Member Since: January 6, 2005
Answers: 90
Last Update: January 30, 2005
Visitors: 4717
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There's this guy that I have a little crush on. He's nice and all and fairly good looking but the problem is he's about an inch and a half shorter than me. I stand quite a good chance with him but I keep worrying about the height thing because I used to go out with someone shorter than me and it was annoying. Should I just forget the height issue and go out with him or leave it? It's not even a major crush, just a small one and I could get over it if I wanted to. (link)
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OH yes, you are young. The boy will grow, of that I am certain. I know of one couple that are married: he is 5'3", she is 5'11"; he is proud of her height and has no problem with his. My niece and future nephew are about the same height and have no problems.
If you really like this guy, then DATE HIM. Height should not decide whether you like him. If it is the determining factor, then you really need to do sme serious growing up.
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A few months ago, I started masturbating. Last month I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Now, I looked somewhat inflammed "down there" and it doesnt look the same. Is something wrong with me? And if so whats a quick fix? Is it okay for my boyfriend to still give me oral? Pleasee help me!
Kasey, 20 female (link)
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See a gynecologist, just to be sure. It probably isn't much, but could be a bacterial infection or a yeast infection, which often happens when first having sex.
Also, how clean were you when masturbating? As simple as it may sound, it is a bit necessary. Personally, I wouldn't allow oral until you check with your doctor. Yeast infections are messy and ugly (tasting) until they are cleared up. They don't always hurt, but can itch. Hope I helped.
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No matter what I do everyday when I come home from school I am always unhappy. Im happy in school I laugh and everything but for some reason when I come home everyday the same house seems depressing. I dont really like my family and since im young as my mom says I dont get to go out as much as Id like. What do you think is wrong with me and what should I do?
P.s. I've talked to my guidance conselor and shes awsome but her talks arent making me happier nor are they helping me.
:( PLEASE HELP
Jacki (link)
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You know, it never ceases to amaze me just how insensitive some people can be to some other people! Honey, I used to be in your shoes -- heck, I'm still in those shoes, but I've learned to step beyond the hurt, the unhappiness and depression. It's partially a phase, partially just growing up and partially lack of communication.
It might help to bridge the gap between you and your mom by talking with her when you come home from school. I'm assuming she works. Well, do you cook? Fix her something nice for dinner. Do you clean? Clean the kitchen or the livingroom or part of the house WITHOUT HER ASKING YOU TO. On a weekend, ask her if she'd like to go to the mall with you. Try to re-create some communication lines with her, a relationship with her. Mothers are not the "big bad wolves" - chances are they're hurting for you but are not quite sure how to help you and possibly don't want to try something because you will say no or gag or something. So take your own chances. If you're worried about what your friends may say, believe me, they'll actually respect you (they may never say it) for spending time with your mom. And you might start being happier.
If that doesn't work, see someone other than your guidance counsellor - they're often more for school stuff and not personal (although some blur the line). Hope I helped -- let me know if you need to talk.
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My twin sister and I argue about 40% of the day. I don't like fighting with her, and lately I've been getting so mad at her I get destructive. I used to cut myself- (embarrassing, but true)- and I can't help but think that may be problem- destruction makes me feel better. I'm not sure. Can anyone give me ideas on how to channel my anger differently? (link)
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Write in a journal, take a walk, scream into a pillow. All of those ideas from other advisers are excellent. Two others: call the crisis hotline and see a counsellor and/or professional. Cutting yourself is a sign of something much deeper, much more painful. Destruction makes you feel better? You really need to see someone fast, talk with someone fast. Are you on a good communication level with one of your parents? If so, talk with them and tell them you have got to see a counsellor? Can you talk with a teacher? Same thing. Can you talk with a school counsellor? To It!
All I'm saying, honey, is that you really need to confront your fears and troubles and start making sense of them before your cutting of yourself develops into something more destructive and terrifying. Journaling will help during the process and taking a walk is always a good breather, but talking with a professional is the best. Hope I helped and keep in touch if you need to.
