Sima's advice column

Hi i have been working at my current job for over a year now. I am entitled to 3 weeks vacation time. I scheduled time in April but we got very short staffed and my boss made me work during my time that was aready approved. Now I need a week off in july. I open the building where i work and there is only one more person with the alarm, i am starting shool in Spetember and really want this time off. they don't want to give it to me. What are my rights. Can i just call in sick or something or can they fire me. Can i write up a request for the days off and just not go. i don't want to be fired. But i am going on this trip (CUBA) no matter what. What should i do. Btw what resort do you reccomend in varadero???

Wait a second, how in the world are you going to Cuba? There is virtually no way that you can go to Cuba if you live in the US, unless you go illegally. Maybe I'm thinking of something else. Please correct me if I am mistaken.

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hey guys.
so i made my youtube account and i just want to upload some of my favorite songs you know and make therm into a video like basically just a cpicture and the song playing. just like this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rcnuIKATlY&feature=related
i know i need to upload the song and the picture but do i use a program? i just dont know how to do it. thanks so much !

I believe that you would use Windows Movie Maker for that.

WMM should come pre-installed on your computer (assuming that you have Windows).

The program itself is self-explanatory.

To find the picture a.k.a the cover art, just search for it on Google. For example, one of my favorite artists is Lupe Fiasco, so I would search on Google:

You can replace 'Lupe Fiasco' with your favorite artist/band.

Once you find the picture, save it to a place that you won't forget.

As for the music, have it saved in a place that you won't forget either.

Once you have everything saved, open up Windows Movie Maker. You will have options to 'import pictures', and 'import audio or music'

If you need any further help:

Or message me.

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I know that you cannot actually see the real trial case, but I know that E! and Sky Broadcasting had an re-enactment of sorts of the Michael Jackson court case on television at some point. Is there any way I could watch it online (or if there is some sort of video recording--please include the title) as I need it for a Legal Studies Assignment.
thanks :)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/entertainment/2005/michael_jackson_on_trial/default.stm

That was the most that I could find. I looked everywhere.

http://search.bbc.co.uk/search?q=court+michael+jackson&tab=av&edition=d&recipe=all&scope=all&start=1

(Video Clips)

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i just want to start out by saying i would normally never do this. but im despersate. i need a virgin mobile top up card. i was helping pay bills, and got laid off. then my father who lives in NC had a stroke and the only way i ever got in touch with him was through my virgin mobile phone. (cheaper than a home phone.) im trying to help myself and my mom back on our feet. so i would be highly appriciateive to anyone willing to purchase a top-up card. i dont need any lectures about mooching; im ashamed really to have to even ask on here. but thank you anyways

You're asking a stranger to pay for your cell phone?

No offense, but I HIGHLY doubt that you will be able to find someone to buy a 'top up card' for you.

I'm sorry to be so rude, but that's the truth.

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15/f

So lately, I've been getting small pimples on my shoulders, back and chest. It's not a lot, but it's a little bit noticeable. The rest of my body, including my face, is completely clear. (not trying to be cocky) I've always had smooth, clear shoulders, chest and back. It's really bothering me! I put Neutrogena face acne wash on my chest and it clears it up. But on my back it's harder and my shoulders are acting up. Any thing to help make it go away? Because I know it can on my chest. But yeah. HELP..summer is practically here.

Well, I'm jealous, because clear skin is such an issue for me!

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Bacne

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14/f

This is probably pretty easy to solve but I just want reassurance...
Sorry that it's long!

So, I confessed to this guy. I'd liked him for a while, but I absolutely never showed it so we were just casual friends and all that, texted each other. He's got a girlfriend already so it was stupid of me to even say it but I had to. It was bugging me so much whenver I was with him that I couldn't stand it. I told him I liked him.

In the end I kinda freaked out and rushed off telling him to forget the whole thing and was a total spaz. He said it was really really unexpected, almost to the point of freakin a person out, because I'd liked him for so long and said nothing.

He said I was still his friend, but... I'm wondering... maybe....if he said that just to let me off easy. We weren't really close friends, so it's not like losing me will have a huge impact on him.

He's not texted me for a couple days now, after the confession, though he always did before. even if it meant texting at like 1 am.

