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July 16, 2010Answers:
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Hi! I'm Miss. M, and I am here to give help to anyone that may need advice. To the highest extent of my capabalities, I'll try my best to find a solution to your problems.In addition, I just want to thank the people that have rated me. Thanks for the support. :) And Thanks For The Feedback :)
Since I'm a bit new here um, I don't really know my way around this website very well, so i'm really sorry for not individually thanking you guys. This was the only way I found to thank you all. :/
Anyway, if you find my column interesting and relative to your question, feel free to ask. :)
advice
im so tired of being the girl people call the slut.
im not. im 14/f and have only been out with two guys.
i dont dress slutty nor do i act it, im quite hippy so often im maxy dresses. i dont swear and even a virgin, i dont get why people call me a slut.
i hang out with alot of guys but thats only cause the girls do the same thing every lunch.
what can i do to make people see im not who they think i am, i have a brain and am quite reserved.
can you please not say hanging out with the girls more, because i was bullied by them last year and dont really want to start it again. thanks
You don't have to do anything to prove yourself to anyone. If they don't like the fact that you hang out with alot of guys that's their problem not yours. Just live your life and don't pay attention to the negative comments. :)
He cuts me down and treats me like a little kid. Nothing I do is right. He play fights with me in front of his friends but is super rough almost like he enjoys hurting me. When he does that and yell me if I cry he'll just call me a baby.I'm not super annoying either, I try to help him in school so he wont fail and all he does is want to copy my work and he talks about other girls around me. He started doing this when we got in the tenth grade. Idk what to think?
He's very immature. He treats you like if you were his little brother or something. Go ahead and dump him. Don't think about it anymore.
It's been two months since my boyfriend and I broke up but I'm still hurting. He treated me like shit while we were dating, hurt me so many ways, and yet when I got to bed every night the only thing I can think about was the way he held me and kissed me and I miss being loved like that. He didn't love me for me, he admitted that, but we had such a physical connection that that's what has hurt so much to lose. He pressured me into going farther than I wanted to physically and it made me sooo attached to him that when he cut it off, it made it twenty times harder than it should have because I know I was too young to deal with those kind of physical connections. We dated for seven months, he was sixteen and I was fourteen, but I'm fifteen now. I just don't know what to do. I'm sick of missing someone who didn't care about me. I just want to be held by him again, but only by him and I don't know why... Please some one help, I hate this hurt.
Look, I'm so sorry for your situation, but you gotta remind yourself everyday that he did not deserve you. He only treated you badly and used you when he wanted. His kisses and hugs aren't worth a thing, if he didn't know what you are worth. You have to let that boy go. He's not worth it and he ain't better than any other boy in the world. In fact, he seems like a ______ (fill in the blank for cuss word). Sorry for my honesty, but that's just what I think.
Don't let his memory torment you any longer, and give yourself a chance to experience a good love.
:) Take Care
I have a friend who likes me and tries to hook up with me but he has a gf (which he never even told me about, I had to find out from my friend) He's always flirting and tryin to do stuff with me and I really like him but I don't wanna mess around with him cuz he has a gf. I confronted him about it and he got mad but got over it. He still does it flirts with me and it's starting to get annoying. I don't want him to get mad at me again but I feel bad cause he has a gf. what do u think I should do? (all my friends say to tell him to leave me alone but I still want to be friends with him cause he's fun to be around)
When you confronted him about it, he shouldn't have gotten upset because it's the truth. He has a girlfriend and you feel uncomfortable with his flirting. Tell him again until it's clear that you don't want anything with him because he's taken. And tell him not to get angry, because the only person that has the right to get angry here is you, besides he's the one causing uncomfortable situations for you with his flirtation. So stay firm with what you have to tell him, cuz he seems like a stubborn one. :)
My belly button has a scab inside it. I find myself picking at it and then when I do there is blood? I've had this once before but I guess it eventually went away. Anyhow it is very strange and I'm wondering if anyone else had dealt with this or knows what the cause could be.
Thank you.
