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Some people i feel so sorry for, but i know that i can not spill my guts.. i try adn try but i still don't know. i have lately been getting some really weird ones that i am so scared to answer but i want to help. please help me figure out a way to put mean stuff nicely.
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read my column. I dunno if I can describe it properly. Its generally easy for me though, and I'm sure if you care enough about it, you'll pick it up quick. the trick really, is to use proper english and remain totally calm in tone. try to eliminate as much vulgarity as you can, it gives your emotions away, and do check your grammar and spelling, it helps if you sound as close to an english professor as possible. pick up a thesaurus, and try to make your sentences have a pattern that flows. complex words help, for example: instead of calling somebody a bitch, use words like Harpy(stupid flying mouthy bitch) or shrew (small venomous bitch). add spices, flavor to taste.
works for me.
-gunner
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Sometimes, I'm not the right person to answer a question.
For example: I don't answer suicide questions anymore. I rarely did before and I probably won’t in the future. Although I see them and I wish I could be helpful, I know I can't. Because I will tell them to stop being such selfish turds and get over their infantile little selves and get some help with their mucked up brain chemistry... and that just isn't very helpful. But because I’ve battled those emotions myself, I get very angry and unsympathetic with people who I see as ‘feeding into’ irrational fears and miseries. My approach is, if you aren’t fighting it, screw off.
I believe that if I CAN'T think of an appropriate (not always nice, but appropriate) way to answer a question, then I'm the wrong person to answer it.
And that's okay!
In fact, that is one of the great things about Advicenators. There are other people here who can. Read other columnists and recognize their strengths so you can recommend people to ask them if you get a question in your inbox you don't feel you can properly answer.
Honestly, for every three questions I answer here, I probably typed up a forth answer, and then decided not to post it, because I wasn’t confident enough in it to offer it as advice.
We aren’t all going to be experts on all things and you aren’t always going to feel confident about answering every question that comes your way. Lean on your neighbour. Connect them with resources and other people who can help, even if it’s just a website or forum you think is especially good. Sometimes, go ask so-and-so (a doctor, a counsellor, your mom, a help line) is the BEST answer we got, and if that is the best we’ve got, then is still great advice.
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Yes, what Sima said. If you're wanting to answer but don't know how to word things without sounding mean, you just have to do it. Sometimes things need to be said bluntly. That doesn't mean you have to be especially rude or call anyone stupid. But you can say what needs to be said. Leave your personal opinion out of it. Don't say, "What the heck? You're so stupid. It's obvious that you need to break up with the guy." Say, "If I were you, I would probably leave him because (insert reasons here).
And as the person below me said, if you're getting 'weird' inbox questions or ones that you simply aren't able to answer, reject them. They'll just have to ask someone else or ask it in the open questions where everyone can answer.
Darby(:
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Are you talking about questions that are in your inbox? If you don't feel like answering the question, there's always the option to reject it. If it's out of your comfort zone, then there's no obligation for you to answer it.
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