hey there! My name is Alexandra (or Alex). I am just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.
I'm here because I would like to help people with whatever may be burdening them.
I am empathetic and insightful. However, keep in mind that I am not a therapist but will do my best to help with whatever it is you are going through. :)
If you are feeling in need of 'quick help' and are suicidal, abused, in danger, etc;, here is a hotline:
http://www.crisistextline.org/textline/?gclid=CMTnron-rL8CFYpffgodgokALw
So, ask away! All is confidential (I'm not going to blab about your stuff to strangers).
Website: http://falynnfalcon.tumblr.com/
Gender: Female
Occupation: college student
Age: 19
Member Since: March 16, 2011
Answers: 48
Last Update: October 16, 2014
Visitors: 4888
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How can you love someone but not want to be with them. (link)
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Interesting question, my dear. Two things: you can love someone or you can be IN love with someone.
If you love someone (but don't want to be with them) can mean that: you enjoy their company, deeply care about them, you want to consistently to be in their life, you are willing to be there for them, etc;
Now, if you love someone but don't want to be with them, tells me that you are not romantically and sexually attracted to them. This could be because: you two aren't compatible in that manner, you don't have that 'romantic' chemistry, you cannot picture a future together, you are incompatible when it comes down to values and interests, etc;
When you are IN love with someone...you see this person as more than a friend; a partner. You have romantic/sexual chemistry, you want to be loyal to this person, and you would not want to be 'just a friend'.
In short: You can love a friend, but if you do not want to be with them, then you are not IN love with them. You only love them as a friend.
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Okay, I am a 15 year old girl, I am somewhere around 5ft 6" tall and I weigh 120-130 pounds.
When I was in my mothers womb, I was very active, and ended up making a huge knot in my umbilical cord and wasn't getting enough nourishment.
And when I was born(by C-section) the umbilical cord was rapped around my neck and I was choking myself on it and almost died.
Because of this(My mom also told me that I have a low fat cell count), I have always been skinny. When I was younger, people would come up to my Mother asking if I ate enough. I was wearing clothes for years before I out grew them. My mom would let me eat milk shakes for breakfast everyday to try and get me to gain weight. (I also had bad stomach aches a few times a day from the ages of around 8 or 9 until a few years ago, we still don't know what caused them.)
But other than this, I was like any other normal child. I was extremely active(I mean, I would run laps for fun active, now I'm lazy...), liked to play outside, and though I was a picky eater, I ate normally too.
As I got older I remained thin, but in middle school I started eating a lot more(I mean, A LOT of food. I'd eat more than my older sister and her friend combined)and gained some weight, but I am still thin.
Recently(I will be a Junior after summer), I got a spacer in my mouth so I take longer to eat, and I also haven't been able to eat as much. But I do eat more than enough to be healthy(three meals a day and snacks in between, most high calorie junk food). I'll occasionally skip meals, but unintentionally because I'm not home much and I forget because I snack a lot.
I care little to nothing about my weight and do not think I'm fat, I don't look at calories and even eat junk food most of the time. As stated above.
But for the last few weeks, my friend who's been with me almost constantly has been calling me anorexic. And not just as a joke, or something like that. She actually thinks I am. She tells me almost everyday. It's really starting to bug me.
I've explained to her I'm not, but she says that I don't eat enough and I'm too thin. When I'm actually bigger than I used to be. I know I eat enough(most days at least) and I love food...
I don't know, basically what I'm asking is, how can I get my friend to stop thinking I'm anorexic? And can having a low fat cell count be the cause of me being so skinny? And any other comments you can give would be great.
Thank you (link)
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Hey there, OP! Now, before I begin: 1) I am a recovered anorexic so I can relate 2) As adviceman said: we are not doctors, so it is best to consult with one to get a confirmed diagnosis. All righty here we go!
Due to your medical history that you have provided us, you have a justifiable reason as to you are and always have been so thin. It's not unusual for one to have a raging metabolism that is difficult to handle. It takes me forever to gain weight. :p Your mom obviously took care of you well, so no faults there...
