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so there is this guy in my history class, we're all juniors, and hes obviously gay. but somehow i always find myself staring at him and trying to talk to him whenever i can. and from all of my experiences with childhood crushes and acting like a total idiot in front of guys to get them to notice me, i'm acting like i'm crushing this guy. i know nothing could ever happen because, as i said, HE'S GAY.
how do i get this disfunction to stop? i'm embarrassed to even have to ask this question, but i dreamed about him the other night and now i'm thinking i might need a little bit of advice.
i'm 17/f, by the way. thanks for any help. :) (link)
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Figure out what it is about him you like. Is it that hes cute and you're physically and emotionally attracted to him or is it that you are more attracted to his personality and quirks?
If it's the first one then your best bet is to try and focus your attention on something or someone else because the more you find yourself attracted to this guy the harder its going to be on you in the long run. And it won't be likely that you can simply be friends because you will fall for him the closer you get. If it's the second one and you are attracted because of his personality/quirks then you will be able to become friends. A gay guy is easier for a girl to relate to than other girls because you are not feeling any pressure or jealousy or competition from him. You may find that your attraction is one of admiration and it could lead to you aquiring a new best friend!
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Me-21/M Her-19/F
So I have been dating this girl for two years. We have been in an on-again-off-again relationship for the past few months. But things were looking up. I had my issues with commitment but things were turning around and in a very good way. But most relationships go that way don't they? Things get tough, but they turn around again and in this case were getting to be much better than they'd ever been. But we had an argument over something stupid. And it's not like it was something that could not be fixed or worked with. But I guess she was tired of it (and I can't blame her we had been coming out of a rough time) and so she left. Just like that she was gone. And so I've been living with an intense emptiness in me for about a week or more now. And I just want to know. How can i win her back? Or if not how can i move on?
Just a side note. I love this girl with all that I am, always have, and it's terrible going without. (link)
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It's definitely normal for things to get tough. She may have left because she felt like things would not get better or because she was not interested in putting in the work to make things better. Sometimes girls flee because they are scared. You need to identify the reason she left before you try and win her back. If she is no longer interested in trying to make it work then there is no hope except that maybe she will spend time away from you and realize she really does want to try. If she feels like things will not improve or if she is scared then she needs reassurance. Tell her how much you love her and how willing you are to work with her to make things as great as they were when you first fell in love. Do not beg or plead but calmly talk to her about things you two can do together to make it worthwhile. Talk to her about happy times you guys have had and how great it can feel to be in love and share things with someone that close to you. How wonderful it is to have someone who will love you endlessly and support you no matter what. In the end it is her choice and all you can do is explain how wonderful you feel with her. Good Luck :)
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okk look i was going out with this kid for 6 months and we got so close like we even made plans that well get married,but it got so hard to be together so we decided to take a break but not those breaks like see other people no we saw each other and kissed and said i love you like usual we acted like we were together he also got me a promise ring and diamond braclet all this stuff. but for some reason im those people who cant control them selves and always cheates on people so wat happen was i cheated on him with my friends ex i kissed my friends ex when we went out and i was scared to tell anyone so i told my friend he did it i lied to her. till the other day he went and told my bf how i kissed him and told all my freidns. after tht all my friends hate me now they wont talk to me and im dying here because ther everything to me and i need my bf bak please help me hes everything i got i cant lose him i hurt him like hell im serious he never cried ever till the day he found out im telling u i like stabed hhim in the heart whn he found out and now he wont talk to me and all my friends hate me please help me what do i do pleasee youl like save my life right here i need them bak all of them cuz now im alone
(link)
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First you need to figure out why you cheat. It could be for attention but the main reason girls repeatedly cheat on their boyfriends is because they have a need to feel loved by others because they aren't loving themselves enough. If thats the case then you will not stop your behavior until you find a way to make yourself happy without relying on anyone elses attention. You are experiencing the reprocussions of your actions and it deeply hurts. Maybe this is enough to help change your ways. If it is, go to your boyfriend and reveal the reason you feel the need to cheat and explain that now that you have identified the source you can fix it and be faithful. Let him know that it had nothing to do with not being satisfied with him but that you were trying to fill an emptiness you felt and that was the way you chose to try and fill it. Once you learn to love yourself you will not feel the need to get that love from others. You are not alone. This situation happens to MANY more girls than you would think and it is very admirable that you can admit you are one of those girls. I wish you the best in this transition as I know how hard it can be. As for your friends, they should not abandon you because you make mistakes. Explain to them why as well and if they do not respond in a supportive and positive way then you need to consider finding ones that will. Stay strong. Remember your well being is number one and a life without him is managable!
