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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
I am a 14-year old gurl and I applied for a $250 scholarship to a writing camp this summer and I won it! I am attending a one-week writing camp in Michigan...which is over 6 hours away. I am wondering if you can give me some hints/tips on writing(all different techniques such as poetry..short stories, etc...)...and also some topics! (I write a lot of poetry and am well-known for it too) Thanks!
Well it depends on what kids of writings . Like poetry for example try Haiku's , or simply try to express yourself when it comes to writing poetry . Another unique way to do in poetry , is to express other people's feelings & emotions on some issue's . Really when writing, keep a open mind and express your concerns and other's too . I don't know about any topic's you'd have to tell me what they assign u . Well good luck and I also have to say that I hope u do well at this camp .
hey its me again ull probally reconize me comparing to all of my questions. well anyways anthony now likes me and im so0oo frikin HAPPY! he started to like me yesterday. but turns out his grandfather passed awa too. he didnt tell me my friends brotha did. But the problem is i took your advice b4 and i went for it and asked him out. And i kno hes gonna say yes but he hasnt yet. and i dunn wanna rush him or anythin cuz he still pretty sad about his grandpas death. and i juss wanted to kno how longs should i wait to bring it up its already to been about 3days since i mention about askin him out. Ps. he still dont know that i kno bout his grandpa hoo passed away yesterda y sadly.
luv awlays-confused girl
Well, you want to bring it to his attention that you know that his granfather died, but you don't want to drag it out and don't act too sympathetic . Let him know that you are compassionate about his lost . Then wait a day or 2 before you mention dating and if he mentions it then do what u think best . You probably don't want to rush him into a a relationship because of the death and all though .
My friend has a heart condition that she hides from just about every one of her friends except for me. The problem is that she is kind of a party girl. She smokes about a pack a day, gets high about twice a week during the summer and once a week during the school year and she drinks excessively on a very frequent basis. I've really really considered doing a few things but I have encountered so many problems. The first thing is that she absolutely doesn't want to quit even though it could kill her. Her mind set is that if she doesnt live til the age when fun switches from getting messed up, playing football in the rain and then having sex with your latest boy toy, to sipping tea and knocking a tennis ball back and forth, then she's not missing out on too much. Unfortunately for me, I kind of agree with her about that. Anyways, the last time one of her friends talked to her about it she quit talking to him and now will rarely even answer the phone when he calls. Another problem is that she lives 1600 miles from me and I only spend 3 weeks a year with her this year, though im currently saving up $1200 to go see her and my buds there this winter, so I cant really talk to her face to face. I would tell her best friend but she made me absolutely promise not to mention her heart condition to him, so I'm not sure what to do. The rate she's going a person without her condition would die around 40, and with her mind set, I could accept that, but if she doesnt quit soon she could die before I even get to see her again, and to be honest, that scares me so horribly that it was all I could do to write this. Thank you for any advice you might have.
You need to talk to your friend . I don't care if she hates you for it because, that's what friends do . Friends tell each other what they sometimes don't want to hear . She should understand this if she really was your friend . If she rejects you then there's nothing u can do about that . You'll just have to let her do what she does to herself . It's her choice . All you can do is provide her with some advice that u hope she'll take . I think your friend knows that she can die from what she's doing to herself but there is nothing u can do about that . Just tell her that she can discuss any issue she has with you . Let her know that you will support her even if she's angry with u from expressing yourself . Later, if there's a later, she'll understand . Some people have to learn from their mistakes and she will learn . I don't like the thought of her learning the hard way, but sometimes that's the best way . I really hope that your friend finds help and I hope that this advice was some help because, the important issue is your friends problem . Are u willing to take a chance at loosing your friend because, of her problem ? Are you willing to loose your friendship over something you know that's right ? These are the questions you have to ask yourself . Of course the answers aren't always easy and simple, but its all up to , what your heart is telling you to do ? What are your instints telling you to do ? Remember this is up to u ? By.
theres this guy who ive liked alot and hes really nice funny sweet amf hot but he doesnt notice me yea were firnds but y doesnt he like my!! he likes all my freinds but me!! y me
Well, the only way to be sure that he likes you is to ask him no matter how afraid you are but it's up to you . Tell him how you feel and tell him that it doesn't matter if he doesn't feel the same although it does matter to you . Atleast it will help you feel better but more awkward around him . It's up to you though .
when are the earliest signs of pregnancy and what are they??? how can you avoid a birth IF NESSECARY??
