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Q: me and my stepdad fight all the time, my mom always takes his side even though he is unreasonable. he tells my mother how to parent me and raise me even though i am 16 years old. it makes me so mad how he patronizes me and treats me like im 5, my mom pretends not to notice. i hate it..... ive tried talking to her all she does is tells me he loves me and that i should listen to him.
any advice?
thanks

Dear ???
I wonder how long your step dad has been in your life, versus how much contact you have with your biological father. It sounds like you feel your step dad has no right to tell you what to do. As long as you hold on to this belief, you will continue to be involved in fights with your step dad, and I doubt you will be winning any of these fights. Perhaps your step dad just came into your life, and the rules in the home for you have changed? Or he's been in your life for a while, and you feel you deserve more independence? Or you feel resentful towards him due to minimal contact with your bio dad? Your step dad and your mother are both your parents and are in a position of authority over you. This is not a dynamic you have any control over, accept what you cannot change and you can talk with someone towards understanding the true reasons you feel so resentful towards your step dad.
Good luck.

Q: hi well this is about me & my boyfriend.. we both have trust issues..but weve been dating 7 months so we trust each other with everything..but im very paranoid bout him going thru my phone..bc, well my parents split up & now my mom & i are dirt poor, & i cant afford my phone. so, im REALLLY not proud of this, but i send this guy..pictures..& he pays my bills. so he text me last night saying "hey sunshine" & my bf saw it..& he kept asking who that text was from & i was drunk so i said idk then i deleted it. & then he saw i deleted it..& now he says he doesnt trust me anymore bc of me not telling him (he doesnt know about the pics..) & i feel so hurt bc he doesnt trust me anymore (but i would feel the same if the roles were reversed) but i dont have any money and i dont consider it cheating bc idk this person, theyre on another coast, & i have NO feelings for him. but it kills me inside whenever i do it & i want to regain my bfs trust but i just dont know what to do..about any of it..please help??

I think you are placing your self in a fragile and dangerous position sending a complete stranger photos of your self. From my perspective, your boyfriend is not the issue here, it is your safety. Please don't sell yourself short over a cell phone. If it is that much of a necessity for you to have a cell phone, I would suggest that you get a part time job. This human being who pays for your cell phone bill, regardless of where he might live, probably has access to your personal information and the ability to travel to your neck of the woods. I get the feeling that your secret with this stranger is isolating you from your loved ones, which can make it easier for this individual to make physical contact with you, possible hurt you and get away with it. Get rid of the phone, tell your parents what has been going on, (for your protection), get a part job and save towards a new phone.

Q: I dont know whats wrong with me but i'm like afraid of people touching me. I'm not like germophobic or anything. Seriously though like even just like if someone is sitting too close or something. Even with my best friend like we'll be sitting next to each other watching a movie and she'll be too close ( which is'nt even that close) and i move a little farther from her. I dont get any of this it's weird. I know alot of you are probably going to say like well if you have a problem with it then stop having a problem with it but i dont think it's that simple. Does anyone know whats wrong with me? Has anyone felt like this before? Help please!

Everyone has their degree of personal space, so on the surface there is nothing wrong if your bubble is a lot bigger than most people you know. However, if you feel uncomfortable with the physical distance you prefer from people, such as you can't resist the urge to move a few seats away from your friend, even though you don't want to. It wouldn't hurt to explore with a therapist, your personal history and understand the origins of your preferred physical distance from others.

Q: How do you find a therapist and are they expensive? I don't have health insurance and I haven't been to a doctor since I was a little kid so I don't have a doctor to ask. I'm in college and I make barely enough money to buy food and pay rent. I think I'm bi-polar and I want to learn how to deal with it and handle it better - it's already ruined alot of friendships and I can't handle homework/class when I'm really low so I've already failed/dropped way too many classes because of it. If I can't afford a therapists where can I go to get diagnosed or at least someone to talk to? I'm not religious so I can't talk to anyone like that. Give me some advice :(

Most colleges should provide free mental health counseling services for their students, as well as free medical services. It should be factored into your tuition. My advice is for you to consult with the student services department, (or whatever they are called) to find out the services students are entitled to.

