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Hi, i am 15 and have horrible inner thigh fat. Which diets do you prefer without drugs or eating disorders? i also belong to the gym recently and what equippment is good for that? i have tried eating less like only 3 little meals a day, it works but it also slows down my matab. anyways, i tried cutting out carbs fully and that didn't work. I also don't like fruit so it's hard. and i think i should eat about 7 healthy little snakcs/ meas throughout the day but I HATE FRUIT/ Grilled chicken. Would running help? Help me asap.

Hey there,
Eating healthy is always a good way to cut down on calories. Try to eat three meals a day, even if you don't feel hungry. You don't have to have each food group all in one meal, but throughout the whole day try to get the requirements of each food group for your age. It keeps your body energized and helps you prepare for exercise later on. If you don't know what I mean about requirements, check the food guide on the internet. As for exercise: walk/run for at least an hour daily and do squats. Squats can do wonders if you do them right and do them daily. Try this website: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/thighs/exercises/top-thigh-exercises/

If you want to find any good exercises, just search thigh exercises up on Google or on Youtube; they are great resources. Remember, a diet is not necessary to lose weight, just a goal that is being put to into action

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So, I'm not talking about my first kiss-I've been kissed before, although not much. And I don't know if my boyfriend has been kissed before-but I'm guessing he has. I'm talking about OUR first kiss. We haven't been together very long (btw, we're both 16) but we haven't yet kissed. And I'm wondering, should I leave that up to him? He's shy (we both are to some degree), but he is the guy, and he's not THAT shy. Or should I take matters into my own hands (he's quite the gentleman, maybe he's wondering what I'm ok with, and besides, I tend to be more agressive). Or should I try to talk about it? So-wait for him to make a move, just go ahead and kiss him, or what? How would I go about the correct option?

Hey,
Should you leave it up to him? Thats all up to you. It sounds as if he would be comfortable enough to kiss you. As you said, he may just be unsure about how you feel at the moment. If you would like him to kiss you, give him hints. Look up and lean into him if you feel like you are having a connection at the moment; don't forget to smile :) If you feel you have waited long enough and would really like to have a kiss with him, then just go for it. I am sure he will be pleasantly surprised. If you wouldn't feel comfortable just going for it, then talk to him about it. Say, I really want to kiss you right now. Even though it may sound awkward at the moment, if he is a gentleman as you say, he should be all up for it and most likely will kiss you ;) Plus, then he will know how you truely feel about him.

Only you know what the right way of going about this. Whatever you feel is right in the moment, will be right. Trust the moment; believe me.. he will love it no matter what

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Help I need advice. One of my best friends we will call her Jen, is very rude sometimes. She will say things in round about ways that are very hurtful. For instance: We had a neighbor steal something from us that I had not noticed missing for a year. I had talked to the neighbor and Jen said the neighbor must have thought i was a real dumb ass for not seeing it was missing after a year/ Also the last time we all went out she was very attacking of me from my perfume to my religion. Its also the language She told my friend that her daughter was gonna grow up to be a real #@! like hers. My friends daughter is 7. what bothers me is that i feel like i dont trust her because she later throws up mean things because this is how she really feels.. The dumb comment happened today I am really hurt because I am far from dumb. And if that the way she feels about me why I am I her friend

Hey,
I believe you are her friend because you know she is a good person inside, you have expirienced good things in the past with her, and you know you can help her when she may need it. You are a good friend and so when you see her acting this way your natural emotions tell you to help the situation.

Tell her how you feel when she says mean things, not just to you but to others as well. Let her know that it hurts and you would appreciate it if she could be a little nicer to everyone. You are far from dumb and you should let her know that as well. Sure, we all have our faults, but that doesn't mean she should pick on them. Once she knows, she should lay off the bad comments. I am glad you are her friend, its people like you that can help others see the good in life

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I am supposed to take calcium supplements for the meds I am on... But they all make me sick so I usually try and get my calcium through food. About two weeks ago I felt like I really needed more so I took calcium citrate. I took about 1-2 a day for about a week. After the first week I started feeling the symptoms and stopped... Bloating, constipation, nausea etc. It's been about 2 weeks and I still feel the same symptoms. How long and what can I do to get it out of my system and feel normal again!!