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13/m
ok so i am supposed to go to a sleepover next weekend, only there will be some guys there that my parents really don't like, and so they won't let me go. thing is, there is really nothing bad about them but they won't listen, and still refuse to let me go. what should i do? because i really want to go, and i'm afraid they won't be friends with me anymore if i tell them. (link)
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You've got advice from two people who are telling you to be sneaky. Do you really want to lose your parents' trust in you? Believe me, that is the worst thing to have!
Ask your parents why they don't like them. Get into a conversation with them, but don't be defensive or childish about it. Be adult about it, be truly curious about their reasons. Listen to them. Chances are they are not unreasonable, they have heard or seen things that you may not know. Be objective about your reaction.
If you're possibly going to lose their friendship because you can't go to a sleepover, then they are not worthy of your friendship.
Friends come and go, parents last forever. Face it, you will always have your parents to go back to, so don't mess up your relationship with them by being sneaky or pulling any acts. Hope I helped, even though it's probably not the answer you wanted.
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I need advice about what color eye shadows would accent my hazel eyes the best. I have medium brown hair and medium toned skin if that helps. I would really appreciate it, i rate high. (link)
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Neutrals are always nice for any eye color, but if you like to take chances, some greens are nice. Stay away from kelly's (yuk) and opt more for the olives and khaki's. These will give your hazel a warmer and almost greenish cast to them. Be careful about the dark liner around the eyes. Unless you have dark lashes, they can make you look almost sick, but then, some people like that look.
Blues are deadly on hazel eyes, but here's a thought. The heathery-lavendery (grayed/browned/ purples) are a nice change.
I have what they call feline eyes. That means my eyes are four-colored: they start at the pupil with an almost orange striated to yellow to green to a blue-gray rim. Talk about what colors to wear! Hope I was some help
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I have an issue; I want to lose some weight, but my stomach grumbles like crazy!!!!! It's so annoying, I mean, I have a strong willl to lose the weight, but its so embarresing, I sit in math class and suddenly I hear my stomach, is there anything I can take or do to make my stomach not so vocal? Please and thank yous! (link)
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You should be eating three meals a day, at the very minimum. As a matter of fact, many preach --and correctly -- that six "mini meals" are the best way to lose weight. Think of it as three meals and three snacks. Your most important meal of the day is breakfast (breaking your fast after sleeping all night).
Another thing to remember is to drink 6-8 glasses of ICE water a day. Some people say warm water, but I've found cold is better because it revs up your metabolism (makes your blood beat faster to make you warm up). If you're not used to drinking all that water, try Crystal Light: 3 glasses of water, 3 of CL, then 4 of water, 2 of CL, you get the idea.
Third, if your stomach is growling, grab a carrot or some celery or a slice of apple or a piece of gum or a mint -- anything that will curb it until lunch! The fact is, if you ignore it, it will only prompt your body to start into starvation mode, i.e., grabbing everything that you put into your body and storing it in case you start to get hungry. The result? No weight loss?
Fourth, exercise. The easiest is to walk. Work your way up to 3 miles in 45 minutes 5 days a week AND DON'T DO THIS IMMEDIATELY unless you've been a regular exerciser anyway.
Hope this helps. Feel free to contact me for more pointers.
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My mom and I spent the whole day together. That's not the point. We went somewhere to visit family and when we came home, I went in my room to get away, to relax. So she goes in the living room and sits down on her fat ass.. and conviniently starts ordering me to do things. I was sitting her, we had gotten home like 15 minutes prior to this. I told her I would do it in a bit but she proceeded to yell at me to do it. So the very last time she yelled at me, these were her words: "If you're not fucking out here in 5 damn minutes, I'm kicking your ass off the computer." So in return, I told her to shut up. Not even yelling, it was to myself, and she overhead. So she came to take my danm cellphone, the phone I bought with my money, and pay for with my money, and for some reason she believes she has owenership over because its in her name. BULLSHIT. I'm so pissed I'm hitting shit now.. I want to hit her. Please help. (link)
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You're gonna hate what I have to say, but she is your mother. You only have one mother and you should respect her at all times, even when you think she isn't respecting you. Face it, honey, you started the disrespecting routine by saying you'd "do it in a bit" (now, did you really say it that way?) and, even if you bought the bloody cellphone, it is in her name, you are a minor, you are living under her roof, you live according to her rules, so straighten up. (And personally, I think you're probably leaving out some of what happened and what was said by you, but that's my own opinion.)
