Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

askSweet_LiL_Angel

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: F-18
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. I was only 15 and he was the first person that showed real interest in me. He is the only person i have dated or loved. But now we live together in our own apartment i have been living with him for almost a year now but we have only had our own apartment for about 6 months.
Within the past few months i have begun questionioning the relationship. Only because i have never been with anyone else and am wishing i could have dated around awhile before sticking with someone. I have never kissed or done anything with anyone else and all i can think about is what it would be like. I really want to try and date around for awhile before i become considered an adult and finish college. I want to be able to be a teenager and maybe go to a party or two. My boyfriend has kept me from drinking and as sweet as he is i lost alot of my friends due to that and the fact that it seems like i can't hangout with others.

up until July i could say we had an amazing relationship and loved every minute but now that i look deeper into it just because we never fight & seem to always get along doesn't mean its great. I want to go out with friends...unfortunately it seems like i only get along with guys and he won't allow me to hangout with guys. I would like to end the relationship i think just so i can stop being a shell and be the pearl i should be(got that from Katy Perry's song Pearl) i feel like i could be so much more and this relationship is holding me back from doing what i truly want to do. I don't know if i can break it off because of the fact that it has been three years and i don't want to waste it all and end up missing what i had.

I have recently befriended a guy i work with and he thinks i am awesome and i am trying to be his friend and not have to shut him out whenever he wants to hangout and play video games with me. (yes im kinda a nerd like that lol) So i have been playing video games with him and have been feeling myself pulling farther and farther away from my boyfriend unitentionally. i don't go to bed when he does anymore i just join later in the night and i don't cuddle i just sleep on my half and have the hardest time getting to sleep because all i can think about is our relationship and if its going to work.

I don't know if i can throw away 3 years of love, I'm not sure what we would do with our apartment for the next 6 months because neither of us can afford it on our own, And we bought a puppy together six months ago and im not sure who would get him. I think the main reason i havent broken it off is because of those 3 things i don't know what i would do without my pupppy.

Also we rarely ever have sex or anything virtually close to it. I cannot get turned on by him it seems almost impossible at first we would always be kissing and having fun but now it seems like we could try forever and never get me anywhere near horny enough to actually have sex comfortably. I have to force myself to do it every now and then like once every couple months which is pretty terrible.

Sorry i wrote a book but i really really need some form of advice. Please no rude comments or anything.

I talked to him the other day about it but it still doesn't seem to be okay with him that i want to hangout with people and how im feeling he doesn't understand...and the guy from work is nothing more than a friend i have yet to hangout with him i have just played games w/him and talk...about nothing i shouldn't either its purely innocent.

What about your relationship makes you happy. With out naming anything from the past just stuff that is going on currently. Is there anything. Even small things. You are young you have only lived alone for 6 months think about what will happen if you get married and have children where will you be now miserable because you dont want to split up because of the kids or because you marriage. ( i feel like im talking to my self) but anyways back to you. do what your heart tells you

Q: My gf and I just started having sex 2 months ago. She's been with 6 guys before me and all that. I can't make her cum and she said it's because my penis is too small. She wants me to make it bigger by taking the pills they sell the stores. I am only 17 and I think you have to be 18 to buy the pills. What can I do for her instead? I feel bad because she's so sure it's because my penis is too small and that's embarrassing. Shes really into having sex and if she can't get off she is really unhappy. Should I just break up with her so she can be with a guy who is bigger? I get hurt feelings because after sex every single time she goes on and on about the problem

Your girlfriend isnt being fair and that is not the reason she does not cum. My husband eats me out for a while until i am about to cum and thenhas sex with me and it works great but i think you deserve someone better.

Q: My dad hates my boyfriend with a passion. You can see it in his eyes every time my boyfriend comes over to pick me up. It's weird because my dad does this thing where he drills him on stuff. Like he'll ask him for his full name, his parents names, his phone number, his address, etc. etc. It's sooo annoying and stupid. How can I make this stop? My bf is irritated by it and hates coming over to pick me up. It's making things weird. I was going to see if I could spend Thanksgiving with my bfs family but my dad would totally freak out how can I get him to just chill and calm down about my boyfriend and know that my boyfriend is a GOOD guy?