The earliest signs of a period are;
(1) If you have a huge appetite and just can't seem to get enough of the food .
(2) If your period is late by 5 or ten days more then buy a test or go to the doctor .
You can avoid a birth by abortion and that's the only way I can see you doing this . There is a pill that u can take that allows you not to get pregnant . After 24 hours of having sex, go to the doctor and ask him for it . I hope I was some help .
Ok... theres a guy i dated and ... i broke up with him lik 2ce ~ only cause the first time was because i was scared to put my heart in sum1s hands again... but we got thru that and got back together... and the 2nd time was because everyone got in the way and i was really confused about everything and so i jus ended it cause i didnt kno what was going on... i finnaly realized i shouldnt let people get n the way... and that i really trusted this guy... and i kinda want him back... we both admitted we still love each other... but he dont want to get back with me yet... he said why would he wanna jump into it cause hes scared id break up with him again... and i dont kno how to prove that i wouldnt... i dont really know where me and him stand... we still talk all the time... last night we talked about some of our good times and he was lik i dont lik to think about it cause then it makes me want it ... and im lik well whats wrong with wanting something... and hes all idk... so im so confused should i wait for him?... should i just give up and say its over... cause me and him had something ive never had before... he was different from all the other guys... he gave me this feeling... idk... this advice girl needs some advice... wanna lend a helpin thought?...
Well, I think you might want to stay with him . Wait but don't wait too long . I think you should wait for probably a month or maybe 3 weeks . If it's been 2 months then this guy isn't sure about the relationship, and you probably want someone who'll be surely and a person who'll trust you . Give him a little time , and if he doesn't make up his mind, then leave him alone . All you can do is respect his decision to start a new relationship or to not start a new relationship . If he decides he wants to, then GO FOR IT . I think that you two are good for each other because you write very passionately about him . If you start a new relationship with this guy , then always keep the line of communication open . Trust me , it'll help you alot, and that's the reason why some relationships don't last today because, they're afraid to express their true feelings and this can come back to bite you hard .I hope I was some help . By and have a nice day !!!
ok i am 14 almost 15 and i am seein this boy named tony and he is 13 almost 14 and he acts ignorant to me when he is around his friends and the last time i talked to him i told him we are done ad never talk to me again because i was just really mad!! and now we havnt talked him 2 almost 3 weeks and i am upset how do i get him to talk to me i just want to go crazy because i dotn have him with me well please tell me what i should do!! thanks for you advice anyone
~*~*~katie~*~*~
HE LIKES TO ACT IGNORANT TO YOU IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS . WELL ACT IGNORANT TOWARDS HIM IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS . CALL HIM AN " IGNORANT , SELF CENTERED JERK, GIT, AND @$$ HOLE " . OH AND IF U REALLY WANT THE TRICK U COULD SAY THAT THE $EX WAS
TERRIBLE AND THAT HE WAS HORRIBLE .
OR
YOU COULD COME OVER TO HIS HOUSE IN A MATURE ADULT WAY AND DISCUSS WHATEVER U WANT TO DISCUSS .
OR
YOU COULD TALK TO HIM AND YELL AT HIM .
ok im 13 and my friend thats 12 and weve been friends ever since like we were 2 and shes a year younger then me n stuff so she used to look up to me and when i was in 7th grade and she was going into 6th she was super scared and so i told her it was no big deal and so ya she did rilly good makin friends n stuff cuz shes like rilly popular so then there is a girl that shes like best friends w/ now and shes like a rilly "bad girl" or however u wanna explain that and she steals drinks n smokes n stuff and shes only 12 too! so then those 2 became rilly good friends n just last weekend she went up to her cabin for a week and my friend since she was w/ her friend got caught stealing drinking and smoking so now im like super mad at her n stuff and shes always like god im sorry it was a mistake and i told her before she went up there to be careful cuz i knew that was gonna happen and it did.. and im super mad at both of them cuz her friend got her into it becuz she told my friend to smoke drink and steal stuff and idk wut to do cuz everytime i try to talk to her about it and try to tell her not to do that ever again and her parents found out and they didnt do anything they just grounded her for a week and then left it at that i mean shes 12 years old and i know shes gonna do it again! and im scared and i dont know wut to do cuz idk how to talk to her if shes gonna tell me not to talk about it.. so wut should i do?! ill rate u for this if u answer this! pleez i need help before she goes n does it again!
Alright these are some words that you should say to your friend .
