Mine used to be clammy and sweaty because I was so nervous around other people. Are you shy? (I know that you can be really shy but still "act" like you're not.) And yes, there is a prescription medicine for this...I got some from a dermatologist I used to see...it's called Drysol. Good luck! gigi

Shaving off all of your pubic hair has only recently become popular. In the 1960's people began shaving just enough so that no hair peeked out from the two-piece bathing suit. More hair came off as suits became smaller. A patch of pubic hair, trimmed away from the thighs, and trimmed low, is what I remember seeing in Playboy and other magazines twenty years ago.

I'm not certain when the bare pubis became all the rage, but I do know that perverted men who fantasize about young girls definitely prefer it. I personally do not wish to revert to my prepubescent self. But then, I'm old enough not to care about following trends. And no man has ever said anything about it to me one way or the other--but then, they're older, too.

Just remember, if you decide to do anything about it, that your skin has been protected by the pubic hair and thus will be sensitive until it is used to being "bald". gigi

It sounds to me as if Nicole is pretty interested in Nicole.
What does the word "friend" mean to you? I think that a friend is someone who is loyal, trustworthy, supportive, and who listens to all of our hopes and dreams, serious thoughts and silliness. A friend is there for you.
Is Nicole really your friend? Maybe you've known her for a long time, do things together, and you think she's pretty cool. That still wouldn't make her a friend. When you are the one doing all of the giving (listening, whatever) it's obvious that the other person is selfish, or needs to be the center of attention. Does having Nicole around make you happy? It might be worth having a serious talk with her about what your needs are, or you might be better off cutting your losses (and her). I'm sure you have other friends, and if you think about it, they might be much better friends to you than Nicole is. Good luck! gigi

Don't "be home" when he calls.
When he asks to get together, tell him you already have a date. If he asks about a later day, say you'll have to get back to him.
No kissing on the first date.
Flirt with other guys when he's around. Flirt with him, too, but only after he has seen you do it with others.
Don't let on that you like him. Keep him guessing.

In my opinion, it's a dangerous game to play if you're really serious about liking a guy. Just think if the shoe were on the other foot, and he was acting that way around you. "Hard to get" made more sense back when girls were divided into "good girls" and "bad girls", and they really didn't have guy friends.
If you really like a guy, please don't "play" him! gigi

It goes into your vagina, which is also the birth canal for any babies you may have someday. Your vagina is located between your rectum (where the "poop" comes out) and your urethra (where the "pee" comes out). The urethra is much smaller than the vagina but some virgin couples have been known to mistake it for the vagina, causing much pain and/or injury for the girl. Why not grab a hand mirror and take a good look at what is down there? You should become comfortable with all the parts of your body before you have sex...it will help you to enjoy the experience more. gigi

Why don't you begin a casual conversation with him, and then tell him (make this up in advance and have details) about a guy you knew before you knew him who was also handicapped and took your hugs and friendliness for something more, and what a problem you had dealing with it. Then smile and give him a hug and tell him how glad you are that you have him for a friend--that it makes you feel better to tell him about problems like that--and how happy you are that he lets you be yourself around him.
I think this will work, and it won't make anyone feel uncomfortable or singled out. Good luck! gigi

Are you also coughing? Do you have a fever? Has this been going on for months, or just a few weeks/days? Most people who cough up blood have pneumonia (other symptoms are fever + cough), but there are other reasons why it might happen. Do you have allergies with your sinuses full every night? If you do, and the air in your home is dry as it usually is in the winter, you might have some bleeding in your sinuses which you are swallowing along with postnasal "drip".
If none of these are the answer, and you have been coughing up the blood for more than a week or so, please make arrangements to see the doctor so he can rule out more serious reasons for coughing up blood. (The medical term for this is "hemoptysis"). gigi

Honey, she DOES NOT HATE YOU!!! It sounds to me as if your mom is a troubled woman, and she is taking her troubles out on you. You've heard that old song "We always hurt the ones we love"? Well, it's true.
Did living vicariously through you--what I said yesterday--make no sense in your situation? It's a form of jealousy, which I forgot to mention. When she tells you about something negative in front of your dad,is it possible that she's doing so because she's jealous of your relationship? That is, are you very close to your dad?
The teen years are so very,very hard on you. They are also hard on your mom. She is watching you become a woman, and that is living proof that she is now "past her prime" and not a young girl anymore. She might also be jealous of that. I remember that one time my mother (who had been drinking...she was never a "good drunk") told me that she had decided not to let me go to college because I would be sure to flunk out the first semester. Well, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach! It took a while, but then I realized that she was then going through menopause and there I was, a young girl in high school, with everything to look forward to, including college (which my Grandpa wouldn't let her go to, because she was a girl and back in the 1940's, girls didn't usually go to college. They got married instead.) So my mom was jealous.
She never was, and still isn't, the kind of mom who is actively supportive. I think we've said "I love you" twice in my whole life. So I know what you're going through.
Let me know if I'm still missing the mark. I'd love to be able to get you through this, because it makes such a difference in how you see yourself. I made sure that my own daughter heard "I love you" every day (we still say that on the phone) and I tried to be supportive even when I didn't agree with her choices. So even though I had a hard time, I think my own children benefitted because I knew what it felt like NOT to have Mom's support.
Please write again. Love, gigi