I would find things in common between your dad and your boyfriend. Maybe they can do something they have in common and talk and get to know each other and your dad will lighten up. My husband and my father dont get along they talk finally after we have been married for over a year. You dad is protective and doesnt want your boyfriend to push you into stuff. etc. Sit your dad down and talk to him tell him you really like "his name" and you would like ifyou would stop drilling him tell him hello how are you but please stop being so mean

Q: My girlfriend and me want to start having sex and so I was going to buy condoms but I'm only 15 and I don't want to be denied at the register and all of that embarrassment. How old do you have to be to buy condoms and is it safe to get somebody older than me to buy them for me? I was thinking the age limit is 18 to be able to purchase condoms but I really can't remember because it seems like I heard that years ago. What's the age in which you can buy condoms without an adult?

You can buy condoms at any age.

Q: I have been teasing my boyfriend through texts and when we're together about sex. We've been sexting for a few weeks and talking dirty for awhile too. I guess I just thought it was cool to get him all hard and turned on wanting me. I told him we could totally have sex this weekend when we were talking about stuff and I was thinking. My parents are gone for all of saturday and part of sunday and he knows it. The truth is I really don't want to lose my virginity yet. He's all worked up over it and even told me he's bought condoms today for this weekend together. How do I tell him I'm really not ready to start having sex? We're both 17 if it matters.

He is going to be mad but you need to tell him before he comes to your house. because at your house he could get mad or show up already worked up and things could lead to another with him which if you tell him you dont want to and he does its rape and neeither of you want to be in that situation

Q: My mom just had a baby and I noticed he had finger nails when he came out. They are pretty sharp and I was curious how it is that he didn't cut her insides up when he was in the womb? I mean I know he isn't going to like kill her with his fingernails but they seem so sharp so surely he caught them on her insides, right? How is it that babies don't cut their mom's internally with their finger nails?

Well the womb protects the mother and the baby. mostly the baby. The baby could claw push etc their way out when it is time for them to be born but when he was born did you relize as sharp as they are they are extremely thin. they break easy. I clipped my daughters nails when she was first born and she bleed a little scared me to death shes 8 months now and i still bite her nails off.

Q: I'm thirteen. my period started a year ago, and i still lose it for months at a time. i didn't have it once this summer.I am a virgin. Is something wrong with me?

its normal i have irregular periods all the time and im glad you a virgin keep that.. Birth control pills can regulate your period if you are worried about it.. talk to your doctor.

Q: i feel like my life is crumbling down. I'm thirteen,
my sister hates me and thinks i lie all the time, my boyfriend just wants me for sex, my best friend talks about me behind my back, my mom doesn't listen when i tell her i hate my life, my parents are divorced, my grades suck and nobody listens when i tell them i cant do it,everyone thinks I'm crazy, my parents both like my sister better, I'm the ugly one of the family who is good for nothing, sometimes my life hurts so bad it hurts, and Ive lost all hope that it can get better. I'm actually crying as I'm writing this. dying seems like the only way out, but i don't know if death hurts. all TV says its a relief and that its carries you away but what do they know? Why cant something in this world be hopeful? I hate it all. someone please help.

You are beautiful in your own way everyone is. Sometimes I think I need to tell my self that more often. Lose your boyfriend if you feel he is using you for sex he is not worth it. The best friend tell her if you feel you need to talk about me behind my back we are not that great of friends. Tell her I want to be friends with you but not if you are going to talk about me behind my back. Your grades will improve when who make your self happy. I think you should really focus on your school work. Its so important. ecspecially when you get to high school itll be very important for when you go to college because i know you are strong enough to go to college and show your mom how strong you are. Divorce is so hard. I was 15 and pregnant when my parents divorced and i had a little brother who was a year younger who took it real hard. I had to help my self and him and it was hard but you can do it. Im 19 now i made it i struggled but i know how important it is to have some one to talk to and i really want to be there and help you because suicide is not that answer. do you have facebook.. look me up my email is ashaboo77@yahoo.com and anything you need hun talk to me about it i know about life. i really do. im 19 with two kids and a step son and im married life is hard and i can barly pay my bills