Now, to make things a little easier. Hitting her is NOT the solutiong. Calm down a little, cool down a bit. Then go out and -- are you ready for this? -- APOLOGIZE TO HER. Try to talk with her for awhile ON AN ADULT LEVEL. You can do it!
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okay i have a guy friend...hes nice and sweet but not liked very much at school...tonight he threatened to kill himself. im really scared b/c im not around him much at school and never after school...i care about him alot but sometimes dont show it very well. Should i bring our IM conversation to the councelor tomorow or something else...talking to him doesnt help...he doesnt listen.
please help...i rate hight
-x0x- (link)
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I don't think you should wait until tomorrow. If there is any way you can contact someone tonight then, by all means, do so. It could be a simple cry for attention but I never fool around with threats of suicide. Kudos that you care, but you should show that you care more. It is so tough to be a teen these days. When kids don't like you or they don't show they don't like you, you can feel so hopeless! If you really care for him, you've got to be more outward about it. I think you're at the point that talking to him yourself is not enough, so you're going to have to talk with his parents or a suicide hotline or a minister or someone fast.
Good for you -- take a stand for him -- do it now. Keep in touch shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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This is gunna be really long, im sorry. but thanks in advance to anyone that helps! ok, so last night i was hanging out with my boyfriend of almost a month, and we were drinking but neither of us were even feeling a buzz. well one of his friends touched my stomach, and my boyfriend is extremely protective of me and got really pissed. he was trying to calm down and was shaking, he kept telling me he was gunna kill him, so i told him not to worry about it that his friend has no chance with me and i said 'your all i need'. right after i said this he got the sweetest lok on his face and said the 3 words i would of never thought would come from his mouth- "I love you". this caught me by complete surprise, i didn't say anything back, i just kissed him, well throughout the coarse of the night he told me he loved me 8 times. each time i said nothing. We've only been going out for almost a month (will be a month this friday) but have been really close and flirtly for 3 months. i finally gave in and said i love you too one of the times he said it. I do care for him soo much, just for me its so hard to believe in the word and meaning of 'love'. But yet i said it to him, and i think that was a mistake on my part. but i couldn't just not say something. But i want to talk to him about it and tell him i dont want him to say those words until he is sure of what hes saying and when he means it. but how am i supposed to talk to him about it? (link)
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OK, this is gonna take awhile. Your boyfriend is manipulating you. His saying he loves you after one month of dating should tell you that, his saying it 8 times in one evening should ring the bells in your head. The fact that you feel unsure even though you said it tells me you have your head on straight, even you it may have been a bit sideways -- and don't tell me you weren't buzzed -- trust me, you both were. Protective? My God in Heaven! Try "this is the first step toward abusive relationship." He is sliding down a serious path of problems if he doesn't get help soon. Don't try to change or tell him because he will deny it vehemently, believe me. Much as you care for him, I think you need to care for yourself first. Walk, don't run, to the nearest counsellor (or better yet, DOOR or CHURCH) away from him until he straightens out or leave him alone for an indefinite length of time. It may not be someone else next time. Am I making sense? And I have no doubt this is not what you wanted to hear, but I'm also sure that, deep in your heart, you kinda know this. Hope I helped in some way.
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K so there's this guy.. let's call him Jack. Jack's pretty cute. Not really hot.. but cute. He's also on the swim team, and I guess you'd call him a 'hugger' I don't know him that well but whenever i see him he hugs me.. so basically how can you tell if a hugger likes you? He hugs like everyone! O but just the girls.. haha thanks! (link)
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Jack sounds like a warm, friendly guy. I'll bet he doesn't hug literally EVERY girl. So, enjoy the hugs. I'd call them warm fuzzies. If you want to know if he likes you as a girl and not just a hug, talk to him sometime outside of his hugging crowd time. Start up a general conversation and see how it goes. That will tell you more in a few short minutes than any amount of observation. Hope I helped.
