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Q: I certainly feel as if I have run out of options. I don’t know the people I live with anymore. I am frustrated day by day in my own home. Yesterday, my mother tells me that I’ve been so apathetic lately, that it seems like I don’t care. She says, “You’re not happy.” Maybe, because of a lot of things that has happened lately, I can’t say I’m 100% happy. But, I’m not sad either. I just feel like I’ve lost control and I don’t know how to feel. If I get happy about something, somebody always finds a way to do or say something that tries to take away my happiness. If I’m sad, they just tell me I’m ungrateful and whining for no reason. I can’t ever do anything right.
I know that some of you have read my posts 1000 times. If you have read them and are tired of reading them, and cannot offer me any help other than criticism, please refrain from doing so, because I get enough of that. If you haven’t helped me, or have anything else to say, you are welcome to write here.
I was a pretty happy child growing up. I had a great relationship with my family. I didn’t live with my dad because my parents are divorced. But, I still had a good relationship with him, for the most part. He cared about my life. My mom was a little suffocating since I was her only thing in the world. But, other than that, she was like my best friend. I would tell her everything and she always seemed to be there for me.
When I first started college, I found out that I was adopted. A few months ago, my cousin, who was also like my brother, who was my closest friend, passed away from cancer. After that, my mom thinks it’s ok to act abusive. She claims that it’s because after he died, she’s never been the same and that she’s been through a lot in her life. But, it’s no excuse to be abusive. It’s almost like she’s going crazy. She starts screaming and throwing tantrums. She’s always telling me that I’m not good enough. Recently, I went on a trip with my boyfriend and we missed our transportation to get back (it was a bus, not a plane), and they were giving us credit to come back the next day. She told me beforehand “don’t you dare call me if you miss that bus!” So, I called my dad when I got stuck because I was scared, frightened, and nervous. I was also full of water park water and I longed to take a shower. I got bitten by ant, which I’m severely allergic to, and for a while, lost my eyesight and my tongue fell asleep. I also had a battery that was dying, so the only person I could think of calling was my dad. Because of this, my mom didn’t speak to me for days. Only when she was throwing things. My aunt came to me and grabbed me by the wrist, pulling my hair, and saying that I had to apologize to my mom for calling my dad. And my mom screaming: “you have no right to call your father.” Not only do I have a right to call my father, but I’m 21 years old, and I’ll do as I please. What my aunt did was assault.
I told my mom that I was going to move and she started to go crazy, threw herself on the floor and started pulling her hair and screaming “NO! NO! NO!” Then, she told me I couldn’t leave the house till I was married. Then, my grandmother promised me that once I graduate, she and my grandpa will buy me an apartment, which is in December. I just don’t believe anything they tell me anymore.
I use to want to be a psychology major since I was in the fourth grade. But, because of the problems I’ve had at home, I’ve never been able to study at home. It’s a vicious cycle. So, I didn’t do well on some pre-recs (mainly math and science). So, I decided to go for sociology because it seemed similar but a little easier. But, I feel like a failure. I really do. I feel like a failure to my family and to myself. I just want to graduate because I don’t want to be in this school anymore. I could always pursue another degree in psychology elsewhere. This school is getting too big and I just don’t want to be there anymore. There are plenty of university’s in my area. I really feel depressed because it’s too much to handle. I’ve been a good daughter, and don’t even question it for a moment. I’ve never done drugs, never come home drunk, get good grades, work, do a lot for school. In my spare time, I read the bible and go to church. Yet, she treats me like a criminal. I’m tired and I feel hopeless. She just lost her job. I thought that now, working, I’d finally be able to afford things for myself. But, now, she lost her job and asked me “will you help me with finances?” She uses my card for things and I see myself overdrawn sometimes, and I don’t know why.
I’m just tired. I feel helpless.
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First off all, your mom cannot prevent you from moving. At 21 you are of age, which means like you said, you can do as you please. Judging from your situation living in a different place than the woman that is abusing you, seems like your best bet. If you are worried about how you will afford an apartment, try to get a few roommates to help you out; in her last year of college, my cousin rented a big house with a few other girls, that is just a suggestion.
