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April 10, 2005

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June 18, 2010

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General Sex Questions

about

HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.

if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D

advice

Okay, well my school is having a formal dance. And I need help finding a dress. This is what I'm looking for: short- above the knees, scrunched up bottom, and strapless, size 1 or 3. The color doesn't matter.

Could you give me the online link to a dress with those qualities?

I ALWAYS like forever 21's dresses and they're reasonable. (esp it you'll be wearing the dress once!)

Some are a tad diff than your description but still you might like them!

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dress%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2076017904&Page=all&pgcount=25#

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dress%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2073649464&Page=all&pgcount=25

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dress%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2074036464&Page=all&pgcount=25

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dress%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2075364261&Page=all&pgcount=25

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dress%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2074627800&Page=all&pgcount=25

so i already paid my deposit for college and i'm gonna go there in the fall no matter what. But lately i've been feeling like i REALLY don't want to go there. so i was wondering if i went for the first semester (then didn't go back for the second semester) if i have to still pay tuition for the second semester. please help!

I'm not sure what college/university you are attending, but as far as I know since I'm in college, you pay for each semester as it comes. First its your fall, then your winter or spring semester right? I'm pretty sure you pay them seperately (thats how it works for my college). Also, if you paid, and if you go and a couple weeks in, you really do not like it, I think you can drop or withdrawal from classes and get some of your money back. I'd definitely speak with your college's main office or advising center just to be certain.

I have very pale skin, but this summer I'd like to try and get a tan. I heard that if it is done gradually, even pale people can tan.

How long should I stay out for each day in order to get a gradual tan?

What SPF should I use to protect against sun damage?

If all else fails, What are some good tinted moisturizers that will give me a fake gradual tan?

First, I would suggest using a low SPF or else you won't get tan! Use a SPF 15, or lower. Even tanning lotions that you can use (diff from sunscreen) have SPF. If you're going to be in direct sunlight, like laying outside, I'd start out with 15 mins (with the lotion/sunscreen on). See how your skin reacts later in the day or the next day.. are you red anywhere? is your skin irritated? is your skin fine? You can judge from there. If you're red in a spot, apply more sunscreen in that location, but if most of your body is red/sunburnt, then you know to lower the time outside the next day, like 10 mins. Don't get discouraged if you try it and the next day you don't see a difference, it takes time! So if you're skin is fine, then up it to 20 mins the next day, and so on. If you really are dedicated to getting a tan, you have to lay out everyday or every other day, or you won't see a difference. Good luck!

Do you moan or make nose when you get fingerd?

or what should i do?

Guys like to know you're enjoying it. I've never met a guy or have heard of any guys liking it when a girl is quiet throughout any sexual act (fingering, or sex). I would just go with it, and see what happens.. if it feels good, let out a moan or a sound to let him know he's doing a good job. It's not weird or embarassing, it's a big ego boost for a guy.

Tell me if this is normal because i'm freaking out.

I'm a 17 year old girl. Junior in High school. I still can't wear tampons. Is that bad?? I only wear pads and i've tried soooooo many times to try tampons but they hurt too badly and feel weird all the time and i just overall hate them. I feel so different. like other girls can handle sex and stuff, but i can barely put in a tampon! is something wrong with me?? It will be a year with my boyfriend in May and he's always wondering why I don't want him to finger me. If i tell him, or anybody for that matter, i'll be so embarrassed and feel like i'm so different than everybody.

Helppp i'm desperate.. everytime i try, i start crying in frustration because it NEVER works out. I get about an inch in, and then it starts to feel weird and gross.

If it helps, i'm terrified of needles. so i think that putting in a tampon reminds me of a needle going in me. do you think that could be a reason??