Hey,
If you are feeling those symptoms, you should see a doctor. They are the ones who most likely gave you the medicine and they know best. If you stop taking them and eat some foods with calcium for a few days or so you should feel normal again. It will go out of your system naturally, but please, see a doctor since the pills make you feel sick. He/she can give you a different brand of that supplement if needed and/or a better solution to the problem

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13/f
how do you tell a guy that you like him??

Hey there,
There are several ways in which you can tell a guy you like him. For starters, you could walk up and say "I was just thinking about you". Or flirt with him. There are a ton of ways to do this. When he is looking at you: run your fingers through your hair, wink at him, touch his arm/leg/shoulder (guys love touch), slip a note into his pocket with your number or a little note (such as "if you would like to know me, just send a signal"), talk in a cute voice to him, compliment him, always smile, and be completely yourself. Believe me, he will get the hint if you do one or more of these things ;)

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16/f
After a year or so of not seeing him,I made up with my ex boyfriend.We had some problems,so after 8 months of us being in a relationship we broke up and I was really hurt.Though I couldn't stop loving him no matter how hard I tried.I dated a lot of other guys after our break up but I just kept realizing I still love him.He didn't date anyone on the other hand because he really missed me,he says.My feelings for him are even stronger now,I love him even more but lately I noticed I get really turned on when I think of him and I started wanting to sleep with him.Is it normal for me to feel that and should I trust him? I love him and I want to believe he's changed,but idk what to do...

Hey,
It is completely normal for you to feel this way. Should you trust him? I believe if he loves you and is honest with you on a regular basis, he is most definately trustworthy. Do not jump to conclusions if he does seem a little off, for he could just be having a bad day or have a lot going through his mind at the moment. If you feel he is honest, most likely he is. Only you would really know if he has changed, for you have known him for a long time and know him on a more personal level.

Talk to him, let him know how you feel, and do not hold back. It will allow you to become closer to one another and separate the facts from fiction.

Your inner self will let you know if something is wrong... or completely right ;) Keep close what you know is right

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My boyfriend and i have been dating for about 3 weeks now. We are both almost 14. He is shy alot of the time. How can i help him not to be shy? Also sometimes we run out of things to talk about. Well kinda but you girls know how it is. :) Can you help me with things to talk about? also how can i make him laugh? He told my friends and his he realy likes me and i really like him but i want him to really like me more if you know what im saying. Help please!! ASAP!!! :)))

Thanks

Hey,
Help him not be so shy by talking to him lots, being completely yourself around him, and by making him laugh. When you run out of things to talk about, play a game like 'have you ever ____?' or 'have you ever thought ______?' and fill in the blanks (these games could last a very long time), play truth or dare, or say something random. Make him laugh by finding out what makes him laugh (every guy is different) and then using it to your advantage :) When you smile, he will smile and when you laugh, he is more likely to laugh.

When you are being your loving, friendly, cheerful self, that will always make a guy love you more

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Ok i have a sister. And she went out with this bot, lets call him max, well after about 2 weeks he broke up with her. then he asked her out 2 days l8r and she said yes. well a week l8r he broke up with her agian. Ever since they first started to go out shes been acting different but then whhen he broke up with her for the final time she was like changed i don't kno how to explain it but she just acted really different. she flirted with every guy in sight. And i'm just reallly tired of it. But every time i try to talk to her about it she always denies everything. Like our best friend (let's call her mary) Mary, me and her talk all the time and she agrees with me. And just 2 days ago me and my sister got in this HUGE fight. And i just have no idea what to do. Please help
(Sorry it's so long)

Hey there,

The reason why she was acting different is probably because when a girl is with a guy, they tend to change themselves so that either: the guy will like them or they are flattered and under what I call a "love spell" where they do not have any realization of how they are really acting. After the final time he broke up with her, it sounds like she felt the need to have somebody want her. Flirting with every guy shows that she is dependant on guys now, she doesn't realize she can be independant, and maybe she doesn't have anyone else (besides a guy) who is special in her life (even though it may seem that she does). Denial is a way of showing that she does not realize what she is doing.