My friend had said some things to him about how his comments kind of hurt me a little bit, so I wonder if maybe HE'S trying to give ME space too, or what. (I deleted him from my phone temporarily so I wouldn't be tempted to talk to him before he was ready. I'm really, really trying to think of his feelings in this more than my own.) She did some digging around for me without my asking like, "Why'd you find it so creepy? do you think Mady is nasty or something?" (they're pretty good friends, so it's reasonable that she'd be able to dig like that.)

and he said, "No". Well, that's a LITTLE encouraging. He had no clue I was there, so why lie? I went over to her place yesterday for a few hours and while there she texted him and she said whenever the conversation turned to me, he got real quiet.

That, on top of it being "kinda weird" doesn't really calm my fears about our friendship recovering.

What should I do? Just......... wait it out? and, if he doesn't get back in touch with me all summer, maybe give him a smile and a wave at school this coming fall, and if everything seems ok strike up a convo like nothing happened?

what can I do to not think about this so often, too?

I think that what you have done is more than enough, in terms of your efforts. For now, you should just forget about him. It was a good idea for you to delete his number, because I know that the temptation is there for you. Just wait it out, like you said. Wait for him to text you first. Even if the friendship is lost, it's really okay. There are tons of other guys out there. Talking like nothing happened when school starts again is a good idea too, so it doesn't seem as if you're still hung up about it.

It will all be okay, trust me. He's still young (probably only 14/15, right?). He doesn't know what he wants himself.

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alright. i think that i was sexually abused by my dad. ive heard that when youre younger you can block out bad memories without knowin that you did.
i remember certain things, like him stickin his tongue in my mouth when i kissed him. and i didnt think it was bad so when i kissed my mom i did that and she was like 'dont ever do that!'
and he told my mom 'wow her boobs are gettin big!'
and he'd also come in to the bathroom while i was takin a bath until i was 8 or 9
ever since i was maybe 4 or 5 my vagina lips have been pretty stretched out, and i have no idea why.
so my parents got divorced for their own reasons, and i was always scared to be with older men even with friends (like my youth group leaders from church or other friends dads) and i could never find a reason why.

plus, when i saw my dad for the first time in a year recently he was like 'wow youre hot, but im just an old man to you.'

i finally got in touch with my half sister from his side that i havent talked to in years. and i asked her what he was like with her, and since her mom and my dad got divorced she doesnt remember livin with him but she said, 'i visited him sometimes, but i think that that story should be left between him and i...'

and she hasnt messaged me back yet. and now shes a lesbian.

does it sound like i was sexually abused as a child? because for some reason i really feel like i have been

I really think that you were.

http://apps.rainn.org/ohl-bridge/

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well if i go swimming wil it change colors? or will it just wash out the color? cause i probably wont mind if it comes out. it only cost a dollar. but is there any chance it will change my hair color? to like green or any other weird color?

No, unless you have dyed it blonde, then it will not turn green. The color will probably fade a little bit and if you go swimming, your hair will become extremely dry and brittle. A good tip is after you're done showering and have washed your hair, put a small amount of conditioner in your hair and rub in thoroughly, then wrap it in saran wrap for 1 night. This will lock in moisture.

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ok so just last night i dyed my hair like a dark brown color its almost black cause of how dark it is. well i wanted to go swimming today and the pool is clorigne. what will happen if i go swimming after dying my hair last night. will it turn green or something. if it helps anything the dye is from the dollar store. cause it actually really does work on my hair. and stays there longer then other ones ive had. well my question is if i go swimming in clorigne water will it turn my hair green or anything. please help me asap! i need to know before i get everyone to go to the pool thankyou in advance

You need to wait at least a week before you go swimming otherwise the dye will come right out. If you really can't wait a week at all, then you can either:

1) Wear a swim cap
2) Just put your hair up in a bun or high ponytail and avoid getting your hair wet

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hello, i love wearing high heels but i'm already pretty tall (5'6"ish). is there any places that have cute heels but aren't 4in high? something like 2-3inch would be nice (no kitten heels please)!

thank you all in advance.

Here you go:

http://www.dsw.com/dsw_shoes/catalog/collection.jsp?width=&category=cat20010&brand=&color=&sort=&material=&searchType=category&curPage=ALL&level3=&level2=cat20010&level1=cat20006&level0=cat10006&size=

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I'm starting to hang out with this guy. We do lots of cool stuff but I was wondering.. what do guys like to do, or not do, with girls? I mean when hanging out. Lots of different responses would be great.