I know it'll sound weird, but try using a small mirror (like one that has a stand, so you can prop it up on the toilet while you're sitting on it). I used to have the same problem, but like the other advicenator said, when you do it right, it goes right in. And also, like she said, you being frustrated causes your muscles to tense, making it that much harder to get the tampon in. Next time you do it, relax and sit on the toilet with a mirror like I said, so you can see alllll the way up there and know exactly where the tampon is going. I'm almost positive this will work, even though it sounds weird! And with the boyfriend situation, I'd tell him honestly "I can't even get a tampon in, I'm really tight down there. It'll deff hurt!" He'll probably just laugh it off and say okay. It's NOT a bad thing at all. Once you get the tampon situation under control, then work on the boyfriend part and see how far you can go without it hurting. If you want to try it, let him go slow, and he should respect that :)

me && my ex boyfriend have broke up, we broke up last year after 3 months, then 3 months later we got back togehter....we got back together when he saw me in the mall, we got talking && i told him i had just gotten back from a holiday with some friends && he said he knew, he had heard from other people etc. he noticed that a lot of things in my life had changed...got a new job...etc. do you think thats what drew him in? the fact i had done different things and he wanted to be a part of it?

Most likely. Guys get bored easily, and end up breaking up with girls because of the same old, day after day, and things become routine. When he saw you and heard all these new things, he was probably very surprised, curious and a tad jealous he was not involved at all. When guys see something new, fresh and exciting, they want it. The same with electronics! lol They always want the new game system! He saw that not only things in your life had changed, but you have, and you were doing very well. Guys are drawn to positivity and radiance. He saw that you weren't all depressed and wrecked over him, and going on with your life normally, he was probably shocked and it deff drew him in.

i was like my ex boyfriends first for everything.we had sex (it wasn't my first time but it was his ,yes i know i should have saved sex til marriage..etc.) i was his first REAL girlfriend ,he told me im the best girl he's ever been with,everything! He was so innocent too.We've only been broken up for less than 2 weeks and he just broke up with me randomly,because he felt as though he wasn't liking me as much because we were together so much and he started seeing me as a friend.but he still said im the most amazing girl ,and im cooler than any girls he's ever liked and i actually meant something to him.All his friends told me that he talked about me all the time and he really did like me.For the last two weeks,ive thought about him like crazy.the day after our breakup, three of my friends saw him and said he was sad. Ive been sad for the last 2 weeks,and i gave him a sincere letter and he told me "it was a deep nice letter but he wants to be friends.."
We've been talking in school a little bit because we have a class together and he texts me only when he needs something..yet i havent been doing favors for him and i usually just blow off his questions in the texts.It's hard to believe that one day you can kiss someone,call them baby,cuddle with them ,etc.then break up with the person and get over it so fast.I havent texted him first or talked to him first,but i can't stop thinking about him and i just have this feeling that he isn't even thinking about me at all.How long could it take for him to realize he's made a mistake?!

That's the thing about the "dumper" of a relationship. The "dumpee" (the person who obviously is not the dumper) is completed blindsided by the break-up, because they think everything's fine and going along okay.. but the dumper has had the time to get over the relationship. The odds are, that he's been feeling that way for awhile and he just broke up with you now, so basically, he's had alot of time to get over it, while you on the other hand, have not. Believe me, I know. It's like a slap in the face, and then you see your ex and wonder how can be okay about it while you're confused and hurt.

Listen, you can't convince him that he's made a mistake. You have to go on with your life, and if he realizes it, then great. If not, then that's okay, because you'll be fine ! You don't want to be the stalker pyscho ex. You're doing a great job of not texting him or talking to him first, because he wants to talk to you, he will. Give him some space, and while you do, hang out with friends, flirt with other guys, go on with your life. It's always a possibility he will realize he loves you still, but don't let that control your life.

My mom is taking me to the doctor to find out if I have had sex. I told her no,but I really have,kinda. But my cherry isn't popped. Will the doctor still be able to tell I had "sex"?

