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Essay
ok im 13/ f and i have to write an essay about if i think bigfoot is real or not. this is what my essay says:
Many people say that bigfoot is just a myth; that people just dress up in gorilla suits and walk around in the woods. i personally think that bigfoot is real
for over 100 years, people have reported sightings of bigfoot some people have even found hair and footprints of the creature. people have taken many pictures and filmed videos of bigfoot. one of the most famous videos of bigfoot is called " The Patterson Footage".
The patterson footage is a very clear image of a female bigfoot walking in the woods. the footage was taken by roger patterson and bob gimlin in 1967.
The patterson footge has never been debunked as a hoax. no one has ever demonstrated how it was done. neither the original " costume" nor a matching costume has ever been presented by honest skeptics nor by various impostures who have claimed to have worn the costume.
Large amounts of money have been spent trying to make a matching costume. the best hollywood costume design talents have been brought to the task but none have ever succeesed. the british broadcasting corporation has spent the most money so far and they have failed miserabily.
Every attempt and failire to make a similar costume strenghthens the case for the authenticity of the patterson footage. comparing a man in a costume side-by-side with the patterson creature in motion help highlight the anatomical differences.
Many scientist have looked at the patterson footage over and over again. they have finally discovered that if you look closely at the footage,you can see breast on the bigfoot. many of the sigting that you hear of say that the bigfoot is male, so who would make this one female?
Even tough you may or may not think bigfoot is a real creature, i think that bigfoot is real.
so can you please tell me what you personally think of my essay cause i really need to make a good grade on this. sorry its long. Thanks!
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I'm not sure what dimension you're in, but plagiarism isn't cool.
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Overall it's pretty good, but you have a few grammar errors and spelling errors. Just to point some of them out, in the very last sentence you put "tough" instead of "though." And in the second to last paragraph, "sighting" should have an "s" and the end.
It's just little things like that that need improvements.
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it's really good. (i personally don't think bigfoot is real) but it's still very good, i hate writing papers but i still know what a good one looks like and this definitally is, (the subject is kinda funny though) i know you'll get a good(if not spectacular) grade. hope i was helpful.
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Sounds good to me. The only problem I see is a spelling error- "impostures" should be "imposters"- unless I misunderstood the sentence.
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It needs a lot of work to be brutally honest with you. As it stands now your teacher is likely to assign a C or a D here. I do a lot of writing with some of it being professional so I offer the following advice.
You need a good lead sentence. In your lead you need to tell your readers right out of the gate your verdict that bigfoot is real and why you think so.
The second paragraph give your reader reasons that back up that theory and argue your point. Right now all you have is a ton of info you looked up with no attribution as to where you found it and saying "Many People think" or "People think" etc. needs to be cut out as how do you know what others or many are thinking and just who are these people?
Instead tell your reader that members of the public are divided on the issue of whether bigfoot is real or not. The skeptics think X and those who think bigfoot is real believe this because of X.
Back up your point and then present arguements for and against it and tie it all back to your lead sentence. You'll be fine. You have the info but just haven't structured it correctly nor have you attributed the facts to anyone and that's key.
Go give it another go as a revision will work if you follow the structure above and tell the reader where you got all the stats and attribute it to articles you read like so and so of the La Times wrote/says bigfoot is a myth because of X.
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