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RE:Annoying mom
If she loves me, shouldnt she be more encouraging instead of nagging me and bringing me down all the time? very little things she would complain about! i.e. not cleaning the washing machine dryer.. she says it would explode if i dont clean it.. and she would complain about it infront of my dad which resulted in him saying he wont buy a new house because we might make it explode! (note: my mom knows we kind of want a new house) and the worst part is, i do clean the washer.. i'm sorry but this just got me so upset.. very trivial stuff.. she would have to create a big deal about! why can't she say something good instead of just complain everytime she talks to me? she really hates me...... :(
thank you very much for spending time to read this.. you are so good at giving people advice.. i just appreciate it so much!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Honey, she DOES NOT HATE YOU!!! It sounds to me as if your mom is a troubled woman, and she is taking her troubles out on you. You've heard that old song "We always hurt the ones we love"? Well, it's true.
Did living vicariously through you--what I said yesterday--make no sense in your situation? It's a form of jealousy, which I forgot to mention. When she tells you about something negative in front of your dad,is it possible that she's doing so because she's jealous of your relationship? That is, are you very close to your dad?
The teen years are so very,very hard on you. They are also hard on your mom. She is watching you become a woman, and that is living proof that she is now "past her prime" and not a young girl anymore. She might also be jealous of that. I remember that one time my mother (who had been drinking...she was never a "good drunk") told me that she had decided not to let me go to college because I would be sure to flunk out the first semester. Well, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach! It took a while, but then I realized that she was then going through menopause and there I was, a young girl in high school, with everything to look forward to, including college (which my Grandpa wouldn't let her go to, because she was a girl and back in the 1940's, girls didn't usually go to college. They got married instead.) So my mom was jealous.
She never was, and still isn't, the kind of mom who is actively supportive. I think we've said "I love you" twice in my whole life. So I know what you're going through.
Let me know if I'm still missing the mark. I'd love to be able to get you through this, because it makes such a difference in how you see yourself. I made sure that my own daughter heard "I love you" every day (we still say that on the phone) and I tried to be supportive even when I didn't agree with her choices. So even though I had a hard time, I think my own children benefitted because I knew what it felt like NOT to have Mom's support.
Please write again. Love, gigi
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