" You're my friend and all, but we have to talk
about the influence your new friend is having on you . I know she's pretty cool, but she can really get you into trouble, and I'm sorry if I'm acting like a parent who's getting on your nerves but you have to know this . Your new friend shouldn't try to tell you to steal stuff because, you and only you choose to steal stuff not your friend . It's your decision and you could get into serious trouble . You could go to DJJ and spend the rest of your term for Grand Auto Theft in prison . It's not worth it . You have alot more potential but anyway it's up to you what you want to do with your life . I'm your friend and what you want to do with your life is up to you, but even if I am not a 100% down with you , I am there for you when ever you need me . Juat think about it" .
Sometimes your friends have to learn the hard way . If she doesn't listen then and she continues to steal, then she will get caught and she'll pay for her actions and this is nothing to play with . This is something to worry about . If she doesn't stop stealing with her friend, then you NEED TO TALK TO YOUR 12 YEAR OLD FRIENDS PARENTS . SHE MAY NOT UNDERSTAND , BUT LATER SHE WILL AND SHE PROBABLY WILL THANK YOU . IT'S A REBELOIUS PART AND TIME OF HER LIFE, BUT U HAVE THE POWER TO STOP THIS . SO THE QUESTION IS, DO YOU LOVE YOUR FRIEND ENOUGH TO RISK TELLING HER PEARENTS ABOUT THE 12 YEAR OLD GIRL AND HER FRIEND? DO YOU LOVE YOUR FRIEND ENOUGH TO RISK YOUR FRIENDSHIP OR HER GOING TO JAIL WHEN KNOWING YOU CAN STOP THIS BY SIMPLY TELLING HER PARENTS ?
If her parents do nothing about it, then whatever happens is not your fault because, u did whatever was in your power and that girl have to live with stealing and not listening to u for the rest of her life . Think about it . It's complicated but so simple . Talk to her. If that doesn't work then talk to her parents . If that doesn't work , well so let it be .
You think you got it all but you know you never really do I thought I had it all and than I found out or it just seems that I don't. I have many reason why I just don't act like I do or say this is how I feel how my life is going right now.Maybe u can help me out~Kristen~
Of course no one has it all . Not even celebrities have it all . They may have alot of money, but their money can't buy true love,friendship, and happiness . I know that your saying or maybe not"why do they need true love and happiness with all that money"? Well , when we grow and become adults , true love, happiness, and friendship are what we as human beings want to hold and desire . It's what makes us humans . No one has it all , and one day you'll except it . It's just the way it is , and that's the way it's always been . Kristen, I think you need to be true to yourself(content with who you are) ,know where you come from, never forget about those who love and support you, have a strong backbone , and be independent . Never hide your feelings and bottle things up inside because, it's too much to bare . Maybe right now it seems a little bit but I know these things come back as quick as a knife . As long as you're being true to yourself, then I see no problem . I hope I was helpful to you, and have a nice day!!!
Emotions
I feel as if i'm outside myself watching life. It feels so stange, like a cat in new land.
YOu think I have no emotion, then you don't know me. If you could understand me, just listen you can hear my thoughts. The volume is always hight never quiet.
my smile is automatic, like a machine programed.
I want to tell you more, I want you to understand.
I don't know who I am. Too many voices. too many emotions.
I feel so lost! No one understands. I'm so insecure just waiting for your secure.
I reach out, I yell but my arms don't move not a sound escapes my mouth.
I'm so alone, So many voices, so many emotions....
Copyright ©2004 Kathleen Janette Bare
Is this a good poem? Let me know. I just wrote it.
Just trust your instincts because in the end they'll always get u through, and THAT'S REALLY GOOD . YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD RIGHT THAT SAME PEOM AND HAVE IT PUBLISHED ONLINE 4 FREE ON
WWW.POETRY.COM . IT'S REAL GOOD WEB SITE AND YOU CAN ENTER TO WIN MONEY AS WELL . U HAVE TALENT .
I have a problem with my guy friends.. Any guy I become friends with always winds up liking me! If I start talking to a guy from a class or with a locker next to mine, a month later he'll ask me out or admit that he likes me. That usually ruins the friendship & makes it awkward. I mean, I'm flattered, really. But I wish that I could just have guy friends who don't all ask me out. How can I prevent this from happening all thru high school?
Tell your guy friends form the get go of your friendships that you only want to be friends because, you're afraid or don't want the friendship to be awkward between the two of you . Stress that it's not him , it's just that u really need him to understand . By .