Just by reading through your question, you don't seem to have ever exhibited any sort of disordered eating. Since you are in high school, I am sure that you are aware that chicks and guys are pretty self conscious. Girls can be the worst when it comes to comparing. >.> So your friend can either be genuinely concerned or jealous. Which is ok. Totally normal.
But I get it; it hurts to be called 'anorexic'. I was called that and although I had the diagnosis, it hurt. If you feel comfortable, you can explain your medical history to her, and how it is relevant to your weight struggles. Or you can say: "Hey, I appreciate your concern but I would really appreciate it more if you stop labeling me as 'anorexic'. Even if I was diagnosed, I still don't appreciate that label." And hopefully she'll stop.
Now for some education! Eating disorders are very difficult topics to understand but in case you are wondering, here are some traits I acquired when I was sick:. I was overly self conscious about food and my weight
. Although I was at a healthy weight, I had this distorted image that I was fat
. Restricting and exercising became an addiction
. I thrived on losing weight
. While everyone was concerned for me, I was in denial and did not recognize whatsoever that I was sick
. Whenever I did not feel control over my life, I felt that losing weight and food itself was the only thing I had control over
And much more. Given your height and weight, you seem to be in a good place. You are still growing, so it will still be hard to keep up with your metabolism.
Sorry for the long response... If you are concerned, see a doctor or a nutritionist; or both. Good luck. :) xx
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What is the best way for me to show my girl friend that she means the world to me and that i fully trust her and love her with all of my heart? (link)
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very sweet :) My boy friend compliments me everyday, asks me how I am doing and what I am up to. I never get tired of that. He also asks about my family, and simple things. But the number one thing that all girls (and guys love) is when you remember the smallest details (their fav color, movie, vacation,food, animal etc) that means the world to me, even though I do not expect that :)
As for trust, share your hopes, fears,secrets, and dreams with her, she'll do the same. By doing that you guys will connect on a deeper level. Trust me
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Hi. I'm turning 18 in September, I live in PA. I graduate high school in June and originally the plan was for me to move down with my mom, brother and sister to Georgia. I was excited about the move because I enjoy GA and a lot of family members live there, however, as the time approaches, I'm wanting to go less and less. This happend for several reasons. My friends, most of them, are staying in-state and attending the local community colleges or just colleges that are close by. I recently got a boyfriend 1 month ago. And I found out that colleges charge per-semester, meaning that, just to attend a community college in GA (which I have to if I go) will cost me $20,000 for the first year since I'm not a resident of the state! All of these together are causing me great stress and it's on my mind 24/7. I try talking to my family but they get pissed now since I'm changing my mind. But, it's my life right? I should be able to choose where I want to attend college. The main issue was that I would need a place to stay if I stay here because I would attend community college; that issue was solved because a friend of my mom's who we've known our whole lives would have no problem taking me in, yet my mom still refuses! Then my best friend mentioned applying to this one school, a 4-year, which is kind of easy to get into, and I could stay in the dorms, etc. But I feel guilty doing this behind my mother's back and I'm not sure if I really want to live in a dorm. I really don't know what to do. I'm getting depressed even though this time of year should be joyous for a high school senior. Should I just refuse to go? It's my life, why should I let my mother rule over it? She's not even paying for college, and when I told her how much it would cost for an out-of-state student all she said was "that sucks". I'm so close to running away because I just can't deal with this stress of everyone trying to tell me what to do; family, friends. I'm 100% sure I want to stay here for now. Please help and give me ANY advice, thank you. (link)
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I'm going to give you a simple answer. Follow your intuition. Write down all these stressors to get them off your mind, and which ever choice feels more desirable, then go with that. Even if it seems impossible, you must do what you want to do. You are becoming an adult, you are mature and motivated.