I liked Jack's idea. Beside going out to a restaurant, you should cook for him! It doesn't have to be a 5-star quality feast or anything like that.

http://hungry-girl.com/chew/chewdetails.php?isid=1021

http://hungry-girl.com/chew/chewdetails.php?isid=822

http://hungry-girl.com/chew/chewdetails.php?isid=793

http://hungry-girl.com/chew/chewdetails.php?isid=1456

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Do guys like when girls where guy shorts and a t-shirt or sweatpants once in a while?

I think that guys like it when you wear their clothes too. I heard that from somewhere. For example, if he left his t-shirt or his hoodie at your house, then you could wear it when you hang out with him. But dress it up a little with a cute necklace, know what I mean?

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Where is your favorite place to put your hands, and body, while you're making out?

My favorite place would have to be in his hair, like running my fingers through it, or kind of like stroking the back of his neck.

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This is getting me frustrated. Everytime I say something when my family doesnt hear it. They react like I had said something bad when they say what. That gets me so scared cause its like they snapped before I could even react. NO what I mean. Its like they dont want me around anymore and that I am wasting my time with them. I just feel so misunderstood. No one wants to help me go get counseling. I dont even have a job. And dont tell me to get a job and move out cause I really can not get a job right now. I hate my family so much its all about me that is why the reason their life is hard. Uuhhggg I need to move the hell out.

I completely agree with Christina. If you are going to complain and not take the action to get yourself out of the situation, then what's the use? I feel the same way as you do all the time. When I feel like this, I just call my best friend and go hang out with her. I try to avoid my house sometimes because it seems like I'm always getting in trouble. It's a little hard to do that since I can't drive, though.

Besides getting a job you can
- Spend time with friends.
- Volunteer (retirement homes, animal shelters, library, etc.).

I don't know what your situation is (where you live, how old you are, whether or not you can drive, things like that), so I can't give you specific answers.

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I always wear skinny jeans now. I have no idea what guys think of them. What do you guys think?

Some guys like them, some guys don't.

If you like them, then wear them.

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What's an ideal outfit for a girl to wear to hang out with a guy?

Well, I'm not a guy, but I will tell you that you should wear your favorite outfit. If your favorite outfit is a pair of sweats and a tshirt, then... that's probably not the best idea! You should find a nice shirt (I'm not saying that you need to find some really fancy blouse, though, just a 'nicer' shirt). If you radiate and feel comfortable in your outfit, then that will show. It's better to wear something that you like than wear some fancy dress that you found but you just don't feel right in.

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I've hung out with this guy a couple times. There's been soo many PERFECT places and times to kiss him. How many times should two people hang out alone before something happens?

It all depends on how comfortable you guys feel when you are together. You need to examine his body language. If he is open and very relaxed around you, then that is a good sign. If it seems like he is closed off and tense, then it is not the right time to kiss him. Some people kiss on the first date, others may wait a month or two. I say just go for it and make the move first. If he isn't going to make a move, then don't lose your opportunity. The worst that he could do is reject your kiss, but thats okay, because there are plenty of other guys out there!

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i'm a 19/f and i'm korean. i'm 5'6", but i love wearing heels, i try to find ones that are only 2 1/2in tall, but i always end up getting ones that are around 3-4 in. i know this is random, but i was just wondering (since koreans/asians in general) are sort of conservative) if 3-4 in heels on a girl is too high/looks bad? thanks all for the advice, i'd love both asian girl and boy opinions, thank you :)

I'm not Asian, but if you love wearing heels and you feel confident in them, then that will show. Confidence is sexy. I wish that I could wear heels (I'm 5'10"), so I'm a little jealous that you can pull that off! :)

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Some people i feel so sorry for, but i know that i can not spill my guts.. i try adn try but i still don't know. i have lately been getting some really weird ones that i am so scared to answer but i want to help. please help me figure out a way to put mean stuff nicely.

Are you talking about questions that are in your inbox? If you don't feel like answering the question, there's always the option to reject it. If it's out of your comfort zone, then there's no obligation for you to answer it.

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