I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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is it true that men only have female friends because they want to screw them, and u all only stick around in hopes that u all get a chance to screw them.....because there is no way a man and a woman can truly be just friends????
I had heard Steve Harvey make this comment on his show, so I thought I'd ask folks what they thought....thanks for the answers (link)
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Steve Harvey is a stand up comic and excels at observational humor or taking something and morphing it into something else we may not have even considered thinking about. It's a joke based on this kind of perception. Sure, in this world there are indeed men like he describes out to do those things and take advantage of women. I won't deny that but for every 1 there are thousands also those who value women, can be friends and not interested in anything sexual with them.
Relationships can of course evolve into sexual but most men don't have ulterior motives and aren't starting from that place. Having said that women and men both need to figure out who is genuine, has character, morals, values and who is playing games or hasn't good intent in platonic and romantic relationships. It's not easy to do but if someone or something feels wrong than trust that feeling.
The majority of men aren't just out to "screw" members of the opposite sex and can actually have lasting friendships and be loyal without anything beyond that and it's normal and happens all the time.
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has anyone seen her in concert? if so how was it? I recently bought her cd and love every song, her voice is so funky...well, I would like to see her in concert...the General Admission tickets are $35 bucks each but when done with taxes and fees for two tickets, price will be a lil under $100.00...anyway...if anyone has see her how was it, and how was the seating arrangements, or do you have to stand forever, was there any pushing and shoving? the vip package is 110 bucks each which includes the opportunity to enter the venue early to check out her soundcheck in an intimate environment, followed by a Q&A session where you can ask her questions to get to know her a bit more. You will also receive a limited edition poster and autographed photo to take with you.... I guess u can call that a meet n greet.. (link)
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I have only seen her at the Democratic National Convention. She's not my cup of tea but that will not influence my answer to your question.
The General Admission tickets at first look tempting but there are a few things to consider. Depending on the venue itself they may be tickets at front of stage or floors where you have to stand all night and crowd around to see or look above other's heads on the main level of the venue. It may be great if you can get to the front but the minute you have to pee you lose your spot and have to struggle back. Not worth it.
The other thing they could be are tickets somewhere in the venue perhaps high up that are overflow seats and you're in a room standing room only trying to look down several stories at the stage and listening to a bad sound mix if anything of show depending on venue.
The best thing to do is call the fan services line at the venue and or ticketmaster or whomever sells the tickets and ask what does the $35 ticket get you and where do you stand all night to know what you get.
The $110 experience sounds great but does it include an actual concert ticket? If it does than this sounds best because you are getting the Q&A, sound check and gifts. Perhaps if you did a $35.00 ticket plus this than your experience would be worth it on a low budget.
Also, you may find lower priced tickets from the venue or ticketmaster in all sections if you are going solo. Also, look on line for the hours of the venue's own in person box office as 99.9% of the time they have a better block of seats available and none of the BS fees ticketmaster charges on top. They can show you section by section what your money will get you.
As far a pushing and shoving that's why they have security guards but it's up to those guys and girls to notice and step in or to notice if called upon to solve an issue. Generally speaking most are overwhelmed or not able to control a crowd especially when they all try to surge to the front of the stage when the main act comes on.
A lot of that has to do with the kind of fans the act attracts from being sophisticated to being rock fans or teens. I would ask the venue about all of this or ticketmaster to get a sense of options and what works best. In most arenas I would leave the General Admission ticket alone and go to the first reserved section I can afford. It may not be the best seat in the place but at least you can sit down and take in the concert, use the restroom, watch the video monitor and eat comfortably.
It's all about comfort and loose fitting clothes and shoes for arenas are hot, sweaty places if packed in like sardines trying t get to the front.
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Hi. I am a 14 year old female. I have the Norplant Implant and I have got a boyfriend, who I have been with for 5 and a half months now. My mother says I am not allowed to meet my boyfriends family because she says she doesn't know if they will be in the house or not. She knows I want to have sex with my bf, but I have condoms and the implant. The implant is working, so why is she being unreasonable?! She has also said that if I get pregnant, then I am not allowed even the morning after pill. I am not allowed an abortion unless I am raped, but if I want an abortion, I want an abortion. It's my body. What should I do? My mother is staunch on what she has said, and I'm barely allowed to even see my boyfriend. I just want to do stuff, and I know we will be safe cos we are both virgins, I have the implant and we are gonna use condoms cos we are not dense. What should I do? I am from Europe. (link)
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Your mother is legally responsible for you until you are 18-years-old. You may not be able to understand it but she's been around a long time and knows that without a high school diploma, a well paying job, place to live and help from others that raising a child for 18 years is tough business.
At 14-years old you are in no way emotionally or physically ready to handle any of it. As far as an abortion goes few doctors would be willing to do that procedure on someone this young unless raped, in physical danger, child severely deformed etc. There is lasting physical and emotional problems and wounds that go with it and same with any pill.