You need to run your own life. Of course it is totally normal and necessary to go to mom and dad for help. But in the end you must do whatever makes you happiest. Even if your mom is totally pissed, or the entire family disagrees, and although you may feel guilt, you can not please everyone. You should be free :D. I'm about your age as well and my parents taught me to go with whatever feels best even if they may not agree. There is no wrong or right answer. And don't choose a location just because that's were your bf is at-but of course it's your choice.
Despite family criticism, mom's opinion,you are in control. express your independence...and do what feels right :)
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Im a boy, 18 years old, about to graduate high school.
for some reason, lately, everything just seems dark to me. Like i feel uninterested in everything and apathetic. I dont repond to my friends much, and dont hangout much anymore, and i always just feel like being alone and i dont wanna do anything.
Thing is, im currently trying to heal from a heartbreak, and now im missing out on prom, and HS is ending and its kinda sad and everything seems so dark around me. Do i have a problem?
And its not just high school, its everything. Im worried about EVERYTHING. My parents, my college, my money, job, etc. ANd i just feel like going to sleep forever and just lazy around.
I feel like there is nothing to look forward to anymore. What s my deal? Help? (link)
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Aww :( heartbreaks suck, but hey that's just one less ass outta your life. I can relate alot because I went through a difficult time during HS. I was worried alot, my parents divorced, and I had an eating disorder, so I became depressed.
I could be totally wrong but since you are feeling as you describe, there seems to be a lot of stress in your life. And you could be depressed due to your symptoms. I mean yea, your maturing, growing, but teens have real life shit to deal with to. And that doesn't always mean adolescence, people have real life issues at any age.
So maybe write down what seems to be stressing you out so you know what your dealing with. If you feel comfortable talk to your parents, if you need more then that talk to a therapist. That's what I did, and she was a great help. Whether your depressed or not, people go into therapy for the simplest things.
To get over this heartbreak, be busy as possible. Make yourself hang with friends, be more involved in school. And focus on yourself. I did these things and it definitely gave me more confidence and made me happier.
This is your senior year-live it up :)
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I dated this guy for 2 months. We weren't official, but he told me he never liked anyone as much as he liked me (he's 18), never found a girl like me, lost hope in relationships until he met me, etc. He gave me every compliment in the book. We had really deep conversations I was never able to have with ANYONE else.
But, excuse the expression, I was out of his league, on many levels, but I still really enjoyed spending time with him: texted him all the time, hung out with him on a regular basis, etc.
6 weeks into our dating, he says he's not ready for a relationship. I'm obviously confused, because HE has been pursuing/wooing ME all this time -- I'm out of his league, remember, so this is SO STUPID of him, since he almost had me -- but I'm okay and we're still as close. Exactly 1 week later he says, "I was so stupid, I know what I want now, I want you." I think about it for a week and tell him for sure I don't want a relationship.
We were still pretty close that week. I saw him a few days after and he's still the same as always, flirty, clingy, "you look so beautiful," etc.
FIVE DAYS LATER: He's official with another girl on facebook, a girl he's been friends with all along.
It was a week before I found out. He wasn't talkative during that week, but not unfriendly.
As soon as I found out, I stopped texting him. It was a d!ck move. Not exactly to me, but definitely to the new girl. She doesn't know me and probably doesn't know he had this two-month-long enrapture with me. And I feel like what we had is just cheapened. I wasn't expecting him to get into a relationship this quickly. Like, we hung out one-on-one a lot and obviously we can't do that anymore. That pisses me off, because we were so close, as friends, and he said he wanted to continue being like that, but now its gone.
Sticky situation is, we're co-workers. I haven't replied to any of his texts and have no desire to. But I'm not sure how to act towards him in work. Pretend nothing happened and be normal?, but I don't think he deserves that. Or just be civil upon contact? Or ignore him?
And why/how do you think he got with that other girl so fast?? I just don't understand. I'm shocked. He was SO into me, he told me so all the time. He said I was the only one who ever made him happy and that he wanted to recreate a world with just me in it. Then... new girl? Wtf???