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do you always bleed when you lose your virginity? can you feel your cherry with your fingers? can you pop it that way? or does it NEED to be intercorse? (link)
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No. Not every girl will bleed upon losing their virginity. Your hymen can gradually tear from sports, exercise, gymnastics,horseback riding,time and etc. Your hymen is is a fold covering or partially covering the external part of your vagina. It can be seen and felt and is very sensitive until tearing. If your hymen is still intact it will tear with the use of tampons or intercourse. Intercourse mainly because of the larger size of the penis.
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14/f
yesterday, i went to the mall with my friends/neighbors. our families are close to the point i feel really comfortable with them. so my friend's brother, nick, is what this question is about.
well, he's seventeen and really cute. he's also really smart because he goes to this really advanced school so he's only around sometimes because he lives at the school.
anyways, it was odd because yesterday he was actually really friendly towards me. like usually he is really mean to me, like he would be to his sisters. and i will admit since the last time i saw him my looks have improved.
is this change in his behavior towards me a sign that he likes me? he sees me as a sister? or he was just being nice? (link)
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In his eyes you used to be more of a sister but now you have started to mature and you have become another pretty girl to flirt with. But hes seventeen which is a significant maturity difference so I doubt he likes you or would be in a relationship with you but definitely sees you differently than he used to. If ever he says he likes you or wants to be together you should be wary. He is thinking much different things than you are.
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I've been in a relationship with Corey for the past 3 years. We met on myspace at 1 or so in the morning. Before I met him, I sat in my room very depressed, so depressed, that I prayed for at least an hour or longer to God and even was desperate enough to wish on a star... stupid, right? I don't know whether the person reading this believes in God or wishing on stars, but not a month passed when I met Corey. We just barely got our internet up and running for the first time since I was 14, and my sister and I got our first myspace pages up and running. When Corey and I first met online, Corey asked for my number, and we started from there. There was a huge connection right from the start, but there was a downside.... he lived 3 hours away from me, so this was a long distance relationship. It was tough at first, but I got used to the distance, and we saw each other every 2-3 months and we stayed at each others houses for 1 week to a month at a time. The very, very first night we met was so passionate, and I felt completely loved and adored by him. He was such a gentleman! Sadly, this was the best night of my life... We've never had a day or night like this or even passionate or romantic like this... But now, everything has changed... What seemed to be a fairy tale come true was now becoming depressing and even nightmarish at times... so now Corey and I are hanging by a thread. I love him, but I don't think I'm "in love" with him anymore. I feel like he's cheating on me. I've seen his AOL instant messenger before, but when I look a year or two later (in his contacts in his mailbox) he has all sorts of girls names... ones I won't be able to post here because the names are pretty disgusting... but the names were pretty straight forward, like you could tell it was a girl, and that that specific girl was skanky or whatever you want to call a girl like that. There was a whole bunch of contacts like this there... at least four or five at least. His excuse was that he has had that AOL account since he was 15 or so (he was 19 then so that was way before he met me [if he's telling the truth]). I feel like he lies to me all the time, I can't be myself around him.. like this time I was being goofy and he gave me this face that looked as if he thought I was stupid or something. He has a cruel sense of humor and makes fun of me a lot, like he calls me Pinocchio (my nose is kinda big) and he's even made comments about me being heavy. My sister thinks that he is emotionally abusive and he tells me things like I can't drink on my 21st birthday (which is coming up), can't get a tattoo and my sister thinks that if I wind up marrying him, that he wouldn't let me do anything. He'd control my life, and would probably wind up hitting me or something. Every time I try to talk to him about what has been hurting me or bugging me, he always turns it into a fight and makes it my fault. Like for example, I got mad because he could talk to everyone else it seemed, besides me. He could easily open up to a stranger, or a friend, but never to me. So I got really upset and started asking him why he can't talk to me, he never sees me but doesn't care if he talks to me at all. He will only stay on the phone for a couple of minutes before letting me go, and if on a rare occasion, he will talk to me, we sit there in silence... if I complain about him not talking, he'll ask me "Why do you do this? You act like you're perfect and you don't do anything wrong, you can talk!" but I've tried telling him that I don't talk because every time I try talking to him, he doesn't listen to anything I have to say. I've even tried talking to him about something he's interested in, and it still doesn't work... There's always something he has to do, and he never seems to have enough time for me. Constantly busy. He calls me psycho (I have a couple of mental disorders), bi*tch, whore, hoe, stupid and there's probably more...