Just because you have the implant it should not be taken as a licence to have protected or unprotected sex. There's more to it than the physical there's the emotional and being mentally and physically ready and able to handle pregnancy if it occurs. Your mom isn't stupid and knows you well that you would likely rush into it because of the implant without thinking.
It's not that she doesn't want you to have a boyfriend or know his family or see them. Mom just wants t be sure you are supervised and not engaging in activity you really aren't ready for and as your guardian has right to do. Also, this guy has only been around short term 5 months. Who is to say this will be long lasting or if he has sex with you now that he will be around later. I think you need to think about all of this before making any decision about sex because it's not a flippant thing.
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Ok so I'm 15 in i just wanted to know that wen I go to the doctor will the doctor tell my parents if I have been fingered ? Im confused please help (link)
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Unless you tell him/her they won't know and even if they did wouldn't care as it's common. The only time they can tell confidential info abut health to parents or a spouse is when you are in harms way, of harm to self or others or otherwise unable to speak for yourself or take care of yourself or in crisis. It's fine.
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Ok, so as a 17 yr old first time mommy, I was wondering what other people thought about his situation. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and I live with my boyfriends parents. My parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant and my bf is away at college. I have become super close to my bf's mom in the time that I have stayed there. Would it be weird if I asked her to be in the Delivery Room with me? My boyfriend and his family are the only ones that are supporting me through this and I feel I will need all the support I can get. I figured it might also be a treat for her as she only had four sons and this might be the only time she will ever be able to be in the Delivery Room for the birth of one of her grand babies. (link)
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If this is what you want then there is nothing wrong with that at all. I believe you are allowed 2 people plus your partner. Although you may have tension with your real mother perhaps extending the invite as a courtesy may help resolve issues there too. Bottom line it's about what you feel comfortable with and your choice.
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Today was the penultimate day of the school year My friend came up with an idea to pull an awesome prank as a way to end with a bang. The idea was to vandalise the school. I disagreed with him about it but he wanted me to come with him to homework club where he had planned the vandalism. I was trying to do my homework while he was doing the vandalism. He typed the f word on all the computers, and drew a squiggle on the whiteboard and he also write f the school on the blackboard. There was no teacher in the room at the time so i thought he might get away with it. I finished my homework at the same time he finished his vandalism. But just as we were walking out, a teacher walked in and saw the vandalism and me and my friend. She told us to get out of the room, (i dont know if its because of the vandalism or because she had to be somewhere) but i have this teacher 1st period tommorow so im worried if i'll get in trouble or if my friend'll get in trouble. Im scared. What would your advice be? (link)
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Tell the teacher privately that this person told you what they wanted to do as a prank and was bent on vandalism and doing something destructive and or far worse than what he had done.
Tell her that you were asked to partake and wisely said no but had no idea what was coming with the whiteboard and computers in the school and were just as shocked as she was when he did it and she walked in and had no idea how to stop it.
This teacher may already know that this kind of thing is out of character for who you are and may in fact want you to confront her or hope that you do. I don't know if this room is monitored by any camera but perhaps they can see who is doing destructive things with school computer equipment or the room itself.
I would arrive early tomorrow and someway seek out the teacher yourself for a few private minutes to explain and then let them handle it and or not. If you get in trouble you'll know you did nothing wrong but may face less punishment than the so-called friend.
The other thing the teacher knows is that teenage boys and girls for that matter do stupid stuff like this and that since nothing was destroyed and the computer could be changed back and an obscene word erased on a blackboard that it's NOT as huge as actually destroying real property or writing on walls itself.
She may scold you but everyone knows there's way more severe things that were not done or perhaps the other kid talked about that you telling the truth could thwart. No matter what, honesty is best and approaching this teacher is a good call.
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I'm a female and 22 years old. This is a long question so I appreciate anyone who takes time to read this and help!
I met this guy on Tinder one Sunday in June. He was super nice and really good at carrying a conversation. We exchanged phone numbers and started texting later that day.
Once we started texting, we texted all day every day during that first week. During the first week of texting, he asked me to hang out every day but I kept saying no because I wasn't sure how much I liked him. In the beginning, I was kind of just talking to him because I liked the attention he gave me. However, over time, I started to like him more and more.
He told me the reason he kept asking me to hang out so much was because he was going out of town for a week and a half and wanted to meet me before that. I told him that we could hang out once he got back in town, if he still wanted to.
So he went out of town and when he was gone, we continued to text all day every day. We were also snap chat friends and snap chatted regularly. He would always compliment my looks, saying that he thought I was gorgeous and beautiful. We even started talking on the phone at night. We talked on the phone 4 or 5 times, and 3 of the times we talked for 2 and a half hours. While we talked about each other's lives, he always made it a point to tell me how much he liked me and how much he enjoyed talking to me. Just to give you an idea, he even said "have you met anyone from Tinder before in person?" and when I said no, he said "Well hopefully once you meet me, you won't have to meet anyone else." We had such a good time talking on the phone that I started to like him more and I started to think that I would actually want to meet up with this guy.