If I were you, I would find small proofs that she is reliant on boys, then whatever you do, do not shove it in her face. Casually mention that 'hey didn't you ask ___max____ to ______?' and eventually it will kick in her brain that she may flirt alot. It won't happen within a day and maybe not a week, but it will kick in eventually. Remember to not make it sound as if you are nagging her. Casually mention.

If she starts to argue or get defensive, say sorry. And if she says something mean after you say sorry, then don't say anything. If you do this, the last thing she knows is that you are sorry and that she has nothing to argue back. It takes willpower, but you can do it. Eventually, she will understand you are trying to help. Then, she will even trust your advice if you mention that a guy is not the right one for her.

Patience is key, do not rush her into becoming herself again. Only she can truly do that (with your help)

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My email is jihan.ali@europe.com please respond there.

Hello. I have a very difficult situation and want to remain anonymous please.

I am a 22 year old very devoted Muslim (my father was American Indian and my mother Jordanian). I am married with 2 beautiful girls and a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often.
I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age.
This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice.
My parents sent me and my brothers and sisters to a Quran boarding school for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little. I learned a lot.
You see I lost my father when I was young (8 years) and the man who headed and taught the school and his wife where very helpful in helping me heal in ways no one ever did!! I loved my father, he was the greatest man I ever knew. But this teacher that trained me had sexual relations with me since I was a little girl in that school. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well. But sadly I had to have two abortions before I was 17 years old. He was the only one I was ever with other than my husband. His wife was the one who took me to get these procedures to save my family and myself the shame. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. But this is a shameful thing in my past I never told anyone about. The strange thing is that it has not bothered me or haunted me like I hear on Oprah and others who had these experiences. I do not have ill feelings toward this man and his wife. They are people I still respect because of how ethical and kind they have treated my family through out the years. They paid for all my education and my brothers and sisters as well. They provided meals for us when my mother did not have enough, etc. But the physical relations thing is all in my past--until now.

My girls are now in Jordan with my family and they are sending them to the same school to learn the Quran. The same man is still teaching there. I asked around if anyone else had my experience and no one would talk about it. It is a very shameful thing for a Muslim Arab girl to talk about these things!! But my aunt, who is about my age, opened up to me and told me she had similar experiences with this man. She is also married now with five children and wants to leave the past in the past. She begged me not to tell anyone about him and to just leave things as they are since we both went through it and we turned out “OK”. He is still teaching now.
It would be devastating to our family to bring this news out about what he did with me and the other countless girls ?. I would never bring that kind of shame on him, my family or my religion. But I don’t know what to do because now my girls are in that same school. They are young I am concerned that the same thing may be happening to them that happened to me. One of my girls, the oldest is doing things to her body that he told me to do. She does not want to talk about it. She is the same as I was when I was her age. I think the same thing may be happening to her.
I really want them to learn from this very good school, but I don’t know what to do!! Please advise me.
Anonymous

Hey,
I sent you an email before, I hope you got it

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I got your email from adviceanators...



Hello. I have a very difficult situation and want to remain anonymous please.

I am a 22 year old very devoted Muslim (my father was American Indian and my mother Jordanian). I am married with 2 beautiful girls and a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often.
I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age.
This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice.
My parents sent me and my brothers and sisters to a Quran boarding school for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little. I learned a lot.
You see I lost my father when I was young (8 years) and the man who headed and taught the school and his wife where very helpful in helping me heal in ways no one ever did!! I loved my father, he was the greatest man I ever knew. But this teacher that trained me had sexual relations with me since I was a little girl in that school. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well. But sadly I had to have two abortions before I was 17 years old. He was the only one I was ever with other than my husband. His wife was the one who took me to get these procedures to save my family and myself the shame. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. But this is a shameful thing in my past I never told anyone about. The strange thing is that it has not bothered me or haunted me like I hear on Oprah and others who had these experiences. I do not have ill feelings toward this man and his wife. They are people I still respect because of how ethical and kind they have treated my family through out the years. They paid for all my education and my brothers and sisters as well. They provided meals for us when my mother did not have enough, etc. But the physical relations thing is all in my past--until now.