It might just be a minor infection. This usually happens when you get a piercing on your belly button area. I don't know if you like piercings on your belly button :) but um, you should definately check that out. Research on belly button hernias and infections, and I recommend you to stop poking at it, at least not with your finger. If you feel tempted to poke at it, use a cotton swab and dip it in alcohol, the way you would normally treat a cut, scrape, or infected area. :)
I have liked my friend for almost a year now and I think I really love him. I want to let him know how I feel but I am afraid of jeopardizing our friendship. I don't know what to do. I am 17 and he is older than me, but we don't judge each other by age. I am a girl and I am 17. Thanks in advance for advice.
You can leave things as they are, but he'll never know you had strong feelings for him. I think you should take the chance of telling him. Life is full of chances and possibilities, so don't let this opportunity go or else you might miss out of something really nice and special.
Good Luck & Best Wishes :)
how do you know that a guy is the one for you. the one you're going to marry and spend the rest of your life with? how can you tell? and how young can you be to know?
I believe that when you are well aware of what is going on in your life, all of your feelings, your thoughts, and your decisions and reasoning are only products of your independent mind, that is when you are truly ready to make a very important decision like marriage.
As for the guy, marriage and being with him for the rest of your life is a menatality that he must share as well.
The love, trust, fidelity, and understanding are notions that must be established before going onto marriage.
18/male
Lately I've been thinking alot about just killing myself. Also i have always been a very emotionally detached perosn and Im not depressed or anything. furthermore, I have asked some very trusted people who assured me I dont act or sound depressed. Even so, I keep getting that feeling of just saying fuck it and killing myself. lately I have been partying alot more than I used to and my life probably has never been better, but I just keep feeling like i should just end it. any reason after 18 and half years of little or no emotion, i might be feeling like this now?
Several people that are closely connected to my life have had similar thoughts as yours. You may just feel that your future may not get any better. This is not true unless you do something about it. You have the power to change how you feel. Yes, it may take alot of effort and hard work, but after all, it's worth it. Think about the people that care about you. Think about the people that may be feeling just as you. What can you do, to pull some good out of the bad?
Also, just to keep your mind at ease, you should try focusing your thoughts and energies on a hobby of some sort. Something that you can do to freely express all that you're feeling inside. Try various activities until you find something that is right for you, something you can look foward to.
I hope my advice helps You in some way :)
Hello i have a question. I have started growing as of you know and I am about turn 13 i havent got my period yet alot of my friends say thats unnormal is that true??? And I dont like talking to my mom about it it makes me feel un comfertable so i need help thanks alot
No it's not abnormal. :) You might just be a late-bloomer. Every girl's body works differently. Some girls experience changes in their body early, while others experience them late. Try considering talking to your mom about these things cuz you might end up needing her help when it comes to buying pads or tampons. :)
lately all i feel i do is make mistakes im never happy.
i dont know who i am. ok that sounds werid but i always try to be someone else. im known to be the happy girl who people get on with, but its not me.
people think im dumb when i know im smart.
and im shy but im known as loud.
i dont know anymore, im not sure who i like cause i feel a pressure to like the RIGHT people.
and pick the RIGHT clothes.
if i change people will call me fake.
and when i am myself i feel fat, ugly and alone.
so do i try to be the person i am (upset, angery all the time)
or someone im not (happy and confident and hide my real thoughts?)
any advice will help
thankyou
Okay, I can tell you right now that we may have something in common. I have been in a situation similar to yours before. When I was a child I didn't really fit in. I had a different menatality from all the other little girls. I wanted to be a boy because I believed that boys had more freedom to do what they pleased and they wouldn't get judged for it. Another reason to this might have been, that I lived in a household where I had an abusive father and he seemed to overpower my mother. I believed, back then, that being a male would give me more power. I did not want to be in the same situation my mother was in. So the whole point of this is that, through out my whole childhood, I was somewhat brain-washed. I had no clue what I was, and people did not know the real me. Only few saw my potential.
So, all that I'm going to tell you, and hopefully this helps you, is to believe in yourself. Believe that you are worth more than what people may see. Do what you think, within yourself, is right. Everybody makes mistakes, and mistakes only leave more room for experience. Don't change so people can like you, only change if you know that you're doing it for yourself, regarding of what people think of you.
