Hey everyone. :) I'm Lindsey, and I'm currently 17 years old. I mostly like to give advice involving sexual health and sexual education, partially because I find it interesting, and also because so many teens aren't as informed as they should be. Please keep in mind that I have no medical training and don't consider myself an authority on any of the subjects which I offer advice on. I do try to provide facts but talking to your doctor is ALWAYS a better alternative to asking someone online.
E-mail: kirkdip1234@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 18
MSN: kirkdip1234@hotmail.com
Member Since: April 17, 2008
Answers: 73
Last Update: April 2, 2013
Visitors: 4948
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My really good friend, lets call him 'SAM' was
talking to me on MSN 2day. We got talking about
nothing... like i should go back out with my ex, shit like that.
anyway, as a joke he sujested me, him & my
bestfriend -lets call him 'BILL'- had a 3sum, so i said "haha, yeah but i dont think he'd go 4 it"
And it went on from there.
Like he really wants this.
Whereas im not sure, i do want it. but, I'm sorta
scared that me & my bestmate wont be BESTmates
anymore...
Please dont say things like "if you dont want it
dont do it"...
because i do want it.
I'm just uncertain...
i need a few opinions.
(link)
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First of all, I want you to know that I've been in a similar situation on a few occasions. In each case I went forward with it and had the threesome, and all of my experiences with that were quite negative. Like the person before me mentioned, it can be really destructive to friendships. And for me, a level of intimacy is lost that is so crucial when it comes to having sex. Somehow it just feels impersonal, and I always walked away feeling a bit used and cheap.
But that aside, I know I can't talk you out of it if it's something you really wanna do. It's may be something you just have to find out for yourself, and who knows, your experience could be different then mine were.
I would say, if you're really considering going through with it, try having sex with both individuals seperately a few times. Build up the comfort level a bit before you throw yourself into the situation totally unprepared.
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Hi me and my bf have been sexually active for some years now and I love him very much, unfortunately My stamina in bed SUCKS. I get tired and my legs are shaking within the first 10 minutes and he ends up doing all the work. I would love to be more involved with our sex life but I find it hard to find positions or movements that don't tire me out so much. Anything you can suggest?!?!? (link)
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Well if you've been sexually active together for years, one would assume you've tried most positions. But I do have a suggestion: excercize! The best way to build stamina is to work the muscles used in a particle position. For example, for basic 'cowgirl' one might work on the thigh and ab muscles. Some simple exercises you can fit into your day for the thighs are: walking on an incline (so if there are some hills between you and work, a great way to improve the environment AND your sex life would be to walk or jog!), or, if you're willing to start visiting a gym/have the equipment at home, squats and leg extensions are ideal.
The easiest way to build your ab muscles is simply to do cruches whenever you have a free five minutes.
In my opinion, if 10 minutes of physical excercize is makung you shaky and exhausted, then it isn't just your sex life that's in danger! Physical fitness is crucial to a healthy lifestyle, and lack thereof can lead to all sorts of medical complications. You will find that every aspect of your life improves with your health, so it really is worth the effort.
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is it better to have sex with lights on or off? dont give me the "it depends, or either" just sayy wich is better. lights on, or lights off. (link)
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Despite your request, it REALLY DOES depend on what you're most comfortable with.
Personally I prefer to have the lights on, for me it's so much sexier to be able to see my partner and have him see me. But again, it comes down to what you'd like.
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whenever myself or my boyfriendstimulate my clitorus it feels really uncomfortable like 99.9% of the time
any ideas why this could be? (link)
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You didn't really elaborate on whether you have tried clitoral stimulation on your own, so I'm going to answer two different ways based on whether you have or have not:
If you haven't: The best way to find techniques that work for you is to experiment on your own. Once you know yourself, you can show your boyfriend a better way of doing it. There's nothing to wrong with experiencing your own body, nor is there anything wrong with giving him a little advice.