Q: This will be long, but I feel I need to give all the info for a good answer, will appreciate as many answers as possible, please and thank you. So, I am thinking of leaving the father of my child. He has not hit me in about 6 months. Before that though, I have had my head slammed into walls, hit in the back of the head with a fist, punched, thrown down, he held a knife to my throat and said he would kill me...been pushed and dragged in the woods, he said he could kill me if he wanted and cover it up because he had before, and also strangled two times, once while I was laying down breastfeeding my child. Now, the only evidence I have of this is that one of my friends saw bruises all over my body and another friend was there when I got thrown down while holding my baby. I never called the police because any time i threatened, phones have been broken and his family was very angry when my dad found out i was being abused and called the cops. his parents still do not believe their son is capable of harm and think I am full of shit. my family lives 2000 miles away. He also has broken almost everything I own that means something to me, including pictures of my dead pet and pictures of my best friend and I that are 10 years old. So my question is, without real proof, can I obtain custody of my child...and also, his family is wealthy and will buy the best lawyer around, and be there to support him, and my family is far away and i would have to settle with a public defender. I do not want my baby to never see his father, I know deep down that his dad loves him and it wouldnt be right to take him away. I just want to be the one in control so I can look out for the safety of my child. also, does it matter that he is supposedly "recovered abuser" since he has not hurt me in 6 months? I am very confused. he is also mentally abusive using words like "cunt" "stupid idiot" and "your the stupidest person I have ever met". He does not consider that abuse though. So any input on the outlook of my case if i decide to pursue it would be very helpful, and is there anything i can do about all my belongings that he has smashed and ruined? (one such item was worth $250) thanks very much

My advice to you is to physically remove your self and your child from a dangerous situation immediately. When you are dead, you are dead; no amount of legal justice will bring you back. You will not lose custody of your child, a mother only loses custody of her child if she poses a proven threat to the child's safety. For example, drug use or physical abuse. But with two witnesses to your abuse, (one able to testify the bruises on your body and the other who witnessed you get assaulted,) what more do you need? It sounds like you already know what to do, but feel frightened. If this is the case, your fear is understandable, but you shouldn't let it cloud your judgment. Your safety is the most important, please take action quickly.

Q: I live in a small town of 1200 in the middle of nowhere. I hate it here. I'm destined to be somewhere else like Hollywood. I know I can make it there, but I just need help getting there.

First off my parents tell me I won't make it and I know they won't help me pursue my dreams. I won't give up. I will do it on my own, but I'm not sure how just yet. So what is the best way about this to go? I want to be an actress. Is it better for me to try and get an agent? Acting classes? I need all the information I can possibly get about anything that pertains to acting in Hollywood.

Second, how do I get my parents to believe in me?

It's good to see that you are determined to pursue your dreams, but giving that the field of work you are going into is notoriously inconsistent, in regards to pay, a sound advice would be for you to study a different line of work, which provides for a consistent line of support, while you find some time to pursue your dreams. If you are still in school, then finish school before you go off anywhere. Also you don't necessary have to go to Hollywood to get a taste of film industry. With outlets like youtube, you and some friends can work on putting a film together and sharing with your friends for feedback. Who knows someone with a lot of influence could discover you, you never know. For more insight, you can visit http://stats.bls.gov/OCO/OCOS093.HTM.
As for how to convince your parents to believe in you? You don't have to convince anyone to believe in you, in order to pursue a healthy passion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and that should always be respected.
Good luck.

Q: what, and when is the best way to off yourself, like the fastest and easiest (without a gun cuz i don't have one) i've tried almost everyway (but a gun obviously) but i always get caught in the act please help me. even just telling me household items to mix for instantaineous death (sorry can't spell) and don't try to talk me out of it my whole life people had tried to talk me out of it and it makes no sense i have nothing going for me everything sucks my family hates and abuses me, i have no friends, my soccer team sucks, i suck, please help

It's a lot easier to seek help and begin improving upon your self esteem issues, than trying to figure out ways to get kill yourself. Everyone encounters adversity, believe it or not, it's a natural part of life. Talk to your family about seeing a therapist, or you can talk a counselor in your school. Once you sit down and start airing out your grievances, you will be surprised with how much better you will start to feel, and the mental clarity you will achieve.
Start taking care of yourself, you deserve to.

