I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
Visitors: 32793
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i was friends with this guy, we had to separate countries, but still kept in touch with e mail. he visited me and then he invited me over so i went. He was really sweet in his e mails... until when i visited, i found out he has a girlfriend. He kept on denying it. Well there was something between them he kept on sending her messages and erasing them... he was so annoyed that i was there. i never felt special the whole time, he was super busy and just denied everything. i was so irritated and cant control my emotions sometimes and he said it didnt work out bec i was always asking him about the girl and i never believed his stories.. and so i went home. but i feel so stupid for falling for him, why is he lying to me? why cant he be at least honest? we were friends anyway... i feel so terrible. i hate him so much...what will i do to get him off my mind or for him to tell the truth or what do i just do about it all? i dont deserve this at all.... thanks to you all who can help me..am 33 he is 38 the girl is 21 and she stinks. serious. he is divorced, i shouldnt have entertained him in the first place. (link)
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Now you know why he's divorced. It sounds like you were just entertainment for him. Walk away from this one and move on. He is not right for you, or anyone else for that matter. You deserve better than a liar.
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Hi!
I am an 18 year old female.
I've had a few relationships, not a lot, but all lasted nearly a year and here's my ordeal. Well I dated a guy for about ten months last year, my best friend of 4 years, he dumped me in probably one of the worst ways possible and really broke my heart. I realized maybe I was a bit too young anyway. Well I gave myself a few months and mostly just dated around nothing serious until I met this guy, I fell head over heals for him, tall, sweet, handsome. Well It took a lot for me to trust someone again, I contemplated several weeks before taking it to the next level with him. I really liked his family and spent a lot of nights with him and we became very close. I met him through a mutual friend. Well one day out of the blue, I found out he was sleeping with someone that wasn't me. Well I ended it, and now those walls are back up twice as sturdy as before. I was really hurt, well now I am deciding to stay single until I can figure myself out and get everything I need in order. I work at a day care and I ref soccer. That's basically all I have going for me. I really want to pursue my dreams, I want to be an artist, I am really good, I've been told I am I have won awards and I am happy about that. I really want to pursue this however, I also would love to get more experience with kids and maybe become the head of a daycare instead of an assistant.
Here's my problem though. I really love being with someone, I want to go out and find someone but I know it will get in the way of my plans and maybe even stall them. I want to do my own thing but part of me wants someone. I am not really sure what to do. I have my whole life to find someone, but I could miss my career opportunities at any minute. I don't want to get married until I am at least 28. I know if I find someone now the odds of them dating me for ten years are pretty slim, and I don't want to fail and fail and fail at relationships again. I am just torn and confused. Stay single, do my own thing and advance in my personal life, or find someone special and try and not let that get in the way of my own personal journey.
Someone please help :/ (link)
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True love does not make you feel tied down, it elevates you. If you are in a relationship that makes you feel tied down, then get out and live your life. That's the mature thing to do, instead of wasting a guy's time when he could be with someone who wants to be in a relationship. If you are feeling tied down it means this isn't the one for you. Its ok to feel like that. I promise, when its right, you'll feel freer than you've ever felt in your life. Don't waste time with anything less.
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..But is it a bad thing to like my sister in law's step brother? (link)
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No. You're not related at all. Its fine.
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IT's almost 12 at night and I have school tomoro. I'm tired of my oldest sister living in our home. Her time is overdue and she runs the entire upstairs and the house, eats up the majority of our food, is greedy,selfish,and disrespectful. She has no common sense at all. I can never sleep in my room or down stairs on the couch cuz I hear the her showering since she doesn't close the door and her room door light is on as well. Our house is a ipen house, it has normal walls with openings like a window with no glass so you can hear everything. It's like arches. So I can't ever sleep. I'm only 5 feet and am 14....what do I do. My mom doesn't take it seriously yet she is always scolding me on getting to bed on time and all of that crap. Can someone help me? I want to start going to bed early but cant because of my sister. If only YOU KNEW...... (link)
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Buy some ear plugs. Seriously. They work awesome.