If you have: Simply show him the way you do it. I know from experience that some men apply far too much pressure to the clitoris. Teach him to be gentler. If your relationship is a healthy one, he won't be insulted or hurt. He'll just appreciate the chance to give you more pleasure.
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13/Female I have streach marks on my thighs and Boobs and I wanna get rid of them... anyone wanna help?
I'm a size 3/4 and my boobs r 36 D...like people make fun of me for it becuase I wear like tang tops and like I always wear jackets becuase like I'm so self consens or w/e (link)
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I used to have those as well, on my breasts especially. You can go to your local Drug Store and purchase creams which, if you apply them daily, will slowly lighten your stretch marks to the point where you can barely see them. Just browse for a bit, there are lots of products created specifically for women with your problem. Anything containing a lot of Vitamin E will be most useful.
Also, time fades stretch marks and eventually they will disapear. A lot of women get them as they are growing during their teen years, but they're often gone by the time you hit adulthood.
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how do you know if your having an orgasim?I just think if ur satisfied after words then you good. (link)
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Orgasms are different for everyone, but you will definately feel a few seconds of very intense pleasure, and your muscles will tense. But your attitude is a good- sex isn't just about the orgasm!
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Does it hurt when u get fingered with clothes on? (link)
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..I've never had that done, but I wouldn't suggest it. It wouldn't even be possible for him to insert his fingers if there is a thick fabric in the way. If the fabric is thinner it may be possible, but what's the point exactly? If you don't want to take your clothes off, a more pleasurable alternative would just be having him stroke the outside of your vagina through them, especially in the area of your clitoris. In this case as well thinner fabric would be better.
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if you suck someones dick? without a condom. like what COULD happen... i just need to know. would anything happen at all.. he said he has no STDs.. what if he does? please help me out.. i want to know what might happen before i do it. thank you
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Just because he CLAIMS he has no STD'S, that doesn't mean it's true. Until you've seen papers proving that he has been tested, and the test results were clean, do not proceed without a condom. It is possible that you will be infected with an STD.
Even WITH a condom it is still possible, because some STD's, such as herpes, are not just on the penis but on the surrounding area as well.
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My penis size is 5.5 inches when erected. if i dont have sex for three motnhs, then is it possible to increase my penis size?. my age is 37 years old. please advise.
thanks (link)
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..No, there is no proven and safe way to increase your penis size. Not having sexual intercourse will not effect it. I'm not sure where you got the idea, but rest assured, there is no evidence saying that it would do anything but leave you very sexually frustrated.
Some men try penis pumps, which do increase the width, but the effect doesn't last more than a few hours and can cause very negative side effects to your health such as the rupturing of blood vessels. This can very seriously damage your penis and I would not suggest trying it.
There are also products on the market such as pills you can order which are supposed to increase your size, but those have been proven over and over again to NOT work. These would prove to be a huge waste of money.
In short, just be happy with your body! 5.5 inches is a totally normal size, and that aside, any partner who is worth anything will not be focused on your size. If you feel inadequate, concentrate on being a caring and sensitive lover and trust me, how big it is will be the last thing on your partners mind.
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i hear people talking about getting/givving abe lincolns, getting brown and red hawks, golden showers...ect. i know theres alot more. what do all of these mean plus the ones that i didnt list? (link)
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Try urbandictionary.com, a website where people can submit definitions of slang terms. 'Abe Lincoln' and 'Golden Shower' are defined there, however Brown and Red Hawks are not. (I've never heard that term either, you may have your slang confused..)
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ive had sex before. but i didnt orgasm.
and when i masturbate, i can feel that im reaching climax bc i know what it feels like, but i never ever orgasm. ive tried different ways, but it seems like i just feel that i hit my peak, and then thats it...
how come i never moan or anything?
i really want to (link)
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Are you certain that you're not climaxing and just not recognizing the sensation? Not all women moan- in fact, it's far more common for them not to.