And if you have little faith in the advice I'm giving you, I have to tell you that I am living proof of the words I speak. I changed, but for myself. I have to be honest though, I still don't fit in, but not because I lack character but because I have become my own person with my own uniqueness. I have developed an independent mind and a TRUST FOR MYSELF, and that's how people have learned to appreciate me as a human being. :)
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF TO BE SOMEBODY THAT PEOPLE CAN MODEL AND RESPECT
DON'T CONFORM TO STANDARDS! :)
I'm 18, and I just graduated high school six months ago. This past weekend we had my graduation party. After the party I went to my aunts house to hang out with her and her husband, and my other aunt, and their friend. He's 32. I had a few drinks and they asked me to drive their friend home. Well he was drunk, and I was a little buzzed, but we left the house and decided to crash a party across the street. We had a drink there, but the party was pretty boring so we decided to go to a different party. Well he suggested we have a few drinks at his place so I wouldn't risk getting in trouble with the police. So he and I were sitting at his place drinking and one thing led to another and we had sex. I'm feeling so guilty because he's my aunt's friend. And because he didn't use protection. I just want to cry and I don't know what to do!
First of all, they shouldn't have let you drive a 32 year old drunk man back to his house, especially since you had also been drinking. I don't know how old or mature your aunts may be, but in this situation, there's a lack of responsibility on their part too. They aren't to blame for your actions or his though. What you should do is speak to your aunt or someone close to you for advice. Since he didn't use protection, you should consider getting a checkup.
(Tip: Take a breath, clear your mind, organize your thoughts and act)
basically
im shy, always have been
recently started hanging out with new people plus my best friend. before that it was literally always me and my best friend just hanging out, we didnt have anyone else to chill with. now theres more people. but they all think im socially retarded and never talk. and my best friend is whatever. but now she is getting invited places and im not. and it sucks. a lot. and since i would ALWAYS hang out with her pretty mucch wherever we went, it sucks even more, cause i dont have anything to do half the time. it makes me feel like shit because they all think im boring and dont talk.. i do talk though, maybe not a lot, and im not the craziest person ever, but i just feel like no one ever listens. and i wasnt supposed to find this out but this one kid told this girl that he forgot to say bye to me but "its not like she was there anyway" ... hate myself. it just sucks so much and idk what to do about this cause theyre all immature. like YES im quiet. its part of my personality idk why its such a big deal. im not mute. people suck. sorry for ranting. this isnt even a question but more of a whats your opinion/rate my friends on a scale of horrible to bffs. ughh
Listen up. One of my best friends is shy and timid and may not speak as much as well, but that doesn't mean she's boring. :) What I really like about her is that she's a very kind person and whenever she has something to say, it's something meaningful. If your friends don't appreciate you the way you are, maybe they're not your true friends after all. There's nothing wrong with you. Maybe you should just try considering a new group of friends. Move along with people that love you and see all the good in you. I'm not saying to hang out with other quiet people just because you're quiet. I honestly don't know how that would turn out, :) but I CAN tell you that I'm very crazy, my friend is very shy and whenever we hang out together it's just alot of laughs, alot of fun, and alot of loudness. Don't worry you'll break out of your timid state whenever you find that right group of people you're comfortable with, that make you happy, and that make you laugh all the time. 'Cause after all, what are friends for. :) Later, people that didn't appreciate you will realize what a great person they lost. :)
i read on the back on the aloe vera bottle that it moisturizes your skin. if i put it on my face, would it make me break out?
I was once told that if you mix natural aloe vera with a little bit of alcohol it can serve as a substitute for astringent but that's as much as I know. :/
I'm 18 and my bf is 19, we are planning on getting married, is it the right thing to do?
What's the rush? I think you guys are thinking of marriage too soon. Why don't you two just enjoy your time together instead of planning how big the house is going to be or how many children you're going to have together. All will come at it's rightful time. If you want to marry him because you fear of loosing him, that's no way of tying the knot. Allow yourself and him to feel comfortable with each other and ready for a long term comitment. Don't use marriage as a resource to keep him with you forever.
