Gender:
FemaleLocation:
MichiganAge:
18Member Since:
January 23, 2007Answers:
806Last Update:
June 16, 2008Visitors:
40479Main Categories:
Love Life
Pets
General Sex Questions
View All
about
My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
You know how in movies where cops or some other martial arts guy makes someone pass out by pinching a spot in there neck? Are they killing them or making them pass out? And is that even possible without long term injury?
The person just passes out. What they're doing is cutting of the blood circulation to the victim's brain and that causes them to pass out momentarily. It is actually VERY dangerous and some have died from this.
how can you make them fade away? what can you use ? i have been useing alivera but does that really work?
Mederma is an excellent scar cream. It's a little expensive, but it's worth it. You can get it at CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens, etc. Also, whenever you get out of the shower, rub lotion onto the areas where you get the stretch marks and it will prevent any more from forming.
14/f and he's 15/m and we're both in 9th grade. This is really immature and childish but can you just read and answer for me, please?
So, there is this guy [let's call him Scott]. He's bi/gay and he's a major drama queen [no pun intended]. He'll get mad over the slightest thing. For instance, he got mad at my bffl because he always wore the same jacket. He got mad and started yelling at me b/c I didn't bring a cookie b/c I forgot. He drags me to the lunch line every other day and basically orders me to buy him food with my money.
Well, about a week ago, he suddenly called on Monday after school and said he was going to come over right that instant. I said no because I had homework and a violin lesson later that night. Then he said that all I did was homework and that I needed to get a life and be a teenager. Well, we went back and forth saying yes, no, yes, no. Well, about two days ago, my other friend and I were going down the hallways and I jokingly said that I was going to come to his house one day and he said that I already lost my chance? I was like okay then...but then he seriously went into full drama mode and said "If you don't hang out after school, I'm not going to talk to you." Or something like that. So I finally snapped and got so pissed off because he was getting mad at me for controlling my own life. So I told him that if he wanted to be a b*tch then he could be a b*tch and walked off.
Well, I don't really care that he's mad at me and I'm glad that I'm free from his drama because frankly, I was sick of tolerating him making me buy him food, yelling at me, and getting mad at me for stupid things. Right now, he's going around saying that I'm being a b*tch and overreacting and making a scene...when I'm ignoring everything. So, my question is am I overreacting? Is it reasonable for me to be mad at him?
Sorry this was so long.
I think you're being perfectly reasonable. I don't think it was nice to call him a bitch, but other than that you did the right thing. If he wants to be a baby, let him. It's not your job to buy his lunch. It's not your job to drop everything just because he wants to come over. It's especially not your job to let him get away with criticizing the things your friends wear.
As far as I'm concerned, he has a lot of growing up to do. Just ignore him. Let him be a baby. Move on with your life.
ok so I'm getting my ears double peirced in a few days, i want to know how bad it hurts. I couldn't tell how bad my first piercing felt because i was only 6 months old! So does it hurt?
It really depends on your tolerance of pain. My pain tolerance is pretty low and every time I got my ears pierced, it would sting pretty bad for about 30 seconds and then I forgot it was there. The only time it will most likely bother you is when you're trying to sleep.
ok well i have this x boyfriend miguel...he means so much to me but and he wants to get back with me but i told him dat i dont know if i still like him or what because it was kind of fucked up wat he did b4...so then now he cuts himself and today he saw me walking with my guy friend and my guy friend touched my shoulder and i was playing with him and i said "dont touch me dork!" and then miguel lost control and was like"yeah only i could touch her" and he hugged me all hard and pushed me into the lockers and tried to kiss me...the thing is he smelled like liquor and i asked wat was wrong with him and he said he had been drinking. then he couldnt keep his balance and was still trying to kiss me and since i kept pushing him back he started crying telling me how bad i made him feel and all this crap! i was actually gonna give him the 2nd chance but he treated me like shit in front of all those people and then some guy saw that i was pushing him away and was about to go do something about it. the thing is that i dont know what to do!! what could i do to stop him from doing all dis b/s? i know hes a great guy but hes depending his life on me and my actions and thats just to much for me to handle you know!!
so what do i do so he could stop?
should i go back with him and try to make him realise how bad hes handling things or do i stay away from him?
keep in mind that i want to have fun with people and not have to worry about "cheating" but i would be able to give up my freedom for him because i know how much i can help his situation but.......idk what about my life?=//
help!
DO NOT get back with this guy. He has some mental problems obviously if he's cutting himself and drinking. Don't let him guilt you into getting back together with him. If you want to help him out, tell his parents you're concerned about him. Tell a teacher or counselor what has been going on. But DON'T try to handle it yourself or he'll just ruin your life.