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Hey, I'm just curious as to what you guys think about this. I was at callbacks today for an audition, and I ended up singing Marian with all the Harold Hills (we're doing Music Man) and I was fine, but all of a sudden, singing with this one guy (who is, by the way, an AMAZING actor) I started getting all shaky. Like, I didn't feel nervous, but I was shaking. Just for the record, I do have a boyfriend, so I wasn't nervous about singing with a cute guy or whatever. I also never get stage fright. I'm sure what happened is normal...lol. I just want to know why you guys think that happened then instead of at the beginning of singing with them. (link)
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How many Harold Hills did you sing with before this one that gave you "the shaky voice"? And why do you not get stage fright? I have been acting and singing professionally (operatically and musical theatrically) for (I'm not going to say how many) years and I still get nervous. Perhaps it's because he may be the right Harold Hill for your Marian, and he might have been a good challenge for you to stay in top form, both acting and musically. I only hope your director sees it that way. I certainly would (I am also a high school drama teacher, former college drama/musical theatre instructor). Break a leg/bocca lupo (that's opera talk) to you.
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I think it would be considered as molestation but..what are like some signs of maybe molestation?? My dad seems to be touching me just like a little more then he ever has..I mean not in my "places" but he will just rub my shoulders or something?? The other day he also told me I have very pretty green eyes(their like a mix but blue and green but anyways..) and I was like umm thanx?? (thinking uhh wtf?) So what im asking is do you know of any signs or anything that this is the beginning of umm "molesting??" Also is this the right "catergory" for this?? I'm just a little confused sorry. (link)
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I don't think there is a need to worry at this point. Complimenting you on your pretty green eyes is not a sign of molestation, nor is rubbing your shoulders. If his hands meandered toward your front down to your breasts, THEN it would be molestation. If he started saying more obvious sexual statements, then it would sexual abusive molestation and might bear looking into for more serious problems. But for the present, I think your dad is just being affectionate. Hope I helped.
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my friend janet told me that she cant stand living with her mom any more and that she wants to leave her house as soon as possible..cuz her mom doesnt believe any of the things she tells her(its a long story)...does anybody know any numbers she can call that are related to this sort of situation? thanx a lot! (link)
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The Runaway Hotline or the National Runaway Hotline, as mentioned in one advice column are excellent ideas. But I'd try talking with a counsellor first. Since you mentioned that this lack of trust was based on "a long story," I'm assuming it was from a lot of things your friend did (i.e., lying or stealing or things like that). This would make sense that her mom would have trouble trusting her, and this would be an ideal starting place for counselling, both for your friend AND her mom. It would be a good idea to start with the friend, but communication needs to work between the two of them sooner or later.
If the situation is too difficult for Janice to tolerate, is there a friend she might be able to stay with for a short amount of time, assuming of course that her mother knows about it and approves? Running away is only a temporary solution to a permanent problem because the problem remains when you come back. I do not advise your getting between Janice and mom, but big Kudos to you for being loving and concerned for both of them. Hope I helped and keep in touch.-----shelbyjune
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ok so my best friend amanda is making sooo many wrong choices, she just barely turned 15 and shes been doing weed and drinking and having sex, ive been telling her to stop doin that stuff but she just doesnt listen, she knows its wrong but she is striving for the attention, can you guys please help im soo desperate for help right know i dont know what to do, i rate high!! thanx (link)
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It's amazing how shallow "advisors" can be! Kudos to you for being worried about your friend. There is a place called Teen Help or World Wide Association Specialty Programs. It is especially for teens who are making what they call "nonworking choices" in their lives, mostly drugs, alcohol and sex. Talk with school counselors or her parents about this -- you can get on Internet for more information about it or you can contact me at shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com. It sounds as though your friend is screaming/crying for help and, in the long run, she will be thrilled that she has such a friend as you. This is a program specifically for teens like your friend and, while it is not cheap, it is life-saving. Please keep in touch. I as a parent and a number of my friends have been through this.