Q: I am 22 years old and live an hour from my parents in Bowling Green Kentucky and attending college. However, I have made the decision to move to Miami in about 4 or 5 months to be with my boyfriend. Although, he is not the only reason...I am pretty miserable here in Bowling Green, need a break from school, and would love to have new surroundings. The problem is, I know that my parents are going to be furious, disappointed, hurt, and probably hateful. I love my parents and have always worked hard for their approval so I am absolutely dreading telling them the news....so much so that I lose sleep over it. I keep telling myself that I'm an adult, I support myself financially, and that my happiness is what is most important. But they won't approve of me taking time off school, living with my boyfriend, or moving 16 hours away. I'm desperate for some advice on the best way to break the news to them. Please help.

Okay i am the bare of bad news. I am 19. I had my first baby at 15 another at 18 and im married to a guy who wont work im not my parents favorite by all means but they love me weather they always show it or not. You have to let them no how miserable you are. tell them that you are not happy you are depressed and you need a new surrounding as you said just be honest with them okay they will always love you no matter what no matter what you do they will love you.

Q:
I had to cut off communication with someone I had known for a long time,as she was married,and at the same time really out of control sexually,(swinging,involved in prostitution,leading me on,etc),and incapapble of honest communication with me.Honestly,though I had known her for many years,this last year I was getting intense anxiety attacks around her.Now,she is spamming me constantly,(I see her IP address),and coming around all the places I go to ,with her husband,places she normally would not go to,as she lives 24 miles away.I gave up trying to communicate with her months ago,as I never got an honest answer.We used to talk daily,and I stopped because she admitted that she was just leading me on,would not explain why she let her father in law feel her up in public,and a lot of other things that I thought were pretty gross.Why is she coming around and also spamming me? How do I handle this?

wow creepy.. I would get a hold of the police. first off the spamming you is hacking that will be a federal offence. i know you have known her a long time and probably dont want to get her introuble but you have to think of your safety first.people like that can be very dangerous

Q: 15/f
i was talking to my boyfriend and we started talking about sex (we were sending dirty messages etc. no pix). a little while later we started talking about our future and he said that he wanted to have sex for real and asked how i felt about it. i told him i wanted to stay a virgin and he told me that hurt his feelings and he got mad. then i got mad at him for thinking i would actually just hop in bed with him and we got into a fight. he said he was sorry but im still mad. what do i do?

hes a jerk I am sorry to tell you but if cant respect your decision for wanting to stay a virgin then dump him. There are guys out there that will respect your descion and there are other stuff you can do other then sex with you want. dont be forcced into it.

Q: Okay, so let's start by saying I'm 20/F..

So, recently I have learned that my best friend's brother has a girlfriend, which is weird in itself if you knew him. I've honestly never imagined him dating anyone. And.. well I'm a bit confused because I'm not sure if I could have feelings for him, or I just think I do because he has a gf now. I've known him for so long, I was actually friends with him before I was friends with my best friend. I mean I know the whole family and they are all so great.. but anyways I don't know what I'm feeling.. like do i like him? or am i just feeling fake feelings because he has a gf? ahhh I'm so confused.

Well I dont think you would feel fake feelings just because he has a girlfriend that is more oh man hes hot i wish he was mine. only because he was hot. I think it could be true feelings and you never really noticed how much you liked him until he was dating someone else. A little jealous.

Q: Im De im 17 i have a 3 yr old son.i got pregnant at 13 and had him when i was 14.me the guy was together for 9 months and when i be pergnant are parents made us break up and everything. he wasnt in my sons life for the longest now he is tryin to be daddy and everything is good and im still in love with him dnt say im to young to be in love cuz i kno what what love is but my question is why am i still in love with him after he treated me so wrong and everything?

your in love with him because he is your son's father. I think you love the fact he wants to be in his sons life. You love that he wants to be there but you have to remember its not fair to you that you have to grow up so quickly and he didn't want to. I had a baby at 15 and its tough i feel for you my son is almost 4 now. I moved toa different state (my sons father didnt want to be in his life) now he wants in his life i let him and he hasnt called in 2 months. what im trying to say is he the kind of guy thats going to be in and out of your childs life? if it is it isnt worth it that will hurtyour child emotionally.