I miss him as my friend. But I feel like nothing can be the same now. What should I do? :(
(link)
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aw :( I'm so sorry, he definitely led you on I've had this happen to me twice before. But that is very smart of you to recognize his true persona and cut off contact.
It seems that although he did express some interest in you, he was uncertain and afraid. Especially since he had bad luck in the past. And because of that he kept you around because he felt "safe" with you (yet at the same time just wasn't that into you, so he checked out this other girl).
He kept you around by making feel great and fantastic about yourself. And like I said he felt safe with you. It's like if this girl had rejected him, then he would just use you as a fall back (which is not fair to you, you should be the only girl in his world.
So what I think you should do, if you are wandering why he did this then confront him and tell him how it made you feel. (only if the thought is annoying you. Otherwise move on, you deserve better.
If it was meant to happen then it would have happened. If a guy truly cares about you he would focus on you and on you only, and would not give up on you, AND is not vague (this is true 'cause I've read stories, and I have my guy who is like this. And at work, just ignore him. Treat him like a stranger, but don't be mean.
And good job for having empathy towards the other girl-you prob are a bit jealous-but you are keeping it classy by not lashing out.
good luck :)
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Hello.
I am 13 years old & i have lomg blonde hair & blue eyes. I need an emo-ish nickname for the sitemodel group Im apllying for on facebook. I can think of anything!! My name is Taylor Elizabeth. & I would really like a name including "kitty". but its fine without it. Any suggestions? Please && thank you! (link)
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shadow cat
kitty pride (x men name, you prob want something original)
Sapphire kitten
Mystere
Blue Paws
Femine Fatale
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is it good for a thirteen year old to have a job? (link)
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I think it's great! my bro was a paper boy about that age-and got payed. You'll learn how to handle money and communicate with people
good for you:)
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i recently got on a (3 days ago) diet and have only been eating breakfast and nothing more. my periods a bit irregular; last time it started monday the time before that wednesday and before that thursday. so im not sure if i should get it tomorrow. and can the weight loss delay it? cause usually i already feel it in my tummy that im getting it and now im not. i am sexually active but me and my bf always use a condom and it never ripped or anything like that.. (link)
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hmm you really don't seem to be eating much : / I have anorexia-I'm not saying you do but, I have decent nutritional knowledge (and it's my major). Are you sure your intentions aren't just to be thin? If you are only eating breakfast you might as well be only consuming 230-500 cals the average woman needs about 2,000 -about 1,000 (if dieting). If you are restricting, your body will go into starvation mode and feed off it's self.
And it seems you just started this diet, and periods don't always start on time, so as long as your treating you body right you will get it. But yes if you are underweight, it will not come.
Otherwise, healthy weight loss should not delay it :)
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A friend of mine and myself spent the night last year after she broke up with her (on again/off again) boyfriend. Because she was my friend, I guess I assumed that there may be something more long term there and was a little dissapointed when she got back with her boyfriend the following week when I got back from a trip. But I handled myself well and got over it.
A couple of months later, same routine. Again I just let it go, telling myself... "first time, shame on you, second time shame on me".
Things went on, and we remained rather good friends, however the last time she broke up with her last boyfriend, I was the one to help her through it, she was really crushed. Before I knew what was up, I fell for her. I tried to deal with the emotion but was unable to, and subsequently told her. At first she seemed flattered and interested, then all of a sudden the old boyfriend is back in the picture, I am told I am delutional about some aspects of her ever showing interest, and kicked to the curb.
One of the things (which I am comfortable telling) is that I read interest from her was us playing footsie for 15minutes. She insists that I initiated the game and she imediatly declined...
love may scew the flow of time but... c'mon.
Things did escalate beyond that.
I need unbiased advice, I am emotionally caught up in this mess and I feel more and more that this "friend" should take a hike. I am worthy when no one else is around. It feels like this time broke the camels back.