He's told me recently "you're another *insert psycho ex-girlfriend's name here*" and "I hope you die". He tells me he hates me and if I get angry it's because I'm pmsing. According to Corey, guys are always right, girls are always wrong. He's sexist big time, and is also a complete hypocrite. Guys say to never argue with a woman, because you'll never win, well no one will ever win an argument with Corey... just because the way he is. He has an excuse and an answer for everything. He never admits he's wrong at all, very rarely anyways. One time, I gave Corey a hug while he was sitting on the couch, and he snapped at me accusing me of wanting sex when I was really trying to be loving and cuddly. I even think he may be gay or bisexual... That's all I can think of at the moment... but anyways, a childhood friend recently popped into my life. My ex best friend Timmy. Not ex best friend because we stopped being friends, but just because our families moved away from one another and we simply stopped talking and whatnot. We were 6 when we met, and my sister and his sister are best friends. We have known each other for a very long time as you can imagine... the difficult thing is is that I'm now developing feelings toward Timmy... Growing up, he used to protect me from his little brother (who I was going out with at the time [I was a little too young for dating... but oh well, we were kids :P]). His little brother would always hit me and beat on me and Timmy would always defend and protect me. One day, I got sick of his crap, and dumped him, and asked Timmy if he would be my boyfriend and he said yes :) But his little brother went home crying to his mom and she separated Timmy and I and I was back to square one.... If I were older, I'd tell her off lol but I was 6 and didn't really know... but anyway, almost 21 now, and it seems the more I spend time with Timmy, the more attracted to him I get. Not just his looks either, but his personality as well. He's giving, trustworthy, respectful, a gentleman, a virgin, never had a "real" kiss (not like that stuff matters), he's funny, and caring, etc.. I know the guy to choose seems pretty obvious, but it's not that easy. As mean as Corey is, he can still be very sweet and I still love him and care about what happens to him.... How do I let him go? What can I do to make it hurt less? How can I let him down gently? Can someone please help me? I've never been in this situation before....this is really tough!! (link)
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The majority of verbally abusive men become physically abusive as well. You need to remove yourself from that relationship not only for your mental stability but also for your safety. You have mental health disorders so not only is he a threat to you but could also make you a threat to yourself. You deserve better than that. Leaving him will be very painful and hard to do but there are ways you can make it easier. Think about how a marriage with him would be. You would constantly be controled and your self image would slowly diminish due to his abuse. If you want children you would need to think about how he would treat them if he treats you that way. Do you want those traits in a husband and father? Make a list of all the terrible things he has done to you and how he makes you feel when he does those things. Try to stay away from all the good thoughts of him and anything that reminds you of how things used to be or are sometimes because its not worth it. Everytime you begin to think of him or miss him remind yourself of those things. Begin a stable loving relationship and it will help you see how detrimental the relationship with him was. Leave him. For you. For your emotional and mental health. Love yourself first. Good Luck. You can do it!