It seems like my husband has been putting me down a lot from the way I grocery shop, cook, put grocery's in the car, in the house. He makes fun of my feet because they are cracked, my hands because I bite my nails, and he is constantly joking about stuff that is not funny. I'm to the point where I'm embarrassed about when he opens his mouth if we r in public. I have withdrawn from him and even though we have sex there is absolutely no emotional connection. I love my husband but I'm scared that we are growing apart and he doesn't even see it. I have asked him directly to please keep his jokes to himself n that jokes are not on me and then he tell me I don't have a sense of humor. What do i do to get him to see that this is not healthy in our marriage. I'm no saint and I think that I'm really angry inside n I do want to not be around or talk or communicate at all anymore and that frankly scares me.
Nobody likes to be insulted, especially if you're receiving it from someone that supposedly loves you. You have to make him understand(even if you have to seem cold) that you don't like the way he treats you and you won't take it any longer. How does he expect you to love him, if he keeps treating you this way? Let him know that he won't get any love if he doesn't appreciate you.
Okay I really need your advice please!!!! And soon really soon and long or lots of answers!!! Alright. So what are some things thatguys want to hear from their girlfriends. Like compliments or things to call them. Things he likes to be called and things that he will think I'm cute for. Thanks alot!! :)
Well I suppose he already thinks you're cute because he's with you. As for the comments and flirty stuff, just be yourself. You want to make sure he knows the real you and that he loves you for being you. Don't fake any comments with him if you don't mean them. Just be there for him whenever he needs your support, love him when he's at his worst, and let him know that he holds a special place in your heart. :)
22/f
Okay, due to my past, my heart has literally turned black. I don't trust guys and it find it very hard to even maintain a conversation with them. Like they'll ask to meet with me (because honestly the guys that try to talk to me are from like Mocospace and chatlines or whatever and yes I know they are bad places or whatever), but then I shut down and never talk to them again.
I will not lie, I am a BBW (or in layman terms, "Obese") and on the account of my low-self esteem, I have been talken to and used for sex numerous times, to the point where I don't even want to have sex anymore. I get turned off by the idea of having sex with a man and kinda would rather want to do it with a female... that's how severe it has been.
Why is it that I shut down when it comes to guys now? I tell them the truth about myself as far as my looks are concerned but I still stop talking to them....
There is another guy that I have known for a year who adores me, and I admit that I have slept with him before and then I shut down on him to. After it happened I stopped talking to him. Then he found me again and is trying so hard for me to date him, but to be honest, I am not really attracted to him and he is a little cocky for me...
I don't know what to do. I am at a complete loss. What can I do? Where can I meet guys? I am in college but attend a large college so talking to guys is scary especially if your are new to campus.
I know have a lot of good qualities about me... but I think guys can't get past my exterior... so Idk... any advice will be greatly appreciated...
How can I stop shutting down on guys and where can I meet decent guys that will likely accept me for me?
First of all, you have to accept and love yourself just the way you are. It all starts from there and I believe this is the center of your problems. You have to embrace and love the good qualities that you have as a person and as a woman. You have to believe and know that you deserve better treatment than what you're getting. If you believe you're not good enough, you will be putting yourself at the mercy of any man. You will allow them to treat you as they please. As far as shutting down to men, it is clear that you distrust them but you also have to give yourself a chance. You have just given up on yourself and on men. The best thing would be to change that and you have the power too. You are aware that there's a man in your life that adores you. He love's you and sees the beautiful in you. You just have to learn to accept him with his flaws and give him a chance. Nobody is perfect, and life wouldn't be meaningful and gorgeous if it was perfect. :)
I honestly need help with girls, like i dont know what is wrong with me.
I am 16 years old/ Male.
junior in high school
for some odd reason, i havent had my way with girls in a LONG time. like i cant even remember the last time i had a girlfriend, or even just a fling with a girl. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I am NOT fat or ugly or anything. I would say i am just average. I'm 5'7, medium build, no acne, asian. I'm not hideous or anything, and i'm NOT creepy or anything either. i have friends and all, i live pretty chill life, but girls is my main weakness. They always act like i have something wrong about me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? EVERY time i try to even take a next step, they get scared and run away.
So i try to go slower, than they say i go too slow and run away. GAHHH what do i do? help me please.
You're worrying about the subject too much. Just let things flow. The pressure that you are setting upon yourself is pushing you to a state of desperation. If you keep up with this mentality, things may not go so well and you might end up giving in to whatever. In the long run this will not be good. You might manage to find a girl, but the relationship itself will prove that you were better off taking things slower at your own pace.