Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32734
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
Random Weirdos
View All
Favorite Columnists
NinjaNeer
WittyUsernameHere
ThirdQED
|
| |
I'm 16, female, weigh 150 lbs., and am 5'7 (67 in.). I am an all year round athlete in lacrosse and swimming. I eat fairly healthy, I run a 7:40 minute mile. I just got my physical to play lacrosse yesterday and my weight and height were 150 and 5'7. I was totally fine with this because I have a lot of muscle and saw it as being normal for an athlete. That night when my dad saw the form, and my weight, he freaked and told me I was really over weight and needed to get down to 130. My dad has been on me about my weight since I was 10, but I felt like at least this was unnecessary. I have a lot of insecurities about my weight and continue to struggle with a little bit of a bulimia problem.
just tell me if you think I'm wrong and need to lose weight or my dad is wrong.
thanks. (link)
|
Girl you are fine
You are athletic, You eat healthy you are not doing anything wrong. Your father is wrong, You need to tell him to stop. I agree with the last person below me continue to kick butt in what you do! Your father probably isn't happy with himself. So what? Let him deal with his own issues. That is so wrong of your father to tell you too loose weight. I'm sure you are beautiful the way you are. Have a sit down with your father and explain to him that it makes you feel bad when he insults you about your weight and how it doesn't have a positive effect on what you do. Your father should love you no matter what, Not hound you to loose weight when you are healthy!
|
I think I may be 2 weeks pregnant. I've got urges to pee often, and now that it is the second week, my breasts have become a little sensitive. Are these symptoms? Can I take a home pregnancy test to confirm? Or to the hospital for a blood test? I will be going with a friend, so will the Doctor NOT expose the news in front of my friend too?
Thank you. (link)
|
Yes those are the symptoms, Also no your doctor can't spill the news in front of your friends. You are a patient and you have privacy rights. Yes you can take a home pregnancy test a good brand is First Response. You might also want to take two test just to get a more accurate result.
|
14-female
so the other week i had a dream i was pregnant and i obviously wasnt cause it was a drea but ever since then i cant stop thinking about being pregnant an sometimes i tend to sick pillows up my jumper to see how it feels to have a baby bump. is this normal i dont know what to do help ? (link)
|
You need to keep telling yourself YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG. I really think you should try spending time with someone that has a few kids and maybe then you will change your mind. Babies are cute yes, but they are MUCH more than just cuteness. Cribs alone cost 100 and up, Then you got the car seat that is 100 and up also...Then Formula, diapers, clothes, stroller, toys, and a million other things. Not to mention babies need regular doctors checkups and that if you don't have medical insurance is very expensive. They cry whenever they please and even if this means 2,3,4 in the morning. You need to get that out of your mind, You are just a kid. In my opinion people really should not be having children unless they are a good age and that means OVER 18. Have a good job (not minimum wage) A car, Their own place and have a steady relationship and by that meaning (Dating more than a year) Babies are forever, You can't get bored of them because once you have them they are YOUR responsibility. They are not a puppy where you can take care of it and leave it alone for a few hours. The baby will ALWAYS be there, When your sick and dead tired that baby will always need care.
You are young, You are not ready to have a baby. Enjoy life as a teenager and get yourself through High School.
|
THIS IS NOT NORMAL HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA. I'M BEGGING YOU TO READ THE WHOLE THING. PLEASE.
16/F
There's this guy at my school that has been literally obsessed with me for like two years.
He texts me constantly, and I used to text him back and we'd have these really cool intense conversations.
But then it got a little scary. About two months ago, he began to text me every single day like once every thirty minutes until I answered him back. And I'd have to answer him back, because if I didn't, he'd come up to me the next day at school and corner me at my locker and ask me to explain why I didn't answer him back. And he just would have this puppy dog look in his eyes, so he looked non-threatening, but he'd also be blocking my way out with his arms.
He's constantly leaving notes in my locker and on my desk in homeroom about how we're going to spend the rest of our lives together and have a bunch of kids. We are not dating.