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So i've liked a guy for about a year now and we've hung out a few times and stuff. well, my friends went to semi and i didn't (prior engagements) and one of my friends danced with him (she knows i like him). Then they started texting all the time and he asked her to prom and she's going!
I feel so hurt and embarassed and ugly and i really dont know what to do. she'll probably ask me to go dress shopping and stuff with her but i think i might cry if i do.
Am i being overdramatic? Everyone is telling me that i am but i can't help it :(
what do i do? (link)
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Dancing with him is one thing. He may have ended up liking her but that didn't mean she should have reciprocated that feeling. She should have kept texting to a minimum and said no to going to prom with him. She was not very respectful to you and you are not overreacting. It's not a good idea to put yourself in a position where your emotions are compromised so dress shopping with her is out of the question. You can not help the way you feel and never let others make you feel like your emotions are out of line. They are there with good reason. Really think about whether she is going to be beneficial in your life. Ponder what you do and do not like about your friendship with her. Maybe she's not such a great friend afterall.
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19/f
Thank you for reading and deciding to help! First and foremost, let me tell you a little bit about my previous eating disorder. When I was 17, I was diagnosed with anorexia. I turned to excessive dieting as a way to cope from a difficult break up. I was eating about 600 calories a day and working out for about 2 hours. After being anorexic for about 6 months, I was weighing close to 80 pounds. I'm 5 ft. But, after over-doing it for six months, my body couldn't handle it anymore. Without any control, I started bingeing. Mind you, my parents didn't have enough money to put me into therapy. The bingeing was so much harder to stop than the dieting because it became a habit. My body was so weak and all I could think about was eating. Eating all the things I hadn't eaten for months. Before I knew it I was at 106. I thought I was HUGE. Truth is, that now I realize I wasn't. I thought I was super fat then and tried to do everything possible to be at least at 96. It was all about numbers and I lived in this world, trapped. So, I tried the dieting again trying to remind myself that it was only 10 pounds. But, every time I tried it, I kept bingeing and then it was a vicious cycle: binge, purge, starve." Now, the last time I weighed myself I was 118. I have stopped bingeing and excessive dieting. But, I need to feel good physically and there's no way I can feel good weighing this much. This is not my weight! I got laid off my job a few weeks ago, and this week I've been having a bit of a relapse. I just want to eat really unhealthy things. It's really bad. I get very emotional if I don't think I can eat what I want, because it feels like I'm punishing myself. I don't want to punish myself. I just wish I could be at least at 110.... where my clothes fit! Where I feel really good working out. This is not like before where I thought I was huge and i wasn't. I KNOW i'm not huge... I'm a size 4 and I have a 26 waist. I'm not HUGE. But, honestly, I think this had something to do with taking birth control. I feel swollen and I just don't feel comfortable going on a diet because I'm scared of what happened last time. Is there anything I can do, other than exercise because I already do that, to lose just 8 pounds... so I can feel like me again?
thanks guys! I love this site and I think that everyone here has always been very kind and answered everything whole-heartedly. I'm blessed to have found it x3 (link)
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They are right. It IS about controling your mind.
There are ways to make this easier without therapy but binge eating and purging do not heal themselves. The simple tips I have provided are quick fixes. The theraputic one below is more time consuming but I promise is more helpful than anything. It comes from an eating disorder based program that I attended. Good luck!
SIMPLE TIPS:
1)Remove yourself from the unhealthy foods. Find foods that satisfy your craving within calorie range and nutrition guidelines. Fruit is a good one since the fat in fruit fills more of your stomach than the fat in junk foods. They are also sweet so they cure that craving. Grapefruit and kiwis are in season right now and are very yummy snacks.
2)It is recommended that when stopping binge eating you still need to listen to your cravings and simply cut down. ex. 5 cookies instead of 10 for 2 weeks. then 3 and so on until you have stopped.
3)Make a list of strategies to control your weight and why you want to. Ex. exercise because I feel more confident and content with myself.
4) Identify your triggers. What situations cause you to crave more than others and try and aviod those situations.
THERAPUTIC TIP:
Mindfulness is a large part of controlling the way we think. Our brains become addicted to certain things and overly crave them. Although your stomach may be full your brain will demand you enjoy more of your indulgences.