When we were talking on the phone, he asked me if I would want to hang out the night he got back in town. I thought about it, and told him the next day that I did want to hang out. So, we continued to text all day, and talked on the phone as well.
The day of the date arrives and we were texting scarcely. He kept telling me how excited he was to hang out and how much fun we were going to have. I decided to meet him at his apartment and he would drive us to dinner from there. I was so nervous, but the second we met, my nerves went away. We had a lot of fun on the date - we went out to dinner, then we walked around the park next to the lake, and then got some wine and went back to his apartment. We watched some tv, drank wine, cuddled, and made out. I left around 1030 at night and he said "I don't want you to go." But since I had to work the next day, I was like "I have to." So he kissed me goodbye and I left. He texted me on the way home saying "Hey I had a lot of fun. I hope you did too. Hope you got home safely."
The next day, he texted me, and things were good. However, we didn't text as much as we had before we met. Then the next couple of days come, and we start texting less and less. This really had me worried because I thought maybe he wasn't feeling me anymore. I was confused because I thought that we had a really good time on our date so I didn't know why he was texting less and less. It was 3 days after we hung out and we were texting and I asked him if he wanted to hang out over the weekend. He said that he wanted to and he could make that work on Sunday. I told him that worked for me, and that it would be a good time. He replied "no doubt in my mind it will be a good time." This gave me some reassurance.
We were still barely texting on Friday and Saturday, so when Sunday came I texted him saying I had an idea for our hang out. I told him, and he replied "that sounds like fun but I won't be able to. I'm not feeling well and need to rest. Hope that's okay, I like you, I just need to rest." So I was bummed and clearly thought he wasn't interested. However, he did say "tomorrow?" so we rescheduled our plans for Monday. Later that day (Sunday, the day we were supposed to hang out), he asked me if I wanted to go to his apartment and hang out and drink some wine. I said yes. I got to his apartment around 10 that night. Same as the first time we hung out at his apartment, we watched TV, cuddled, and made out. We did hook up a little bit further than that, but we did not sleep together. We had a lot of fun, we talked about personal things, as well as the other stuff I mentioned. It wasn't only sexual. He asked me to stay the night and told me that he didn't want me to leave. We were talking about watching Sports Center on TV and I made a comment like oh I'm not into it, and he said "get used to it because its something I always watch." He was being sweet and nice, calling me pet names like "sweetheart" and "babe." When it was time to go, he walked me outside to my car and kissed me goodbye, hugged me and said "see you tomorrow."
So Monday comes, I ask him if he can still hang out, and he cancels our plans because him and his friends got tickets to a sports game. We don't text again that day. I didn't text him on Tuesday because I wasn't sure what was going on. He didn't text me, so we didn't talk that day. So, then Wednesday, I wanted to see if he would text me, he didn't. So I texted him and he replied "Hey! thought maybe you were mad at me, you didn't text me yesterday." I told him I was bummed, and he apologized and said that he thought he told me he was trying to go to that game. I told him it wasn't a big deal. So, we talked on Wednesday and he was more talkative than he had been. However, he stopped texting me in the middle of a conversation and I haven't heard from him since. It's been 11 days. My birthday was just this past Friday, and he knew it was my birthday, and he didn't wish me happy birthday. He still looks at all of my snap chat stories, but doesn't reach out to me.
Do you think I did something wrong? Do you think it was all an act until he met me? Maybe he changed his mind? I cannot stop thinking about him/the situation. Do you have any advice for how I can move on from this? I want an explanation but I don't want to reach out because I don't want to appear "crazy" or clingy. However, at the same time, I can't help but think that maybe he thinks he did something wrong and I'm the one that lost interest. Even though I texted him later that day Wednesday, and snap chatted him twice later that week. Do you think I just need to accept it and move on?
sorry for the long question, I appreciate anyone who actually reads this and helps me out. Thanks!! (link)
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I just have to address the safety issue here first. If you don't know someone aside from their profile on the Internet or an APP be bloody careful about meeting them in public anywhere let alone their apartment or places where alone or you frequent and they can pick up on it.
Always meet in a public place where if something goes wrong there's people who can provide assistance or you can get away from the person easily and end the evening.
Now that this is out of the way it seems you have fallen for who you think he is and what he's told you without really knowing him. He's mentioned other girls and probably is chatting them up too and meeting through the app and not taking people or feelings seriously. He's lost interest and has thrown you aside and may wish you would do the same and move along.
I doubt he will contact you again but if he did let him know that he has to be 100% honest, not with another person and genuinely in to you or forget it and not to use people or try to and then discard them. More or less this is what Tinder is for random hookups and nothing lasting from all I have heard about it.
You have to get back to the point that you really don't know this guy and he doesn't really know you between texts, e-mails, a couple of dates so though this was disappointing you should move on and realize none of this was because of you. In fact, when something like this ends it may be because it wasn't meant to be or you are being protected from someone or something bad as life tends to do for us from time to time if we're in a bad situation or about to be. It sounds based on his own admission he's into multiple women here and who knows what he's told them all or who he really is, motives and if married. Thing is with dating apps and Internet you never know.