I've told one of my friends about it, but it's embarrassing because I don't know what to do. Plus, he keeps telling me in every note not to tell anyone because they'll make fun of our "love" and he doesn't like it when people make fun of him.
This note thing has been going on for almost a month. And if he sees me flirting with a guy in the hall, he just gives me this look and then he'll corner me after school again. I'm allowed to flirt though, aren't I?? Well I can't anymore and I've stopped.
The puppy dog look has left his eyes by now.
And the reason why I've finally gotten up the courage to write this is because I'm all out of ideas. My friend that I told doesn't know what to do about it and she isn't really taking it seriously. And I'm too scared to go tell the guidance counselor about it because I'm pretty sure he'd find out somehow. (He tends to follow me around school). But the thing is that sent me over the edge is that he called me last night after school (today is Saturday), and his speech was slurred so I'm guessing he'd been drinking, but he said that he was planning on killing himself soon unless I:
1) stop flirting with other guys
2) stop talking to other people when he's around
3) have sex with him soon
He's crazy, right? What to I do? I was so scared last night that he was going to come over my house. I locked all the doors and I slept in my brother's room.
I don't want him to kill himself, obviously, but I also want him to leave me alone. I'm scared also too that with everything else that's going on (the notes about how we're going to be together forever) that if he does choose to kill himself, he's going to take me with him.
Please help, I'm so scared right now. (link)
|
Tell a teacher, guidance counselor, or even a parent. This guy has a problem and it is not right for him to be treating you this way. It is one thing to have a crush but this is just taking things WAY to far. If you are scared then well...You have a damn good reason to be. If telling a parent means that you also need to get a restraining order then go for it. This is not just a case of obsession but this is a serious case of harassment and abuse. Relax, Go to an adult and tell them everything that he is doing. Save the text messages and the notes and bring them to an adult. This is NOT normal it is a dangerous situation that really needs legal action in my opinion. After you tell an adult, You also might want to make sure you don't want down the hallway alone. Walk with a group of friends, You can also let the principal know what is going on and ask if it's possible they move your locker to another location. This guy is nuts and needs to get his damn head straight
|
I've been wanting to change my birth control methods to something safer than the pill and I ran across these intrauterine devices called Mirena. I don't really know much about the Mierna IUD though and was hoping that somebody could tell me some more about it before I see my doctor next month for my yearly check-up.
Are there any serious side effects of having the Mierna inserted? Is the Mirena safe to use as birth control? Does anyone have good or bad experiences with it (please share, if so)? All information is appreciated... (link)
|
Everyone is different but I was on the Mirena IUD for 2 years. At first it was great and everything I could hope for.. The periods were light, It was 99.9 effective and it lasted 5 years... That was until I started experiencing abdominal pains. Then I read up on how the Mirena can create scar tissue and possibly make you infertile.