Q: okay....i have had a really fucked up life... see i was adopted...and when i was little my adoptive mother has always threaten to send me back with my biological parents...but i feel like it would be better because then i would know someone loves me. and i hate how my mother never lets me see thm, i mean i know that they gave me up for adoption but i would think about my kid everyday and just wish that i could have them back in my arms again, and is it to hard for my mother to let me fulfill that wish for them. and everytyme i think about my real parents i fall into depression, and i dont know what to do...can you help me?

another problem....recently my best friend has started to hate me... i mean i dont think i did anything wrong except be there for her, but she became best friends with this girl that i have never liked, i mean shes a slut. and now shes turning her into one...but anyways. everytime i think about her i think aboout all the fun times we had and everything and i begin to cry. and i know shes over me but i dont think i can let go of somehing that meant so much to me. and she doesnt even talk to me. and it makes me sad. how can i find a way to get my mind off of her?

other problem...lately my mom has been taking up drinking to comfort her pain. because my aunt has recently passed away. and ever since then shes ben a real bitch and been bitching at everyone. and yesterday she made my 26 year old sister cry. i mean what can i do to block all this out??

i mean no one knows about any of my problems....i have always put on a mask and put on a smile but it hurts on the inside.. and latel i have been trying let it all out but every time i do someone starts bitching and says im always trying to get attention and that i dont have problems and im making it up... and
lately i dont know what else to do than cry.. so can you please help me?? i could really use some advice...

signed,
lost and abandoned
14

First. Your adoptive mother is protective yes the threats are wrong but she doesnt want to lose you to your bio parents. So what your should do is talk to her let her know how you feel. tell her you love her and you appricate her adopting you, taking you in when she didnt need to but you have a spot in your heart that is empty and needs to be filled ask her if once a week or every othher week you can see them of even talk to them.

your friend. do you complain a lot to your friend? that could be why shes distant now. friends dont always want to hear about you they want you to ask about them as well. but to forget about her make new friends. join a voulenteer program take up baby sitting make money and spend time with children they keep you occupied.

Drinking which parent is taking up drinking your mother or adoptive mother since you allowed to talk to your adoptive mother ask her if she would like to see a theripist and you will go with her in the room or wait for her in the waiting room maybe talking to someone will hep her to wuit drinking. tell your real mother about this if it about her. although you probably cant attend the meetings with her your sister could?

Q: whats your favriote TV show?

House, Law N Order, anything like that.

Q: ok i gotta ask this now..i heard someone say something bout there bf bein bipolar..what does that mean? is it like split personality?! also..my ex was really mean and called me hoe and stuff then like the day before that he was like baby i love you ill never leave ur side..is that bipolar?

Bipolar is all of a sudden you are extremely mad nothing triggers it, it just happens.

Q: Okay my best friend just told me shes bi..And im a girl to.I dont know what to do, should I still be her friend or should I like not be..Im kinda creeped out cause I dont want her to like hit on me or nething.What should I do? Im only 14 to what should I do

if you are honest to god her friend. weather best friend or not you will accept who she is and she will understand that you are not that way everything can be the same between you to. she still likes guys you can still talk about guys you can still go to dances and movies. you were friends with her before she told you whats the big deal.

Q: my boyfriend he doesn't like to do anything fun.. he's so boring!! and i went to this party n made out with his bestfriend, what should i do????

your boyfriend is boring he obviously does not like the same things you like to do so why are you with him? i mean honestly when i was in a dating relationship and i was bored i did not have a reason to be with what was the point datin it supose to be fun and enjoyable.

Q: How much will I bleed the first time I have sex.. when my cherry gets popped?

the amount of bllod when your cherry its popped is different in everybody. For example the first time a i had sex my cherry popped and i bleed and it hurt but for a couple months after that i still bleed during sex or even fingering.

Q: I can never tell when my period is over. It sometimes stops for a day, then comes back. But, after my period for about a day or 2, my urine is brown. is that normal?

yes but birth control pills can help regulate your period.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.