It's best to just put him out of your life. He needs to realize that you weren't put on earth to deal with his problems. If he really wanted to be with you, he would stop all the bas things he was doing because they bother you so much.
He's not worth it. Just stay away.
Hey, well me and my boyfriend are havin problems. Basically since like the first couple months we started goin out. We fight almost everyday, and we know we have that issue. We like each other a lot, but we just fight all the time. We've talked about it a lot and now were trying to figure out ways to stop it. Breaking is definatley the last thing on our list to do. We wanna take a break, but im not sure what the break will consist of. Being that we have a class together, and we talk on the phone every night. So basically my question is, how can we stop the arguring, with a possibly of taking a break, but not aiming towards breaking up? If that didn't make sense, basically what should we do?
This all depends on the things you argue about. If it's over little things, such as what the other is wearing or what you're going to do on a date, then it's most likely because you're subconsciously getting annoyed with each other. It's not a big deal, it's just that you probably see each other too much. A break can fix that. All you'd have to do while taking a break is not see each other for a few days, maybe a week. You don't even call each other. When the alotted time id up for the break, you'll most likely feel a lot better and you'll really want to see each other. This want will most likely eliminate the desire to argue.
However, if the fights are over really big things, such as fighting over things that are going on in your relationship, a break will NOT solve this problem. In this case, you and your boyfriend need to practice "positive" arguments. Whenever you feel a fight coming on, both of you need to try to stay calm. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. Positive arguing will allow you two to get your frustrations out without resorting to yelling or name-calling. When discussing the issue, keep your voice calm and allow each other a chance to speak and explain their side of the argument without interruption. If you can't reach a negotiation, agree to disagree and don't discuss it further. This method has greatly helped in my relationship, which has last a few years now.
Good luck to you and your boyfriend!
ok im 13/ f and i have to write an essay about if i think bigfoot is real or not. this is what my essay says:
Many people say that bigfoot is just a myth; that people just dress up in gorilla suits and walk around in the woods. i personally think that bigfoot is real
for over 100 years, people have reported sightings of bigfoot some people have even found hair and footprints of the creature. people have taken many pictures and filmed videos of bigfoot. one of the most famous videos of bigfoot is called " The Patterson Footage".
The patterson footage is a very clear image of a female bigfoot walking in the woods. the footage was taken by roger patterson and bob gimlin in 1967.
The patterson footge has never been debunked as a hoax. no one has ever demonstrated how it was done. neither the original " costume" nor a matching costume has ever been presented by honest skeptics nor by various impostures who have claimed to have worn the costume.
Large amounts of money have been spent trying to make a matching costume. the best hollywood costume design talents have been brought to the task but none have ever succeesed. the british broadcasting corporation has spent the most money so far and they have failed miserabily.
Every attempt and failire to make a similar costume strenghthens the case for the authenticity of the patterson footage. comparing a man in a costume side-by-side with the patterson creature in motion help highlight the anatomical differences.
Many scientist have looked at the patterson footage over and over again. they have finally discovered that if you look closely at the footage,you can see breast on the bigfoot. many of the sigting that you hear of say that the bigfoot is male, so who would make this one female?
Even tough you may or may not think bigfoot is a real creature, i think that bigfoot is real.
so can you please tell me what you personally think of my essay cause i really need to make a good grade on this. sorry its long. Thanks!
Overall it's pretty good, but you have a few grammar errors and spelling errors. Just to point some of them out, in the very last sentence you put "tough" instead of "though." And in the second to last paragraph, "sighting" should have an "s" and the end.
It's just little things like that that need improvements.
When i start eating, ill eat like everthing and cant stop and i always go for more
Anyway to stop this?
Im getting fatter and fatter and dont know how to loose it.
Chew slowly. At LEAST 30 seconds for each bite. Also, sip your drink in-between each bite. The drink should be water. Diet pop maybe, but nothing else. If you chew slower and drink more liquids while eating, you'll fill up faster.
The most important thing is to control your portions. After you serve yourself what you're going to eat, put the extra back in the fridge, cupboard, etc. and WALK AWAY. While you're eating it, it helps to maybe have a conversation with someone or watch TV or read a book. You'll be more focused on that than the food and you'll be less likely to want seconds.
