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I am adopted and my life sucks!
okay....i have had a really fucked up life... see i was adopted...and when i was little my adoptive mother has always threaten to send me back with my biological parents...but i feel like it would be better because then i would know someone loves me. and i hate how my mother never lets me see thm, i mean i know that they gave me up for adoption but i would think about my kid everyday and just wish that i could have them back in my arms again, and is it to hard for my mother to let me fulfill that wish for them. and everytyme i think about my real parents i fall into depression, and i dont know what to do...can you help me?
another problem....recently my best friend has started to hate me... i mean i dont think i did anything wrong except be there for her, but she became best friends with this girl that i have never liked, i mean shes a slut. and now shes turning her into one...but anyways. everytime i think about her i think aboout all the fun times we had and everything and i begin to cry. and i know shes over me but i dont think i can let go of somehing that meant so much to me. and she doesnt even talk to me. and it makes me sad. how can i find a way to get my mind off of her?
other problem...lately my mom has been taking up drinking to comfort her pain. because my aunt has recently passed away. and ever since then shes ben a real bitch and been bitching at everyone. and yesterday she made my 26 year old sister cry. i mean what can i do to block all this out??
i mean no one knows about any of my problems....i have always put on a mask and put on a smile but it hurts on the inside.. and latel i have been trying let it all out but every time i do someone starts bitching and says im always trying to get attention and that i dont have problems and im making it up... and
lately i dont know what else to do than cry.. so can you please help me?? i could really use some advice...
signed,
lost and abandoned
14
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Ive learned that there are always moments in life that make you laugh. when i go to school i try to focus on those. just count down the years till your out of there. and if you want to go to your birth parents, just take her up on her offer, say you want to go. my parents are divorced, so i live with my mom. i know it seems like everything's falling down. i feel that way a lot too. your not alone in what you feel. Ive never had a real friend that i can count on. i turn to books or music. i turn my headphones all the way up, and drown all thoughts away.life just seems too hard sometimes, at least for me. i tried to turn to god. but hes too busy, hates me, or doesn't exist. Im a teen girl and my life feels like shit too.
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There was a reason your biological mother gave you up for adoption. Just what that reason was we do not know. You say your adoptive mother won't let you see your biological mother letting us believe that you or she is aware of who that is. Generally adoption records are sealed so that the child and the adoptive parents do not know who the biological parents are.
While it has gotten easier to break that seal in recent years you need a good reason to do so. When you are 18 if you still wish to do so and you do not know who your biological parents are, you can start to search for them. A word of warning about doing so; not all searches for a biological parent end up like we see in the news so do not set yourself up for a big fall when you start your search as it is just possible your biological parents may not want to see you. Why would this be? One reason that comes to mind is you could be the result of rape or incest, it happens.
As to your mothers drinking: I'm going to recommend you look at the following web site to find a chapter of alateen in your town. This organization can help you deal with a parent who drinks to much.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Last I am going to recommend that you ask your mom to take you to your family doctor. Ask to speak to the doctor alone. You are old enough that the doctor needs to maintain your confidence in an area like this. Tell the doctor or show the doctor what you wrote to us and ask to be referred to a therapist who you can go to for talk therapy. Talk therapy will help you work through all of the problems you have listed here and help you address them in an adult manner, including what you may learn at alateen meetings.
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Dear Lost and Abandoned,
1.) Well maybe you can sit down with your mother and have a serious conversation about maybe getting in contact with your birth parents. Maybe ask her the reasons in why she does not want you to contact them. You are 14 though and she is your mother and you should obey what she says. When you turn 18, you are considered an adult in which you than can take it upon yourself to search out your birth parents. For right now though I would try and have a conversation with you mom and tell her how you feel about the situation.
2.) Your best friend hates you? That doesn't sound like much of a best friend now does it? I actually had a similar situation when I was in middle school. I had this best friend Molly, we met in 3rd grade and we would hang out together all the time. My friendship with Molly was the best thing ever and it was so much fun hanging out with her. As soon as we got to 7th things started to change. Molly met a new girl in class and started hanging out with her and another group of girls. The girls didn't like me and I tried to get along with them for the sake of Molly. Molly was changing into someone I didn't recognize anymore and we stopped being friends. It hurt me to lose my best friend the person I had told everything to and the person that would stand up for me. It hurt when I went to high school because I thought I'd never find a friend like her. I pushed myself to find new friends and I did because I knew I could. Its sad to lose friends but sometimes friends change and move on into different groups or cliques that we might not be associated with. You can remember all the good times but move on and find a new group of friends.
3.)Well there isn't much you can do in making her stop because she's going to drink whether you like it or not. You can suggest to her how you feel and talk to her about it. Maybe talk to your Dad or older sister about it!
It sounds like to me you have a lot of things going on in your life. I think you should talk to someone like a guidance counselor or maybe even a therapist to at least talk with someone who may be able to help you in someway. Crying is a way to release stress but crying never helps the situation. You should go see someone or tlak to someone you trust because if you hide it inside the problems will only build up. I hope I helped and good luck with everything!
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First. Your adoptive mother is protective yes the threats are wrong but she doesnt want to lose you to your bio parents. So what your should do is talk to her let her know how you feel. tell her you love her and you appricate her adopting you, taking you in when she didnt need to but you have a spot in your heart that is empty and needs to be filled ask her if once a week or every othher week you can see them of even talk to them.
your friend. do you complain a lot to your friend? that could be why shes distant now. friends dont always want to hear about you they want you to ask about them as well. but to forget about her make new friends. join a voulenteer program take up baby sitting make money and spend time with children they keep you occupied.
Drinking which parent is taking up drinking your mother or adoptive mother since you allowed to talk to your adoptive mother ask her if she would like to see a theripist and you will go with her in the room or wait for her in the waiting room maybe talking to someone will hep her to wuit drinking. tell your real mother about this if it about her. although you probably cant attend the meetings with her your sister could?
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Dear lost and abandoned at 14
okay...one at a time
1) i understand that you must really want to see your biological parents...and im sure they want to see you...but maybe ur adoptive parents are protecting you...why dont you sit ur adoptive mom or dad down (which ever is more understanding) and ask her about ur biological parents...that all i can say
2) if your best friend is just going to ditch you and im sure uve said sorry millions of times...then u should try to move on...i understand u cant let go of someone whos ur best friend when they mean so much to you...and for one last time...write her a letter telling her how u are afraid she will be a slut...and that u love her...and if these 2 "best friends" are going to different schools they will probably break apart cuz it doesnt sound like they have a real bond...so just write one last letter explaining everything u feel and leave her the choice to call you or not
3)dont block it out...maybe ur mom needs someone to talk to...once again just seperate u and her from everyone else...and give her someone to cry and talk to...because just like you need a friend so ur telling me she probably needs one too...
4)you can talk to me...my sn is kiss XmeX craZii...but im pretty sure i know who you are...dont worry its okay im here for you
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Hey! 1st problem: I'm sorry to here you are adopted, it must be very hard for you, my sister is adopted, and I hate that she is. But i still love her and miss her to death. There's not much you can do if your real mom doesn't want to see you.2nd problem: Ask your bestfriend why she "hates" you. You should talk to your friend and tell her what's going on, and how you feel. Well to take her off your mind, you do have to make new friends, but the memories are always going to be the same. Pictures don't change but the people in them do.3rd problem: Tell your mom that drinking isn't a way of solving things, theres a lot of other things she can do. Comphert your sister as much as you can! Crying works a lot, it does get out emotions you can't let out. It's good that you cover it up, but try to talk to someone like a person at school that you trust, maybe a counsolor. Tell me what happens!!
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