Also, if you cannot afford an apartment, is there a way that you could move in with your father? Or that you could inform him about what's going on at home, and have him help you with rent and you'll pay him back after college? I have no idea what your father's financial situation is like.
If your mom is still really adamant about you staying in her house, give her the ultimatum by informing her about how much stress she is causing you by being abusive and that either she finds a way to resolve this, by going to counseling, or you are going to move out of the house. Everyone goes through a rough time but that is no reason for your mom to treat you the way that she currently is treating you.
I hope that I was able to help!
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Q: So my boyfriend and i had a heated moment and he slipped his hand down my panties and fingered me. I returned him the favour by giving him a hand job. Since we were both so heated, both of us ejaculated and I had some semen on my fingers. I didn't wash my hands and later I fingered myself because I am curious and i was testing what makes me feel good. We don't want kids yet but my period hasn't come yet and it's been a few days. Is there a possibility that I'm pregnant because I didn't wash my hands?
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After reading your question, coming from someone who has had several pregnancy scares over worse things, I think that you are panicking over nothing. Yes, when semen gets into your body you can always get pregnant, but there's also a very slim possibility that you actually are - women usually get pregnant through vaginal intercourse. Oral sex does not usually make you pregnant, vaginal sex is that culprit. If you are really that worried about being pregnant take a pregnancy test, I am not sure what the rules are, having never been pregnant but I do not think that you have anything to worry about.
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Q: Hi, Im 19 and so is my boyfriend. I was pregnant and was having a tubal pregnancy so they removed it this Sunday. Before my pregnancy we weren't together but once i got pregnant with him he came back. I told him the only reason he got back with me was because of the baby. he keeps telling me thats a lie. well anyways yesterday i told him to go to my house. He couldn't because he was at a party, so he told me he would come the day after. so I called him today and he was sleeping almost the whole day. I go on Facebook and i see hes at the movie theater with his friends and a girl that's likes him a lot. im so dissapointed. After I told him to meet me at my place he does something else. I keep texting him but no reply because hew in the movie theaters. I have a bad feeling specially with this girl at the movies. i don't know what to do anymore. I feel like im the only one fighting to keep the relationship going. What should I tell him or do? please help me out . Sorry this is long :(
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If I were you I would break up with him, I know it is hard because I am sure that the two of you have been through a lot together. However you do not seem happy with the current state of your relationship, and whether or not your boyfriend is back together with you because of the pregnancy, or is with you because he really cares about you; the truth is you no longer feel comfortable in this relationship, and you need to find a relationship that you are secure in. Rule of thumb for me, NEVER get back with an ex boyfriend because the two of you broke up for a reason.
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Q: 14/f alot of stuff has happened in my life and so i never got a chance to really date in middle school. because alot of family issues and shit took me away from social life there was only one guy i liked and we were just really good friends and i think he liked me too. but we dont talk really anymore, though i want to change that hopefully. im going to date this year but idk i was just thinking like some people think 18 is old. but like anyone can say that im a really fun and all that, so im definitly not uptight about alot of stuff and i would not mind or care if i lost my virginity to my bf but my only thing is that i would do it when i want to with him and when im ready but i would be in a serious relationship though. but my sister is 18 and shes never really had a serious boyfriend, guys ask her out and shit but she turns them down becasue she doesnt want to waste her time on someone if shes not attracted to them or most of them were dbags good looking or not, thats mostly what happened with me. guys were never a priority to me or her but for her it was like all her life she basically was like if it happens it happens. and my sister is very like she dresses stylish but classy like she doesnt wear low cut stuff, me i dress nice too but if i go out with my friends i like to wear tight clothes sometimes, not slutty becasue i like my body plus me and her have different body types. shes short but very lean not a lot of muscle, skinny she doesnt do sports, and not really curvy. but im short and really curvy and skinny, and i do sports so im sure if she had my bod she would dress the same. anyway if you were to wait until 17/18 or even 19 to have sex with your boyfriend that you've been dating for a year or two is that like old? i know people are gonna say whenever your ready but really is that old? even if you guys say it is it doesnt mean im gonna lose my virginity to some dude when im 15/16 so idc just say what you want. thanks
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I am 21 years old and have had three sexual relationships in the past, including the one that I am in now, since I lost my virginity at 18 almost 19 years old. I think that most people are around that age when they lose their virginity, and it is a good age – in fact, I personally wish that I had waited longer; however at the time, I felt like I was really old to be a virgin. Most of the guys that I have had sex with, aside from my current boyfriend who lost his when he was 17 years old, became sexually active in their twenties.