|
|
so this guy and i liked each other. He started hearing things being said about me that weren't true. He stopped talking to me. And we just stopped talking all in all. It really hurt cuz i had liked him since the beginning of the year. A guy that he knows from school and I have a little thing now. Everytime he sees us or passes us by in the hall he makes sounds, not sexually oriented but just high picked like michael Jackson type "yee hee!"...and its so annoying...the first time he did it he was telling the guy i was walking with to hit that, that he better "own that", so i turned and yelled back "Don't worry, he will :)"..he got quiet.i didn't mean it but hewas just getting on my nerves..and then today he did the sounds again, and i just did them back, then he got quiet...i just don't know what to do or what to think because its really bugging me. I still like him...i just feel like its so unfair because we never had a chance. what do you guys think about the situation? (link)
|
No offense but I would have not of said "Don't worry he will" when he was making remarks about how he should get with you. He got quiet...therefore he could of got the wrong impression. Honestly, The guy sounds like an immature jerk think about it. You walk down the hall and makes these annoying noises and comments and then when you try to flirt back he gets all quiet? If he is into you then I would think he would find another way to approach you rather than being rude. "Own that, hit that, Tap that" are all really rude comments and makes you think he is nothing but a pig. Sorry to be harsh in a way but I'm just trying to be honest
|
hi 14f
I don't know if I have dry skin or not but i just put on my make up and my face feels real dry and itchy..would it make my face oily if i put some lotion on my face..i tried that before and my face felt like it was on fire haha Any thing i could do?? I don't want to by anything ..like all the expensive stuff. haha
thanks! (link)
|
You could be allergic
There are all kinds of foundation you could try another kind
Powder (I use and it I find it works the best)
there is also a liquid foundation
|
|
i recently got out of over a year and a half relationship tuesday. it was the happiest time of my life but he was a total jerk and i never realized it, my friends convinced me. he used me, cheated on me and broke me down. people keep saying the best way to get over him is to go out with someone else.. i dont really want a boyfriend right now, i still love my ex. but my friend wants to set me up with this guy that is honestly what iv always wanted in a guy and more in looks, hobbys, intrests and outgoingness but iv never met him and my friend wont be able to come when we meet. im still close with my ex even though he was an ass were staying good friends only. should i give the guy a chance or is it too soon, i want to wait but at the same time i need comfort what should i do? do you think its ok if i stay good friends with my ex too? we were bestfriends and instantly liked eachother when we met. 16/f (link)
|
Jumping into another relationship RIGHT after you just got out of one is NOT the answer. Don't ever let someone tell you that.
A year and a half is a good chunk of time to be with someone and if you just rush into another relationship well the chances of it not working out are more on the high side then it is low. You should give yourself time to move on, Focus on your happiness, Spend time with friends and family and just chill out for awhile. Tuesday was only 2 days ago...and usually it's good to wait more than two days before you decide to date someone else. Even more than a week...In my opinion a good month is a decent amount of time. (Depending on how long you've been in a relationship) Also, I know you said you have always wanted a guy more in looks but looks are not everything and there is so much more to a person then their appearance. Relax, There is no rush to dating and being with someone isn't a game or a race.
|
|
I have had ntelos for about a year with my mom. When i met my gf, I wanted to switch off onto my own account and have her on there. So we went into ntelos the dude said it was no problem and that I was approved for 2 lines no deposit. So after about a week when the switches was supposed to be made....they wasnt. The manager of that store said you were supposed to pay a $100 deposit. I said that we was told we didnt. So the manager said he would credit us here and there for payin the $100 since we was lied to and that something would be done about the guy that lied to us.....not...he still works in the store. So when things FINALLY switched over, we was supposed to have unlimited text, pics, and internet, and the manager knew that....well I get a text saying our account is over 500 some dollars. They forgot to add the data to my phone!! Then our phone bill was 33 dollars then within 12 hours it went up to 221!!! We have been in the store 30 plus times and nothing is ever done. They said to call the 1800 people, who dont help matters at all. They keep playing with us and delayed everything so after the 30 days we couldnt cancel. So we decided to go to sprint. Love the phone I got the selection of phones, the plan is amazing for us and I get 20% off because of where I work. ALSO I was approved for 3 lines NO DEPOSIT! No bull crap nothing. Well now ntelos wont help us out since we have been threw so much by us canceling, we have to pay 175 per line which I dont think is fair. They were very rude on the phone to us about this and I love sprint and do not want to leave them. They buy out contracts from time to time but not anytime soon. Ntelos has caused so much problems I dont even wanna pay it, but I know it shows up on your credit report. It has been a neverending nightmare that we just want to go away!!!!!!! We love sprint but what can we do about crappy ntelos? (link)
|
Wow,
Honestly, It sounds like you got screwed. You COULD sue the company but again that would be just as much of a hassle. If you don't have the money for a lawyer then maybe look into a public defender. Remember, It is a companies job to keep their customers and sometimes even if that means delaying things. Also, EVERY boss has a boss and if that means you have to go over their heads then let it be so. You could try calling the credit company and try explaining what happened. I have never really had this problem... but if I HAD to pay it well then the hell with them bill them 10 dollars a month. As long as you put something down every month then it can't hurt your credit. Remember if something sounds too good to be true then it probably is.