Q: I don't know why but I always think that everyone hates me. I used to ask my best friend about this and he always told me that it was all in my head and that people really do like me. However, when I try to hang out with friends in my mind I seem to think that they all hate me. I know people go through stages like this, and I don't think it's so serious that I should be getting help, but is there anything I can do to fix things?
-Male, 16

It's sounds that common sense tells you that you are jumping to conclusions, when you feel everyone hates you, but your heart tells you a different story. There are plenty of things you can do to get better, but it is a process, and a process best archived through counseling. Things don't have to be severe in your life to receive counseling, ever heard the phrase, “prevention is better than cure?” Your fear of everyone hating you is not what I would call paranoia, perhaps a combination of being hypersensitive and anxious. One method you can use to ease your fears is through logical reasoning? You can always ask yourself a question like, “Have I done anything to warrant being hated?” (If you have, forgive yourself, make amends and move on.) You can also use reminders like, “I prefer to be liked by everyone, but that's not always going to be the case and I can deal with it. Most importantly always see and appreciate the good in you, and others.

Q: so my whole life i have add mild anxiety and for about ten months i could function after i stopped talking medicine but the past fourish months there's been alot of chaos and i cant control it by myself.
i sometimes find myself having random panic attacks.
little things like school stuff freak me out or just thinking about certain people or things make me extremely anxious.
my nervous are uncontrolable.
i would like to avoid not taking medicine.
anything would help.
thanks. =)

I understand where you are coming from if you have no desire to continue using medication. However one thing that helps is learning and implementing behavioral coping skills for those intense moments, combined with medication. Perhaps you can consider learning coping skills while taking a lower dosage? (Easier written than done).You getting better from your issues with anxiety is not going to happen overnight and it sounds like your medication has helped take the edge of things in the past.
Good luck.

Q: I do not know where to start but to make the long story short i hate my self and my life I am 25 years old i am not capable of having any kind of relationship cause I am the person you want call when u r having bad times however I am never there when u r having good time. Moreover,I finished law faculty but hate it so never practiced.I have done my master degree on something else, event management, but hate it as well. Right now I do not know what I want to in my life. So I have start to think best thing to is commit suicide....do you know the easiest and quickest way to do it.

Suicide is not the answer. The professions you have studied can only have more meaning to you, when you come to recognize and appreciate what you bring to the table. It sounds like you are suffering from major depression and the best course of action is to get into therapy and also explore some medications.
You contradicted yourself in your question, you said you are not capable of having a relationship or any kind. If this is really the case, people will not call you when they are going through bad times. That people call you for help is testimony that you are well liked and capable of having relationships. That's the thing about depression; once it overcomes you, you only see the dark side of things, and not the positive. I am willing to bet that there plenty of positive things about yourself you are ignoring, another example would be your obvious smarts. Please see a therapist; this is your best course of action.

Q: I have two daughters one is eighteen and the other is twenty-three. They both live at home and they haven't gotten along for quite some time now. The older one thinks that we cater to the younger one way to much. The younger one is still in high school and has a dominating personality and is argumenative where the older one doesn't talk and is very distant and pretty much avoids life and confrontations. They are totally opposite in every way. They both work but they don't make enough to be out of the house and being that the younger one is still in high school we do not require that she be out or the older one for that matter. The older one is very angry and feels she is never comfortable or a part of the family. I don't know why she feels this way. She claims that she can't stand the younger one 90% of the time. The younger one feels she is always second when ever the older one is around. I always feel I'm in the middle because I tend to get attacked when I try to intervien when they argue and fight. The younger one is putting so much stress on us financially and mentally because of her demands. I know that it is our fault, but because she has always struggled in school and now she is finally excelling and we are pretty much spoiling her because of it. My older daughter is very angry because of it. She feels the younger one doesn't deserve anything because of her bad attitude and rudeness. We are afraid that if we don't give in she will not further excell, she has done so well and we are afraid she won't try no more. The older one never received things and really never asked for anything as near as the younger one has. When the older one was younger we were not as financially set as we are now. I feel so drained in everyway and I cry because I don't know what to do. I have always prayed that they will get along but it doesn't look good. I worry so much about the older one because she feels so left out and thinks everyone in her family treats her like crap. I have so much guilt about both of my daughters for different reasons. My husband steps in if he's home, or if he sees that I'm getting upset. Most of the time these arguments happen when he's not home. I have so much more to share but that would probably take alot more space. What should I do for my daughters? I'm so proud of the fact that they both work and are doing good for themselves but I just wish they could get along and not make me feel that it's all our fault and that they feel they are not treated equally.

