision, I can at least tell you it's not a solely physical attraction. I don't think he's good-looking, honestly.)
I could wait until I'm 20 and he's 26—it would be less frowned upon—but I can just imagine him already getting married by then.
I would really appreciate any thoughts on this.
It's a hard one because like you say the age gap now would be frowned upon.
However, if its meant to be its meant to be but you should definatly talk to him about this.
Because he is 22 you know there could be other people/he could just be being friendly.
Also because you are young he may be wanting you to ask because otherwise if he asked it'd look bad on him.
Then I'd say wait untill you're 18-if you leave it to long he could just leave he is in the best years of his life after all!
But yeh you need to talk to him-or if thats hard write a letter. The worst that could happen is that its a misunderstanding and he'd find it cute. Also, you need to know now rather than wasting time waiting, time that could've been spent looking for someone else. Good luck :)
[view]
So I met this guy online and we've been talking almost constantly for a week or so and I think he's really wonderful. He's a total sweetheart who has a great job and wants to do everything he can to help me.
At first the only problem I really had was that he's like everything I want but I'm not attracted to him at all. I was so disappointed when I webcammed with him and found out that he didn't really look like I thought he would but I think I could get over that and that with a different haircut and clean shaven as well as face to face he might look much nicer than he did on webcam.
So I'd gotten over that.
He's been telling me all along that there's been something bigger going on in his life that he hasn't told me about yet and when I first started talking to him he was in the hospital for a UTI and "other things". He also mentioned today that he talked to doctors a lot.
I wasn't trying to snoop but I did want to find out if the photo of his house that was on his profile was real so I googled his name. The first result that came up was on a forum with a user under his name begging for help from people because he was in so much pain from a spinal injury and that he'd been in a wheelchair since he was 9.
I know there's more than one person with his name but it sort of makes sense. When we webcammed he was lying down and never sat up and he said he had been through abuse as a child. I think maybe that's the "big" thing that he had been talking about.
Another thing is being as sweet as he is I mentioned earlier that I was trying to sell things to save up for a new laptop and he said "I can buy you one next month". Of course I turned his offer down but the "next month" thing makes me think he probably gets disability checks once a month.
Then again though he said he'd dated A LOT before and I can't see somebody in a wheelchair dating a lot. We had also made plans that we were going to meet up and go to the mall,out to eat,to the movies and to a nature park and I don't think somebody who's physically disabled would want to do all of those things but I suppose they could just fine they would just be in a chair.
What do you think?
Also if he is disabled how do I handle that? I get super emotional around people who are hurt because I have a brother who was in a horrible car crash that left him with a few disabilities (though none mentally). I tend to "baby" them and always ask if they're okay or need help.
Also I don't think I could date somebody who was in a wheelchair. Does that make me an awful person? I think he's absolutely wonderful but I'm not good at taking care of adults...I wouldn't be comfortable because I'd always be worried I was going to hurt him or that I wouldn't be able to help him...
'I can't see someone in a wheelchair dating alot' - first off don't sterotype honey!
I think you should ask him right out.Ask him about the stuff he wanted to tell you, and explain you need to know as you feel uncomfortable carrying the relationship on (which you do)
You can't make any clear decisions untill you know the truth. If he is then he'll be glad you asked and if not then I wouldn't bother with him any longer-what guy spends a whole webcam session lying down?
Once you know the truth, then inbox me or ask another question about how to deal with it-take one step at a time is my main advice :)
[view]
Ok I'm 17 f and I was hanging with my two friends that are girls. My boyfriend was also there but he said I was weird because I act different with my friends and that he felt left out. My boyfriend wanted to give me a hug and kiss but I didn't let him get to lovey dovey because my friends would of felt left out. I was to bussy trying to make my two friends feel less weird by totally not being lovey dovey with my boyfriend and I guess I ignored him in a way, even though I didn't want to. Should I invite my friends when I hang with my boyfriend? Or keep inviting my friends but this time not ignore him and kiss and hug in front of my friends? I'm very akward person so sometimes I don't know what to do..
Thanks for reading!!(:
Hey,
I'm 17 to and was in your situation 2 years ago exactly-and it cost me the relationship.
I'm guessing you're like me-you think things over way to much.Don't! Seriously enjoy the moment whatever happens and you'll act more natural and things will flow better.
In terms of the friends/boyfriend thing it can be hard to keep a balance. If its a new relationship (1 year or under) I'd say to focus more on the boyfriend. Let him hug you or whatever, because he's you're boyfriend-he's there for you and you alone so the least you can do is appriciate the poor guy!
If you're friends were proper friends they'd understand and if not thats their problem. But yeh from past experience definatly overcome any embarrasment or anxiety and focus on him over friends if you don't want to end the relationship.
[view]
Thank you so much. Well i texted me today askin him if he can take me to get some papers, he asked at wat time so I said in the morning. Well he just said "juuuum" i told him to fooorget it. Uh :( After i told him "can you just tell me what are you gonna do with this reationship because im already getting tired of it" He just told me "I love you and i learned all this through you" :( :( I love him so much i cannot let go but i know its going to hurt me more :'( :'(
Hey,
It sounds like your in a difficult situation.
I suppose what I would do if I were you would be ask myself this question: can I seriously do better than this guy in the future?
I know if you love him alot you'll probably say no. But is he what you always wanted in a boyfriend? Like in intelligence/looks/personality?
Basically, you have to judge whether the relationship is worth saving or not,and whether (no ofense) due to your age you're taking everything to heart (I know I did) or whether actually you can do and deserve to be treated better.
I know its hard but overcome the emotions and deal with the facts. You're hurting now and you say if this continues then you'll hurt more. Its abit of a cycle that you need to break out of. If I were you I'd sit him down and explain you guys need a break. Just even for a month so you can think things through. Then,when you can think clearer you can decide if the relationship is worth saving or not. Trust me, you seem to full of hurt and anguish to make a rational desion now, so I'd break up for now and see.
If he doesn't want to get back together then its his loss, but you'll be stronger for it honey and the right fella will come eventually. Good luck and inbox me if you need to :)
[view]
Hi! Im about to turn 13 in a few months, going into seventh grade. I know this sounds strange but i recently got my period for the first time so my body and face have been maturing. I really like this boy and everyone says we would be perfect for eactchother but he barely notices me! How do i get him to like me...besides "being myself"???
Hey,
Guys notice confident but not arrogant girls.
I don't see what the rush is just because you've hit puberty?
Also, as most people would tell you guys come into their lives when they least expected it eg: when they were being themselves. So just live your life how you want and then the right guy will come into it, rather than living you're life around what you think a guy likes.Because what you think he likes and what he likes could be very different.
The right person will come long eventually but you're only 13-I'd say spend the rest of childhood having fun else you'll look back and wish you hadn't spent if fitting in with a guys palns.
[view]
when i do something my cousin always tries to do it better than me even if she isn't interested in what it is she just wants to prove she can do it better
You havn't actually asked anything here, but I'll guess you're tying to stop you're cousin from copying you?
I don't know how old you are but find something you're passionate about, such as something to work towards a career goal or start a new hobby. If she's mature enough she'll understand its to do with your life and not copy.
As the advice below says rivalry is always common and does always pass, so don't let her get in the way of living you're life. I guess if you act like you're not bothered by her she'll get bored anyway.
[view]
|