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Hello; I have a 30 yr old daughter and 2 grandchildren (which are my world!) living in a home on my property, which I own. I pay all utilities and living expenses and have for years. My daughter is non-medicated, diagnosed bipolar, so she can be difficult at best. My issue is that both of her children suffer from asthma and alergies and the home is older, so for those reasons I feel it would be best if she only smoke outside. I have set up 2 patio areas, one in front and one in back, and she still smokes in the house. She has put her son in the middle and told him if he tells me he won't be able to see me, which broke his heart. He told me and I couldn't believe she would put him in the middle like that, but that's her. She also sees her estranged husband quite often and he is a prescription drug abuser. She was one too for years, and they both spent 30 days in rehab. She is still clean as far as I know. But, that situation also bothers me. What can I do short of making her move and losing the constant contact of the kids, whom depend on me immensely for even their day to day needs. Also, she cannot even hold a job, so I don't know where they'd go either. Thanks for reading! (This is taking a toll on my health too...stressss) (link)
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This is a heartbreaking situation. You are only trying to care for your daughter and her kids, but it seems that your helping has come to the point that its hurting. YOu have enabled your daughter by providing for all her needs while requiring nothing in return. She knows how much you care for the kids and uses that against you, which is horribly unfair, yet it is a situation you have allowed to fester. I see you have a couple of options: 1) You can call your daughter's bluff and kick her out, telling her to provide for herself if she can't abide by the rules on the property you pay for. My suspicion is given long enough on her own, she'll change her tune. But she has to know you are not afraid to risk losing contact with the kids for a while. Once she gets that, she'll back off. But this would take a lot of courage on your part, even a friend to help hold you accountable while you go through the pain of letting her and the kids go. 2)call Child Protection Services and report your daughter. Most often the children go to the next of kin they are most familiar with and grandparents are high on that list. 3)continue to be held hostage by your abusive daughter and just try to spend as much time with the kids as possible. If I were you, I'd be booting her out and let her see what life is like without you. YOu do so much for her kids, she would be lost. She has to know what lengths you are willing to go to make sure the kids have a good life, even if it means losing contact with them for a few weeks while you administer "tough love". Also, do an internet search for support groups for families of addicts and ex-addicts. It will haelp to talk to other people who know what you are going through. Good luck to you in whatever you choose to do.
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I am looking at colleges and am really likeing something in lower illinois or east saint louis. My mom says it is bad for me to move to illinois especially the city there. I am thinking siue, which is right off east saint louis..why is it that bad to move from St. Louis Missouri to east saint louis Illinois or the outskirts of it? i live close enough that i even get in state tuition. What would the pros and cons be of moving states even though it is much closer than the missouri colleges i was looking at? and can someone explain that area if it is worse than greater saint louis i am from? (link)
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East St.Louis is totally the ghetto. One of the worst cities in the midwest. You don't want to go there.
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17, female. I know this guy, he can be D, who is working his way to the top trying to get famous. He has a record deal and an agent and a manager, he does concerts and he's working on a tour as we speak. Now, my best guy friend, he can be N, loves singing, he is putting on a benefit for his friend who has cancer. It's at a bowling alley, so he will be singing for all the bowlers and stuff. It's gonna be fun no matter how lame I am making it out to be right now. I had gotten D to agree to come and perform with N because he has wanted to work with D ever since I showed N the D's videos on YouTube. D said that it would be awesome and he would love to do it. He would pay the 25 dollars to give to the friend of N's for her medical expenses and he would sing with N and bowl with me and it was supposed to be a great time. My mom talked to D a few days ago and he played completely stupid and asked when it was, he already knew, and when my mom told him the date, "his light bulb came on" and he realized he needed to be in LA to record for his CD for 15 days. I want to know how you can just magically forget a 15 day trip to your favorite place to work on your first ever CD that will promote your first ever tour... it seems fishy to me. It also seems fishy to me that my friend asked D if he could perform at her birthday and he said he will but it will cost her money. He is charging that girl to perform, yet he didn't charge me. I know that there is a difference between a birthday and a fundraiser event but for the fundraiser, he was paying money to perform and for the birthday he is charging to perform. To me, a performance is a performance because he has to plan set lists and practice and take time out to meet with the event planner.I know D from church and Sunday at church, he sat in the row in front of me and I counted that he turned around 11 times to look at me, he would act like he was looking at the back doors but every time, he peeked out of his peripheral vision to see me. Now, D knows that I am mad at him so he messaged me and said that if it was possible, he would fly across the country to come back and perform only if it is three hours because he knows how happy it would make me. I find that to be total bullshit.