My girls are now in Jordan with my family and they are sending them to the same school to learn the Quran. The same man is still teaching there. I asked around if anyone else had my experience and no one would talk about it. It is a very shameful thing for a Muslim Arab girl to talk about these things!! But my aunt, who is about my age, opened up to me and told me she had similar experiences with this man. She is also married now with five children and wants to leave the past in the past. She begged me not to tell anyone about him and to just leave things as they are since we both went through it and we turned out “OK”. He is still teaching now.
It would be devastating to our family to bring this news out about what he did with me and the other countless girls ?. I would never bring that kind of shame on him, my family or my religion. But I don’t know what to do because now my girls are in that same school. They are young I am concerned that the same thing may be happening to them that happened to me. One of my girls, the oldest is doing things to her body that he told me to do. She does not want to talk about it. She is the same as I was when I was her age. I think the same thing may be happening to her.
I really want them to learn from this very good school, but I don’t know what to do!! Please advise me.
Anonymous

Hey,
I sent you an email. I hope you get it

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13/f
Hey, I really like this guy. But I'm 13 and he's 16. But I've liked him since the beginning of last year. Were both in Band. And we both have really good taste in music. But he has a girl friend. And I really want him. He's sweet, he plays the piano, he can sing, he's funny, and he's got great hair. It's not fair. He's like the perfect guy. And I can't have him. But I'm also very shy around guys. Is there anything I can do?????? Please help me


Hey,
It is good that you have common interests, such as music. But.. if he has a girlfriend, then you shouldn't try to take him from her. Just become good friends and maybe in time he will lose interest in her, then you could have a try. The only way you are going to break out of your shyness is to get out there and talk to guys. I know it sounds hard, but practice does make perfect! :) Once you talk to a few guys you will find that it isn't so bad. To start, you could comment on their clothing and then make casual conversation. One day you will find someone who you can relate to way more than this one guy. Believe me, there will be a ton of guys you will find amazing and you cannot have them all :p Age isn't necessarily a problem, but it is all up to the guy to decide whether he thinks you are too young for him or not. Usually around three years difference is plenty.

Be yourself, become real good friends with him, and be patient. One day, your real meant-to-be guy will come.. and when he does, you will know ;) and you better be wearing your smile!

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ok heres the deal. im friends with this guy. Hes such a try hard gangster its kinda funny. im not at all physcially attracted to him although he has an okay personality.
One of my mates today said she thought he liked me. So she asked him straight out would you go out with her! and i was standing right next to him :S he said yeah and admitted he kinda had a thing for me. i was like "AKWARD i getta go to class cya" lol. but now that i think about it i think i should give him a go but im not that sure. and i may still have feelings for my ex.
what should i do?

Hey,
You never truly know if you like a guy unless you give it a shot. If he has a good personality, then thats a start. Yeah, it can be awkward to have someone ask him right in front of you, but least now you know how he feels. I think you should give it a try. You could hang out with him on a more personal level first if you want to, such as watching a movie at his place, going out for an ice cream, or just talking alone. When I say personal, I don't mean a kissing level, just a real close friendship level first.

Tell him you may like to date him, but you still have feelings for your ex so you don't want to rush into anything. I am sure he will understand. You will find relief from knowing that he is on the same page as you.