I personally think that you should be out of high school, have been employed, and have shared other adult life experiences before you decide to have sex. I also think that it should be with someone that you care about, have been with for awhile, and are serious about. WAY too many teenagers give into pressure because they feel like they are too old to not be having sex, since all it seems like ALL of their friends are doing it (some are, and some aren't).
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Q: My ex and I have been separated from since the beginning of the year. I am slowly staring to get over him and I am so proud of myself for making progess. Anyway, lately I can't help but re-read our old conversations (I saved some for memories, I tend to do this with guys I've really liked, I have some saved on my computer, e-mail, tumblr, etc), I even re-read the questions I posted on here about help I needed with him. I just want to reminisce on what we've had and establish that all of it is down the drain but realize that I did learn something. It hurts to read it sometimes though because I just can't help but miss him...Well im not sure if i miss him but i miss being happy knowing that I had someone and someone had me. But from what I've read, we seem to have had problems all the time. From reading everything I see now that the main thing we lacked in our relationship was communication. He was my first boyfriend so I had to learn everything through him, but I wasn't his first...but his longest. But I feel that I have learned A LOT over the past few years from when the cycle of relationships and boyfriends started. He's moved on to another girl now, they're just friends but I know he;s trying to take it slow with her to make sure it lasts... He's trying to do everything better than what he did with me, which is smart in his case, even though I can't help but feel cheated somewhat. (Our relationship was a little rocky from the start) I have realized we can't and won't be together, and I'm okay with that. I do admit that I am a bit lonely and I miss having someone to care for and to care for me in a special way. But why do I keep reading these things about him? I've had another ex but I don't read anything about him.. well there's not much about him that I saved but I dont even find him worth thinking about (that relationship only lasted a month and I gained nothing out of it, just lost a friend..) But yeah, should I be doing this? Is this my way of my healing process? Do you think I'm still trying to hold onto him?
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It's possible that you are subconsciously trying to hold onto him, that you miss him. I'm going to give you the same advice that someone gave me, get rid of those conversations. When you look at those conversations old memories start to spark and you start to get really hurt.
About finding someone to care about you, you eventually will. You are probably young considering that you have only had two boyfriends, and only really one that lasted long. I would suggest that you take this time to enjoy being single and if you want maybe go out on a few dates, if possible. Sooner or later, you will get stronger and like I said you will meet someone who will make you happy.
For now, delete those old conversations between the two of you and learn from your past mistakes. Learn that when you get into another relationship, you should work on building your communication skills - the strongest relationships are built on communication.
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Q: 16 Female. Size: 34 D
I hate my boobs they are so saggy and i am so embarrassed. I can never show my boobs to a guy because i am so embarrassed about them. I want to get a breast lift and a boob job or something but i know i can't do that anytime soon:(
I exercise often and have been running for a long time off and on but i ware two or three sports bras and a bra to try to keep them from moving as much as possible when i run, because i herd that running makes your boobs sag? So thats why i put on that many sports bras cause i don't want them to sag even more. idk i just hate my boobs and i want to fix them :(
Do you have any advice on workouts the lift your breasts and make them perky?
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I think that your breast issue is really something that is in your head. Any guy who gets to see your boobs will feel like he's lucky, especially with how high-wired the male brain is for sex. I am a B cup when I was your age, I wanted to have bigger boobs because I felt like that was what teenaged boys liked.
You have two choices to make yourself feel better, either you can learn to love your body. A lot of teenaged girls have self esteem issues, I used to and I still do sometimes now that I'm in my twenties. An article like this one can offer you great advice on how to love your body:
http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2009/03/16-ways-i-learned-to-love-my-body#slide=1
Exercising could possibly help you as well, if you feel that you must exercise in order to make you feel better about your body. Understand that not every exercise routine will give you the look that you want.
http://geniusbeauty.com/about-sport-activities/how-to-make-breasts-beautiful-with-exercises/
Basically my best advice is learn to love your body, including your boobs. Having self confidence will help you out in life, trust me.