My mom is adding all of this stuff up to magically believe that he has a crush on me. He bailed on the benefit because he was told that my best friend who is running it, likes me. Him looking at me all of church. Him saying what he did.
But, the fundraiser is not about me, it's about the poor friend that has cancer and I thought being the Christian man he is, would cancel all things to be there for her and do this for my friend.
I don't know what to think and I am so confused. If anybody can read between the lines or think of anything, any help would be appreciated in trying to figure out what's behind all of this craziness. Thanks! (link)
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He might just be embarrassed to tell you that he's actually not allowed to sing at the event. He has an agent and manager and record deal - recording companies do not let their artists perform without their permission. He may have told his agent or manager and gotten reamed for making a decision like that himself. Now he feels stupid for committing himself and doesn't want to admit it. It might not be that, but my sister is a singer and she has the same type of issues from time to time. She can't even go on auditions for singing shows without consulting her manager, and they don't always let her go. That may be the case for your friend. Maybe there is something else he can do like record a message with a couple of lines from a nice song for the friend with cancer, sign some pictures or a card or something, or even post something on youtube for the friend.
Anyway, ask him about it and talk to him about it, don't just guess about it, because you'll always come up with the worst things that might not even be close to the truth.
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Hey so I'm a freshman in college. I play on my school's volleyball team- D3. I really love volleyball. Its a great sport and i've been playing since I was 6 years old. The past 5 years were horrible for me. I got on really good teams (in high school i was on varsity as a sophomore. played for one of the top clubs in the nation) but I rarely got any playing time. i was always the bench warmer. I slowly began to lose my self confidence in my playing..
well I thought coming to this college that things would change. I had meetings with the coach and she seemed really great. But... the season just ended and we are doing post-season workouts. I didn't get to play at all this season. I'm just kinda wondering if its even worth it anymore. Should i quit next year? I feel like i've been working towards this practically my whole life, and its not worth it if I dont even get to play at all.. I've tried talking to my coach about what i can do to improve and get more playing time but she always says the same thing and nothing ever changes. It feels like i'm working so hard, but i still get that feeling that i'm not good enough.
Here's a catch though.. the girl who "took my spot" and is playing instead of me, well she's from out of state and recently she has been complaining about how much she hates it here and how badly she wants to go home. so maybe she's leaving next year? she has mentioned transferring colleges.
so what should i do? keep working hard and hopefully the other girl will leave and then I get to play? or should I just end it now because i honestly dont think its worth my time if I dont play. (link)
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You are only a freshman. Its only your first year in college ball. Its normal for freshman and younger team members to ride the bench for a while. You work hard, work out, practice and always look for ways to improve your performance. Keep that up. I'm willing to bet next year you'll see more playing time and so on and so on. There are other girls that have more experience than you right now and they are getting the play time, rightfully so. Your turn will come. Hang in there. Experience will get you off that bench soon enough.
