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too obsessed with appearance/hair
19/F
ever since i was little ive always been extremely obsessed with making sure my hair looks perfect or else i get very anxious and cannot go on with my day, and i feel ugly. i straighten my hair almost every single day and when its natural and wavy i feel so ugly, but when my hair is straight i feel prettier. i dont understand why this is, because my natural wavy hair isnt that bad, but i feel like with my face it looks weird. i feel like it makes my nose look bigger and i just feel so hideous so i always straighten my hair. I also dont understand this because i dont think im an ugly person, a lot of people tell me they think im pretty..and sometimes i think i am too, but other times i feel like i look so unattractive. im getting tired of wearing my hair straight every day of my life and my boyfriend thinks i should try something new with my hair once in a while instead of leaving it straight all the time, and he's right. Today i told him I'd leave it wavy for him when we go out to dinner, but i looked at myself and i just started crying because i feel so ugly. I seriously hate this i dont understand why i am like this its so aggrivating. I know i probobly sound really stupid for posting about this but I really just dont know what to do about it..it makes things for me so much more complicated. is there something wrong with me?
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Hey,
I'm a couple of years younger than you (f) with wavy hair and i totally know how you feel.
My hair is thick, and naturally wavy.
All the other girls at my college straighten/dye it and they all look the same. This is the point. Most people straighten their hair to look like each other an be accepted by other girls.
So because every girl looks the same, every girl compares herself to the image of what they think a girl should look like (eg. vans, straight hair, current on tren clothing etc.)
In reality, looking the same as other girls eg: wearing straight hair, is what girls think is attarctive, but they do this priamrily to be accepted by other girls, as the desire is there to be liked.
So i realised that actually, guys don't ever what aclone of all the other girls, they like a different girl. Plus, I always used to straighten my hair.
Then I heard someone say on TV that your hair looks best how it is naturally on you.
If someone had poker straight hair, its because nature/genes has determined that that kind of hair do will suit her best.
In other words, if you're hair is naturally wavy, honestly thats how it'll suit you best, the example here being Selena Gomez. So don't compare yourself to other girls, because your unique and this should be celebrated. Once you wear your hair how its supposed to be, you'll never want to straighten it again!
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From what i've been reading , it seems like you are a perfectionist when it comes to hair ever since you were a little child . You want your hair to be 100% pretty . The fact is that now , your perfectionism has affected you badly because it makes you aggravate when your hair doesn't seem right . The question is , Are you willing to continue this behaviour of yours until you reach an old age ? Do you want your child to see in such a way in the future ? iI don't think so . One thing is that you need to believe that you , yourself are already perfect since the day you were born , no matter what . You will never get anywhere if you keep thinking that your hair is always messed up . Be the way you are and don't let people's opinions affect you (unless they do in a positive way) and never compare yourself to others . This is no small matter so you got to solve this quick ! Remember that you alone is special , everyone is and you can change it . You have the ability to change it but you need to be consistent and have the heart of bravery and courage to change yourself , and persevere it . Perfectionism in appearance could bring you attention , but it also brings you dissastifaction , aggravation , anger , madness , pressure and pain . Which one would you choose ? Plus you can style your hair in many ways . Change :))
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