15/f
So on satuday may 5th, i had sex with my boyfriend
that ive been with for a longg time. Now it went fine. I lost my viginity to him and he lost it to me. Now we did it in the woods which is strange but we arent supposed to be doing it and it was fine i didn't mind. So he left his pocket knife out in the woods that day. A few days later him and his 2 friends went out to the woods to get it. His friend lets call him Jay saw the condom and accused my boyfriend lets call him Ryan. He refused because we promised eachother we wouldnt tell anyone that we did it. If certain people found out somehow it would get to his brother and we would be forced to break up. Blah Blah but that not important. When "jay" and "ryan" and lets call the other guy "joe" were out in the woods jay said there was a hole in the condom. Now this was 3 days after we did it and we left the condom in the woods. We thought jay was trying to be a pain in the ass and get a reaction out of us but we had to ignore him because he couldnt know we did it. So i didnt care anymore. Then ryan told me he was still bothered by what jay said. now im scared because if there was a hole i could be pregnant. im not buying a test to dont try that. i know im supposed to get my period this week or the beginning of next. if i dont have it in 2 weeks then theres deffinatly something wrong. I hate to sit and wait though. Im getting the symptoms that i usually get a day ahead of the day i get my period. But what if its not that. I had these pains last nigth and all day today. Which is not normal. Maybe i should just wait. But is there anything i can do to tell sooner? If im pregant im fucked! my mom would kill me and "ryan". And reminder pregnancy test arent available for me wats so everr.
Please help me
Sorry it was soo longg
:\
Try to stay calm and not think about it. If you're really stressed out, that will delay your period even longer. Since you can't buy a pregnancy test, really all you can do is wait. It's too early to tell.
Have you considered calling a doctor? They do allow people in your situation to set up private appointments that your parents will never find out about. The doctor can give you a pregnancy test.
If you can't do that, just remember what I said: don't let yourself get stressed out. I really think that Jay just said that to get you guys to confess you did it. I wouldn't worry about it.
what are some good shampoos and conditioners that make hair straight? thanks!
Sunsilk straightening products are excellent. It works best when you use the straightening shampoo, conditioner, and cream together.
-EDIT-
Have you tried pantene's smooth and sleek? That's a good conditioner for straight hair.
Sometimes it's not enough to just have good shampoo and conditioner if you want straight hair. You also need a good hair dryer and straightener. Perhaps you'll have better results if you experiment with different styling tools.
16/f...hes 17
*LONG...SORRY...BUT NEED HELP*
okay so i feel like no one...no guy in this world will ever like me enough to actually try for me...to actually take their time and give some to me to show me that they actually like me and want to be with me...i always feel like im bothering someone or im not good enough for them...i know i dont try too hard but i know its not that im not trying enough...i definitly try...
i feel ike if i dont text first or call first or instant message first...then nothing will go ANYWHERE...i know this guy likes me because we got sort of "set up" from my friend tim who is also dating my best friend jen...you see...tim used to be best friends with this kid dave
and it staretd out with me dating dave and tim dating jen and it was so awesome cuase me and jen were best friends and tim and dave were best friends and it was just so awesome....then dave suddenly changed to just went through all this stuff in his life and lost me, his girlriend, tim, his longlonglong time best friend and a lot more...but i had some hang ups about him...i felt as though he never just "tried" hard enough...i mean i know its a joint effort but i feel like im doing all the work all the time!...while tim started out crushing on jen and then me and dave met through that...timjust showed jen so much more. he would text her all the time and IM her and little things like that which showed her he really liked and was interested in her while dave was a little slow with that....well a lot slow...but now were over but this other guy is a friend of tim's also and he is just SUCH a good guy...a way bvetter guy than dave and i really feel ike i had to go through all the pain with dave just to get me to him because this other guy is really sweet...
i knew him a little becuase hes been friends with tim and dave for a long time but i never really got to know him until last sunday and we hit it off great and kissed and he is just such a genuine sweet guy
then we hung out friday, saturday, and sunday this weekend and were making out and holding hands and getting close and being cute and flirting and he called me a lot during this past week before the weekend...tim and jen tell me he likes me and is def interested in me....and i know he wouldnt lead me on...and he, including me, is not the kind of person to rush into a relationship...but i def want one with him....i know he was talking to another girl before me but stopped like the weekend before we started talking...he said it wasnt that things didnt work out...just that they stopped talking and stuff cause he was just really busy and had a lot going on and didnt see her and stuff...i know hje doesnt like her like that anymore and stuff but im just scared that that will happen to us. we dotn go to the same school but he does drive...and he doesnt go to school...hes done with high school and is starteing college in the fall......
i saw him sunday then texted him monday and he didnt answer then i IMED him sying..where are you! i miss you! and i came back later and saw that he answered later on saying awww....but i was away...then i came back and said HEY! and he never answered and it didnt say he was idle or away or anything which is always says....then when i comment him on myspace he doesnt comment back but hell comment someone else back...