I kind of like one of my guy friends... He's a year younger than me, but I feel like there's lots of chemistry between us. He even admitted that he likes me as more than a friend. It's so sweet. But a couple days ago, he was talking to my friend & asked her if I'd ever go out w/ him. She said "yeah right. she likes 2 other guys. not like she'd ever like you!!!" It was so rude. I asked my friend about it & she just LAUGHED. I feel bad about my friend's behavior. I want to apologize so badly.
I was thinking, for an apology, what if I kissed him? Do you think that's a little too dramatic, or is that a good idea?
Alright call him and arrange a date then:
(1) Tell him that you are sorry about what your
friend said .
(2) Tell him that it's not true and if half of it
is then don't hide it but tell him he means
more to you .
(3) If he gets all mad and dramatic or worrisome,
then kiss him and tell him how u feel about
him and why you want to feel about him .
(4) Try to steer the conversation else where but
don't make it obvious that you're doing this .
(5) If he brings the conversation upi again,
don't act as if u want to aviod it although u
may want to . But stress how much he means to
you and how sorry you are about what your
friend said .
P.S. Good luck and I hope I was some help . Let me know what went down . Have a nice day !!!
I'm going into the 9th grade this year. I'm looking forward to it, except for one part.. I have to ride the bus. I rode it in the 7th grade & part of the 8th grade. A bunch of the guys on the bus are total jerks. They harassed me & my friend & one guy even grabbed my friend's butt! And the bus driver doesn't give a crap about it. I dreaded going to school if I had to ride the bus that day. What can I do to prevent myself from riding the bus? I don't wanna be a victim of harassment anymore.
Have you talked to your parents about the harrassing and stuff like that ? Well, if you haven't , then maybe it's time for you to take action . Now I don't like violence, but you have to teach some people lessons when they do things like gropping you or your friend . I don't know about that but u are going to have to get over that not wanna riding the bus kind of deal . I know how it is because on our bus, they curse, fight, harass, and they are just foul . Talk to your parents, but sometimes you have to give people a good knock up side the head before they realize to leave you alone . Have a nice day, and good luck !!!
her story
female,20 2 children eldest 2 youngest 7 weeks,differant dads when i drink alchol i get violent not al the time just when im stressed my partner over the past 4 weeks my partener has broken my finger n given me a black eye on both occasions he has said sorry and it will never happen again. he has taken my eldest son on as his own. i dont want to be a single mum with 2 children by differant fathers but i dont want to be a nervous wreck either i feel low in myself he alwys puts me down telling me im ugly and fat i just dont know which way to turn the violence only happens when we are both drunk please give me advice.
his story
this is what my girlfriend wrote.
just to clear a few things up. she used to hit me a lot. after about 5 different incidents a told her that if she didnt seek help i was leaving her. she went to see a shrink once! when she said i broke her finger what actually happened was she hit me so i held her hand so she hit me with the other so i grabbed that hand to so then she butted me in the nose so i butted her back and pushed her off the bed and thats how she broke her finger.
with the black eye we had an argument so i went and got in the spare bed she followed me in a started shouting and went for me and proper scratched my face (which has scared) so i pushed on the bed so she came for me again so i punched her. now i thoroughly regret what i did and the only reason it happened is coz we had both had vodka. i have quit drinking full stop. she on the other hand hasnt. i do really regret what happened but no one out there is perfect. i love her to pieces and i WONT do it again no matter wat u woman say. u woman have said leave him and get a restraining order. would u say that if u were twenty didnt work but looked after the kids while ur boyfriend went out and earned u both £25,000 a year and gave u everything u wanted. gave up his social life and got rid of all his friends to stay in every nite and look after you and the kids. i dont think u would. i know money aint every thing but it does help provide her with a good life style
a few other points. on the night i gave her a black eye she was extremely pissed and had already battered two girls that night for no reason she was completely out of control. she is an extremely violent person as well. i aint perfect by a long way but i aint 100% to blame and i dont think she should leave me like all you woman say cause i need her and she needs me. i love her no matter how much shit she gives me, okay i broke the boundary that you shouldnt hit a woman but she needed to know that it isnt nice being hit by your partner. how many woman would try taking an overdose because there boyfreind went out with a few mates from work (the first time ever!!) and stayed out till 9pm. not many. how was i meant to know she had post natal depression. how many guys actually know wat a woman is going through when she says she has it, none!!! now i have realised how badly she needs help and i have started giving it her.