It's also not uncommon for women to be unable to orgasm during sex. And the younger you are, the more normal that is. The more familiar and comfortable you get with sex and with your own body, the easier it will be for you to orgasm.
But that aside, if you are definately not reaching orgasm when masturbating, that probably has a lot to do with you trying so hard. Relax! Masturbation isn't just about the finish, it's about exploring yourself and learning what feels good. Just so you know, 'fingering' (the act of inserting you fingers into the vagina and moving them up and down) is only a small part of pleasuring yourself. Learn how to stimulate your clitoris and you'll be well on your way. If you're not sure where that is, look on google images for a diagram of the female anatomy.
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i have these little bumps around my nipples. what are they & how can i get rid of them? (link)
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All women have those, especially when you're young and your breasts are still developing. I'm not sure what they're called, but they're totally normal. There's really no way to get rid of them, but don't worry. Boys won't notice them or be bothered by them- like I said, they're natural.
The only indication that there might be something wrong is if they are sore or seem to be infected, in which case you need to talk to your doctor.
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I'm 13 about to be 14 and I'm a girl. okay I', gonna get straight to hte point but it may be confusing...
One day me and my mom were in the car and she was like you know that you shouldn't be having sex and se is bad and blah blah. i waslike mom i know. because really i do know the outcomes of sex...its not a good thing and it can change your life! i know!!!! and then she was like after you have sex you get this wet stuff in your underwear and coming out. and i was like okay.... but the thing is i already have that stuff coming out! i know for sure that i have never had sex before! its something that I would never do until I'm married! and it scares me that i already have that stuff coming out. my friend was like you might have been rapped! and thats when i started crying my eyes out to NO limit! so the question is..... how do you know if you've been rapped...but you cant remember anything??...or is that a natural part of life??...thankz in advance for the help!! (link)
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It is very unlikely that you've been raped. Some people DO supress traumatic experiences and thus won't remember them, but that is very rare. The fact that you're having vaginal discharge is not indictive of anything being wrong- it's totally normal for a girl your age. If your friends aren't experiencing it yet that probably just means they aren't as physically developed as you are.
If you're genuinely worried, go talk to your doctor, who will be able to explain that what you're experiencing is a completely normal part of becoming a woman.
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im a 13 year old girl and i havent even started my period and i am having sex dreams and i masterbate at least 5-9 times a day and i think it would be fun to have kinky sex so i guess what im really asking is should i have sex? (link)
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No, you shouldn't have sex. Your body is not physically ready for sex until you go through puberty and start your period. You really aren't emotionally or intellectually mature enough to be having sex, especially if you have to ask.
I started having sex when I was 14 and let me tell you, I have lived to regret it since. Even though I'm still with the person I lost my virginity to, we both agree that at that point in our lives we weren't ready, and that we should have waited.
I am a firm believer in the fact that the longer you wait, the better it will be, and the more equipped you will be to deal with the emotional repercussions. Continue masturbating and experimenting on your own, that's perfectly natural. But don't become sexually active until you KNOW you're ready.
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ok i've read about how there are different times of the month when your vaginal discharge is different. right now mine is really thin and milky/creamy. i was wondering what this means? (i'm due for my period today if that means anything)
15/f (link)
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Unless your vaginal discharge is extremely unusually, there's really no reason to be concerned. There is a HUGE range of what's normal when it comes to vaginal discharge- from thick and yellow to like yours, milky and extremely fluid. It doesn't really 'mean' anything.
If you're ever seriously worried about what your body is doing, or you have questions regarding how it works and why it does things, the best person to ask is always your doctor.
