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Breaking up with my girlfriend who still loves me
I want to break up with my girlfriend but she is still very much in love with me. We have had a conversation and are currently on a no contact break for a few days. She thinks i'll regret it and don't fully appreciate what we have (She's my first girlfriend but she's had a couple before). I do really care about her and hate hurting her. When she tells me how much she loves me, and how she doesn't want to lose me, I really struggle as it makes me love her (how many people are we going to have love us in such a way in our lives?!) and so I really doubt whether I am doing the right thing.
Our relationship isn't helped by me being away at university and when we're together, it is great. However, I really struggle when we keep going for weeks without seeing each other. I find I forget why I love her and find it frustrating.
I'm pretty sure I want to break up due to the way I have these doubts and how when we're apart, I start to become distant from her and not that interested. I just really don't want to hurt her or regret what i'm doing. Advice would be hugely appreciated.
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You just have to suck it up and be blunt. Sometimes in life you end up hurting people. It can't always be helped. Tell her everything you said here. Tell her its been great but its time for both of you to move on. It will hurt her for a while. She may say mean things and keep trying to contact you for a while. But eventually she'll move on too, and even thank you for it. No one wants to waste time with someone who doesn't feel the same way about them.Good luck.
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You seem to be in the same situation my ex bf had with me :/
The fact is, if you just don't like her in that way anymore then you'd be a fool to continue to stay with her-its not fair on her.
The best thing to do (from my experience) is to just sit her down and just say so. But make sure she knows that you'll always love her and the reasons why.
If you do it gently, then she ma not cry. But don't ignore her and then dump her, because then she'll already be angry with you for ignoring her.
Also, don't get with some else soon afterwards-this hurts girls feelings, and text her every other week to check she's okay. That way your're breaking up with her in the nicest way possible.
Also, avoid saying things like "you deserve better" No matter how hard guys dress it up, the girl always feels worser for it.
Good luck :)
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I feel like I'm reading something I could have written about nine months ago.
I literally was in the exact same situation as you (great when together but away at college) and decided to end it.
And I don't regret it.
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Relationships don't always work out, You being away at College and being in a long distant relationship is going to put more stress on you. From the sound of what you've written you are on the last straw with your relationship. Sometimes we can love somebody but in the end you need to do what is best for you. Relationships sometimes suck and don't always go the way we thought they would. If you don't feel you can balance out a long distance relationship on top of school then end the relationship. There are more fish out in the sea and you may end up finding someone who is more convenient to you and your location. Don't stay in a relationship if you feel it is a burden because that's exactly how you burn yourself out.
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I can completely understand, and long distance relationships are hard..especially being away at school. Explain to her what you feel, and tell her what you told us. Long Distance is a hard struggle and it isn't easy being that far apart for so long. Ask her maybe to be still friends, and see when the summer or school is done for both of you.. how you would feel in the future about perhaps getting back together, but for now to just remain friends as you are still long distance.
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