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Guy Ghosted Me
I'm a female and 22 years old. This is a long question so I appreciate anyone who takes time to read this and help!
I met this guy on Tinder one Sunday in June. He was super nice and really good at carrying a conversation. We exchanged phone numbers and started texting later that day.
Once we started texting, we texted all day every day during that first week. During the first week of texting, he asked me to hang out every day but I kept saying no because I wasn't sure how much I liked him. In the beginning, I was kind of just talking to him because I liked the attention he gave me. However, over time, I started to like him more and more.
He told me the reason he kept asking me to hang out so much was because he was going out of town for a week and a half and wanted to meet me before that. I told him that we could hang out once he got back in town, if he still wanted to.
So he went out of town and when he was gone, we continued to text all day every day. We were also snap chat friends and snap chatted regularly. He would always compliment my looks, saying that he thought I was gorgeous and beautiful. We even started talking on the phone at night. We talked on the phone 4 or 5 times, and 3 of the times we talked for 2 and a half hours. While we talked about each other's lives, he always made it a point to tell me how much he liked me and how much he enjoyed talking to me. Just to give you an idea, he even said "have you met anyone from Tinder before in person?" and when I said no, he said "Well hopefully once you meet me, you won't have to meet anyone else." We had such a good time talking on the phone that I started to like him more and I started to think that I would actually want to meet up with this guy.
When we were talking on the phone, he asked me if I would want to hang out the night he got back in town. I thought about it, and told him the next day that I did want to hang out. So, we continued to text all day, and talked on the phone as well.
The day of the date arrives and we were texting scarcely. He kept telling me how excited he was to hang out and how much fun we were going to have. I decided to meet him at his apartment and he would drive us to dinner from there. I was so nervous, but the second we met, my nerves went away. We had a lot of fun on the date - we went out to dinner, then we walked around the park next to the lake, and then got some wine and went back to his apartment. We watched some tv, drank wine, cuddled, and made out. I left around 1030 at night and he said "I don't want you to go." But since I had to work the next day, I was like "I have to." So he kissed me goodbye and I left. He texted me on the way home saying "Hey I had a lot of fun. I hope you did too. Hope you got home safely."
The next day, he texted me, and things were good. However, we didn't text as much as we had before we met. Then the next couple of days come, and we start texting less and less. This really had me worried because I thought maybe he wasn't feeling me anymore. I was confused because I thought that we had a really good time on our date so I didn't know why he was texting less and less. It was 3 days after we hung out and we were texting and I asked him if he wanted to hang out over the weekend. He said that he wanted to and he could make that work on Sunday. I told him that worked for me, and that it would be a good time. He replied "no doubt in my mind it will be a good time." This gave me some reassurance.
We were still barely texting on Friday and Saturday, so when Sunday came I texted him saying I had an idea for our hang out. I told him, and he replied "that sounds like fun but I won't be able to. I'm not feeling well and need to rest. Hope that's okay, I like you, I just need to rest." So I was bummed and clearly thought he wasn't interested. However, he did say "tomorrow?" so we rescheduled our plans for Monday. Later that day (Sunday, the day we were supposed to hang out), he asked me if I wanted to go to his apartment and hang out and drink some wine. I said yes. I got to his apartment around 10 that night. Same as the first time we hung out at his apartment, we watched TV, cuddled, and made out. We did hook up a little bit further than that, but we did not sleep together. We had a lot of fun, we talked about personal things, as well as the other stuff I mentioned. It wasn't only sexual. He asked me to stay the night and told me that he didn't want me to leave. We were talking about watching Sports Center on TV and I made a comment like oh I'm not into it, and he said "get used to it because its something I always watch." He was being sweet and nice, calling me pet names like "sweetheart" and "babe." When it was time to go, he walked me outside to my car and kissed me goodbye, hugged me and said "see you tomorrow."