I'm not sure where you live or how old you are, but as far as I know, the gyno (the doctor you're going to be seeing) is not allowed to tell your parents you've had sex. It's patient-doctor confidentiality. Are you sure your cherry isn't popped? And if you mean you kinda have had sex.. does this mean he didn't go all the way in? Because if that's true, it's going to be difficult to tell if you've had sex.. but if you're cherry is infact popped, your gyno will probably know. She's not allowed to tell your mom, but I hope soon, you'll confide in your mom and let her be involved.

so. yesterday my boyfriend (of 1 1/2 years) grandfather died yesterday in his sleep. he never woke up.

so he asked me to come along to the wakes this weekend. (yes, i have met his grandfather multiple times, he was a wonderful man!) of course ill go if he wants me to, but its not in my best interest to...you know?

well, any suggestions with what i should say to his family members that i have not met yet? this is a very sad time for his family. i feel like they wouldnt want me there, i dont know. ryan asked me to come. im going to have him ask his father first. i don't want his family to be angry that im there...like invading their privacy.

and, i heard the first wake of the day is for family and the second wake of the day is more for friends...

i just need help! i haven't been to a wake in forever.

I deff agree with the other advicenator who wrote to you. Make sure your boyfriend asks if it's okay if you come along (and if he just says "oh its fine" without asking, explain to him that you really want permission from his parents). You don't really have to spend much time thinking of what to say or act, if his parents come up to you or another relative, just say "I'm really sorry for your loss". It's not a time for alot of conversation or meeting and greeting. Even though you haven't met much of his family, just be polite and express your sympathy. It's really thoughtful he asked you to come, he wants your support. Show him you're there for him, and when your with him at the wake, rub his back at times so he knows you care (but no kissing, that's a little inappropriate).

im 18/f and basically i cant fit tampons in...it only goes up so far??? i dont know what i can do. plus me and my boyfriend tried to have sex and we couldnt because his penis wouldnt fit. is there anything that i can do to help loosen it? thanks

For the tampons, you might be tensing your muscles and that makes it 10 times harder. I had the same problem, and I thought it was because I was so "tight" down there or it was too small, but it will fit. What I did and what I would suggest to you, is to sit down on the toilet, and use a small mirror. If you have a mirror that can stand by itself and put it on the toilet seat so you can see alllllllll the way in. Try putting the tampon in then, so you can clearly see where its going and remember to relax and not stress over it.

With the boyfriend/sex issue, you probably were a tad dry down there or maybe he wasn't hard enough.. try lots of foreplay (fingering, fooling aroud, making out) and make sure you are both turned on, and then try having sex.

Aight. Im fourteen (girl) my bf is sixteen (boy). Haha, so we've been dating for almost six months, and I love him to death but it seems like things are kind of fizzled... Like we still love eachother and our feelings are strong, it just seems... off... I can't even explain it. It's like its just not new.. It seems like when we hang out we just result to the physical stuff everytime to keep things interesting, for the moment... We've hit third base (but no oral) and I probably won't hit oral or anything past. But I don't wanna spice things up like that anyways... He doesn't like the whole cutsie note and gift leaving thing and nor do I... I just want it to be fun and new and exciting again. How do we do this??

First, I want you to know this is perfectly normal. In relationships, things tend to hit a boring spot. Things become routine, and not exciting. The way I used to deal with this with past boyfriends, is go somewhere new, or try something new (not sexual!). Go somewhere neither of you have been before.. maybe a new restaurant or place to hangout. I know, this idea might seem sorta weird and stupid, but it works. It brings conversation and curiousity, since you are both trying or going somewhere new and different. It spices things up, and really helps a relationship. Maybe an interesting museum, or go to a diff town or city thats not too far. You could even ask him to pick to go somewhere neither of you have been. Hope things work out!

