|
Still A Virgin, but Not For Long Because I am Afraid He Will Leave Me If I Don't Do What He Wants
I'm 13/f and I've had my boyfriend 16/m for about 2 years. Yes, I know he is really old for me. Recently he asked if he could come over to my house so I let him in when my parents were out at night. We started making out but then he tried to strip me! I said that I wasn't ready and made him go. Now I feel like he is slipping away. He's flirting with other girls. I don't know if I should have sex with him or not. I'm worried about stupid things like what if the condom breaks, or he goes too hard, or what if I'm no good? But the one thing that haunts me the most is what if my parents found out? Should I do it?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Reading this question sparked a lot of thoughts from me, these include:
First of all, you are really, really young to be thinking about having sex. I don't think that a thirteen year old girl is emotionally or mentally ready to have sex. In order to figure out if you are ready or not, which I don't think you are these are questions that you need to ask yourself: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Second of all, a lot of people lose their virginity and regret it, it's very precious and once you lose it - it's gone for good. You should not be having sex because you are being pressured by someone.
Third of all, a man who pressures a woman into doing something, at any age, really isn't worth the time of day.
I know that you have dated him for three years and you feel a lot of emotion towards him... but I think that the fact that he is pressuring you into having sex when he knows that you're not ready, really means that he's not good enough for you.
]
No, you should never have sex to save a relationship. The things you're worried about aren't stupid, first off. Second, sex is something that should be approached on an equal basis. Both parties wanting it, and being prepared for it _and_ it's possible consequences.
This in no way describes your situation. You're asking yourself what you have to do to keep him. That's a bad question to ever be asking yourself, you shouldn't have to do anything to get someone to stay with you, they should want to do that of their own accord, and if they don't you're better off without them.
He's 16. He's looking for things you flat out are not ready for. That's not anyone's fault, but that also doesn't mean that you should have sex to give him what he's looking for. That's now how relationships work.
Yes, he's really old for you. You should end it. You should tell him that he wants things that you aren't old or mature enough for, that it's not the right time in your relationship with him for, and that instead of trying to make it work he should be with someone who's looking for the same sexual relationship he apparently is.
]
The fact that your asking strangers if you should have sex with your boyfriend means that your not ready. You're only 13 so there is no need for you to rush losing your virginity. He's 16 so he's starting to become sexually active. If he leaves because you didn't have sex with him than he's not worth any of your time because it means he would have used you. You're 13, and its obvious that your not ready. If he doesn't like that then let him leave. Just enjoy your childhood.
Hope this helps xx
]
I'm not sure what is more important here the fact that your bf is to old for you or you feel you will lose him if you don't have sex with him. If you were 23 and 26 the age difference would e no big deal. At 13 and 16 it is a big deal because the difference in maturity. No matter how mature may be for your age he has 3 years more maturity then you do. You will eventually catch up with him and that is when a difference in age becomes less & less.
You two may know each other for years and dating for some of that. But if he is saying or indicating by his actions that you either have sex with him or he is gone. Then it is lust he has for you and not love. Teenage boys are hard wired to find sex when they enter puberty. Theft confuse lust for love. It is all hormonal.
Don't give up your virginity to keep a boy. First it's to precious to give away like that. Second he won't appreciate the gift you are giving him. Third you will end up just being a notch on his gun belt not someone he respects, and boys can't keep secrets. Before you know it every boy in school will know you had sex. You will become very popular, but only if you have sex with them. This is a reputation you don't want.
Think before you act, you are way to young to be having sex.
]
More Questions: |