It sounds like you have done a good job in nurturing both your daughters. At the ages of 18 and 23, you shouldn't be experiencing any feelings of guilt, since it appears that both your daughter are capable of adjusting to the realities of life and doing well. The 23 year old doesn't have a leg to stand on, considering that most 23 year olds don't live with their parents, the same applies to the 18 year old, you and your husband should not have to spoil her as an incentive to succeed in school. It's for her own benefit after all. It not uncommon for parents, especially mothers, to have a fear of an empty nest when their children reach the age of maturity. But this is a reality all of us as parents have to face one day. My advice to you is to first set firm boundaries for peace in your household with your daughters, in the event your boundaries for peace are broken; with the 23 year old, you should give her a time period to move out on her own, and with the 18 year old, you can stop buying needless things for her. Of course habits are challenging to change so you will probably need to work on being assertive with the help of a therapist. Secondly, perhaps you can focus your energies on you and your husband enjoying more of your time together, now that your children are grown. Perhaps a vacation to the Bahamas? Go ahead, spoil yourself for a change.

Q: My six year old son is spitting on people in school. He has had referrals, reprimands, and recess taken away. At home we are punishing him by grounding him and putting him to bed after dinner. He is on the verge of losing a field trip and baseball.
What can I do to make him quit this disgusting habit?

I would keep up with the consequences for the spitting at home, so long as they are consistent. I would also suggest sitting down with him, getting his side of story, and trying to piece together just what is going on for him at school, (at least from his perspective.) As for him missing the field trip and baseball game, it's a natural and logical consequence for his behavior, and I would suggest you do nothing to keep it from happening. If you go out of your way to make sure that he does not miss the field trip and baseball game, it would be an act of rescuing. Parents who routinely rescue for their children, run the risk of sending their children the wrong message. The wrong message being; “it's okay for me to display this or these behaviors, because even if I get into trouble, my parents will always bail me out.”

Q: im a 15 year old guy.

i recently came home drunk and my mom called the ambulence (wasn't even really needed). After talking to my mom about my grades and me not going out for awhile (so i already felt like shit), I go check the mail and I got a bill for $730 from the hospital (she thought it would be like $150 max). I havent told my mom about it yet and i dont know how im going to. I dont know how im going to pay that bill, my mom sure as hell doesnt have the money and i dont either. I feel like im really fucking up my life, i just keep getting deeper and deeper in this shit and i want out. I keep getting caught ditching school (which im not going to do anymore). I used to really be a good kid but in the past 6 months all that has changed. Every time i mess up i think it cant get any worse and then it does. I know if i keep going down this path my life will be trash, and i dont want that I want a fresh start but I know I won't get one, so i really dont know what im going to do.

I read your question and wonder if you have an alcohol and maybe drug problem? Otherwise I am not sure what else is going that you feel your life is spiraling out of control, and more importantly why your mother would feel the need to call the ambulance because you were drunk. Your insurance should cover the ambulance fees, otherwise you can always get a part time job and pay the hospital the ambulance fee in payments. As for ditching school, I would advice that you stop, and talk to your teachers about how you can catch up, (most teachers are always willing to help a student who has gone astray). However if drug use is in the mix, these solutions may not be that simple, and I would suggest you seek help with a school counselor, or a drug counselor in the community, and confide with your mother. Either way there are solutions to what you are going through, the first step will be with you being completely honest with your self.
Good luck.

Q: In short, I am unsure how to get over myself and put my son first.
In order to get over an ex of one year i started smoking MJ and sleeping with a former high school mate. The condom broke after the second or third time and i ended up pregnant. The major problem is I still love my ex and i am having difficulty with the question, "why God? why not my ex whom i loved and wanted to have a child with some day? why this person whom i dont deeply care for, who should have just been a blip in my life but now is much more?" i've been diagnosed with quite a bit but major depression is the main thing (to keep it short). i cry almost every day. i dont want to be a mom...im too crazy and impatient and angry. i hate myself for doing this to an innocent person.it makes me almost suicidal...but my beliefs wont allow me to hurt myself anymore or my child.