Any input would be greatly appreciated. (link)
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aww I'm sorry :( (don't worry I won't be biased hahah) I think you should let her go..it's hurting you that you are hoping she will let go of her on/off boyfriend, and when he's "off" it's like she's leading you on a bit since she knows you have feelings for her...but then goes running back to him.
So take a step back, keep a safe distance. If it's meant to happen then it WILL happen, but she needs to be fully committed. It's great you help her out but you need to look after your own feelings as well. You shouldn't try to be with someone who appears hot and cold. And she doesn't really know what she wants
Step back you deserve better
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I like this boy, but he said he doesn't like me, how do I get him to like me?
(link)
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Not every guy in the world is gonna like you :) and your not gonna like every guy in the world as well. There's so many out there! And just think; if he doesn't or will not feel the same way-then that's just one more ass out of your life :) if it's meant to happen then it WILL happen. If not, then it won't
You need to always respect another's wishes, you can not force one to feel the same way if they made their feelings clear. How would you feel if you were in his position and he tried to get you to like him? Kind of annoying :P so move on, and you'll find someone just as good who will feel the same way
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I love my boyfriend more than anything, and last month I realised that he lies. Quite a lot. But he only lies about the insignificant things? For example, what time he got up that morning (to avoid sounding lazy). We argued over the matter, and ever since I've been unsure as to whether or not he's changed. I haven't caught him out but that doesn't mean he isn't lying. Should I be worried? (link)
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His insignificant lies could mean he's trying to please you.."to avoid sounding lazy.." Haven't you ever lied to your parents about making the bed, walking the dog, or how late you stayed up last night? It's totally normal, everybody lies. Me, you and Obama. So give him a break.
BUT if his lying turns out to be something like "I went to see my parents last night" when really he was out with friends doing heaven knows what, then I would be worried.
To break it down insignificant lies are innocent, often material: chores, losing something, what he thinks of your look, what he thinks of your friends, time he got up= don't worry.
Serious lies: who he was out with, where he was, something he did, a very odd time of day (got home at 1am instead of 10pm), being hypocritical, something he claims he didn't do, but did= be worried
Otherwise sounds like he's trying to please you
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I honestly can say that I am not perfect. A lot of people think I am though, and its embarassing. I have a larger house in a wealthy neighborhood, I get straight A's, and I am extremely thin! But to counter, I am not good at sports and I dont think I am attractive. When people tell me that I am perfect, I say stuff "No, I am not" and that makes people think I am snotty for some reason. What can I say that makes them see I am not perfect, and not a snob!?!? (link)
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Just be yourself! Don't let their words define who you are, and don't change. you are being modest, which is great. If you are not snotty, and people are saying that anyways, they are prob just jealous. They want to lower your confidence. It's great that you know that you aren't perfect. If it's that annoying, just start telling the person your imperfections, that you aren't ashamed of (not good at sports, my nose is to big, my parents fight, my parents won't let me date, the guy I like turned me down...etc) of course don't say what I said unless some of it is true :P come up with your own. But stay true to yourself, don't let them make you believe you are stuck up.
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How to stay on diet and not give up ?
When I first started my diet I was eating right and everything and I lost 40 pounds. Now Im starting my diet again because I keep cheating. I dont feel bad until after I eat the junk food. I weigh 144 and I want to lose 20 pounds . I always give up in 2,3 days when I'm on diet and I start eating junk food and everything again. How do I to stay on my diet? :/
(link)
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Set goals pr yourself, try losing a pound every week, and visualize yourself looking good in your fav dress, and guys taking notice. Smile on your face, feeling good in your skin. Take the time and VISUALIZE. And just think, after you reach your goal weight, you won't have to deal with this again, other than maintaing your weight.