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I want to break up with my girlfriend but she is still very much in love with me. We have had a conversation and are currently on a no contact break for a few days. She thinks i'll regret it and don't fully appreciate what we have (She's my first girlfriend but she's had a couple before). I do really care about her and hate hurting her. When she tells me how much she loves me, and how she doesn't want to lose me, I really struggle as it makes me love her (how many people are we going to have love us in such a way in our lives?!) and so I really doubt whether I am doing the right thing.
Our relationship isn't helped by me being away at university and when we're together, it is great. However, I really struggle when we keep going for weeks without seeing each other. I find I forget why I love her and find it frustrating.
I'm pretty sure I want to break up due to the way I have these doubts and how when we're apart, I start to become distant from her and not that interested. I just really don't want to hurt her or regret what i'm doing. Advice would be hugely appreciated. (link)
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You just have to suck it up and be blunt. Sometimes in life you end up hurting people. It can't always be helped. Tell her everything you said here. Tell her its been great but its time for both of you to move on. It will hurt her for a while. She may say mean things and keep trying to contact you for a while. But eventually she'll move on too, and even thank you for it. No one wants to waste time with someone who doesn't feel the same way about them.Good luck.
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A former friend of mine will not leave me and a couple of other friends alone online. She's not doing anything illegal but she does stalk us under the guise of "missing us" and wanting to know what we're all up to. Is this anything I could inform her police about? She's been told numerous times to leave me completely alone but has never respected my wishes for long. She eventually pops up somewhere and will reach out to me trying to get our friendship back. In a way I feel like she's harassing me though I know she really isn't. I've considered reporting her to her local cops (we live in different states) but would they do anything? (link)
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Just ignore her. Don't respond in any way. Not even to say 'thanks' or 'go away' or anything at all. Just pretend she's not even there. She'll get the hint eventually and quit trying.
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how do i keep my husband focused on things that we NEED to talk about to resolve the continuous and serious marital issues? he cannot face truth or facts. he always finds a way to divert the subjects either by acting out, anger or changing the subject. if i say something he doesnt want to hear, he 'acts out'. (link)
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You need a third party. Seek counseling. It is an expense, but a divorce is even more expensive, and worse on the family. Or seek help through your church or religious institution. Many faiths offer marital counseling through their church, synagoge, etc. If your husband refuses to go, go alone. You'll need help deciding how to deal with it all. Good luck.
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My husband and I have been married for almost two years. We have a one year old baby boy and another baby on the way. Last night I confronted him because he seemed distant to me... he admitted that he missed being single... he said he felt guilty for feeling that way and that he wanted to be with me because he loves his family and his son... but not in so many words did he say he loved me...
I am completely at a loss. I know there are things I could do better as a mother/ wife... but I don't know what to do to rekindle what he must've lost for me. (link)
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It is totally natural for a man to feel a sense of loss after being married for a while. You have a second baby on the way and it is all becoming very real for him. He is suddenly longing for the days when he wasn't faced with so much responsibility. Think of it as growing pains. Trust me, every man goes through it. Believe him when he says he still loves you and your family. Its probably true. Missing his old life doesn't mean he hates his new one, it just means he...misses it. That's all. He's adjusting. I think it probably took my husband about 7 years to really "grow up". We had many good times and many bad times during that period, but in the end he grew into an incredible husband and father. Give him time. He will adjust. Don't be too hurt. He loves you, or he wouldn't be there. If you attend church or another religious institution, see about couple's studies or counseling. It may feel weird at first but trust me, its the best thing you can do for your family. Your relationship is the most important thing for your kids. And you would be shocked to find out just how many other couples go through the same things as you. It helps. A lot. We do counseling even when things are good, because we know good times don't last and we want the best tools to be able to push through the bad times successfully. This will pass, I promise. In the meantime keep doing what you're doing, and sit down for a good heart to heart once in a while, not just when something is bothering you. With a young child, sometimes its easy to forget to take time to really connect with your spouse. Its important, and no, it does not always come naturally. Sometimes you just have to make the time. You will get through this!