i just want to feel worthy enough for someone...i want to be able to sit back just even for ONE day and have someone try for ME and take time out of their day for ME...
i dont get it...i know hes not the type to "play" girls and stuff....and i heard from tim whos like his bets rfiend that he does like me and its evident when we're together...i just dont get the whole thing....if he was really crushing on me wouldnt he text me and do those cute little things like text goodm orning or say sometrhing cute when im in school or leave me cute IMS or SOMETHING?
why do i have to do it first?
and now yesterday he didnt even answer me....
and it sucks a lot this time cause i REALLY REALLY like him....i cant even explain how much i do...more than any guy ive ever liked...and i dated dave for 6 months and i feel like this new guy knows more about me and i know more about him than when dating dave....i just know hes a really good guy and im a great person too...
HELP!
Every girl wants attention from the guy she likes. When they don't get it, they get upset. Which is totally understandable. Guys SHOULD go out of their way to do something nice for the girl they like. But there's something you need to remember: you two ARE NOT dating yet. You said he is going to college in the fall, right? He probably has a lot going on. Realize that it's okay for him to have some space. Since he obviously likes you, and wants to take things slow, he's not going to be sending you a million texts everyday. He probably doesn't want to scare you away.
Instead of just texting him or IMing him everyday, why not call him a few nights a week? Have a nice conversation with him and talk about your interests. Just get to know each other. Do that for a little while and then stop calling him as much. He'll probably start missing you and then he'll be the one who calls.
The truth is, guys like getting attention just as much as girls. He might even be shy. Like I said before, he might just be worried he'll freak you out if he talks to you too much. If you're the once to introduce conversation, he'll be really greatful. Esp. if he likes you.
If you really like him, don't ignore him in attempt to get him to talk to you. That will make things worse.
Since you guys are already "making out" and stuff, there are only two reasons I can come up with as to why he's not contacting you as much: he either really is busy or just sees you as a fling.
Gender roles are changing as time goes on. Just because you're the girl, don't expect the guy to make all the moves. Once you give them attention, they'll return the favor. Even if it's not right away.
can you please name the shampoo and conditioner that you use (or that you know of) and makes your hair shiny and silky and strong??
currently i use fructis sleek and shine... it works ok for me but I was planning on switching to something else.
i've heard that Pantine Pro-V, Herbal Essences, Bed head, and Tres'emme work good
any helpful ideas? thanks bunches
Pantene Pro-V are GREAT products for shine. They have a different kind for every hair type.
If you're willing to splurge on something better, try Biosilk products. You can usually get them at any salon.
Sunsilk products are great too. They're also cheaper than Pantene and Biosilk.
15/f. since its warmer out and i have oily skin, my side bangs tend to get greasy by the end of the school day since they are on my forehead. so what can i do so they don't get greasy from the oil on my forehead anymore?
don't say to use foundation to touch-up during the day, i already do that. plus i don't always have time between classes.
thanks!!!
Run tissue paper over your forehead throughout the day to get rid of excess oil.
I know lemon juice lightens your hair color but i was wondering, does it lighten all of your hair? or just highlight it with light peices? I heard it dries out your hair also-any way to prevent that? And if i do decide to do it, how to i get the lemon juice in my hair?
Lemon juice does lighten your hair a little if used correctly. My friend did this and her hair looked great afterward.
While your hair is wet, spray the lemon juice on your hair thoroughly with any clean spray bottle. Then sit in the sun (this part is important) for at least an hour. I would assume the longer you kept in on, the lighter it would be.
Then go wash your hair. If you're worried about it drying out, I'm sure it's nothing a good conditioning can't take care of.
me and my boyfriend and his friend derek were watching t.v one time and when my boyfriend got up to go to the bathroom derek sat on me and took off my shirt and pants and started licking and fingering me and i tried fighting him off but hes alot bigger than i am. i started screaming and my boyfriend came and laughed and joined him. i forgave them and we still hang out and they onyl did it three times after that. so i guess im over it and im still with my boyfriend. but i dont know how to move on. help please. thanks
Dump his ass RIGHT NOW. That is RAPE. Hell I would even press charges. Don't EVER let someone feel that it's okay to take advantage of you like that. The fact that they did it more than once makes it even worse. Your "boyfriend" obviously doesn't care about you at all. Think about it: he let his friend rape you, he laughed about it, and joined right in! How is that okay AT ALL?!