You sound like a sensible person, so I would assume that you stopped smoking MJ since you discovered you were pregnant. Things usually don't happen in life as we want them to and sometimes as we plan for them to. What's important is that your basic needs get met, you stay in good health and maintain a constant love for self. It's always important to look for the silver lining in every dark cloud, they are always there. If you feel you are not ready to be a mum, that's okay. Just keep in mind that there are good people who can't have children of their own and are always looking to adopt. You have healthy options available to you; you can continue to work on your issues and parent your child, or you could look for a good person or family looking for a child to raise. Either way before you make a decision, I strongly encourage you to explore your options with the help of a therapist.
Good luck

Q: I think I might be Schizophrenic.And Im not lying when I say this either. I feel really weird saying this I've only told three people. Well,Sometimes I hallucinate demon and demonic and scary weird stuff. Like when I blink... and it happens so fast that by the time my eyes are opened its already gone. But ill remember it. They're really super graphic and realistic and sometimes I will see like... almost shadows with no face or shape. not normal shadows and they like move either fast or slow and theyre scary.
I see those in my room at night all the time. and I see those with my eyes open.This has happened to me my whole life and it seems to get worse as i get older.I will also seem to feel something brush by my shoulder or tug at my clothes and pull at my hair and when I turn around, nothing is thier. I looked schizophrenia up and it says depression and anxiety are common to have along with it. and I have Severe depression and anxiety so that really got me thinking..So yeah can you tell me whats wrong with me and if I should see a doctor. I dont really wanna tell my mom is their a way I can get around telling her and still get help? I told her once when I was little and she didnt belive me.and she always thinks I lie for attention

It's not unusual for people to experience visual and auditory hallucinations. Such events usually occur during the wake/sleep circle. However if you are hearing a running commentary of voices in your head, or see images (not there) for longer than two seconds interacting with you, then you should seek consultation with a psychotherapist. Schizophrenia is a combination of delusions, hallucinations, and importantly, a disorganized form of thinking, which is revealed through speech and written words. Another sign of schizophrenia is just a general apathy towards daily hygiene. It sounds like you struggle mostly with anxiety, and as a result, your visual and auditory hallucinations are amplified in your mind. Ether way, it wouldn't hurt to consult with a school counselor to process your stressful thoughts and feelings.
Good luck.

Q: I have a co worker who described me as a manic depressive (her husband is one) I get angry at the drop of a pin I yell throw stuff break things and ive even hurt myself before. I can be perfectly happy one second and then find that my hair brush was moved and be extremely ticked. I have just put off going to the doctor thinking that I'm just simply depressed moving out of state away from my family. I most of the time im worried and I feel like I can't breathe. If I am manic depressive is there any other way to get better other than medication? Or should I just go, I just don't want to be bound to a pill and rely on it for a good day but I don't want to lose my boyfriend (who has been sweet and patient with me)

Manic depressive is another term for bipolar, and I would agree with your friend that the symptoms you report are characteristic of the disorder. You are also correct when you write about medication not being the cure all answer, however it shouldn’t hurt. I would suggest you keep an open mind towards all possibilities of getting better and visiting a psychotherapist.

Good luck.

Q: Lately I've just been feeling reeally depressed. But there are reasons. I'm truthfully not good enough for anyone. There's nothing good about me and I can't do anything. I've been giving up on everything because I can't succeed in anything. I've even been cutting my arms which I swore to myself I would never do. When I try to talk about it I just get more depressed and it's just like well nobody knows what I'm going through anyways so why bother. When I'm with people I act totally different from what I feel. I don't like letting people know what I'm feeling, because I'm constantly depressed. I've even considered suicide. >_<

So can someone please help me stop this feeling? I don't want to take anti-depressants because then I'd have to tell my mom and I don't want her freaking out. I don't want to cut anymore, it just feels like a last resort. ):

The reasons you have given for your feelings of depression, strongly suggest that this is a clinical issue. It’s never an accurate statement to say that there is nothing good about anyone, talk less of you. There is plenty of good in all of us, it seems you find it easier to look for negatives rather than focus on your positives. You need to tell your mother about what you are going through, so she can assist you in receiving the professional help you need. You write about not wanting to have your mother freak out if you tell her about your depressive feelings, cutting and suicidal ideation? Please consider what your mother will go through if you go through in taking your life. You are going through a tough time in your life right now, and given its seriousness, it’s unrealistic for you to think that you can go through this alone.