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I've been seeing my current boyfriend for about a month and a half now, but didn't start having sex with him until he made us official. Since then I've had sex with him a handful of times and I'm just not enjoying it which is a bit shocking to me, because I really enjoyed the sex with my ex and considered myself to have a high sex drive.
I think half of it is mental for me. I feel like he almost expects sex now because I can usually predict when he's going to start making a move for it. However, I know this isn't really true because I've said no before and he totally respected my decision and we went on about the night cuddling and everything. I think part of this is that my exes have always constantly wanted sex anytime they saw me and I would feel pushed into it or like I had to.
Another issue is I'm still nervous about doing it with him and just trying really hard to make him happy. He's had 4 sexual partners before me and I've only has 2 so I'm also really stressed out about that. I'm scared I don't measure up to them and it's always on my mind in the bedroom.
The other half is physical. I really need foreplay to get aroused. I'm not like those girls in the movie who can just be prepared to have sex anytime anywhere. I'm trying so hard to make him happy though that I've just been submitting to him for the most part when he wants it and I'm not ready and it winds up being really painful for me (which I haven't told him). It doesn't help that I'm very petite so already I'm smaller than most girls. He's larger than the other men I've been with too.
He keeps offering to do oral on me first, but I'm not comfortable with that with him yet. My exes considered going down on a girl as "disgusting" so that's kind of stuck in my head now and whenever he tries I immediately get very uncomfortable and stop him.
I do like being fingered, but I don't know how to bring this up to him. He's tried a little bit before, but he doesn't really seem to know how to do it right and it winds up not feeling like anything.
If I was prepared, I feel like the sex would be great because he's into all kinds of positions and can last for quite a long time, but I've just been in so much pain and afraid to tell him that I haven't gotten off at all where as he.
I was also thinking we should probably buy lubricant because I keep getting dry (which is weird for me too because usually I get really wet and stay that way) but again I feel like this is a really awkward thing for me to ask.
How do I go about resolving these issues? I'm so upset about it that I'm not comfortable having sex with him again unless I can figure out how to make it better because I'm sick of being in pain. (link)
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The key here is to RELAX. Let whatever you have been worked up about out of your mind because if you are super tense in your approach to sex you can't possibly enjoy it with any partner.
You need to communicate and be honest with him that your previous experience is limited and were fearful he would envision his previous partners or some fantasy girl because you weren't satisfactory or as experienced as him.
I'm 100% positive he isn't thinking this but you need to let him know you feared it for reassurance. How do I know? He keeps wanting to engage in it with you. Odds are you are all the partner he really wants.
I think he knows that something is troubling you and that you aren't having a good time and that's why he's offering to do X, Y, Z act. You need to tell him that it's hurting because you are dry and that you need a lot of foreplay but are in to trying positions and different things once you feel comfortable and can relax. That's all it is being relaxed with him and telling him what you need and in the end it will work out. As for the pain try a lubricant as it doesn't sound like aroused how could you be? If that doesn't work asking an OB/GYN why intercourse is painful when it wasn't before may be helpful.
Also, if there is something you really enjoy and he doesn't know about there's nothing at all wrong in telling him about it as it may make things more enjoyable for the both of you and guiding him.
It's unfortunate that your previous partners were immature and found certain sexual practices which society deems as normal to be downright disgusting and give you this mental block or idea there's something wrong with you or it. Just because they acted that way to it doesn't mean that he would to you. If it's something you both want communicate and work towards. You should tell him how your partners made you feel about it in past. He'll get it.
I think you need to relax, talk with your boyfriend about past experiences, hang ups and realize you are with a person who cares and wants you as comfortable with this and him as possible.
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3 days ago, I woke up experiencing major pain & itching in my vaginal area, when I went to the bathroom, I seen little white scab like things stuck in the opening of my vagina. I googled what it could be & many said it was a yeast infection. I called my doctor the next day & he prescribed me one day dose of fluconazole over the phone. I immediately took the pill (2 days ago) & have not yet received any kind of relief. Now I'm questioning whether or not it is actually a yeast infection. I inspected my vaginal area last night & noticed a little bump next to my clitoris & another one inside of my vagina lip (I forgot what it's called) & there's A LOT of thick discharge. It hurt to urinate, BUT it does burn if the urine happens to touch my vagina. Is this really a yeast infection, or something worse? (link)
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You will need to call this doctor back and explain that you took the medication as directed and waited but nothing improved and that it now looks worse. Get an appointment to have him/her look at it and diagnose what you have correctly.
We aren't doctors at this site and anything we say would be guesswork at best and may in fact mislead or inadvertently harm so we can't and that's to your benefit believe it or not. We also cannot see what you are describing either.
In general if there is weird discharge and that which causes burning, itching, looks like cottage cheese or smells you have a problem. I doubt it's anything dire not an STD or somethig you will die from but rather a pain in the ass for the time being until checked and remedied.