There are a lot of STD's that they aren't checking for--what the guy was talking about was HIV. You haven't been checked for herpes, chlamydia, ETC. So it's a good idea to continue to use a condom. (If you both want to get checked by a doctor for ALL STD's, then you would know if you're OK for all but pregnancy.) gigi

No, masturbating won't affect the timing of your period. One thing that masturbating to orgasm WILL do, if you're having your period, is to make the period heavier for a short time. This is because of the contractions of the uterus during an orgasm. gigi

Of course your mom doesn't hate you! If she hated you, she wouldn't care at all about anything you do. Really! I'm a mom and I know.
It might be something like this: maybe she has had dreams about your life, hoping to live vicariously through you...in other words, hoping that you would do certain things in certain ways so that she could bask in her own idea of glory. This happens a lot, but few people are honest with themselves or with others about it. I used to nag my kids about certain things (I eventually learned to "choose my battles" and let them be themselves, unless they were headed the wrong way). When I nagged, it was because I wanted them to be the "best" so I could brag and feel good about myself--and I hate to admit it. So ask yourself if this could be what's going on with your mom. If it's not, please give me some examples of what's going on, as specific as possible, and I'll help as much as I can! Love, gigi

What happened to you doesn't mean you are a "slut". You probably didn't show the best judgement in going to the guy's place after school--I'm wondering how well you really knew him, since he turned out to be such a jerk by getting you drunk and taking advantage of the situation. Letting other guys have sex with you as well tells me that he is NOT worth your time in any way whatsoever. If you didn't agree to have sex with these other guys, then what happened was rape. At any rate, no matter how hot a guy is, I would advise you to wait until you really know him before being alone with him in his house.
These guys all took advantage of your intoxication. Did you have protected sex? Are you on birth control? Please realize that you were in a very dangerous situation, and don't repeat it. Don't get down on yourself for it, either; it's in the past, you can't change it, and it doesn't mean that you are a "slut". Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. gigi

It sounds like you initially interested him, and then he changed his mind. This doesn't mean that you did anything wrong; he has just decided he's really "not that into you" but he doesn't have the courage to let you know, so he's ignoring all of your attempts to contact him. In a way, he really has done you a favor, because you might have really fallen in love with him before he pulled his disappearing act.
I could certainly be wrong about this, but try to look at the situation from an objective viewpoint--that is, as if it were someone else's problem. After the phone call, you made a few overtures that he didn't respond to, so I would suggest that you just let go and find someone who really appreciates your special qualities. Remember: it wasn't "your fault" that no relationship developed. Really! Love, gigi

Your kind words have made it a very happy day for me. I'm glad I've helped you! gigi

It sounds like you have bronchitis, along with an enlarged lymph node, which is common when you have an infection. The treatment is antibiotics which you must get from the doctor. Don't "borrow" someone else's or use an old prescription because you don't know which of many "bugs" is causing the infection and if you take the wrong kind, not only will you not get better, but you could contribute to the problems we have now with "superbugs" that don't respond to regular medication.
So please make an appt. now! gigi

Two years is not a huge age gap, but these gaps take on different meanings at different ages. For instance, if you are 12 and he is 14, it is a much, much bigger difference than if you were 16 and he was 18! If the two year difference includes different levels of education, that may make him think of you as immature. If you are in high school and he is in college, then he's going through a "stage" lots of guys do, believing that being in college has all of a sudden made him a sophisticated man.

There really isn't anything you can do to make him think of you as more mature. (Anything you might try would only be silly or sad or pretentious). All you can really do is be yourself! Don't wait around for him--have fun with your friends and other guys--and as time goes on, he may see things differently. (Wouldn't it be funny if you then thought HE was immature???!) gigi

He might love you a great deal. Some guys still carry around the old fashioned notions about what a "good" girl will and will not do, and hand jobs might fall into that category.
Sex is just a part of love. If he is caring and supportive in other ways, that is even more important! gigi

Different tribes have their own official websites, i.e. the Yavapai-Apaches at www.yavapai-apache.org. Just use Google to find tribes you are interested in (I typed Apache Nation Website and just looked at the first thing listed). I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding someone who can answer your questions. Best of luck! gigi

Two you might enjoy:

"On the Road" by Jack Kerouac (lots of pot-smoking going on here...a trip to Mexico...This is actually a well-respected novel).

"Trout Fishing in America" by Richard Brautigan. When I was young, I thought this was great...Read between the lines, look for the unexpected..."Trout Fishing" may or may not have something to do with fish.(!)

A third: have you read "The Hobbit"? A lot of people love the whole series but I just never could get into it. gigi

You've come a short way, baby!
Just leave her gabbing while you go to the dressing room and cashier, as if you can't hear a word she says. When you buy into a conversation like that with "How dare you..." you are taking yourself back to high school, where this probably all started.
As an adult, you don't have to stand there and listen to her, even if she is your mom.

Don't worry about breaking any Commandments here. You will honor her more by not letting things degenerate into a "scene". Good luck! gigi

I have had what I term a "soap opera life". In other words, I've seen it all. Almost.

I work in health care and I'm as old as the hills (not that old, I guess--but I'm definitely not a kid) so feel free to ask whatever you like.


NOTE: I AM NOT MY OWN FAVORITE COLUMNIST (SEE BELOW)!!!! I just hit the wrong button...

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