Trust your heart, be yourself, and do not be afraid to try something new :) The new can result in wonderful things you never would of expirienced if you had never gave it a try

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I like this kid and I feel like he likes me but I've never had a boyfriend so I could be wrong. When I walked in the cafeteria the first few weeks of the second quarter he looked at me until I walked to my table which was behind him, so I would break the stare. I feel like he looks at me a lot when he sees me. My friend and I stay after to work on a project for a class we have together and he would come into the library and she said he was looking at me the whole time but I don't know if he was or not because he was clear across the Library. He's supposedly a very outgoing guy, he has a lot of friends that are girls. Do you think he's kinda liking me or at least thinking I'm attractive? If you think so why won't he talk to me if he's so outgoing? Thanks!

Hey,
I think there is a good chance he might like you :) Him staring is a sign that he wants to say hi, but is probably too shy to do so. If he is an outgoing guy, he is probably to nervous to talk to such a cute girl. Guys may seem macho, but when they see a girl they like they tend to break down and be the complete opposite. The reason why he can talk to a bunch of other girls just fine is because he only sees them as friends, but acting different around you is definately a sign he may be into you; guys act strange around girls they like.

I would say he wants you to make the first move to know if you notice him too. It doesn't have to be big, just a casual hi with a smile and you will be sure to start a spark. It sounds as if he needs a little boost to start his outgoing-ness with you... so be yourself, smile, and see if the sparks there!

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im 13 and my period has not started yet but i have been having alot of discharge in the last month or so... today i had some discharge and over it there was a brownish color spot. im not sure if it was blood that had been dried or what. i had a couple cramps 2 day but i have a cold so im not sure. also, the spot was about a penny or a dime sized if that helps...!!! i need your advice ASAP!! thanks :)

Also: what else could this be? my mom started hers at 12 years old or so and ill be 14 in october but she was just barely 12 so....???

Hi,
I would say its your period. When you first start having your period it is usually a brownish color.
It will stay like that for a few more periods to begin with and then it will eventually turn red, no worries.

You can have discharge before and after your period; cramps can come along with it. The amount of discharge you have all depends on whos body it is.

As with your age, it does not matter. A girl could start her period at almost any age. Therefore, it is completely normal. By the sounds of it, yours just came a little later than your moms.

If you don't feel comfortable, ask your mom if she could buy you supplies (pads or tampons). She will understand because shes been through it before. Personally, I would recommend tampons, for you can change them easily and you can barely feel them at all. It is all up to you.

I hope this helps you!

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hi im turing 16 in august im female and i have had this bestfriend sience second grade and now im in tenth and well we havent seen or talked to eachother since fifth grade i never forgot him i looked him up on myspace and we started talking again and now my feelings for him are comming back i told him i still like him he dont believe me. he said b4 i told him he has no time for a gf or a love life. i wanna ask him out and tell him how i feel but im scared to lose him as a friend im so confused can you help me?

Hey there,
Talk to him when you two get a chance to be alone. Tell him that you would like to be more than just friends and that you would appreciate it if he could think about it at least, for you mean it when you say you love him. Then, give him some time to think. He needs to sort things out in his head before he decides anything. I believe he will understand if you tell him calmly how you feel, that it would be alright if he thought about it, and then tell him how much you appreciate the friendship you already have with him.

I feel that this guy would rather spend some quality time with you for a while, become emotionally closer to you, and then he will feel confident as being your boyfriend. Tell him no matter what you will always make some time for him, that way he knows you will always be there. Build the relationship a bit more, let him know in person how you truely feel (convince him), then have some patience.

He will love you no matter what. All he needs to decide fate, is a little time (alone and with you), once he knows all the facts

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I have a really bad dry scalp and I have tried so many different types of Shampoo's and Conditioner's

are there any at home remedies, that i could use or any moisturizers that would work, but here is the catch 22 My hair gets greasy really easily so I don't know of any product to fix this problem

any ideas?

thanks


Hi, Try reading this site for your scalp: http://community.livejournal.com/beauty101/6004000.html
It has a ton of pointers.

As for the greasy part, try rubbing some baby powder or cornstarch in the roots of your hair after treating your scalp, then just shake it out. It is really simple and the best part is that you do not have to wash it out! Simply shake it out, it will soak up the greasy-ness.