|
My ex and I dated for a year and we were close and really happy together. We would talk all the time and spend time together and he really seemed to care about me. Then over the summer going into senior year he broke up with me out of the blue saying he just lost feeling. so two weeks later he calls me and tells me he made a mistake and he wants me back so i get back together and we are fine and happy but then he breaks up with me a second time.. i know wow a jerk but idk he seems really confused about what he wants. so three months go by and we see each other on halloween and we end up getting back together, I KNOW SAD but look through that k well we dated a month and i get a phonecall ending it again so im done and i dont talk to him since. well just recently he saw me at church and then tuesday i get a friend request from him. k so he had deleted me on fb so i wrote him a message and he blocked me so a week goes by and he unblocks me, than an month he friends me... i think hes just really confused or idk what... y is he friending me? what should I do?
(link)
|
Your ex seems to be playing games with you, Not only is he acting like a jerk but toying with your feelings at the same time. If he broke up with you all these times what makes you think that this isn't just another one of his immature games? Give him a piece of his own game and tell him that you've moved on. Frankly, You deserve better anyway
|
My brother and I were looking at the bugs that were stuck together, so we figured they were probably mating, they were sort of on the concrete in our back yard and hanging around the edge near the grass. Then we shifted our gaze more towards the grass and noticed like thousands of little red bugs crawling all over the grass! My backyard is pretty big but there was like a layer of red bugs all over it. There was probably thousands of them!
A while ago we found an infestation of similar red bugs on a piece of wood out the back and it looked like they were eating it. So we sprayed them with heaps of bug spray and they mostly went away. But then a few weeks ago my sister and her friends were out the back and they noticed that the red bugs were on the log again. And sinse then I hadnt noticed any more bugs until today, when they are all over the whole yard!
It is really freaking me out and I dont want them to eat the house beause we dont have that much money, so we dont want to pay an exterminater for no reason.
Also, if it helps, the ones that looked like they were mating were a bit bigger and black with white on them, the smaller ones that are everywhere are pretty small and mostly red with a bit of black on them. Also there were ants and these big grey beetles that didnt seem too fussed about the red bugs being there.
Are these bugs bad? Should we get an exterminator? Do you think they are weird termites? (link)
|
If the problem has become so extreme that they are in the house and they are populating your backyard then yes you may want to seek an exterminator. However, There are products you can buy at a hardware store and there are many different kinds of bug spray. I'm not sure if these "bugs" were ants but if they were red ants then I would start to worry a little bit. I don't think it would hurt to hire an exterminator to check out the backyard.
|
What can I do to improve my youtube videos or do you like them as they are?
http://www.youtube.com/user/binabaybe
Checkk emm out.(:
(Editor's note: Check out the one titled "Kary's Comedy..." I always wondered why trolls got under bridges. Lol!) (link)
|
This is ADVICEnators not an advertising site, If you really want to know then ASK YOUTUBE. Although you have asked us what you can do to improve your videos you are still ADVERTISING your videos by posting them.
|
|
17/f my friend went on a diet and at first I didn't think anything of it, I mean it never hurts to lose a couple pounds. But my friend didn't lose a couple pounds. She probably lost like 30 pounds in like 2 months. She looks really bad. She iS not only a toothpick, but her eyes are so dark underneath and whenever she talks or smiles it looks like it hurts her face. I know most teenage girls go through the anorexic phase, but I think my friend took it too far. She promised she would stop a long time ago. Every time I see her she looks skinnier. She gets mad whenever I mention it, she looks like one of those mal nutritioned African kid. I don't know what to do. She's not even the same person anymore. She's always tired and in a bad mood. I think her mom is trying to help her but she told me she isn't doing what the doctor says. What should I do? (link)
|
Try talking to her mother about getting her into a rehab. It's not healthy to be a skeleton and not only does anorexia make you weak but depending on how extreme you take it...It can rot your teeth, hair loss and in time your organs can shut down.