BEFORE you go to cheat, stop yourself, and focus on your thoughts which are gonna say "it's ok, I won't do it again, just one time"! Try turning that thought a round, and visualize yourself, on the beach looking great. And tell yourself, NO I will not do this! Self disclipine is the key ;) and remind yourself about that pound you need to lose by the end of the week! But when that thought comes around, use whatever motivation you have, even if it means going on the scale and seeing that dreaded number. Ask yourself; do I really want this number to go up? Do I want to start over?
What also helps is to keep a food diary, you don't have to count your calories, but it will help you manage your portions and keep track of what you ate.
And if you wanna cheat, do it ONCE everyweek.
Congrats on losing the 40lbs! :) and good luck:)
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hi guys, i have been very stressed lately and i raelly dont know what about. I guess relationship things, family stress, and school stress. Does anyone have a good way to just sit home and relax? Just to let everything escape from your mind that you havent been able to go a day without thinking about in a few months. To have a completely empty head. I've been thinking so much for the past few months, the things i think about follow me to my dreams when that was the only place i could escape them, and ive had a constant headache for about 2 or 3 weeks. how do i compltely relax my brain, and my body and forget everything just for a day while staying at home? Thank you so much to who ever answers this, it will be highly apperciated! (link)
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You seem to have alot going on :P when at home, go to your favorite place in your house, with no one around, avoid any distractions (music, tv, phone) get into a comfortable position, and lay out your thoughts. Just relax and breath, like meditation. And focus on your body, the areas were the stress "hurts" (stomach, heart, head). Think about what is stressing you, one thought at a time. and some sort of solution ex school: I will go to my teacher and talk about areas where I need to improve. Or family: I will sit down with them and tell them why... is bothering me, or making me feel bad.
By doing that, then your thoughts are planned out, so they are not floating around! Also spend more time with yourself, get away from people and distractions for a while. Focus on you.
What also helps is writing EVERYTHING down on paper, so in a way you are "emptying" your head. Write down your stressors, fears, hopes-just whatever comes to mind, and decide what to do about them. Don't take on all of them at once, just be patient.
To learn how to relax your inner self, try yoga- I love it. Your body becomes aligned with it's self and you can learn what is going on with it.
Good luck:)
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If you haven't seen my previous questions, I am fifteen and dating a wonderful guy. We have been dating for about two months.
Because I have been physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred from my past relationships, I am rather insecure. I get afraid my boyfriend will be upset over a strained subject and close me out, or I will lose him for a stupid reason. Even though I am fully aware he is only here to love me, and he tells me all the time there is nothing to worry about. He is helping me with my insecurities, and I feel like they are fading. Sometimes though I can feel it there, but I am keen to remind myself. I constantly worry he'll hurt me. It makes me so guilty too, because I know he would never ever hurt me purposefully. He is a respectful guy. I am so crazy.
Any ideas to cope with my insecure self? (link)
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That's great he is trying to help you, and no you are not crazy:D
but you really should see a therapist, they will help you face your fears and become more comfortable with yourself and him. You'll feel less guilty as well, with the knowledge that you are healing through professional help. A therapist will help you trust again
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I like this guy, he likes me,hes engaged, and im his "sancha" i want to stop wat we have, but yet another part of me wants to keep wat we have going. I dnt kno if i should break away or keep doing wat were doin.
his fiancee lives in another state, hes in the marine corp nd is stationed in my city. he tells me tht she is cheating on him too, because she has tld him, but he hasnt tld her about me. Anyone wanna help me, im confused. (link)
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If his fiancee is cheating on him then why are they still engaged? Kind of sounds like he's lying, therefore giving you permission to mess around with him, and he wants you to feel that it's ok
If he is lying then you need to back off they are engaged, and it is beyond wrong to mess with a potential bride's man. If he breaks off the engagement that's when it's ok. For now, NO
If you continue to mess around with him, the fiancee will be hurt, and you and his relationship will be forever tarnished. 'cause who knows, if he chooses you, he can mess with another woman behind your back to
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Okay, im 18/f and I have a boyfriend thats 17/m. We've been together for almost four months, and he has broke up with me once for mixed emotions; three days later we got back together.