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what should i do if a guy i like knows i like him should i ask him if hes going to the dance? or would it be too weird b/c i like him and he thinks im asking him... sorry if its confusing! lol (link)
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Not confusing, I just had to read it slowly a couple of times before I understood it. Punctuation might have helped. (Sorry, my teacher showed.)
Anyway, if you know this guy even as a friend or have even talked with him, there is nothing wrong with asking him if he's going to the dance. If he is, then say something like, "Great! Then I'll see you there!" or something inane like that. Or you can leave it more open like, "How are you getting there? I'm not sure how I'm going to make and I really want to go." OK so it's a little white lie. But you never can tell. Good luck.
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like a week ago my boyfriend and i were messing around and i gave him a hand job (he put a condom on) and while i was giving him a hand job he was holding his penis and then when i was done he fingered me and my period hasnt started yet but ive been having cramps lately and i usually get cramps but could i be pregnant? (link)
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You are more than likely NOT pregnant, although I should inform you that you can get pregnant even though his penis does not penetrate your vagina (whoever tells you it has to is LYING). For the first 3-5 years, periods are irregular and cramps usually happen before your monthly. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless you go more than 3 more weeks without a period, then consider consulting a doctor. But I wouldn't worry about it.
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I've noticed my mom acting very quiet and different today. I think that shes feeling depressed. This isnt accually a thought, its obvious. I saw that she got books from the library about depression.
Anyways, Im feeling quilty myself because I feel that being the 'teenager' I havent put enough effort towards the house. I dont think thats its menopause because she's only 40. but I dontknow. Also my brother is having a baby, its not that hes too young. But maybe that its scaring her that shes going to become a grandma?
Should I be feeling Guilty? It just scares me because I dont want my mom to be depressed.. (link)
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Menopause can start as early as 35 (yikes), but chances are she's feeling depressed about becoming a grandma plus wintertime can tend to make people depressed. She could also be feeling her age. You'd be surprised how depressed women get when they turn 40 -- or 50 --or 60 --
Believe it or not, you can help her so much by just being "a friend." Talk to her. Help with housekeeping. Suggest you go shopping or to the beauty parlor, get your nails done together, waxing, stuff like that -- you know, "girl stuff." She probably just wants to have a little fun.
If you feel that isn't helping much, you might tell her you're worried about her and ask her if she wants to talk -- to you or a minister or a counsellor. She will probably appreciate your concern.
Believe me, honey, it's has nothing to do with your being a teenager, so STOP feeling guilty. Hope I helped.
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I'm 13 and I need some help with my friend "Kelly"* I've been best friends with her since 5th grade and now we're in middle school. She has always been a very competitive person but lately she has been plain nasty. She insults us and makes comments that really hurt. She has even said something insulting about my mother. She always likes to win and makes sure she is right in everything. She is pretty self-centered and thinks highly of herself. I've been her friend too long to totally drop her but both of my other best friends agree she has been acting really horribly lately. What should I do?
*Changed name for privacy. (link)
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Is there any way you can talk with her, ask her what's gotten into her without letting her know she's hurt you? I'm not sure, but she might not know she's hurting you with her insults, but then again, she might and she might love to know she's getting to you. I think the insult to your mother should not have been allowed to go without saying something.
There is the possibility that her homelife is the pits right now and she is lashing out at people who mean something to her to make herself feel better. I don't know. It's just a thought. Also, acting self-centered doesn't always mean she IS that; often it is covering up a real problem with self-esteem. Is there any way you can visit with her without your other friends, like go to the mall or McDonald's and talk or something? Keep in touch if you need anymore help. I'll try if I can
shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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does anyone now how to get a boy to like a girl (link)
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Why is flirting such a hot topic these days? Personally, I'd say "be yourself" first. Make it a point to talk with him if and whenever you can. If that makes a chance to flirt, then by all means, do so. Just don't be a fake. I'm assuming you are teen-age. Take it slow and be friends first, then look toward the dating later. Friends are always nicer that it makes dating more fun (and yes I'm staying away from the "sex" thing -- good grief girl!!! you're young! why go into that?!)
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