I confessed and now I think I've ruined it between us...
Question Posted Wednesday June 10 2009, 9:21 pm
14/f
This is probably pretty easy to solve but I just want reassurance...
Sorry that it's long!
So, I confessed to this guy. I'd liked him for a while, but I absolutely never showed it so we were just casual friends and all that, texted each other. He's got a girlfriend already so it was stupid of me to even say it but I had to. It was bugging me so much whenver I was with him that I couldn't stand it. I told him I liked him.
In the end I kinda freaked out and rushed off telling him to forget the whole thing and was a total spaz. He said it was really really unexpected, almost to the point of freakin a person out, because I'd liked him for so long and said nothing.
He said I was still his friend, but... I'm wondering... maybe....if he said that just to let me off easy. We weren't really close friends, so it's not like losing me will have a huge impact on him.
He's not texted me for a couple days now, after the confession, though he always did before. even if it meant texting at like 1 am.
My friend had said some things to him about how his comments kind of hurt me a little bit, so I wonder if maybe HE'S trying to give ME space too, or what. (I deleted him from my phone temporarily so I wouldn't be tempted to talk to him before he was ready. I'm really, really trying to think of his feelings in this more than my own.) She did some digging around for me without my asking like, "Why'd you find it so creepy? do you think Mady is nasty or something?" (they're pretty good friends, so it's reasonable that she'd be able to dig like that.)
and he said, "No". Well, that's a LITTLE encouraging. He had no clue I was there, so why lie? I went over to her place yesterday for a few hours and while there she texted him and she said whenever the conversation turned to me, he got real quiet.
That, on top of it being "kinda weird" doesn't really calm my fears about our friendship recovering.
What should I do? Just......... wait it out? and, if he doesn't get back in touch with me all summer, maybe give him a smile and a wave at school this coming fall, and if everything seems ok strike up a convo like nothing happened?
what can I do to not think about this so often, too?
That being said, in the future you should try to respect people's relationships. I realize that you have feelings for this guy, but imagine how you would feel if you were his girlfriend and you found out that another girl came up to him and told him that she liked him. It's better to learn this lesson now than in a few years when it might get you into trouble. [ thequotablepatella's advice column | Ask thequotablepatella A Question ]
kristamikele answered Wednesday June 10 2009, 10:43 pm: I would call him (talk, not text) and say, "It wasn't fair of me to put you in such a bad position. I know you have a girlfriend, and it's not fair for me to lay something like that on you. I know I wouldn't want someone talking like that to my boyfriend. I am attracted to you, but not enough to steal you from someone else." You will throw him way off course. He will be like, "wow, this chick has class." It will make him really respect you because he will know you're the kind of girl who expects her man to be HER man, despite your sudden lapse in judgement. He will get to thinking about you. When you talk to him, stick by your word. Don't mention a thing about liking him, or say negative things about his girlfriend. Just be his friend for now. [ kristamikele's advice column | Ask kristamikele A Question ]
Sima answered Wednesday June 10 2009, 10:27 pm: I think that what you have done is more than enough, in terms of your efforts. For now, you should just forget about him. It was a good idea for you to delete his number, because I know that the temptation is there for you. Just wait it out, like you said. Wait for him to text you first. Even if the friendship is lost, it's really okay. There are tons of other guys out there. Talking like nothing happened when school starts again is a good idea too, so it doesn't seem as if you're still hung up about it.
It will all be okay, trust me. He's still young (probably only 14/15, right?). He doesn't know what he wants himself. [ Sima's advice column | Ask Sima A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.