Be sure to ask the doctor why you got this and what you need to do if anything different to ensure you don't experience it again or with any frequency in future. The only other thing to consider is how long the medication they gave you takes to do what it is supposed to. Look that up online and then book your appointment if that duration lapsed.
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This weekend I have a soccer tornament on the beach. My teammates and their families will be there. On Monday I started my period. I didn't tell my mom because normally I don't and I thought it may end by the weekend. It hasn't and we will be swimming and going on water rides. How do I ask my mom what to do ? I know I can't go in with out a tampon but I don't think she's knows I know that. I need to tell her soon but I don't know how to. (link)
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Here's what I would do. Ask your mom to take you to Walmart or Target that you need some supplies for the beach. Find a box of tampons and stick them in the cart. She will purchase them and nothing more need be said. That's the bold way if embarrassed.
Speaking of embarrassed you sure shouldn't be be because every girl and woman menstruates and runs up against this issue or similar. You're all in the same boat so I'm sure if you asked your mom exactly what to do she would help you so you could enjoy the beach and not worry about a period wrecking it. I'm 100% sure if you just ask her for what you need or your options it will be fine. Parents always come through when something is difficult to handle or discuss. That's what she is there for to guide you.
The other thing you should consider is cramps associated with your period if you have those look into options that alleviate them and ask your mother about that as it's the one thing that could really affect your enjoyment of swimming and riding watercraft and could affect your soccer performance. Other than this you should be good to go.
Another thing you could do is go with a female adult or friend from school that you trust to a pharmacy or store and buy what you need yourself or have an adult female or older teen give you advice and help you get what you need.
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I am 13 and my grandma bought all her grandkids season passes to a local amusement park 1 hour away for my family 2-3 for the rest of my family and I cant get my parents to take me there are free passes that come with the season passes so money isn't a problem ways to persuade my parents to take me. (link)
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If they are unavailable to go I would consult the Internet for the web site to the public transit system in your area. There are often buses that go directly into amusement parks and or in front of them.
If you stay on the bus and get off and go directly into the park you can navigate it with a park map and are completely safe there. If they don't like the idea of going alone find an older friend, teenager or adult who may want to go or go with a friend's family or better yet get all the grandchildren together who have passes like you do and go on the same day.
Point out to your parents that it's almost August and that the passes were worth quite a bit and you really want to go and use them and try to work something out. Public transit is your best bet. Find out what routes go to the park or use their web site or phone number to ask them.
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My Third Year results were out some days ago.I am doing 4 year Computer Science course.It came much as a shock because i ended up scoring a meagre 76%.. my friends scored like heavily with everyone in my group above 90. I am not jealous of their results. Infact i am happy they scored so they can get a job. I am planning on my Masters so wont be taking a job. I even helped a friend in maths in a position where if she failed she would have to repeat an entire year. I knew my efforts were there. And ironically i taught n helped these guys out. Its really kinda depressing. Help needed (link)
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I would not be depressed with a 76% when others weren't successful at passing and that it's an extremely heady subject and difficult material to study and retain. 76% is respectable and in the B range with 80s being A and then higher. Don't obsess about it as employers down the road will only care about what degree you have and not what mark you got.
Be happy with yourself for passing and for being able to help other people. You did all you could. Don't measure your success by what others scored either or be depressed. Take the lessons the exam taught you and roll on to the next thing and strive to score higher next time. That's all you can do.
Explain to your prof that you tutored others that scored higher than you did and were well to put it bluntly bummed. Ask them to show you what you could have done differently to score higher and or missed. Read the comments on the exam and take all of this in and use it to propel yourself even further. That works and was what I always did when confronted with a mark I wasn't satisfied with.
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Im a 15 y/o female and I started masterbating quite young, but about 6 or 7 months ago I started using the ends of sharpies. Earlier today I was masterbating with 2 sharpies, once I was finished and I looked at them I noticed that they had some brownish-red looking blood on them. I went to the bathroom and grabbed some toilet paper and tried to clean myself, they too had some blood. It wasnt a lot lot, but enough to be alarming and be like "hey, somthings not right here". There was no pain and I haven't started my period yet, so it cant be that. I also dont think it was my hymen, I think I broke that a long time ago or maybe I just wasnt born with one. Even if it was my hymen (probably not) why would I now just start bleeding when I have fingered myself and used sharpies in the past? Either way, I am worried that it might be something big or it might get Infected. I also really dont want to tell my mom because its embarrassing even though I know that masterbating is perfectly normal and she most likely does it too. So if anyone can help me figure this out and what I can do, or if its something worse, a way to tell my mom it was an "accident" would be greatly appreciated. (link)
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I wanted to recommend a site to you and your mother designed by professional sex-educators and staffed by them that includes 100% factual articles, essays and forum where teens and parents can get answers and facts about sexuality and can be anonymous. It's called Scarleteen. www.scarleteen.com. I would use it to open up a dialogue about sex and any topic related to it with her.