For the past two nights I have been having nightmares. Literally. I wake up tossing and turning, and sometimes even balling my eyes out. They are always about Riley (my boyfriend) cheating on me with his ex; but last night, i had one where he was on my bed, with my bestfriend, and she was but naked and they were making out; than I broke up with him; and he seemed not to care. I woke up balling my eyes out again. These dreams feel so real, and the leave me with an icky feeling inside all day. Everytime I wake up, I hope the dream will just stop, but when i go back to bed, the dream starts where it stopped, and I can't sleep at all.
I don't know why I'm having these dreams. I know my boyfriend would never cheat on me. My mom hates seeing me like this, and she thinks its my concious telling me he is; but she really doesn't think he would either. Please help me. I'm tired of crying :/ (link)
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Dreams are either gonna tell you your worst fears. strongest desires, and what your hiding inside, therefore will try and guide you
Your dreams could mean that you are terribly afraid of him cheating, so they pick your closest friend to throw in there to make that fear even worse.
Or if that is not your fear, maybe they are trying to tell you something, maybe he is cheating. Dreams are really smart, but can be deceiving (fears) because they are connected to your intuition. When I was getting over a break up I dreamed of my ex with this blonde headed girl, and a couple weeks later, he is with this blonde headed girl. I am not psychic but I trust my gut and my thoughts.
Soo if you suspect him of cheating then confront him about it, he may or not be but do not freak out or jump to conclusions
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M/15 I feel like I have been stripped of emotions, or the good ones at least. I do not feel the same about things and people anymore. It is hard to explain. My parents ask me why I don't like hugging people and things of that nature. I have less friends now and I never feel like going out and doing things. I laugh and have fun but it seems the older I get, the more I'm stripped. I have no girlfriend either. It feels like I miss how I felt previously. A year ago, even earlier this year. A year from now, I'll probably miss the way I was feeling now. Its like I'm being blocked. I'm starting to lose care for certain things. I'm tired, I feel cold. On V-day, a friend told me I'm not human. I'm nice to people but I still feel lifeless and useless. I don't want to go crazy in my stupid house. What is this? What can I do to change? I wanna feel what I used to feel. Am I desensitized? I need a change in my life soon! I feel dead. Its hard to explain, especially when I myself barely understand what this is. (link)
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mm I'm sorry :/ your only 15, and you have your whole life ahead of you! I'm 19, and so do I. In fact I didn't have my first boy friend til I was 18, but hell that's ok, there is so much more in life.
And of course you are human. You aren't perfect and neither am I which is great else we wouldn't be interesting :P
Your symptoms sound like you may be depressed, I experienced the same feelings when I had crap going on in my life, just empty,totally numb, became a zombie, lost interest, pushed people away. So I suggest you see a therapist, nothn' wrong with that.
That way you'll know what you need to do, get confident and back on your feet. It's gonna be ok :P and you have so much to experience
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I have a 2.7 GPA (junior) because I've been having terrible procrastination all through out high school. It took its peak this year.. and I'm still in a mess and trying to sort of things. I've started to see a therapist about it but I just feel very defeated because high school has totally sucked, like last year was the worst year of my life. And it's my fault. And I wanted to go to the University of Chicago but I don't even know if its possible anymore. I mostly had 80s-100s my freshman and sophomore years, but this year I've been doing very bad
. I've been struggling and handing in work late.. due to my stupid perfectionism. and then i feel defeated and procrastinate. and then the cycle keeps repeating and then i just get more and more overwhelmed. and I'm trying to get done a lot but I dont even know if the teachers can accept things from last marking period.. but its so bad that I won't even get credit for English and Math for the first semester if I dont. Ugh, is there any way to get out of this mess?
