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crushhh
16/f...hes 17
*LONG...SORRY...BUT NEED HELP*
okay so i feel like no one...no guy in this world will ever like me enough to actually try for me...to actually take their time and give some to me to show me that they actually like me and want to be with me...i always feel like im bothering someone or im not good enough for them...i know i dont try too hard but i know its not that im not trying enough...i definitly try...
i feel ike if i dont text first or call first or instant message first...then nothing will go ANYWHERE...i know this guy likes me because we got sort of "set up" from my friend tim who is also dating my best friend jen...you see...tim used to be best friends with this kid dave
and it staretd out with me dating dave and tim dating jen and it was so awesome cuase me and jen were best friends and tim and dave were best friends and it was just so awesome....then dave suddenly changed to just went through all this stuff in his life and lost me, his girlriend, tim, his longlonglong time best friend and a lot more...but i had some hang ups about him...i felt as though he never just "tried" hard enough...i mean i know its a joint effort but i feel like im doing all the work all the time!...while tim started out crushing on jen and then me and dave met through that...timjust showed jen so much more. he would text her all the time and IM her and little things like that which showed her he really liked and was interested in her while dave was a little slow with that....well a lot slow...but now were over but this other guy is a friend of tim's also and he is just SUCH a good guy...a way bvetter guy than dave and i really feel ike i had to go through all the pain with dave just to get me to him because this other guy is really sweet...
i knew him a little becuase hes been friends with tim and dave for a long time but i never really got to know him until last sunday and we hit it off great and kissed and he is just such a genuine sweet guy
then we hung out friday, saturday, and sunday this weekend and were making out and holding hands and getting close and being cute and flirting and he called me a lot during this past week before the weekend...tim and jen tell me he likes me and is def interested in me....and i know he wouldnt lead me on...and he, including me, is not the kind of person to rush into a relationship...but i def want one with him....i know he was talking to another girl before me but stopped like the weekend before we started talking...he said it wasnt that things didnt work out...just that they stopped talking and stuff cause he was just really busy and had a lot going on and didnt see her and stuff...i know hje doesnt like her like that anymore and stuff but im just scared that that will happen to us. we dotn go to the same school but he does drive...and he doesnt go to school...hes done with high school and is starteing college in the fall......
i saw him sunday then texted him monday and he didnt answer then i IMED him sying..where are you! i miss you! and i came back later and saw that he answered later on saying awww....but i was away...then i came back and said HEY! and he never answered and it didnt say he was idle or away or anything which is always says....then when i comment him on myspace he doesnt comment back but hell comment someone else back...
i just want to feel worthy enough for someone...i want to be able to sit back just even for ONE day and have someone try for ME and take time out of their day for ME...
i dont get it...i know hes not the type to "play" girls and stuff....and i heard from tim whos like his bets rfiend that he does like me and its evident when we're together...i just dont get the whole thing....if he was really crushing on me wouldnt he text me and do those cute little things like text goodm orning or say sometrhing cute when im in school or leave me cute IMS or SOMETHING?
why do i have to do it first?
and now yesterday he didnt even answer me....
and it sucks a lot this time cause i REALLY REALLY like him....i cant even explain how much i do...more than any guy ive ever liked...and i dated dave for 6 months and i feel like this new guy knows more about me and i know more about him than when dating dave....i just know hes a really good guy and im a great person too...
HELP!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Every girl wants attention from the guy she likes. When they don't get it, they get upset. Which is totally understandable. Guys SHOULD go out of their way to do something nice for the girl they like. But there's something you need to remember: you two ARE NOT dating yet. You said he is going to college in the fall, right? He probably has a lot going on. Realize that it's okay for him to have some space. Since he obviously likes you, and wants to take things slow, he's not going to be sending you a million texts everyday. He probably doesn't want to scare you away.
Instead of just texting him or IMing him everyday, why not call him a few nights a week? Have a nice conversation with him and talk about your interests. Just get to know each other. Do that for a little while and then stop calling him as much. He'll probably start missing you and then he'll be the one who calls.
The truth is, guys like getting attention just as much as girls. He might even be shy. Like I said before, he might just be worried he'll freak you out if he talks to you too much. If you're the once to introduce conversation, he'll be really greatful. Esp. if he likes you.
If you really like him, don't ignore him in attempt to get him to talk to you. That will make things worse.
Since you guys are already "making out" and stuff, there are only two reasons I can come up with as to why he's not contacting you as much: he either really is busy or just sees you as a fling.
Gender roles are changing as time goes on. Just because you're the girl, don't expect the guy to make all the moves. Once you give them attention, they'll return the favor. Even if it's not right away.
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Hey, the thing is, I've never really liked communicating thru the internet. It just causes so much misunderstanding.
And you know, you can't impose on him what you think he should do to you if he likes you. Every guy reacts differently to the girl he's interested in. Some guys are just not as mushy and sticky as Tim is.
You have to stop comparing others to him. It isn't fair to him. It doesn't mean that he likes you less since he isn't as responsive to your online comments and messages. He likes you, and you know it, and the others know that as well. So you're just gonna let this not responding issue screw up your impression of him?
If he didn't put "away" or whatever to his online status, it doesn't mean he's avoiding you. Sometimes I have to go to the toilet to shit and so I just go without changing my online status. And the others thought that I'm avoiding them. It's not fair to me, isn't it?
He could've been busy as well (prolly he wants to shit too?) and was away from his computer. He could've been busy preparing for college. I know I had a hell lot to do when I was preparing for uni. And maybe, the comment that you added on his myspace doesn't really require a reply in his opinion? Come on man, have more trust in him and in yourself.
Tell yourself to go easy on him and on yourself if he doesn't reply your messages. Call him and talk to him, find out what's keeping him so busy and all. The phone is the next best thing to communicating face to face.
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Ok. Never say that a guy will not ever like you enough to try for you. The moment you start believing that, it's almost giving a guy a reason/excuse not to. You gotta believe you're worth the effort and worth having. You're worth trying for - don't ever think you're not!
About this situation though: I cheered for you when you let dave go! he didn't deserve you. This new guy though he seems like a good guy. I know it's annoying that guys don't do the little things that girls do (trust me I know how annoying) & its frustrating. Guys sometimes don't understand the sentimental value but i learned that these things don't really matter if he does them or not. It only matters if he treats you right and he makes you happy & feel good about yourself. If you told him how you felt about him and your fears & if he completely blew you off... then thats completely different. He's probably just busy, but if he likes you he'll make time. Just don't freak out if he doesn't answer back straight away. There's no point in being paranoid & overanalyzing everything. Just enjoy this, enjoy him, be yourself, be happy together, and see where it goes! =0)
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It's not that you're not trying hard enough, you're trying too hard and acting a little desperate. Look, after seeing him on Sunday and then telling him you missed him one day later makes a guy think you're desperate for attention or a boyfriend, especially after only knowing you a short time. I'm not saying play hard to get exactly, just be a little coy. You do not need to know where he is at all times. You do not need to text him and IM him every second every day just because you're not doing anything else. When you act 'needy' which is what the above statement basically screams, guys lose interest. He doesn't want to be your lifeline, he wants to be your boyfriend. He doesn't want to feel like you're going to fall apart and start crying the minute he cancels plans with you to hang out with the guys he's abandoned for two weeks.
Have a life! When he sees that you can have a life without him, he'll want a life with you.
Hope that helped!
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