Tell your parents. Go to the police. Do SOMETHING and stay away from him.
so we were at a party with my friend we were all trashed .. the guy had sex with my friend and from what they remember he did not cum.. i am scared for her because it is not her first time and it was unprotected..she recalls it lasted about 2 minutes because someone came downstairs and she was prettty hammered...can she be pregnant should she get EC?! im scared for her HELP!!!
She needs to see a doctor right away. She needs a pregnancy test and she needs to get tested for STDs. Her parents don't have to find out. All she has to do is call the doctor's office, explain the situation, and make an appointment. Better safe than sorry. Get her to the doctor NOW.
my boyfirend and i dont have sex or do really intense stuff like that...but one time we were making out and his penis was right on my vagina and he had boxers and athletic shorts on and i had just underwear on...he was pressing on me pretty hard for no longer than 10ish minutes (it didnt go in me)..
Im pretty sure we both got "wet" but i dont think his could go through his shorts and my underwear...and then INTO me.
is there any way that i could get pregnant from that?
Yes you can get pregnant from that. Anyone that tells you otherwise has no idea what they are talking about. If you don't believe me, you can ask any doctor or health teacher. The chances are slim that you're pregnant, but it's still a possibility.
If you're going to continue to dry hump like that, I highly suggest you to get your boyfriend some condoms. It's better safe than sorry.
For right now, if you really think you're pregnant, go buy a pregnancy test.
Alright so like me and my best friend used to be really close, but then i met this guy that i like and my best friend and him don't get along at all. Ill admit he is an ass to her but thats only because she's annoying when he is around. So when i go to hang out with the guy i like and his friends (my other friend and i leave school for lunch or whatever) she gets soooo mad. I hang out with her a lot on the days that i leave to hang out with the guy i like because we have the same off hour and other stuff.
She'll like get super mad and cry and all this ridiculous stuff just because the guy i like and her dont like each other. I want to keep going to lunch with the guys and my friend because we have a lot of fun, but i dont want her to be mad at me!!! WE arent as close anymore like we used to be because she keeps getting mad at me! I donno what to do. :[
if it helps im 15/f
Two things need to happen here for this to work.
The first thing is you need to decide if you're willing to risk your friendship over a guy. If not, then tell the guy you like that it wouldn't kill him to be a little nicer to your friend. If he's an ass to her, stop him. If you defend your friend, he should stop and then they can get along. If he doesn't stop, it's time to choose: him or your friend.
The second thing is your friend needs to realize that you are allowed to hang out with whoever you want to. I can understand she's mad that he is a jerk to her, but other than that she needs to get over the fact that you want to hang out with someone other than her. Try to include her a lot more. Once you can get the guy you like to stop being an ass to her, they will hopefully get along and your friend won't mind hanging out with them so much.
Sit down with your friend and have a long talk with her. Tell her you don't want to lose her friendship over a boy, but there's no reason why she has to get so pissed off at you just because you want to hang out with him sometimes. If she's a good friend, things will smooth over. If he's a good guy, he'll stop being a jerk to her. If he doesn't, you probably don't want to have anything to do with anyway.
I sent advicenators.com thousand questions about my love life and they all answer "talk to her"
So I did but not face to face.(because I couldn't do it) So I told her to chat with me online and so she did.
I told her how I felt about her more than a friend. (we been friends for almost 8 years) and she respond:
"I don’t know what gender I like. (Yet), male, female, I’m not looking 4 a relationship at the moment so I not looking at them like that."
I told her I was glad that she told me the truth and we went on chatting.
Questions are:
What did she mean?
Did you think she doesn’t want to go out with me not yet unlit she is ready?
Should I wait for her?
She meant one of two things: either she really is trying to find out what her sexuality is as at this time and isn't ready to start a relationship OR it could be an excuse to not go out with you.
Obviously, whether she wants to go out with you right now or not, she needs her space. If she really is trying to find out if she likes guys or girls, bugging her about going out with you isn't going to help her chances. Let her find out who she is before pressuring her into a relationship. All you can do is offer your support if she needs it. She'll be glad you did.
No, I don't think you should wait for her. Do you have to stop liking her? Of course not. But I just think it would be a good idea to move on to better things for right now. She's figuring things out for herself right now. There's no use in you sitting around and waiting for her. Go out. Meet new people. Have fun. Keep living your life. If it's meant to be, then it's gonna be.
:)
ok this is reallya question and i dont really need advice. i just wanted to tell you, in your picture you look like ashlee simpson.... has anyone ever told you that?
Lol wow no I haven't gotten that. I've been told I look like Kirsten Dunst, but that's in person.
Thank you... I think? Lol!