Dragonfly gave you excellent and thorough advice which I won't rehash. I wanted to add that since you have been doing this since a very young age that no doubt she may have inadvertently noticed or probably figures you do as it's pretty much universal with your age group with hormones etc.
Also, society tends to equate masturbation with sex but it's not like that. When young people begin as you did it could be about something comforting, something that felt good or relieved stress and as puberty and adulthood set in be about hormones, sexual thoughts etc.
You mom won't be phased by any of this. I think the only thing tat would upset her is that you were quite scared, didn't know what to do and felt you couldn't approach her. She would be happy you found sound advice though but you should approach her about anything. Believe me with drugs, sex and all kind of other problems parents need to worry over this ranks low.
I don't know how she will feel about novelty items but I'm sure she would want you using something clean and safe and meant for this practice than not. Anyways, I think the resource above will help you both be able to talk about sexuality easier.
Although you are 15-years-old and probably have had sex-ed classes you might find the Lynda Madaras books What's Happening To My Body which has an edition for boys and one for girls very helpful too. I would get both books as it explains a lot of things easily.
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22/f
I have recently started suspecting that my mother may in fact be a narcissist. As I researched the subject further,it all started to make sense. It was now clear why she only acknowledges me if I do something that could be labeled as a success. Why she always yelled at me when I got sick,saying I was a burden to her then later apologized and said she was only worried about me. Why she twists my words and makes me feel like I don't even know what I'm saying. The list goes on...
She has even gone so far to demonize my boyfriend who she NEVER even met. She claims she did this because he is not worthy of me (as her arguments she used that he doesn't have a PhD,he is not rich nor exceptionally handsome.)
I struggled to explain to her that he is worthy and is the nicest guy I've ever dated but it was futile. I have to see him in secret now in order to maintain our relationship.
He and I are planning to move abroad next year to pursue a better life. When this time comes,I want her out of my life. She has done so much damage that I just cannot wait to be free of her. But I'm worried that this makes me a bad person. Am I evil and a spoiled brat for simply wanting peace after a 22-year-long destructive mother-daughter relationship? (link)
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Wikipedia defines "Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder, characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.[1] People with the disorder are often perceived as arrogant, callous, envious and tend to be exploitative in their interpersonal relationships. They can be excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity. Those with NPD generally lack emotional awareness and insight into their own condition, and fail to acknowledge that their behavior is at the root of their own problems as well as the problems they cause for others because, as a personality disorder, their thoughts, perceptions, and actions are generally consistent with their sense of self."
From what you have written you haven't shown us that she is always like this or concerned with her own adequacy, power, prestige, vanity nor have you shown us that she has a lack of empathy for anyone including yourself. Furthermore, such an illness has to be diagnosed by a doctor and believe me if she had this they would do something to address it. Don't self diagnose.
I hate to be blunt but from what I know about mental health and from the tone of your letter perhaps the problem you think she has and are labeling her with may in be your own but you cannot see it as such which is common.
Perhaps it is you unaware as most are that these characteristics exist with you including being too concerned with self and not understanding that you are a bit of a burden to her apology or not.
She wants you to excel in life and does really love you but feels at time you overwhelm her and are a burden in certain instances and perhaps you are. I have from your letter no evidence of 22 years of abuse either.
As far as the guy goes she has high standards for her daughter and wants you with someone who is stable and successful. If she never met him I cannot see the argument he isn't handsome. As far as judging him by his cover goes and making remarks that may be wrong but it comes from a place of caring too much.
If she met him and saw how he cares for you perhaps she would cease. I don't think it's healthy to date someone in secret as it's not fair to him and overall. She may not like it but make her aware.
I think before you wrote this letter that you had decided to throw in the towel and move with this guy. You are entitled to do so but don't think for a moment that this is going to be the perfect life either or solve all your issues as it may not work to live abroad or with him long term.
Your relationship with your mother whether you see it or not is an important one and one you should strive to maintain despite frustrations. It would be in your best interest to get professional counselling on your own or even joint to work through this, your feelings of being damaged and intense animosity as this is not healthy to hold to. Through it you can repair a relationship and perhaps have the one you really wanted develop. If there's an illness on either part it can be taken care of.
A lot of people with the disorder you mentioned always think people are out to get them no matter what their relationship and that all their words are forever twisted and used against them. There is also the presence of irrational thinking which the sufferer can't see. This I can see in you based on the letter.
You aren't evil or a spoiled brat but you have to do the work and repair this relationship and your own life because moving away with him and cutting her off is really doing more to hurt yourself than to her. Ultimately, this relationship is more important than any you have.
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I am a female middle schooler. My friends from my soccer team hate my friends from school and my friends from school hate my friends from soccer. Anything I do or say is like I am picking sides. If I do something with one group the other gets mad and calls me a trader. But I made a stupid decision and I trough my school friends under the bus. I say I am sorry and ask for they are mad at me and they say no but then the other people from my friends from school say they are. I don't know what to do because I want to keep both friendships but I feel like I lose either way. (link)
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If they don't like one another than that's not your problem to stress over because you cannot control it. However, you don't have to put up with their bullshit either. That's not fair of them.