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I`m pregnant, 6 months along. I started noticing recently something on top of my left rib, it moves ever so slightly but never from that spot. I was showing my mom, hoping she had an answer, she pushed on it (not very hard) and now it`s causing me pain. Do you have any idea what it could be? Or what I could do? (link)
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It could be a hernia. Its very common in pregnant women. Make an appointment to talk to your doctor more about it.
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So im talking to a few different guys, and none of them know each other at all. One of them is divorced and has kids but is only 25, just turned actually less than a month ago, I even asked him to come over and I gave him birthday sex. He usually comes over when me and him can which is REALLY LATE AT NIGHT. I dont mind that but when he comes we talk for hours and we really click, he can tell me anything & i feel the same with him, until he starts staring into my eyes with his beautiful big green eyes and starts kissing me and every once in a while it leads to sex, sometimes oral, not always tho. He told me before that since he is recently divorced he's not looking for a relationship but i am dieing to call him my own. I KNOW im ready but it seems like he will never be because of the scars left by his ex. What do I do?? And the only reason I talk to the other guys is to keep my options open but he is the one I want to be with. (link)
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If you want to be with him, stop sleeping with him. Ever hear the expression "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" It sounds offensive, but its true. If you give the prize away at the beginning of the race, why run the race at all?
Take some time to be by yourself. Don't date. Hang with friends and family, fill your time with hobbies. Spend some time thinking about why it is you are so afraid to be alone that you are willing to let a man use you for sex, just in the hopes it will turn into something else. You may be missing the man of your dreams because you are wasting your energy on a man that clearly doesn't care enough about you to make you his girlfriend.
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Hi, I'm 19 and female. I've seemingly got myself in a big mess. There is this guy. Let's call him Jack. Jack is 26 and we have been good friends for 3 years. How would I describe him? Tough guy with an extremely sensitive side. Very responsible, reliable, trust worthy, honest and caring. Best guy I know by far. He can also he ill-tempered. Random spurts of anger are quite common although he would never so anything to hurt a woman. A man on the other hand would be completely done if he ever angered him.
Jack's last girlfriend and him were together for 5 years. He thought they were going to get married and live the fantasy life. That did not work out and he is still very tormented and bothered by it. He basically refuses to open up his feelings to any girl unless he is sure she is the one.
I have a boyfriend but lost my virginity to Jack about two months ago. Yes, I cheated on my boyfriend and beat myself up for it.
Whenever him and I are together, something just seems to click. We laugh, joke around and we're just extremely comfortable around each other. The morning after we first slept together, he had my favorite coffee waiting for me when I woke up. Last night, we had sex and I stayed nude because I was comfortable. He ended up falling asleep on top of me (more of a military sort of position) and I also fell asleep. I woke him up this morning for work and he kissed my forehead and said "you and my ex are the only people I have ever fallen asleep on. Something about you drives me crazy."
He then dropped me off and went to work shortly after.
My thing is, I believe I'm falling for him but I'm telling myself I'm not because I'm afraid of getting hurt. We agreed to be strictly friends (I guess with benefits). He's not looking for a relationship and he did recently say that he doesn't know anyone he would be interested in dating.
I don't know what to think. Advice? (link)
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Friends with benefit is just a nice way of saying "Guy uses girl for sex until he gets bored, without having to bother with the whole commitment problem"
If you are cool just being someone he sees for sex, that's fine. But you don't build a lasting relationship with someone who has ALREADY SAID he doesn't want a relationship. Doesn't work like that. You are understandably taken with him - you gave him something you've never given to anyone else. I can't predict your future but I can tell you that if you continue with this FWB deal, you WILL get hurt. Listen to your gut. If you stay, you'll get hurt. Just remember you have a choice now. Walk away, or stay and accept that he doesn't consider you as special enough to make a commitment to. I know that's harsh, but its reality.