I have no friends or anyone to confide in.. which is why I had to beg my mom to see a therapist, but its only once a week. I've only seen her once but I'm optimistic, I think. I used to not be this way at all but I've just been on this downward spiral.. and I want to get out of it but i dont know how or if anyone beyond my parents even care. and then i feel bad for expecting people to care but then most everyone else has some friends to talk to. its very hard being a new kid in school, too.. ugh im just tired of feeling sorry for myself and everything. i want a good future but i'm just afraid. like right now im procrastinating.. and everyday i want to do work but i dont know why cant just do it like 95% of the time!!
i dont want to get medicine from the therapist or anything.. i think i just have a huge time management problem. its nothing new, but as the course load increases every year i guess its just become very apparent. i want to fix this problem before getting to college, if i can even go to a good college. im intelligent when i apply myself and everything, and get high grades that way, but i feel hypocritical to show that im smart with all the poor grades i've gotten this year. should i even try to do my make up work from last semester? and is Uchicago pretty much out of the picture, regardless? what about UT Austin?
I feel like kicking myself, cause I know I can achieve much higher.. and then I feel jealous of the other kids who can get into harvard and everything.. its possible, but how did they do it? its so hard to resist the temptations of the internet especially. especially with not having any real close friends really.. the internet has just grown into this huge compulsion. its even harder cause a lot of homework requires the internet. and lately i've just been feeling like crap and excluding myself from everyone.. and its hard cause im actually really social. but i never really feel close to anyone. and nobody seems to care that im going through such turmoil. my parents underestimate it and even when we talk about it.. i still think they dont really get it.
ugh sorry for this babble but i dont know if you can help or anything. like i'll be exteremely grateful if you can, i'm just like the worst state ive ever been in. a teacher said ive become like a totally different person from last year, and i am.. like when i moved to this town i immediately got top marks, like mid to high 90s in everything. but this year, my junior year, its just extremely embarassing. and its all my fault and everything.. but how in the world could i get good recommendations and etc?
im so scared and ive just screwed myself over. can i even get out of this??? i feel like i've let everyone down, especially myself. How much can my GPA even go up before i graduate? i know i can just go to a community college and transfer.. but something about that just seems a bit sad.. i wish i could just go to uchicago first. i spend so much time just daydreaming about the way things could be in the past and things in the future without really doing the work to get the future i want. so many regrets. many times i have thought of freezing time, to get extra time to work on homework. so many times its embarassing, though I know it can't happen. or going back in time. i always feel like i dont have a lot of time.
idk why its so hard for me to see that things change little by little, even when i know in my head its true, my heart just doesnt believe it and i dont know how.
sorry this is just ridiculously long but this is just my life this year. idk anyone else to tell this to honestly. and i really dont want it to get worse, because that has been the trend this entire year. (link)
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First, it will get better, it always does!! Right now, you need to take care of yourself. A reason for procrastinating could be because something is going on inside, therefore you lose concentration and entertain yourself with something else. I procrastinate when there is crap going on in my life. Also I make myself stay up late 'cause in a sense I try and "escape" or avoid the next day, when really that makes it all worse. So maybe there'res something going on inside of you?
So I have learned that if I just force myself to work on an assignment, stress goes away, because I am actually WORKING ON IT. What helps some people are incentives like; "if I get this assignment done then I'll allow myself to watch tv, until then I CAN NOT watch tv" or "if I get good grades by the end of this year, then I will buy that new game". So set yourself goals.
To get you motivated take time and picture yourself in your desired career, happy and successful. visualization always works.
As for college, I became sick and was out two MONTHS at the end of my first year of highschool, then 3 for my junior year. so I missed a huge chunk. now I'm in community college, and it's GREAT. and you don't need to feel ashamed! It helps you get a feel of college life, saves soo much money, majority of universities accept transfer credits from community colleges, and you can manage your own time.
My major is nutrition, and I'm not worried, I'm taking my time. Once you get yourself back on your feet, you'll be confident. Then just start putting yourself out there, meet new people.
and ANYTHING is possible you CAN get into your dream school, please don't doubt that:)
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