A way to train your brain into being satisfied with what you're eating is to be completely mindful of it. Be aware of your senses when consuming that food.
Take what you are eating and look at it as if you have never eaten it before and have no clue what it taste like. Because your brain is working off of appearance and familiarity Close your eyes and smell it. Still with closed eyes touch it. Then taste it. Experience that taste for the first time all over again. When you do this you allow your brain to indulge in senses that we normally do not use when eating and in return your brain is more satisfied with what you're consuming.
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hey i see them now!
lol theyre so cute. thanks so much for sharing them with me. :) im still looking for something to do with my time but have had a lot of nice ideas that im gonna have to try.
:) (link)
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Hope they work!
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OMG, Leah this is ELizabeth. What the crap happened to you?!?! You fell off the planet. (link)
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Mason?!?
I fell off the planet for good reasons :)
Email me if so. My full name @gmail.com
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hey im the girl without the hobby lol
i wasnt able to see your link. it asks me to like sign into google or something so idk.
i would like to see them so if there was another way for me to view them that would be great :)
ty! (link)
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Let me try a different approach. I am going to put it as my avitar for a little while because I cannot figure out any other way to send it to you besides email. Let me know if you can see it!
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hello everyone!
Okay let me start by saying I'm a 20-year-old female, married and well, just bored.
I need like a cool, interesting, affordable hobby to get into but I just cant think of any....
I'm currently a stay-at-home wife while my husband works all day, hes in the usaf. We dont have any kids.
Im looking for a job which has been hard to get one now a days but i havnt given up looking. I used to shop like crazzyy but I definitly cant afford to shop like that anymore. I'm into dogs, puppies, fashion, cooking, movies, taking pictures.
I just need something to get my mind off of everyday problems & worries.
Anything helpful will be appreciated. Thanks so much. (link)
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I am also 20/f and in a very similar position as you. Finding my days lonesome and boring. I was looking around walmart one day for something to do and stumbled upon something wonderful! They are little baked clay figures that you can paint. They are like 69 cents each and you can buy the permanent tempura paint with all the colors you will need for three dollars and a pack of good paintbrushes for two dollars. They are all located in the arts and crafts isle and are a load of fun! Here are a few that I have finished painting. I display them around the house.
https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=f8ce82c147&view=att&th=126b4c6c6497a4f9&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw.
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The other day I tried fingering myself. I can't seem to make my finger fit at all. Does this mean I'm way too tight? Or am I doing something wrong? I'm kind of concerned about it. I wanna be able to do something to relieve sexual feelings and I can't even do that. (link)
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stimulating the clit is more satisfying than fingering. Toys can be helpful.
Your first time having sex will most likely be uncomfortable/painful no matter how tight you are but it seems to me that should not be a worry yet!
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i've never been in a relationship,but i am now for my first time.We haven't been together very long but my expectations were higher than I thought.My boyfriend isn't like most boyfriends I see or hear about. He doesn't call me to talk on the phone,we don't hangout everyday,he texts me a little bit but not that much and i usually have to make the plans when we hangout (since I drive).He is a very busy guy,but still he could atleast text me to say goodnight.whenever we text at night,it usually just results in him not answering because he fell asleep ,instead of him saying goodnight.He doesn't really say cute stuff often but before we were going out,he would offer to buy me lunch and be really nice and since we started going out and doing sexual things (not sex!) he's changed.Don't get me wrong,he IS a nice guy.He hasn't done anything mean to me ,i just kinda feel a little neglected at times ...but is this normal since it's a new building relationship? (link)
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It is not normal at all. He should go out of his way to make you feel wanted and make you feel loved. Although you do not have to have constant contact and it is good to have seperate lives, you need to feel and he needs to make you a big part of his. He may be a good person and have not done anything significantly wrong to you but he does not care enough to show you the attention you deserve. Don't settle for that. There are many guys that would adore you and love to show you they truly care. Communicate your needs to him and if he reacts poorly or gives excuses then he is not the type of person you should keep around.
