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How to tell your boyfriend you're not ready to have sex?
I have been teasing my boyfriend through texts and when we're together about sex. We've been sexting for a few weeks and talking dirty for awhile too. I guess I just thought it was cool to get him all hard and turned on wanting me. I told him we could totally have sex this weekend when we were talking about stuff and I was thinking. My parents are gone for all of saturday and part of sunday and he knows it. The truth is I really don't want to lose my virginity yet. He's all worked up over it and even told me he's bought condoms today for this weekend together. How do I tell him I'm really not ready to start having sex? We're both 17 if it matters.
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He is going to be mad but you need to tell him before he comes to your house. because at your house he could get mad or show up already worked up and things could lead to another with him which if you tell him you dont want to and he does its rape and neeither of you want to be in that situation
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You just tell him. Plainly, directly and clearly.
And you tell him BEFORE he arrives this weekend. So he has time to process and understand your seriousness. Try to avoid text messages (they are too short, and are stressful). Call him or write him an e-mail if you can't talk face to face.
He is going to be a little annoyed with being teased and lead on. He is going to feel like you changed your mind on him. He is going to be a bit hurt.
His feelings deserve respect. It's not your fault you changed your mind, you didn't do anything wrong! Just be respectful and acknowledge the confusion and disappointment he might feel. None of that means you should sleep with him, but let him have his own feelings about it.
Then do yourself a favor and make plans for the weekend that will keep your minds off of it. Don't just sit together in silence and brood about it. Make a cake. Carve some pumpkins. Go out and do something. Sitting around and cuddling all weekend might sound nice, but it's probably not the best way to help you both enjoy one another's company after this sort of discussion. So make sure your time together includes a bit of activities other than making out and cuddling as well to help you both get over the confusion and discomfort.
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If you are not ready then be honest with him. Before Saturday comes either in person or through text, just tell him that you can't wait for this weekend and maybe sext him about doing something other than actual sexual intercourse, maybe like doing oral with something different than you guys normally would do to still make the weekend special and different. I am sure you guys have messed around before but have just not had sex yet, so just make messing around different, by using edible things, warm water, etc. If you are a virgin he should understand how important that is for you to be ready. So try to casually play it down a little bit and not let the sexting get too carried out, especially if he is sexually active. He will just feel like you are being a tease and that can really be offensive because he might feel like you are playing games with him. Then when Saturday comes and you are in the moment just be sure to say you don't feel ready yet, BUT you have something even better in mind. And there you go, you guys get to fool around and have a great time, he gets to try some new stuff with you even if it isn't sex, and you are able to avoid feeling pressured into having sex. After this weekend though, I do highly suggest that you tone down the sexting until you are ready for sex. It is not nice to toy with someone's sexual emotions if you are really not ready to fulfill them.
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