Okay, im in sixth grade and i have an AMAZING best friend, let's call her hailey. I also have another friend, her name is hannah. now hannah has this group of friends, that i also used to hang out with and they were really popular last year but not really anymore. What they do is accept me into their group, but then they dont talk to me. at all. they ignore me, they never laugh at things i say. When they do talk to me, it's to make fun of how well im doing in school or what im wearing. I try to ignore them because they aren't real friends, they're all bitches but then they all get pissed at me and talk trash about me behind my back like "She had been so crabby lately". And it's like I wonder why! If they want me to hang out with them and sit by them at lunch, maybe they should actually treat me in a respectable way. am i right? what should i say to them?

These girls sound.. bored.. and jealous. Basically that's it, and it's simple. They see someone "new" in their group, and to make things more exciting, they try to pick on you and try and get other people to laugh. It's pretty pathetic. I don't know why you're hanging out with them actually..? Have you tried talking to Hannah about it? Since she is your friend, maybe she can tell you why they're doing it or to get them to stop. If that doesn't work, I'd either not sit with them, or just play along and laugh like it doesn't bother you.. they'll start to get the point.

I'm a senior in high school. Just finished my very last college application last week.

Most colleges I applied to were either Ivies or almost as (if not equally) selective / prestigious.

But I've been thinking. Schools like these tend to put enormous pressure on their students (does Cornell REALLY have the highest suicide rate or is that just myth?). Now, I KNOW my chances of getting into any Ivy are slim to none, so I probably shouldn't even be worrying about this, but.. is four years of stress really worth it? I mean, for the most part, a Bachelors from Harvard and a Bachelors from a state university only really differ in ... the name of the school. Yes, it can get you ahead in getting a job, but it won't KEEP you ahead. And yes, of course it'd be nice to not be surrounded by complete idiots for the next four years of my life (though there are idiots everywhere).

Is it worth it?

It's worth it, if you think it's worth it.
Some people just want to go to an Ivy because of the name, the label, to be able to put it on a resume, to be able to tell their friends/family, to be able to brag and look incredibly intellectual.
Some people really want the education aspect. Ivy schools are fast-paced, difficult, and very no-nonsense. If you want the highest of education and to have the best professors, that's why you go.
I would decide whether you want the label of it or the education of it. Yes, it's stressful but in the end, you have mass amounts of knowledge and experience, plus like you said, more options for careers, especially in our economy.

19/f
Hi! I'm writing here because I'm having some issues with my mom. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My parents are divorced and I live with my mom. I never really had a relationship with my dad until now. Now we are close. But, before, it was really just me and my mom. We live with my grandparents (her parents). In June 2009, the day after I graduated from high school, my parents decided to tell me I was adopted. I just met my biological family in June. When I was younger, I noticed some peculiar things. My mom was like kind of overly obsessed with me. By obsessed, I mean that since I was 13, and talking to a boy for the first time, she would sit by the computer while I was IMing and tell me what to say. Let me just make you aware that I went to an all girls school so this really WAS the first boy i talked to. It was a really big deal for me. She would make me put the phone on speaker and tell me everything to say. She checked my myspace back when that was the thing. She checked it CONSTANTLY. She would write on people's myspace's as ME! and when I changed my password, she would tell me she would never speak to me again if I changed it. She put me in a school I hated because it had high security. She wouldn't let me do my own makeup EVER. Since I was 14, she would do my make-up even just to go to the movies, and it was like a lot. It was make up for someone that's my age now, not a 14 year old. I don't know. I love her so much, but I just didn't know why she was like that. But, after she told me I was adopted, I understood some of it. All she wanted was a baby, and she got one. That was her life. She was overly protective because she was afraid I'd find out or someone would tell me. So, I understood a little bit of it. It's not that she was protective in the sense that she wouldn't let me do anything. She would let me go out and live, but, she just never gave me any privacy. For college, I wanted to leave. I wanted to go to California for college. After they told me I was adopted, I decided to stay. I wanted to be closer to home, close to my friends and family. I also wanted to be close to my dad, because we had just started getting close. So, I am in the university, but living at home. Although things are better, because my mom has given me my privacy, it seems like she still wants to run my life. She tells me who I can LIKE and who I can't. She tells me what to eat, what to do. She tells me what clubs to join at school, which ones not to. Obviously, I don't listen..... but, she just needs to stop and accept me as an adult. I honestly can't take these things seriously. I mean, I'm the furthest thing from a trouble maker that you can imagine. But, these are decisions I have to make on my own. I just need to get her to understand that. I'm very responsible. I've worked all my life. I make my own money. I'm in the University. Right now, I don't plan on going to California, because things have tied up here. My friends and I have gotten closer. I've joined cheerleading and I'm in a sorority. So, I like it. I'm happy here and I don't plan on leaving any time soon. I don't have enough money to get my own place. I LOVE my mom. She is my best friend in the whole world. But, I need her to step back and let me be an adult. Can anyone offer me any advice on how to do this?