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I started talking to this guy (Josh) last august. We are talking to each other until now. He is very sweet to me, we even enjoy talking to each other until morning. I have a huge crush on him, and he knows it. We talk about school, our favorite movies, books, philosophy in life etc. We have "something" but we are not committed. It's like a pseudo-relationship. Recently, he have been talking to me about mature subjects. He's told me that he is fantasizing about me. He's insinuating on having sex, he is a discreet person. He is not a virgin, but i am. Does he really likes me? Or he just want to get in my pants?
I know for a fact that he is sweet to other girls too. But he is different to me. He talks about mature stuffs.. And i don't know how to respond to those things. I want to ask him about us. But i am scared that our friendship will be gone, once i bring the subject up. (link)
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I have learned you HAVE to be careful with guys. No matter how sweet or genuine they seem they are almost always open to the idea of sex. It sounds like he is attracted to you in more than one way based on the amount of time you guys talk and the nature of what is discussed but the fact that he brings sex up in that particular way is a red flag. I believe hes in it for sex. You are a virgin. Very noble thing. Do not give yourself up to just anyone. Especially not him. You deserve the best and I guarantee you when you think you have found it you will find something better.
Wait wait wait! I admire you. Stay strong. If he is a true friend and someone you need in your life then you will not lose your friendship with him over sex. It hard to lose friends but remember that you are number one in your life and keeping people around that compromise that idea have to go in order for you to grow as a person. I wish you luck in that he really will be a friend to you. Don't settle for less than you're worth.
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Hey,
If you have herpes on your lip, like a cold-sore... and you give somebody oral, do they get genital herpes?? (link)
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Type one and type two are majorly different. If you have type one which would be cold sores and is nothing major you can give it but it's of no concern. Type two is Genital herpes and is something that needs to be treated immediately. You can not give type two without having it first.
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My cum smells likd bleach. Is that normal? I am a 22year old male. (link)
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More like chlorine mixed with bleach and salt
Yes. Completely normal.
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i live in IA,we have a zerotolerance law.im 18 and blew a .68 but was not issued a ticket that night.could still receive one (link)
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As long as he let you go and did not write you a citation or ticket and you do not have to attend court then you are fine. Be careful!
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hey so i'm going for my first photoshoot in a week and i was wondering if anyone had any tips for me? not to brag or anything but i have a really pretty smile but i don't really know how to make any other face without looking bad..lol so any advice? and any advice in general? (link)
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Look directly into the camera and connect with it as if it were someone you deeply care for. Do some not smiling with your mouth slightly open, some smiling, some with your head tilted to the left some to the right. Its all about your eyes so just think of the emotion you want to display and snap into role and let your eyes do the talking. You'll be great! Best best best thing is to be confident that you are beautiful and you will do just fine.
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for senior year since second semester is extremly empty my school has "senior exploration" where you choose something (ex: medicine) and intern or "study" it then u have a presentaion and receieve a grade.
i need help choosing one.
i want to a) make my own magazine
or b) something with fashion (vintage clothing maybe or being a buyer idk yet...)
those are my two passions.
or maybe being an agent (ari gold style)
if i were to do the fashion one what would be the twist, like what should i do like for example clothing and religion... (not that i would ever do that!) but something like that..
OPINIONS! (link)
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If you decide to do fashion I would focus on how styles have evolved over the years but how they reoccur as well. For example bell bottoms were popular in the 1800's and then the 1960's-1970's and then became popular again in the 1990's. Fashion continuously cycles! Also incorporate why the styles were the way they were. EX. Bell bottoms were created for sailors in the 1800's because the wide leg fit over their heavy boots and were easy to roll up when cleaning the deck. Then in the 1960's U.S. naval recruits were taught to use their bell bottoms as life preservers by slipping them off, then tying the legs open and capturing air in them. After that it was used as a fashion statement to those who wanted to move away from the conservative loose clothing. There are many more styles that have repeated themselves! You can use pictures and music from that time and even show accessories that accommodated the style. Good luck!
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