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Q: I'm 13/f and I've had my boyfriend 16/m for about 2 years. Yes, I know he is really old for me. Recently he asked if he could come over to my house so I let him in when my parents were out at night. We started making out but then he tried to strip me! I said that I wasn't ready and made him go. Now I feel like he is slipping away. He's flirting with other girls. I don't know if I should have sex with him or not. I'm worried about stupid things like what if the condom breaks, or he goes too hard, or what if I'm no good? But the one thing that haunts me the most is what if my parents found out? Should I do it?
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Reading this question sparked a lot of thoughts from me, these include:
First of all, you are really, really young to be thinking about having sex. I don't think that a thirteen year old girl is emotionally or mentally ready to have sex. In order to figure out if you are ready or not, which I don't think you are these are questions that you need to ask yourself: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-to-Talk-to-Teenagers-About-Sex/8
Second of all, a lot of people lose their virginity and regret it, it's very precious and once you lose it - it's gone for good. You should not be having sex because you are being pressured by someone.
Third of all, a man who pressures a woman into doing something, at any age, really isn't worth the time of day.
I know that you have dated him for three years and you feel a lot of emotion towards him... but I think that the fact that he is pressuring you into having sex when he knows that you're not ready, really means that he's not good enough for you.
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Q: So my boyfriend and I broke up several months ago. Once we broke up, I kinda went on a rampage of having sex and I picked up herpes from a horrible person who denies having anything. Well, me and my ex are seeing each other once again and about a month ago, we had sex at a party (once drunk & once in the morning, sober).
We've continued to see each other and last night, he entered me a couple times, but I stopped him. This morning, I went to kiss him and he jokingly said that I might have an STD and if I do have one, that I would have to tell him.
I don't know if he knows or what, but I'm afraid that he won't want to be with me anymore when I do tell him.
Advice on how to break the news to him?
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I think that you should tell him, because he has a right to know. If the two of you are meant to be and he's worth your time, he'll understand. If he catches herpes from you, you are no better than the "horrible" person who gave you the disease.
I want to ask you if you have seen a doctor, since one might be able to prescribe the medication needed for you to safely have sex with your boyfriend.
You should read this advice column, since you were just recently diagnosed. I am not sure if you know how to have sex safely with your boyfriend, in order to prevent him from having herpes: http://www.mdrutherford.com/articles/article_safe-sex-with-herpes.php
I hope that I was able to help!
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Q: Me and my 'ex boyfriend' broke up a few days ago. We're both fine with it but I still love him. Over the summer he's moving to Georgia and I wont see him so is it better that we broke up now? Or should we have waited? And he's mad at me cause my friends are always around..what do I do? Tell them we he's around not to come by me? I'm just so confused...
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I think that it's a good idea that the two of you broke up, Zane's right long-distance relationships are hard and very rarely work out.
The best thing that the two of you can do is to stop contacting each other. You mention how he has a problem that your friends are always around you, so I assume that you are still talking to him. I know that it's hard right now but the two of you are not together anymore, and depending on how long the two of you were together for you still have feelings for each other.
I also find it easier when I meet someone that you are interested in, to get over the person. I am not telling you to randomly fall into a relationship but start talking to other guys, and keep your options until you meet someone that you feel is special enough to get into a relationship with.
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Q:
A lot of the time when socialising with people I don't know i can't make eye contact, i start shaking and i stutter when i speak. I'm really scared of what people will be thinking, and what they will think if they notice i'm nervous, i'm fine around family members i live with and the ones I know, but everybody else i'm really nervous around, it's not a phobia of going outside, it's just socialising.. I have family members that I'm not that close to that think I don't like them or I'm weird or something cause I dont say Hi to them. I have an uncle that asks my dad why I don't say Hi to him. I always get nervous cause I really don't know him and I am weird around people that aren't close to me. I want to have a normal conversation with my uncle but I always get nervous. A while ago I couldn't say Hi even though I wanted to. My uncle is always asking people why can't I speak to him. I'm not trying to be rude when I don't speak to people I just get nervous about what they are thinking about me. do you think i have Social anxiety disorder? what should i do? if i don't have Social anxiety disorder.. what do i have?