Let me just say first, you are incredibly lucky to have SO many people that love you and care about you. You have your family, who have adopted you and love you entirely and your biological family who obviously loves & cares about you. You're also incredibly lucky to have your mom as your best friend, and to have a mom that wants to be involved in your life (I have that too, and I'm always told how lucky I am).

But getting down to business.. It's a good thing you're starting to understand why you're mom is trying to integrate herself to every aspect of your life (because she's scared of losing you). Understanding is the first step. You have to sit and talk with your mom. Tell her how much you love her and how grateful you are for everything she has done for you, and also tell her she is not only your mother, but your best friend. (Moms love to hear that!) Calmly let her know that you're in college now, and 19 and it's time you start making decisions on your own. Bring up your track record (and by that I mean, let her know you have never been a trouble maker or involved in dangerous things). Ask her if she can let go a little bit, and let you make some choices and that she can have her input too, but to back off a bit. If you talk maturely and openly, your mom will be more receptive and agreeing. Make sure she knows you won't just abandon her and run off, or that you won't let her in on your life.. make sure she knows you want her advice and input, but just not on everything.

17/f

so I fell in love with this guy, Zack. Long story short... He is my boyfriends friend and we liked each other. We hung out a few times and after a few months with him, I know i love him. And I know it's wrong to date someone but love another person. I don't need the speech. But something just hit me about Zack. I really do love him. I care about him a lot and I CANT get him off my mind.

In January, Zack decided to act like a jerk and ignored me for a month. During that whole month, I couldn't get him off my
mind. I sent him so many texts and calls. But he still ignored me. Then in februrary he finally talked. He told me that he has been ignoring me because he knew it wouldn't work out. (there's a 2 year age difference). When I asked him if he loved me, he said a little bit. There's less communication. We talk like 2 times every week. And he always gives me 1 word answers. It's better than nothing right?

Anyways, I don't know what to do. I want to get over him because I know he's not worth my time. And he's only going to make everything worse. But how do I get over him. I've never felt this way about a guy. He won't get off my mind.. I love him so much.

I semi don't want to get over him because I want to fix things with him. Even if we were just friends. But friends are even working right now because he still doesn't talk to me as much and he just seems so uninterested sometimes. Other times he will laugh and smile (but still 1 word answers). So it's not like he's completely rude to me and stone cold. Sometimes he's nice, other times he says I bug him. I tried asking him what can I do to fix it, but he just says idk.

But I kinda already know that he doesn't want me and it won't work if I just want it.

What do I do??