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For a very long time, my mom has been trying to live through me. But, now that I'm an adult, almost graduating from college, it's just getting out of control. She has gotten better, I cannot discredit that. But, I'm really worried. About a year ago, I got hair extensions (long story). But basically, I lost hair because I wasn't eating very well and I also bleached it which was really bad. It was fine for a while... but it's been almost two years now (about a year and a half or longer) that I've had these extensions. They are expensive and limit me from being able to wash my own hair or dry it. I can't ever leave it wet. They are very annoying. It's fine that I had them for a while. But, I think they've overextended their stay. I told my mom that I really want them off. All she says is your not ready. If that wasn't enough, she recently saw a friend of mine with fake eyelashes on. She said I HAD to go get them. The problem with the eyelashes is that they require refills (expensive refills!) Like, maybe $75 every time, which is every 2 weeks. My mom doesn't work. Her income comes from a house that she rents out, whose taxes were backed up. She always has to put herself on a payment plans for cell phones (which she is using my credit for because she lost hers). I work and I'm getting money from school because of my scholarships. So, I help her out with certain things. By the extensions and the eyelashes are getting ridiculous. Today, I have an appointment at noon, which I really needed that time to study and work out, because I have to go into work/class at night. I explain this to her... but she doesn't get it!!! Please advise me (link)
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You need to get away from your mother as soon as possible. I've seen your posts here often. Yes, you do have a huge problem. You will never be able to enjoy a normal healthy life until you find the strength to leave your mother's home and make a life for yourself. Each post you make here sounds more and more desperate. You sound like you are slowly dying. If you have a therapist, talk to him/her about this and start working on a plan together for you to be out on your own. If you don't have one, get one. Lie to your mother if you have to and tell her you need one to work on issues with school or your dad or something else. Just go. You need help. You need someone there with you to help. I wish you the best.
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I'm 21/female. My very best friend recently met her boyfriend, and brought him home to meet me and our family. It's important to note that she has been very very sick for four years; she can rarely leave the house and suffers from an incurable illness that leaves her very weak. While we are happy for her that she may be falling in love, we are VERY suspicious of her new beau. He has been rude, immature and controlling. He touches her ass and sticks his tongue in her mouth when we are in the room. We doubt his intentions and he is very disrespectful to her mother. We worry he has white knight syndrome. She doesn't see him the same way and it has caused a rift to grow between our beloved family.
She has changed so much since she started dating this man. What do I do? What does her family do? I cannot lose this girl, she is my angel. As she is so sick, we cannot simply leave her in this man's care, but if we say anything, she gets upset with us. Please, please help.
(link)
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You have no choice then, but to accept that this man is a part of you lives for now. If you've ever been in love you know that love can make you blind to the bad things about a person. It doesn't matter what other people say, you just can't hear or see it. You say your friend is very sick... perhaps she is taken with the fact that someone, anyone, is interested in her in a romantic way. Maybe she never thought she'd have a boyfriend. Just the idea that a man finds her attractive and wants to be with her may be enough to sweep her off her feet and make her do and say things she never did before. Hearing you talk ill of him may sound to her like you are saying there just isn't any way a "normal" person would ever be interested in her (of course you are NOT saying that). she's in love and everything looks rosy to her, she doesn't want to come down off that cloud right now. If this guy is really as creepy as you say, there's nothing you can do for now. You don't want to push her away, because of her illness and her importance in your life - but if you ask her to pick your feelings over her boyfriend, she's going to pick him. You sound as if you've already talked to her about your concerns. That's good. But if you've made your worries clear already, then you need to back off and let this think unfold. Decide you are not going to comment about him anymore. Try not to offer your opinion about him anymore unless she asks you directly. It will be so hard, but the point is to let her know you are there to support her, but you just can't pretend you like this guy. Its almost like she's under the influence of a drug right now. She's not herself. If and when this guy hurts her, she is going to need you more than ever and she may not feel like reaching out if she thinks she's going to get an "I told you so". Discuss the situation with her family and friends and decide how you all want to handle it, support her etc. You should all be on the same page. Agree that you will all keep your eye on him and share any strange or interesting information you find. The point is to create a safety net for her, so when (if) she does meet with disappoinment, she will have a strong support system to fall back on. I know its hard, but if you want to keep her, you'll need to swallow your pride for a while. Like I said before, she's not in her right mind. Love does that to a person.