Be friends with whomever you like or if you have tons of friends ditch the ones causing grief. Tell them you hang out with A,B & C alone because they don't like D, E, F and have done all you can but if they give you garbage over it than cut them loose due to endless aggravation. They aren't acting like real friends or worthy of you now are they?
As for your stupid decision and throwing people under the bus I cannot help there. You didn't elaborate on what you did. I know you don't want to loose either side and perhaps you won't have to but you have to get across that this behavior is pissing you off and you're not picking sides.
You have better things to do and if you loose them over this than it's prime indicator the shouldn't be in your life. Don't be afraid to lose any of them for you might be better off. They're walking all over you. You need to roar a bit.Let them know they are important but are really getting on your nerves with this and to look up the word traitor while at it.
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A few weeks back, my father bought me a plane ticket to Pennsylvania so i can visit my LDR partner of 6 months. (I'm 16 y/o)
My mom doesn't want me to go, since i would be traveling alone and would be staying with them for almost a week by myself, and we've never met offline before (I've known them for just about a year online and we have video chatted on skype countless times and both my dad and i have met their mother and spoken with her more than once). My parents are divorced and i stay with my dad practically full time, even though i'm not supposed to, but i'll get into that later. Anyways, this is why my mother was not included in the decision of purchasing the plane ticket in the first place.
My mother got a judgement at the court house saying that I'm not allowed to leave the state, to prevent me from going. However, my dad spoke with lawyer who said that my mother made it sound like my dad and i are trying to move to PA, which is how she got the judgement, and that if we explain what's really going on that I should be allowed to go. We have a court date in 11 days (as of july 4th) to decide if i will be allowed to leave the state.
What i'm concerned about, is that i believe my mother has told the judge that we have not been following the custody arrangement (due to my dad helping me escape her abusive household, although she did not tell him that), and i'm worried that because of that, the judge will want to punish us and say i cannot go to PA because we haven't been following the custody arrangement. Could this happen? Is it likely to happen? What does the outcome look like it might be? (I'd prefer answers from people who have experience with this sort of thing, but all answers are welcome) Thank you very much!!
(link)
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You need to understand that the judge is YOUR advocate and to protect you. Any ruling they have made is from their view of the facts of your case and what they feel protects you best. Some of these issues are ones you may not be aware of him having heard if you weren't physically present.
The judge has placed a no travel ban on you so that your father who doesn't have sole custody cannot abduct you and take you out of state and out of country and deny your mother her legal rights to see and have joint custody of you.
It doesn't matter what you think of her the law says she has that right. You may not be aware of the circumstances in the past but your dad may have tried to take you before or violated the previous order.
Something happened if he feels your father violated the agreement. The Short answer is that it's highly likely he will uphold his decision to not allow you to leave without his let alone your mother's consent the state. He also can put anyone violating that in jail.
Even if it is the truth that you have a LD relationship in another state and your dad knows parents or whatever the judge is apt to think this may be a ruse so dad can take you away and deny your mother's legal rights to see her child.
He may also think it sketchy and that you don't really know who the hell you are meeting and that this could be dangerous to just send a kid anywhere when those she is to meet could be anything but who they say. I would go to court and see what happens and ask to be heard. That's all you can do.
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I am 23/f and my fiancé is 21/m- we have been together for almost three years. Here recently my parents have had talks with me about his obsessive cursing and talking rudely to my 12 year old brother. My mom has the most issues with my fiancés cursing because he drops the "f" bomb very frequently. As of my brother, he is always cursing at him, claiming he can't stand him because he doesn't listen and he is annoying. Don't get me wrong- my brother bothers the heck out of me but I know it's his age. I have had a few talks with him about this issues but it doesn't seem to change. I need advice on what to do. My parents don't believe I should leave him- and I don't want too. He treats me like a princess and has yet to ever make me cry until these conversations came up. No matter what I say to him his response is "ok I'll stop" but he doesn't. He may get better for a few weeks, but is right back to disrespecting my mother and brother.
What should I do? How can I communicate with him to make it clear that it absolutely needs to quit?! We do not live together. I live with my parents and he lives with his grandparents. He curses around his grandparents but never the "f" word or as much as he does at my house. He claims he feels like he is at home and comfortable at my house- but to me that's no excuse to disrespect your mother in law and brother in law to be.
Help. Thanks in advance! (link)
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There is such a thing as respect. He needs to show it and your family deserves it. No matter what he thinks of your brother he has no right to curse at him or refer to him as annoying or swear in front of parents. He needs to grow the eff up or get lost.
You need to tell him that none of you will put up with the behavior any longer and if he cannot respect your family than you can't have him in your life. That's probably all you need to do. If he can't change you have to make good on that and be firm. Nobody has a right to constantly curse and especially at a sibling who is a child annoying as he may be.