3 words - let it go. I know it might seem harsh, but I really wish someone told me that straight up when I was still in love with my ex years ago, calling him all the time and wanting to just be near him. If you were someone else, reading what you just wrote.. what would you think/feel? What advice would you give this girl? I'm SURE you would say that she needs to move on and let this guy go, once and for all. Calling/texting him is not helping you, it's just hurting you and ruining ANY chance of having a friendship with this guy later on. He probably thinks you're annoying, because trust me, I was annoying way back and his guy friends told me that he thought I was psycho! Imagine what he says about what you're doing. Cutting off communication is the first and biggest step. Do not talk to him, call him, text him, etc. You will never get over him if you don't, end of story. From what you say, he does not want to work things out. His word one answers? Well, they speak volumes. He's not interested anymore. Why would you want to waste your time on this guy! He might be amazing and the one guy you've loved, but it's over. We can't force someone to love us, or like us, or to take us back. I don't understand why you even let him tell you you bug him.. that should have been the last straw. Take a deep breath and realize you are too good for this, you deserve someone to think you're perfect. You deserve so much more than one word answers and on/off communication. Tell yourself that it's time to dust yourself off, and leave him in your past. Life's short, so love someone who will love you back.

Hey, first of all thanks for taking the time to read my question and give feedback :)

I have been hanging out with this guy and I recently told him that I liked him and he said back "I really do like you but I need to take a break from dating right now. We can still hangout though. If I didn't take a break then it wouldn't be fair to you or to me." (He recently broke up with his girlfriend in December, I believe.) I told him that I appreciated his honesty and telling the truth. He's very sweet and I do like him an awful lot and so I was just wondering what you thought. If what he said meant that there is a chance that we would end up getting into a relationship, but he just needs time for himself right now. I also know that you can not push someone into being in a relationship if they are not ready to be in one so I don't know if there was anything I could do/say to let him know that I would wait around until he was ready. I'm not talking waiting months and months but for a little while because like I said, he is awfully sweet and I do like him, a lot.

Thanks for the help :)

ps: i am 19/f and he is also 19.

It's a real tough situation. I've been told that, I've had friends who have come to me that have been in that situation too.. where the guy says "I really like you.. BUT, I'm just not ready to date or be in a relationship."

The tricky thing is, he could be completely honest and really like you OR he could just be brushing you off and just wants to play the field and not be tied down at all. The best advice I can give you, is to just play it cool. Like you said maturely, you can't force someone into a relationship. Be cool about the situation, and le things happen. Waiting around for him is not the best choice, and I mean that in a way.. where if another guy comes into the picture and you brush him off because you're waiting for this guy.. Go along with your life. Hang out with him if you want to and be friends, be flirty, but don't.. and I really stress DON'T.. let yourself be ths guys hookup chick. He doesn't just get to fool around with you, and then leave, no questions asked, because he's not tied down. Flirt with other guys, date other guys even.. and this guy might start getting jealous and realize "I really don't want this girl dating anyone but me!" If he tries to play the card "Aren't you going to wait for me?" or something like that, just casually say "We'll see what happens and how things go." It lets him know you're independent and not to be walked all over.

Heyy!
i'm a freshman in high school and since my school is really small, the senior boys date some of the freshman girls. So when i found out that this guy nick was intrested in me i was speachless because it was way to good to even believe cause he's the football captain of the varsity team, and best looking in the school. He was a senior gym leader for my friend sarah and he asked her for my number. ever since that we started talking he came over a couple of times, worked out together, and went to see movies. but last weekend, i invited him over to relax and watch a movie and he was saying that it sounded good cause he was still working and was going to come over after work. SO an hour later he says to just tell my parents that he's taking me out for ice cream. (he really wasn't)but i agreed. Anyway when i got in his car i questioned him why he changed plans and he said he had to pick up a couple of friends at a party so he only had half hour. After we were done hanging out he texted me back "i miss you already!" we stayed talking for an hour then my last text sent to him was "that's too bad im not going to be in town for valentines day" and he never texted me back afterwards. The next week he was dancing with the girls dance team for the school pep rally and looked up and smiled at me during the dance mabe about 5 times. but it just bothered me that he was dancing with another girl. I seriously don't even know if i should just forget about him and move on or what? cause it honestly looks like i'm a booty call? Could you mabe give me some advice?
Thankyouu!
-mandy

Well, there are ways to tell if you're just a 'booty call' or someone he is sincerely interested in. (I hope you're not having sex just yet though! hah hold off a bit with that!)