|
|
I am 15, female. I have kinda become obsessive with my weight lately. Not to obsessive that I am becoming sick or anything, I wouldn't go to that extreme, I just weigh myself alot. I go running everyday, a mile and a half, I feel great when I'm done and I eat healthy, I don't snack, I workout on my wii fit when I can, with not much homework. So, it got me thinking, is 134.6 normal for a 15 year old girl who is 5'2 and pretty active? I have big bones, that's what my mom says, that part of me is genetic I just want to know is 134.6 considered normal for 15 year olds? thanks. (link)
|
You are fine, 134 lbs at 5'2 is a healthy weight.
There is nothing wrong with having big bones, I have them too.
|
15/f
i'm in a very difficult situation. my best friend is a guy, he's my age, and i have known him my entire life. he truly is like a brother to me. we went to grade school together, grew up together, and now we go to different high schools, but we're still good friends. recently, i started talking to his brother more. his brother is an 8th grader, and he was considering coming to the high school that i go to. we got to be very close over the past few months. i started to have feelings for him, even though i know i shouldn't. he's an extremely smart and sweet guy, and a perfect gentleman. he's honestly more mature than his older brother. he just turned 14. about 3 days ago, he told me that he likes me. so i told him i liked him too. we've literally been talking nonstop since, only stopping to sleep. but i'm afraid if i do anything about this, i'm either going to hurt his older brother, my best friend, or i'm going to get hurt bc of the age difference. help me? (link)
|
I disagree with the last person below age in my opinion DOES matter. If you are 15 dating a 25 year old then yes that would be a problem not only would that be illegal but disgusting also. However, you are 15 and he is 14 years old so no there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you like him and he likes you then why not try it out? I know you feel like you might hurt your best friend but dear at the same time you'd like to think he had plenty of time to express himself don't you think? Try talking to him let him know how you are feeling, If anything he should be happy for you. Communication is the key and it is also apart of a great relationship. Try talking to your friend and see how it goes. You never know what you are missing unless you try.
|
I woke up this morning with Violent Stomach Cramps, so bad i almost cried. Initially i thought i had to go to the bathroom, but I was unable to poo. (lol). 40 Minutes later my stomach ache had only gotten worse so i made myself throw up. It was the most painful experience ive been through since ive had surgery like 4 years ago.
My boyfriend and i never use condoms and i was just wondering if painful stomach cramping could be associated with being pregnant?
Any insight would be helpful, thanks! (link)
|
It COULD be your period
It COULD be a medical condition that needs attention
It COULD be you are pregnant
I am not a doctor, but I will lay out the symptoms of pregnancy for you.
Frequent Urination
Cramping
Morning Sickness
Tender Breast
Lower Back Aches
Headaches
Cravings
If these are signs you are experiencing you may want to take a pregnancy test.
If you are having trouble with bowel movements you may also want to try to add fiber to your diet.
|
heyy so i have a question that needs to be answered by saturday because thats when the date is!!! This cute guy asked me outt and we've been texting. I only met him once at a dance (but don't worry i know him through friends) so i really only talked to him in person for a little bit and i know he wants to hook up with me this weekend. I mean he seems really into me but we only met once and pretty briefly! I'm just nervous because i've really only hooked up with a guy once, i mean i've kissed guys but never really in a date like situation except one time, where its just us together, one on one all night.
I know he wants to hook up and i do too its just that first of all I'm really self conscious about my body. I'm short but not really thin so I'm worried if we're laying down and i get on top of him I'll just be really uncomfortable same with if he tries to feel me up just because I'm not comfortable with my body. Also I'm worried about being a bad kisser! i mean the last guy i hoked up with didn't have any complaints! But I'm just worried since I only met this kid once and we're gonna hang out and he won't like em or will think i'm a bad kisser.
