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dad
alright. i think that i was sexually abused by my dad. ive heard that when youre younger you can block out bad memories without knowin that you did.
i remember certain things, like him stickin his tongue in my mouth when i kissed him. and i didnt think it was bad so when i kissed my mom i did that and she was like 'dont ever do that!'
and he told my mom 'wow her boobs are gettin big!'
and he'd also come in to the bathroom while i was takin a bath until i was 8 or 9
ever since i was maybe 4 or 5 my vagina lips have been pretty stretched out, and i have no idea why.
so my parents got divorced for their own reasons, and i was always scared to be with older men even with friends (like my youth group leaders from church or other friends dads) and i could never find a reason why.
plus, when i saw my dad for the first time in a year recently he was like 'wow youre hot, but im just an old man to you.'
i finally got in touch with my half sister from his side that i havent talked to in years. and i asked her what he was like with her, and since her mom and my dad got divorced she doesnt remember livin with him but she said, 'i visited him sometimes, but i think that that story should be left between him and i...'
and she hasnt messaged me back yet. and now shes a lesbian.
does it sound like i was sexually abused as a child? because for some reason i really feel like i have been
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If you can remember this with such vivid detail than there really is no question what you believe occurred had. This is also bolstered by the fact that your half-sister has a similar story she's not telling and now ducks you. There has to be something wrong mentally with anyone who refers to his daughter as "hot" or sickening "wow her boobs are getting big."
He's got a serious problem and is dangerous to any young female he comes in contact with. Obviously he's done it to other kids and your half-sister probably was one of them.
What to do next? Tell your mother and other family members what you know to be true. If anything people will start watching him and not let their kids alone with him. I don't know what the law stipulates about limitations but you should see about charges--i know I would.
I think the best thing to do is get professional counseling from a psychologist and not one of these flaky therapists who are often sicker than their clients and work through what happened and learn to cope and move on.
I would definitely confront this sick S.O.B. (father or not he is) with a few others present at the time. You might be amazed at how many victims come forward in your family. He's done this to others and may still be doing it to someone. Make a racket.
Definitely get counseling, lean on friends and the support of your mother and others. I have a feeling she may know things about all of this or suspected it. Find out why she left this creep.
You can't keep any of this inside you as a secret etc. as it will eat away at you and cause you harm physically and mentally to do so. Tell your teachers, guidance counselors etc. if turning to others is difficult.
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Woah, yeah. All this stuff COULD be understandable in someone else's point of view...but in mine, that's not right. My father would have NEVER told me that I'm hot. And he would've never commented on the size of my boobs, and seriously...what kind of man would stick his tongue in his child's mouth? Definitely not a respectable man. I think he's a child molester. Tell your mom, please. BUT, when you tell her, be HONEST. You don't want your dad getting in trouble for something that isn't true. Even if you can't remember the details, don't exaggerate it.
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Yeah. I believe you were sexually abused.
Dads kissing their daughter with tongue is not okay. Dads coming into the bathroom while they're kids are bathing is not okay (unless they're a baby and cannot bathe themselves). Your dad commenting on the size of your chest is not okay. And your dad calling you hot - that's not okay either. That's disgusting & wrong on so many levels.
As for your vagina, it could be normal because every vagina is different in looks and size, but you never know. I really think you need to talk to your mother about this. :( Try and see if she can get you a counselor or something, because this is obviously wearing down on you, and you need help so that you can become okay again. Nothing is wrong with you personally, don't take it the wrong way. It's just that your mentality of men is thrown off because of what a pig your father is. See a counselor sweetheart.
So yes, I do believe you were sexually abused by your father. I'm really sorry this happened to you, and I hope that you get the help that you need. Good luck.
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I think the boobs comment is pretty normal. Every father freaks out a little about his daughter getting boobs.
I don't think your vagina lips are "stretched out," because of sex. They come in all shapes and sizes, and I don't want you to be under the impression there is anything wrong with your vagina. Believe me when I tell you that vaginas can stretch big enough to put a football through and go back into shape.
I don't know what kind of health insurance you have, but if you could see a counselor and dig a little deeper, you may come up with an answer. I do not want to say you have not been molested, but I know it is common for young girls who don't have a close relationship with their father to ask themselves the very same question you are.
As for the toungue kissing thing, that is probably some innocent daddy/daughter thing that he thought was cute. I remember I used to like to give a sucky kiss to my babies earlobes.
Talking to a counselor might really be good for you to help you get over some of the anger you have towards your dad. It sounds like he wasn't really there for you, so you have every right to be angry, but there is also probably a lot of pain inside you, too, and that should be his burden to bear, not yours.
I wouldn't discuss my suspicions with anyone but the counselor. You don't want to seriously freak your mother out unless you know for sure.
I think your sister is feeling the same way as you, angry for his absence, and rather than say to you, "dad is an asshole, he wasn't there for me," she chose to say what she did. Her feelings are betweeen him and her, and if she thought there was a possibility that he molested you because he molested her, she would have tried to reach out to you and let you know you weren't alone.
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I really think that you were.
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