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Figure out our relationship?
Hi, I'm 19 and female. I've seemingly got myself in a big mess. There is this guy. Let's call him Jack. Jack is 26 and we have been good friends for 3 years. How would I describe him? Tough guy with an extremely sensitive side. Very responsible, reliable, trust worthy, honest and caring. Best guy I know by far. He can also he ill-tempered. Random spurts of anger are quite common although he would never so anything to hurt a woman. A man on the other hand would be completely done if he ever angered him.
Jack's last girlfriend and him were together for 5 years. He thought they were going to get married and live the fantasy life. That did not work out and he is still very tormented and bothered by it. He basically refuses to open up his feelings to any girl unless he is sure she is the one.
I have a boyfriend but lost my virginity to Jack about two months ago. Yes, I cheated on my boyfriend and beat myself up for it.
Whenever him and I are together, something just seems to click. We laugh, joke around and we're just extremely comfortable around each other. The morning after we first slept together, he had my favorite coffee waiting for me when I woke up. Last night, we had sex and I stayed nude because I was comfortable. He ended up falling asleep on top of me (more of a military sort of position) and I also fell asleep. I woke him up this morning for work and he kissed my forehead and said "you and my ex are the only people I have ever fallen asleep on. Something about you drives me crazy."
He then dropped me off and went to work shortly after.
My thing is, I believe I'm falling for him but I'm telling myself I'm not because I'm afraid of getting hurt. We agreed to be strictly friends (I guess with benefits). He's not looking for a relationship and he did recently say that he doesn't know anyone he would be interested in dating.
I don't know what to think. Advice?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Friends with benefit is just a nice way of saying "Guy uses girl for sex until he gets bored, without having to bother with the whole commitment problem"
If you are cool just being someone he sees for sex, that's fine. But you don't build a lasting relationship with someone who has ALREADY SAID he doesn't want a relationship. Doesn't work like that. You are understandably taken with him - you gave him something you've never given to anyone else. I can't predict your future but I can tell you that if you continue with this FWB deal, you WILL get hurt. Listen to your gut. If you stay, you'll get hurt. Just remember you have a choice now. Walk away, or stay and accept that he doesn't consider you as special enough to make a commitment to. I know that's harsh, but its reality.
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The fact that he was with her for 5 years and it went sour,. clearly destroyed his sense of view on a relationship. He may start to like you.
But STOP messing around with him.
I say that because
1. If he starts dating you too soon,. Youu could only be a rebound and it might ruin your friendship.
2. YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND... WIth that you ahve to think about do you actually love your boyfriend and want to be with him. Because if you do love him then you wouldn't be fooling around with someone elsee.. if you don't well then you shouldn't be with him.and should let him down easily.
3. Friends with benefits never work. One person ends up falling for the other,. and if the feelings are not given both ways it could hurt.
I would make sure you give jack time to heal his heart. and make sure he actually want to be with you and not as a rebound.
Sorry if this was mean hun. just tryin to help
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