When a guy sees a girl as a fling/booty call, there are signs. He won't talk about personal issues, he won't introduce you to his friends/family, he won't want to meet your family, he'll call every once in awhile out of nowhere instead of everyday or every other day, ad he won't be interested in what you have to say - for example, he won't ask about your family/friends, he won't want to hear stories about your life, he just won't seem interested in your personal life and he'll just be very nonchalant.

I would think about all this.. do you think you're overreacting? From reading what you wrote, and as an outside person looking in, it seems like this guy likes you.. but just doesn't want to move it so fast. So keep is casual and relax. Guys like to feel a girl out (figuratively) and see how she reacts to situations.. they like to see if a girl is psycho-stalkerish, if a girl gets jealous easily, if she gets along with his group, etc. The text msg thing is not a big deal, guys never know how to respond! If you want to text him, then do it.. but in a casual way, cute way. I know I'm writing alot, but I just want you to understand what I'm trying to explain... The bottom line is, it seems like he's interested. Just take it easy and don't get stressed over the small stuff! Let things flow and it'll work out.

can someone tell me what college life in philadelphia is like?

is the city somewhat similar to new york city? as busy?
is there something like canal street in philadelphia?

I guess I'm bias... but I go to college in Philly and have lived here all my life. It is such an amazing place to go to college. It's very similar to NY, just not as fast-faced and crazy. There's just so much to do in center city philadelphia, and tons of colleges, so there's tons of college kids roaming the streets. It's just a good energy, though I admit, some parts are bad and dangerous, but that's why you avoid those areas. I'd deff recommend philly for college or to just live a "city life", since it's not as nuts as NY, but still busy and lively with tons of clubs, stores, buses, trains, schools, nightlife, etc. There's nothing like penn's landing and south street, OH and broad street! (which might be similar to canal?)

Im making their sims but Idk what to give them as traits.

Here is the list of all the traits:
http://asilee.com/2009/06/01/the-sims-3-personality-traits-and-their-discriptions/

Thanks!

For Serena, I'd pick charismatic, maybe daredevil, flirty, and friendly, and party animal.
For Blair (what a personality!) I'd pick brave, ambitious, hotheaded, mean, snob, and unlucky.

16/f.

The other night I was at a party and so was my ex-boyfriend. We'd hardly seen each other in a year but he's still very important to me and I care about him very much (was also my first love). Anyway, although we basically never speak anymore, we were both really drunk and upset about different things, & we were on our own & having a heart-to-heart, then we both started crying and were comforting each other. Then just suddenly we started making out & had our hands all over each other etc. It was mutual, neither one of us leaped on the other or anything.

After a while, we realised what we were doing and he told me to go. A friend of ours was stirring things up and trying to convince the other that the other was still in love with them.

I think we drunkenly agreed that it was just a drunken mistake but I'm not sure. I want to talk to him because I really care about him and want for us to be friends again but I think it's all messed up and awkward now.

So my question is, should I message him explaining that it was just a drunken thing and I don't have any feelings for him, despite what the other friend was saying, so it won't be awkward? Or is that making too big a deal out of it? And if I should, should I also say that I'd like it if we could be friends and that I'm here if he wants to talk, or is that a bit inappropriate and taking it too far?

I'd really appreciate your help, thanks x

I would just be very laid-back about the situation. If you're set on messageing him, (which it sounds like you really want to) then be cool and sweet about it. Even joke around a little, if you want. Say something like "I hope things are okay between us, and there won't be any weird awkwardness =\ since the other night was a littlee crazy. I just wanted you to know I'm here if you ever want to talk or whatever." It lets him know you're not being weird/awkward and opens the door for him. If he does respond, that's great. Be a friend and be cool about it all. If he doesn't, atleast you made the decent move to explain your feelings a bit. Just let it go and don't try and message him again.

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