I know this is stupid and I guess it's just nerves but doesn't anyone ever feel like this or have any advice!? Thanks so muchhhh (link)
|
You don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to do. If you want things to work out and go smoothly then DON'T rush things, If you do...Well then you only gave him another reason to think that you are easy to get with. Do not feel like you have to do anything with a guy, It is your body. At least give yourself that much self respect to do things when YOU feel you are ready and comfortable. I personally don't believe in hook ups, one night stands etc. This is where girls/guys sometimes dig themselves a deep hole. They go out and do something dumb and regret it later on down the line. Save yourself for someone you have been with and know really well. Trust me, You won't regret it that way
|
im on a strict 500-900(TOPS) cal a day. i have like 500 on one day and 700 on another- the most all ever have is 900 but thats like barely.
then whenever im with a certain friend i ALWAYS binge so its like sat-sun i go totally all out and off.
then i start fresh monday.
is this bad? will i gain weight? can i loose weight?
(dont say stop hanging with this friend... im working on it)
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK IM REALLY WORRIED. (link)
|
STARVING yourself is NOT going to get you to loose weight, If anything your body will store fat because it thinks you aren't going to feed it.
My advice... SEE A NUTRITIONIST
|
|
Okay, so recently to sum my story up short, My Boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5years. In the past I have caught him maybe 2yrs ago lying about girls he had slept with and he put it all out on the table who and what he lied about. 2 years later here we are he lied to me again saying he was going to sleep Friday night because he had to "work" saturday morning an I didn't trust him at all because his whole story about working had been changing, because he lives out of town also! He just recently moved away as well, so he said basically he couldn't come into town because he had to work. I trusted that he said he had to work even though things were sketchy! SO I called his friend later that night he picked up the phone an hungup an I heard music playing , eventually Travis called an chewed me out saying he was sleeping an stop calling him. I just so happened to check his account and see he was lying and at a nude bar? I kept thinking why would he lie, I caughthim an drove all the way to south carolina to fix things with him NOTE:i didnt do anything wrong, I think any female would have done the same an checked up on their bf of 5 YEARS. So he is wanting to break up because I went on his online banking and he foundout tuesday I tried logging in again and he changed his password so I couldn't go on an I assumed maybe he was hiding stuff and questioned him about it? I wrote him a long email saying if he wanted closure I will give it to him an called him that night to talk, this time he wasnt yelling at me on the phone he listened an just commented saying I dont trust him an never did, an that's why he did it an tried to get away with it because he knew I wouldn't approve of him going out like he did. Well needless to say we ended the convo on good terms he said he would call me and hasn't called yet, it's been about a day now! SO I want to know am I wrong? What can I do to fix it? I told him I would go to counseling to do whatever it took to make it work an would trust him but at the same time he has to gain that back from me? I don't know what more to do I have talked to al kinds of people at work, managers everything and have no clue what to do?? ANY advice would be appreciated , Thank you SO much! (link)
|
DUMP HIM!
The guy obviously can't be faithful, He can't be honest and he can't RESPECT you. Not only has the guy lied in the past but he can't seem to keep a clean plate. Counseling or not, Your boyfriend is going to do whatever he wants to do. If you two can't talk it out and try to work on it then what in gods name makes you think a counselor is going to fix it for you? Honestly, The guy sounds like he is an immature dick. No, You didn't end the conversation on good terms HE ended the conversation seeking the easy way out. Why waste your time with a man whore? You could be spending all this time finding someone better. Don't let the guy keep lying to your face. Move on
|
ok, so i've learnt my lesson to never ever have sex without a condom, even if the guy doesnt cum in me.. The pre-cum can still get u pregnant. Its been just over a week, is there any way of finding out if i'm pregnant, other than getting the blood test and other box tests you can get over at the pharmacy.
If this helps, i was on my period when we had sex without a condom. And right now, i'm sort of still on my period, its just little brown stuff right now. So..? What does that mean? Could i be pregnant even though i'm sort of still on my period?
Thank you.. (link)
|
Yes, You can still get pregnant while you are on your period. If you get your period a few days after you've had sex it certainly really wouldn't hurt to take a test just to be on the safe side.
No matter what you do, There is always a chance
|
|