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i let him walk all over me
how do i stand my ground? well me and my guy have been off and on for about five years now. but i let him hurt me emotionally. like we fight so much because he thinks i sleep around, of course i don't but he is so hard headed also he wont actually ask me out to be boyfriend and girl friend because he "doesn't do relationships" i don't want to be just a hook up anymore. but i also don't want to lose him...what do i do to save whatever we are?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You sound fairly well grounded, your boyfriend sounds like a flake who wants what he wants but doesn't want to work at it or commit to it. To be blunt he is keeping his options open. You can do better than him.
My advice is: he sees himself as getting the milk for free so why buy the cow. Stop giving him the milk. Close the barn door and tell him when he is ready to commit to your relationship you will consider whether you will let him back into the barn.
In the mean time you should look for someone that can appreciate what you have to give to a relationship. Someone the will work with you to build a lasting a meaningful relationship. You have nothing to save in this relationship since he has put nothing into it. It is time for you to move on and find someone who is willing to love you for who you are and not what you give freely. Someone who will work to earn what you put in to a relationship an most importantly someone who will trust you and earn your trust.
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You don't even know what you are, so how can you save it. You've asked him. He's already told you that he doesn't want a relationship. Why? He can have you by his side whenever he feels like it and still do what he wants. Why would he feel inclined to change that. The ball is in your court. You can be a hook-up or you can show him you demand respect yourself by demanding a relationship or nothing. You might be surprised at how he responds when you get a backbone and stand up for yourself and leave. But you are going to have to either surrender your dignity for good or take a risk and find some some respect for yourself. The choice is yours, because he has already made his, and he's been honest about it.
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