do u think she should leave me
I think u two only need to drink a certain amount of alchohol . Just to get the measure of things because, the way you are talking, it seems like she starts with u and u go back .I really don't know but I think u should exercise some control over your drinking , and then see if u both can handle drinking together . U have to think about the children . They are watching this . Do this 4 them . I think if you continue to hit the WOMAN U LOVE, then she should leave u . Try not to put her down . She's a mother and that's very important because, mother's need to be content with themselves . Get a hold on how much u two drink or worry about you yourself . If that doesn't work, then just stop fully drinking alchohol because, being under the influence can bring loss of control . Be careful .
does any one know a decent diet that a guy who is 6"3 and weighing 17 stones (dont know what that is in america. think its about 240lbs) lose about 2 stone (28 lbs) i do go to the gym but i wanna turn the flab in to muscle and turn my belly into a peter andre style 6 pack
In your diets , you want to include vegetable's and fruits atleast every time in the day u get the temtation to eat something that's unhealthy for u . The body needs protein as well so make sure you get some meat into you . If you don't eat meat then this doesn't have to be incorporated in the diet . You want to make sure you get plenty of fiber like eat 3 things a week that contains fiber . Oh, and you might loose weight but you're not going to get rock mucle's not even strong muscles if you don't incorporate some exercises in your diet . Try it out for 2 to 3 months . If you follow a diet plands without sweets, it may be possible to see results with in a month .
what are your turn ons?
do you prefer bad boys or nice guys?
do you like a guy who calls you every night or a guy who calls you every other week?
with a girl you havent seen for a while, but really like(it was mutual two years ago, but it didnt work out), how do you ask her if shes into you?
Well, I don't know who you are directing the question to , but I am going to answer it right now . Well, I'd like the good guy because, I need someone to talk to . I'd also need someone who can keep me in line when I'm about to go a little crazy or miss behavior . I like nice guys that I think I have figured out, but at the end , they always suprise me . I like him to show his bad side a little to because, I don't want a goody too shoe for a boyfriend unless I can realte to him . It really has to be a person who's mysterious , hot, and a person I can realate to .I think you should start out with a typical "hello", and then ask her how she would feel if you and her were tio get involved in a relationship together . It's not going to be easy,BUT U SHOULDN'T CHANGE YOUR SELF 4 HER . YOU NEED TO BE U , AND IF SHE CAN'T EXCEPT U 4 U , THEN SHE DOESN'T DESERVE U . I HOPE I GAVE U SOME HELPFUL ADVICE .
well i juss got a new bf today.. and you know how u hab those awkard silent moments at the begining of a new relationshp?!! well i dont like them!! what can i talk to him about htat will make him open up more..and not be like "so..yeah.." LOl. PLEASE HELP.
OH and we already takled abuot music and sports... LOL.. any other topics!!??
thanks alot you guys.
Well u can talk about things that u used to talk about before u hooked up or things that u think that he would like to talk about in a place where u feel comftorable about the conversation .
There is this drug called "wet". People say it is made up embalming fluid, which is used for dead people or whatever.. I read that it is made with embalming fluid and PCP. My question is then: What exactly is embalming fluid made of? And what exactly is PCP made of?
P.S. I don't do it. But I want to let someone know how many messed up things that can get put into thier body.
Look , I really don't know about embalming fluid , but I do know what PCP is, and u know that it's not good . If u want to fond out more info 4 someone , then I suggest you go to a search engine on the web such as ask jeeves, google, and etc . Have a nice day !!!
P.S.if it's fluids that they inject into dead people's body, then I definetly wouldn't inject it into my body . Not saying that u would .
how do u get people to ask you for advice? where can i put my advice column where its safe, no one can do any harm to me, and where i can get a lot of questions? where do u put your advice column?
Well, to get people to ask u 4 advice , then let them know that you're real . That you care, and really give advice from your heart . I don't think that people would do any harm to your advice column either because, I've been on the site 4 3 months(I know its not long period of time) and no one has altered my column . But if u find a way to keep your column safe then let me know . You can get alot of qquestions by answering questions on the 1st page through the 4th page . Your advice column is already there . Off to the side, u should have it where it says,"your advice column" . Click it and it'll transfer u straight to the column . Your column is on the web site , advicenators . Hope I was some help . Can u rate my advice , and can u leave an explanation . Thanks if u would . Have a nice day !!!
hey, can you tell me how to get those stars listed above your name when you click on columnists? they tell your average rating, you know? thankz a bunch!!
I think those stars represent your ratings and all. So try your best with the advice column and you should get them . It took me atleast I think a month before I got some . It takes time .Have a nice day!!! Oh,can u rate my advice and leave an explanation . Thanks .