Good luck.

Q: i pull out my eyebrows, and eyelashes, but right now it's msotly my eyebrows. its supposedly a disease linked to OCD, but my mom claims i dont have it. ive been battling this for 5 years, it lowers my self esteem, and i'm pretty positive i have it. my eyebrows, they have like patches without hair, so i like color them in i guess with thick eyeliner pencil, so it doesn't look ridiculously fake, but still it's weird. please don't judge me for this, its something i REALLY want to overcome, but how? i want to gain confidence and live my life *with* eyelashes and eyebrows, and not having to worry.

What you have described is consistent with an impulse-control disorder called trichotillomania. People who struggle with this disorder usually complain of an increasing sense of tension before pulling their hair or when they are struggling to resist the temptation o pull their hair. Others report experiencing some level of pleasure or relief from pulling their hair. Now usually, it not always the hair on top the head that gets pulled, it can be hair found on other parts of the body; the eyebrows with some people who suffer from this disorder is not an unusual target.
My advice is you see a therapist, to find out if this is truly what you are going through or get it ruled out. Needless to say it might take a lot of convincing with your mother. I would suggest showing her this response.
Disorders like trichotillomania are usually symptoms of a bigger issue, a coping method of sorts, while not a healthy one. Seeing a therapist should allow you the opportunity to process stressors you might be struggling with which may not be at the fore front of your consciousness.
Good luck.

Q: I met this guy 4 years ago. I am in my late 20's and he is in his early 30's. We hit it off. He was everything I was looking for; attractive, charming, sweet, succesful, and loving. 3 months into it he changes into a cocky, disrespectful person. Apparently he had another girlfriend. I suffered as the other woman for almost 3 years. I knew what I needed was to leave, but I didn't. Actually throughout those 3 years, we were on and off. It is now into the 4th year and he has made some changes. I think and feel like he is only seeing me. When we're together, we are deeply in love. We laugh, we enjoy each others company, We are so happy together. And I mean literally "together". He is a very busy guy, so when we're apart...we do not get along. Because I already have trust issues considering he disrespected and cheated in the part, I would think that he would try his hardest to communicate. Of course, he doesnt. Some nights he simply doesnt return my calls. His excuse the next morning is he had a long day and he was tired. I really think that he is not cheating, but I feel like I deserve to be communicated with. Would counseling be worth our time? Is our relationship savageable? I am deeply in love with him. Please help.

Your problem is not with this guy, it’s with you. By all accounts you have indicated that you and this man have different priorities in the relationship. If you are in any type of relationship with someone where you are both not on the same page, there is certain to be conflict. Ideally you will experience more harmony if you were involved with someone whose priorities where similar to yours. So it appears that you are in a passive power struggle to change someone whom you have no power over. Discuss your expectations with your guy friend, and if you feel that you are not strong enough, to hear him say something you don’t want to hear, perhaps you should consider couples counseling. P.S. If you find yourself, routinely in love with someone, who doesn’t share the same feelings for you, then you might want to consider looking into love addiction.
Good luck.

Q: Is there a difference between anxiety attacks and panic attacks? also, is it possible to wake up in the middle of the night for no reason having one? Thanks!

Panic attacks are brief in duration usually lasting about two to three minutes, and they are intense during the attack. The intensity of panic attacks are so great at people who experience panic attack usually develop a fear of this attack, and this fear sometimes becomes a trigger for more panic attacks, which usually leads to panic disorder. Panic attacks are also accompanied by physiological symptoms, such as a rapid heart beat, excessive sweating, and lightheaded amongst others. Anxiety attacks are also accompanied by physiological symptoms, and the intensity can be just as intense as a panic attack or sometimes milder, it just depends on the person, however the main difference between panic attacks and anxiety attacks is anxiety attacks are longer in duration, and they usually last from days to weeks or more. In regards to your second question, you can experience a panic attack anytime even from your sleep at night. In the case of anxiety attacks, the onset is gradually and usually predictable.

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Ugo is a licensed professional counselor in Arizona. He holds a Bachelors in Psychology and a Masters of Science in Counseling Psychology. He is also the host of Road 2 Resolutions, a web site dedicated to addressing questions on mental health issues and conflict resolution issues.
Please visit Road2Resolutions.com for more questions and monthly newsletters.