So Monday comes, I ask him if he can still hang out, and he cancels our plans because him and his friends got tickets to a sports game. We don't text again that day. I didn't text him on Tuesday because I wasn't sure what was going on. He didn't text me, so we didn't talk that day. So, then Wednesday, I wanted to see if he would text me, he didn't. So I texted him and he replied "Hey! thought maybe you were mad at me, you didn't text me yesterday." I told him I was bummed, and he apologized and said that he thought he told me he was trying to go to that game. I told him it wasn't a big deal. So, we talked on Wednesday and he was more talkative than he had been. However, he stopped texting me in the middle of a conversation and I haven't heard from him since. It's been 11 days. My birthday was just this past Friday, and he knew it was my birthday, and he didn't wish me happy birthday. He still looks at all of my snap chat stories, but doesn't reach out to me.
Do you think I did something wrong? Do you think it was all an act until he met me? Maybe he changed his mind? I cannot stop thinking about him/the situation. Do you have any advice for how I can move on from this? I want an explanation but I don't want to reach out because I don't want to appear "crazy" or clingy. However, at the same time, I can't help but think that maybe he thinks he did something wrong and I'm the one that lost interest. Even though I texted him later that day Wednesday, and snap chatted him twice later that week. Do you think I just need to accept it and move on?
sorry for the long question, I appreciate anyone who actually reads this and helps me out. Thanks!!
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I'm sorry your feeling this way love, I feel like guys tend to lead girls on and then just drop them once we start getting feelings. Its the worst, and then they are stupid about the whole situation. I'm thinking he just liked the game. I don't think it was you at all. Tinder is hard because 90% of guys on there just want to have sex. Maybe he realized you weren't going to give it to him because you have class and he found some easy girl. Or maybe he is afraid he developed feelings for you and is distancing himself because hes afraid of falling for you and hes not ready. In my opinion I would reach out to him and be like hey, did something go wrong? haven't heard from you. Just to at least get an answer, if you feel better not saying anything at all then don't. theres so many more people you could hang out with. Guys tend to not seem as interested once the girl is interested in them its awful I know. its nothing you did. ITS TINDER, and they are all pretty much assholes. trust me I have tinder and bumble, I have had it for about a year and have met probably 40 guys on it. not one good thing has come out of it but it does feel nice to have someone give you attention. feel better time heels
xoxoxo
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I just have to address the safety issue here first. If you don't know someone aside from their profile on the Internet or an APP be bloody careful about meeting them in public anywhere let alone their apartment or places where alone or you frequent and they can pick up on it.
Always meet in a public place where if something goes wrong there's people who can provide assistance or you can get away from the person easily and end the evening.
Now that this is out of the way it seems you have fallen for who you think he is and what he's told you without really knowing him. He's mentioned other girls and probably is chatting them up too and meeting through the app and not taking people or feelings seriously. He's lost interest and has thrown you aside and may wish you would do the same and move along.
I doubt he will contact you again but if he did let him know that he has to be 100% honest, not with another person and genuinely in to you or forget it and not to use people or try to and then discard them. More or less this is what Tinder is for random hookups and nothing lasting from all I have heard about it.
You have to get back to the point that you really don't know this guy and he doesn't really know you between texts, e-mails, a couple of dates so though this was disappointing you should move on and realize none of this was because of you. In fact, when something like this ends it may be because it wasn't meant to be or you are being protected from someone or something bad as life tends to do for us from time to time if we're in a bad situation or about to be. It sounds based on his own admission he's into multiple women here and who knows what he's told them all or who he really is, motives and if married. Thing is with dating apps and Internet you never know.
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It seems like he just lost interest. You have attempted to contact him with no effort returned. You should leave him in the dust. If a person does not make the effort to be in your life, then he is not worth your time.
However, I do understand that getting over someone can be quite difficult, even if you only dated/hung out for a short amount of time.
I have a favorite website that is full of amazing tips/tricks and just plain old helpfulness. I think it might help.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Good Luck!!
*Jasmine<33
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He's not that into you.
I doubt you did anything wrong, but you're going to just need to let this go. There is no great, profound answer that will make you feel better. He wasn't feeling it with you. Perhaps he did want sometimes long-term, but he decided he didn't want it with you.
Chances are rather good he was actively dating, and auditioning several women for the role of his next girlfriend. Don't be too sorry you didn't get the part.
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