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I think that these are classic symptoms of social anxiety disorder.
This link discusses what social anxiety disorder is, and available treatment options: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001953/
You are also not the only one who has been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, there are plenty of forums where you can talk to people who suffer from this disorder (and possibly get advice).: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/social-anxiety-disorder-forums/
I would also recommend that you go to therapy, in order to treat this disorder. I have no idea how old you are, but since you're not talking about work I assume that you're under the age of 18, either that or in college. Once you get into the working world you're going to have to communicate with co-workers, and you should have some idea how to battle your social anxiety disorder before you start at a job.
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Q: Im a pastor and I have been married 19years but I started an emotional relationship as well as a sexual relationship with a young lady that I have been knowing quite somtime shes younger shes a member of my church and she has bee so supportive of my ministry and I feel as if I need 2 make a decision because I would 2 be with this younglady I ask my wife was she happy and she didnt answer me me and my wife dont even have sex Im still in the marriage for my kids but the affair has been going on for a year next month I just really see this younglady not being apart of my life I depend on her so much.help me! Im a 42 yr.old male
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The easy answer would be leave your wife and continue your relationship with this woman who makes you happy. However with your situation, your career as a pastor there's a lot of gray here.
I would also that you being a family man makes this even grayer, however growing up with parents who were unhappy together I think it would have been better for everyone involved if my parents had divorced.
Psychologically I think that most of us try to mimic our parents relationships, of course there are a few exceptions. I think that my relationship with my boyfriend is one of them, but my sister has a very low expectation of relationships due to her low self esteem and of course growing up in a household where our parents didn't really have much of a happy relationship.
I think that by leaving your wife and showing your kids what a happy relationship is like would be good for them. However if you do decide to leave your wife, depending on how close your kids are to her and how young they are, I would not bring the other woman around them for at least a few months.
But you also have to wonder about your career, going into the clergy means that you have a high expectation among your parish of staying together with your wife and making everyone think that the two of you are happy by putting on a false facade.
So I would think about this as well, what's more important to you, your career or this woman?
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Q: i am a 13 year old female and i am curious of my female friends bodies. i mean i am curious about if they have pubic hair or big boobs so i peek when they are changing clothes and such. does this mean im a lesbian? because i have crushes on boys and think they are hot but sometimes feel an urge to kiss my friends if are faces are close together.does this mean i am bi or lesbian or just curious??
please no mean answers :) thanks!
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As far looking at your female friends bodies, this does not necessarily make you a lesbian. A lot of girls your age compare their friends bodies to their own to see if their normal, it's fine.
However since you mentioned wanting to kiss your female friends it definitely does sound like you're curious, however I think that you are a little young to do anything sexual now. But when you get older, I suppose that you can do it now if you want, experiment with another girl and see how you feel about it. You'll get your answer by how you feel about the situation, you may not be bi but you may be.
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Q: My boyfriend and I have been talking about sex.
He wants to please me and kiss my body, finger me, and suck on my vagina. I want to please him too. We really want to, but we don't want to go ALL the way for the fear of pregnancy. He's seen my body before and it seems to turn him on. I love him and he loves me. We are both inexperienced so we frequently ask each other what we could do to please one another if we get the chance to. Any advice on how this should happen? We please one another, give them our body, but not go all the way yet. We're really cautious about me getting pregnant right now.
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Have you heard of oral sex? Oral sex is completely risk-free, other than of course worrying about possible STDs. It may be a good idea to get tested for STDs but because of the two of you are so inexperienced, it may not matter so much. Oral sex does not make you pregnant but vaginal and/or anal sex will.
Here's a list of oral sex how-tos for women to please their men: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/oral-sex
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Q: I am trying to get back with my ex....problem is she wants to be with her ex she hasnt seen in years thats in the army in japan and not comming home anytime soon. What should i do i mean why be with someone you cant see? I am hurt and dont know what to do
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I'm sorry about this situation, unfortunately there is not much that you can do. She has made up her mind who she wants to be with, and she doesn't want to be with you.
After going through a very painful break up over a year ago, I have realized that break ups happen for a reason. Usually your ex is an ex for a reason, and there's someone else whose better.