One other thing to consider is that maybe this guy really does care for her and is just coming off creepy because he doesn't know how to act around others. Maybe he thinks all those weird things he does is showing people that he really cares for her. Only you can know, but if its possible, try to remain cautious but open to getting to know who he really is. I encourage you to spend as must time with him as you can stomach, if for no other reason than to be monitoring your friend while he's around.
She is blessed to have a caring, concerned friend like you. When you start to feel discouraged just remember that you will be in her life long after any "white knight" has come in gone. Friends like you are a rarity, and I hope you can stick it out with her. She is going to need you.
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17/f. After my senior year, I plan to attend university to get my bachelor's in elementary ed. I love kids and at church, I teach a class at my church. Yes, I've asked a question before about college. Most people usually don't know what they want to do so I should be overjoyed that I believe I found what I was created to do. I know teachers don't make a lot of money but all the teachers I know and had are doing pretty good in life. There are so many pros to being a teacher, making friends that will last me forever because I plan to work with them forever, weekends and holidays and summers off even though I hope to get a part time job over the summer and weekends to get extra money, being able to show my personality by decorating my own classroom and hopefully being the slightest bit of an inspiration to kids my teachers were. However, my only concern that is kind of freaking me out: not finding a job as a teacher. Teachers are vital, that's a job that will always be needed but I am so scared I'll go through college and never find a job afterwards. How do I calm myself down after these thoughts and will there be more chance that not that I will find a job at a school? (link)
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Actually teachers make a lot of money. Its sort of a myth that teachers don't make good money - especially when you consider they work less than 10 months a year. Their benefits are better than any job you could fine in the private sector. You are choosing not only a fulfilling career, but a lucrative one as well. That's awesome! Don't look so far down the road. Concentrate on what you can do now - which is going to school. You've got at least 4 years before you need to start worrying about a job, and many graduates find jobs with the very schools they intern with, so you will be making great connections and learning about opportunities. Tomorrow will take care of itself, worry about today. you will be just fine. You will do great!
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how do i stand my ground? well me and my guy have been off and on for about five years now. but i let him hurt me emotionally. like we fight so much because he thinks i sleep around, of course i don't but he is so hard headed also he wont actually ask me out to be boyfriend and girl friend because he "doesn't do relationships" i don't want to be just a hook up anymore. but i also don't want to lose him...what do i do to save whatever we are? (link)
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You don't even know what you are, so how can you save it. You've asked him. He's already told you that he doesn't want a relationship. Why? He can have you by his side whenever he feels like it and still do what he wants. Why would he feel inclined to change that. The ball is in your court. You can be a hook-up or you can show him you demand respect yourself by demanding a relationship or nothing. You might be surprised at how he responds when you get a backbone and stand up for yourself and leave. But you are going to have to either surrender your dignity for good or take a risk and find some some respect for yourself. The choice is yours, because he has already made his, and he's been honest about it.
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You responded to my question about husbands porn!Some of the pictures date back to 1980 even so he has been collecting a while!I cant tell you how betrayed i feel,i feel like i dont know him,he treats me well and we have no surface issues until i found this and was totally devastated im not sure even if counseling will help im having a hard time even looking at him and he doesnt even know i know!It bothers me because he is a attention seeking person and always wants the attention of his grown daughters friends thought it was just a part of his personality,now i really wonder (link)
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Yes. Counseling will help. Trust me. Everyone thinks that until they actually go. What won't help is sitting around being hurt and expecting him to change just because you feel bad. That's not realistic. You need to take some action or be prepared to be ex #4... yes, its just that serious. From one married gal to another, its serious.
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