He may make you feel like a princess but if the rest of your palace isn't comfortable and finds him revolting you have a problem. You have to stick up for them and your brother rather than turn an eye from bad behavior. He gets away with this because nobody stops him his grandparents included.
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I have an iPhone 4c and im saving up for a iPhone 6s plus or at lasts iPhone 6s or 6. But it's taking me so long! I'm getting $20 a week for doing chores in the house. But it's 35 weeks until I get $600 for a phone. That's all the way to February next year. How am I supposed to get a phone quickly?
Thxs (I love your advice btw your awesome) (link)
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You really don't need to save $600.00 for the phone unless you don't want to be on a 2 year contract to pay it off. If you buy it outright for $600.00 you can choose your provider and what you want to pay in terms of a data plan, texting and minutes.
If you get a 2 year contract you are putting down let's say for sake of argument $299.00 for the phone and then let's say for example $185 a month which is our data, unlimited minutes (national calls) ad unlimited text until device paid off.
If your parents are on a plan see if the phone you have now has an upgrade coming because you may be able to make the upgrade free or less money than you think. Your major problem is that you need an adult or if you are one someone with good to pristine credit history. They run credit to determine if you can pay your bills or owe people money.
You don't want a 5s or a 6. By the time you can save up money for them they will be obsolete which they are becoming now. The 6S is nice but come fall of this year the 7 will be out in time for Christmas. You would want it most definitely. It would drive the price of the 6S down however.
I actually wouldn't buy the Iphone to be honest with you. I would instead buy the Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge. In terms of design, camera and features it beat the hell out of the Apple phone. It is indestructible and if dropped into water or something splashes on it you can pick it up or wipe it off.
The insides are always protected. The curved edge displays tabs and scrolling info. It's the best phone out there. See if your parents can get you one before saving $.
You didn't say how old you are but another option is to find a job and use your pay cheques to buy it sooner or get on a contract.
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So I tried out for cheerleading in 6th grade but I didn't make the team. So I'm doing some practicing I make the team this year. (Going to 7th grade).
But I want to be on the football team now. Yes, I'm a female but I'm in love with football and I now everything about it. I want to try out for quarter back.
But I don't know which one to choose (link)
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It is tough when you love two things with a real burning passion but can only do one
never both. Here's where I would start if I were you. Try out for both and see what is or isn't offered to you because if one is eliminated you'll be able to decide about the other option and whether you want to take it on after all.
That may help your decision especially if one gets offered over the other. If both get offered you'll have some serious pondering to do. You could also ask coaches if there would be a way to play half the games and cheer the other half. You never know but might have to think where would I feel happier and what would challenge myself or make me learn from the most?
I would never discourage any female from wanting to play football or with male classmates. You are equal but a lot of coaches may not give you a shot based on height, build and weight versus males, being tackled, and or antiquated regulation that you cannot participate on a male team because you are female. That could stand in your way. If you can try for both and pick that's the best especially basing it on your enjoyment. Start asking yourself what you love most and would kick yourself over not choosing or waiting long enough to see if extended you. Eventually you will wind up where you can weigh all the pros and cons by listing them in your head or on paper.
I'm not you but I have a hunch that you want the cheer squad role most because you came close last year and want in now. If you audition you should ask what kept you off the team last time because that right there should tell you if auditioning for the same people is worthwhile or not but nothing bad can happen trying for either.
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I am 12 almost 13 and I have had my period since I was 10 my mom told me everything before I got my period and she also told my that she hates tampon because they took her virginity I know that is not possible and so a few months ago at a gymnastics meet I used one of my friends tampons well now I have a swim team tryout and I need some tampons and no I cannot buy them myself because I have no store of shop to go to right away help please (link)
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You should try a direct approach. Why not grab what you need and plunk it in the shopping cart at the grocery store, Wal-Mart etc. when with her and tell her that they are a requirement for swimming when on period and any problems to talk to the coach.
You can also explain that classmates, friends and women she knows wear them an it has nothing to do with sex or virginity. You could also have your doctor talk to her if need be about tampons and your need to use them. Odds are if you put them in the cart you'll go unchallenged as nobody wants a scene and you wouldn't get one in public to begin with.
Another idea would be tell a friend's mother that you want to be on the swim team badly and the tryout and period will be happening at the same time. Explain what your mom thinks and that there's no way to participate unless you have them. Explain you have no money of your own to buy them and ask if she would be wiling to purchase what you need or talk to your mom ontop. I am sure she would help.
Have you spoken to any of your close friends? Perhaps they could spare a few too so you can make it through the tryout. That solves your immediate needs but over all after that you would be on your own and would need them into the future so I would talk to a friend's mom or even an older adult female you can trust.
You could talk to the coach but if talking to people you don't know as well as friends parents over this would be difficult or embarrassing try for friends or adults you trust because someone will help and perhaps if desired set mom straight.
Your mother may have also come from the era of toxic shock syndrome and have wrong idea from that alone. Today's feminine products are relatively safe if used as directed. I hope it works out for as I'm certain it will.
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