My best advice is to move on and start talking to and get to know other girls. Go out with the guys, chat girls up that you're attracted to, and sooner or later you will find the one.
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Q: This boy i really like talks tome A LOT so how do i know he likes me we are realy good friends :D
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If he talks to you alot, he definitely likes to be in your company. I think in order to find out how he truly feels you should let him know that you like him.
I know that you're probably shy, but you really don't have anything to lose. Life is too short to not any chances.
Let me know how it went if you decide to follow my advice :).
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Q: I need serious help.. I'm so confused and lost on what to do.
Me and this guy Nick have been dating for 13 months. The most serious relationship i've ever had. well we broke up about 3 months ago. Ever since we broke up, i've been just having fun being single. I went to parties and just let loose and have fun. it was a blast. But now he's talking to me again and I think Im starting to fall back into love with him again.. I really don't know what to do. i think i do love him because he can really make me feel special and good, but at the same time I like being single and not worrying about commitment and I could just focus on myself..
Also, a lot of my friends and my parents hate him.. He said he wants to be Facebook official again.. but I'm not sure I really want all my friends to know that we might be back together (if it happens). and plus my parents would be really mad. I know that other people's opinions don't really matter, but it does mean a lot to me. I've made a ton of friends while I was single, and i've told them stories about Nick and they pretty much straight up told me that they don't like him and hated him..
soo idk what to do.. Should i follow my heart (i think) and get back with him because he can make me feel good and nice.. or should I just break it off with him completely because I do like being single and not worrying about commitment and i would feel a lot better if my friends and family didn't know about him again.
help?
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What stories have you told your friends about Nick that they didn't like? After you said that, I get the feeling that your relationship wasn't exactly healthy even if he did make you feel good some times. A guy who truly loves you, is never going to treat you like shit and if he feels like he is he's going to go out of the way to show that he still loves you and be affectionate after an argument or a fight.
I think that people break up for a reason, and once they break up unless it has something to do with commitment issues they should leave the relationship alone. My best advice is don't talk to him, enjoy being single until you find somone special who wants to treat you good and make you smile.
I hope that I was able to help, good luck!
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Q: If I'm a 13 year old male is it normal for me to Jackoff
and should I be embarassed about it?
Another thing what's the average size for Male of my age?
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Masturbation is a perfectly normal part of growing up, especially at your age when you're going through puberty. I don't think that you should be embarrassed about it, if your guy friends were being honest they would admit to masturbating.
I wasn't sure how to answer your question about penis sizes. So, I had to look that up on my own, according to my source the normal penis size for a full-grown, non-erect adult male is 3-4 inches long.
http://puberty101.com/boys/penis-size/
I hope that I was able to help you out!
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Q: What is the best way to finger a girl during sexual intercourse ?
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When you're having sex, you should ask your partner what she likes. I personally love it when my boyfriend goes really hard and fast. However different people like different things, so the best way to make sure that the girl that you're with is being pleasured is asking her how she likes being fingered.
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Q: ok i been talking to this girl and she wants to **** but i didnt so she asked if she could blow me and i let her a few days later she told me she found out she has herpes. can i get it from a bj
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The thing to remember about this question is that there are two different types of herpes viruses, including sores and genital herpes.
Herpes Simplex => http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex
Genital Herpes => http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001860/
Chances are since she mentioned that she has herpes, it is most likely genital herpes. Genital herpes is only spread through vaginal sex, so you are fine.
However if a girl gives you a blow job and she has a cold sore on her lips then you risk a chance of getting genital herpes.
I hope that I was able to help you.
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Q: Can you get pregnant if the person cums on your bottom but the sperm down the crease by the vagina?
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That depends did the sperm get inside of you? If so, in order to avoid a catastrophe like getting pregnant, you can purchase some Plan B over the counter if you are over 18. It's a pill that kills the sperm inside of you so that an egg can't be fertilized.
In the chance that you are under 18 you should tell your mother that you are sexually active and ran into a situation where you could be pregnant, she will know the best thing to do in the situation.
I know that it's probably not the best thing for you tell your mom about but it's an important thing to do. Chances are your mom went through similar situations when she was younger, before you were born.
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Info
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Member Since: December 9, 2010 Answers: 118 Last Update: July 7, 2015 Visitors: 8048
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