OR you could try an alcohol/isopropyl based astringent on your roots, a little goes a long way. Whatever you do, do not brush it more than necessary, for it stimulates the oil glands and creates more oil.

I hope this works for you :)

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So I just got my period and I don't mean this month I mean for the first time ever and I am worried that something is wrong with me the blood isn't really red it's more of a brown color. Should I be worried about this? If not then what do brown periods mean? Sorry if I sound stupid but this is all kind of new to me, my mom ran away with another man so I can't ask her and I am really too embarrassed to ask my dad. Thanks.

Hey there,
No worries, a brown period is completely normal. It usually happens when your body is first adjusting to having periods. Even later, no matter how long you have had your period you could still have a 'brown' period for the first few days of the length of your period. It all depends on the person whether or not the first few days will be 'brown' or 'red' in the future. Brown periods are basically the same as red. It just means that your body is starting to release the blood,nutrients, and essentials your body needed to make a baby; just not at this time.

There is never a stupid question, just curiosity :)

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hi everybody!

So I guess you know the story, there is this boy and I like him. My problem is that I don't just want to come right out and say "hey I like you" so what do I do?

What I really need to know is how to give a guy signals that you like him?

Can anybody help me with this? If you can I would be truly grateful.

Thank you!

Hey there,
To let a guy to know you like him, talk to him, get to know him, find things you have in common, then flirt. Wink at him from a distance, tell jokes that will make him laugh, touch his shoulder, when sitting by him touch his hand, smile at him, hold eye contact, blow little kisses at him cute-like, if he is sitting on a bench; walk up and sit on his lap, send him a letter saying 'I like when you ______' and slip it into his pocket, talk romantic to him, be playful, and have fun! :)

Do something you know he will love and that you are comfortable doing. If there is one thing a guy loves, it is when you are being yourself and have total confidence ;)

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Me and my bestfriend get in fights over the most stupid things! At first I think she's joking, but then I can see she's not! I really love her as my friend, but the fights make MY life worse! What should I do?

Hey,
I would tell her sorry right after you had a fight. That is always the best way to start.
Try not to say anything that you might know will make her a little upset, just be yourself and try to figure out what is making her upset.

Talk to her, tell her you would really like the fights to stop, then find a way so that both of you can agree to make things better so you two do not fight. If both sides are able to cooperate, you will easily be able to solve the issue. Tell her calmly that you love her as a friend, you want to be there for her, and that it is silly to fight over little things; you just want to get along like you used to.

If she is your best friend, I am sure a heart to heart talk will help and you will both be on the same level again. Tell her you are sorry, you didn't mean to offend her, and you would like the fights to stop.

Anyone can hear you, a true friend will listen

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Okay..so...there's this guy I like. A lot. And I'm more comfortable around him than any other guy I've ever liked. I haven't dated ever, but I want to date him. But I don't think he likes me in the way I like him. So I got two questions:
How do I figure out if he likes me without asking??
How do I let him know I like him without telling him??

Hi there,
To find out if he likes you without asking, you just have to get to know him better. What I mean is, on a more personal level.

See how he reacts around you. When you talk to him does he smile/grin at you? When you look at him, does he hold eye contact with you? Does he tend to talk to you in a different tone than anybody else? Do you ever catch him looking at you? Does he touch your shoulder or hair? Any of these things could mean he likes you. It will be the simple things that he does, only when around you that will tell you how he truly feels.

To let a guy know you like him, you have to flirt a little. Stare at him then hold eye contact when he looks at you, ask him to be your partner for a project, always smile around him, touch his arm or shoulder, send him a cute note, get to know him by communicating lots and just be yourself. Also, nothing lets a guy know you love him like finding things you have in common and finding ways to do them together.

Do not be afraid to get to know a guy, you can do anything. Guys always love a girl with three things: support for the guy, A great personality, and the courage to be themselves no matter what

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