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I am 15/f. I deffinitaly(sp?) know that I want to wait until marriage to have sex. But I have a couple of questions. First question: So you know how like, all girls bleed their first time? Well just say you had just gotten married and go to a hotel room? You just bleed on their sheets or what? What do you do about that? Second question: Well, I've heard a lot of girls say that it hurts the first time you do it. Well, it's not very romatic if you had just got married and you can't "do it" because it hurts, so then what do you do? I've just been wondring this because it just seems like it would be akward when it happens. Sorry if these are weird questions. Thank you bunches! (link)
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First of all, I'd like to say that I really admire your decision to wait until marriage to have sex. So many young women lose their virginity to the wrong person, or at the wrong time, and later to regret it. I know that I wish I had waited longer to become sexually active. Even if you change your mind as you get older, having that conviction to guide you right now can only be a good thing. The idea of waiting for the right person is highly under-rated and I admire a young person who has the courage to choose that, especially in a society that is so saturated with sex.
Anyways, on to your questions. It's actually not true that all girls bleed their first time. I didn't, and that was even with a previously unbroken hymen. The ones that do will normally only bleed a small amount, and some even bleed a few hours after the actual act.
Even if you do bleed on the bedsheets, don't worry about it. Hotels hire cleaning services for that purpose!
As for the question of hurting, I will say that my first time hurt A LOT. It took several different attempts on different days before my partner could even enter my fully. In fact, it continued to hurt every time I tried to have sex for nearly a month afterwards. I was examined by my doctor and found to be healthy, so I'm not sure what the reason for that was. However, that is not a common experience. Most girls only have to tolerate a small amount of pain.
I think a lot of the reason my first sexual experiences were so bad is because I was so nervous. There's no need to rush right to the sex, foreplay is your friend! The more aroused you are the more relaxed you become. If you're worried and scared, you will tend to clench your muscles unconsciously and it will be very difficult for him to enter without really hurting you. Furthermore, the more time you have to kiss and touch beforehand, the wetter you will get. The natural lubrication your body produces will help in to slide in more easily and decrease pain on your part. This also requires for you to feel relaxed and safe, so like I said before, the more you have leading up to the sex, the better it will be.
Lastly I'm gonna give you the little speech that I give every girl about losing her virginity. I really can not stress this part enough. USE LUBE. Sexual lubricant is not very expensive and it can be found at most grocery stores and drug stores. You don't have to go to some seedy sex shop to obtain it. If you are curious about what kinds of lube are best, a lot of people find water-based lube to be the safest and least likely to cause irritation. There are countless options when it comes to lube, and the only thing I would strongly reccomend avoiding is ones that contain glycerin or sugar, as this can cause yeast infections, bladder infections, and a series of other unpleasant afflictions.
Lube basically mimics the fluids your body will produce in smaller quantities, and you honestly can't use enough of it for your first time and beyond. The more you apply, the easier it will be for him to enter you. A lot of lube may decrease the sensation a bit for him, but that just means your first time will last longer and you will have more time to get used to the feeling and start to ENJOY it a bit! There's no reason that losing your virginity has to be a bad experience. Your body is made to experience and to enjoy sex, and with the right knowledge and tools you can help yourself to do that. :)
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I've been on & off with this kyle 4 bout 2 years & i kno that i love him with all my heart but now im not so sure that he feels the same way before everyone could just tell but now its like everything I do is wrong. I can't seem to keep his attention anymore. I've always wanted to spend the rest of my life with him now i'm afraid that isn't goin to happen anymore. Wat should I do? Should I talk to him or just stay away from that subject? (link)
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I have to agree with the previous poster. You're 14 years old, and two years is just a tiny fraction of that. Most people don't know that they want to spend the rest of their life with someone after just two years, and especially not if those years take place in their early teens. Boys are likely to come and go and placing that much emphasis on them is only setting yourself up for dissapointment.
Normally I believe that as soon as problems arise, you need to discuss it with your partner. But in your case, I want to warn you to not ask unless you're prepared to cope with any response he may give. After all, he may not say what you're hoping he will. You may find that he needs more space for a while - if that's the case, give it to him. If you freak out or act irrationally that's only going to drive him away further.
You may even find out that he's losing interest, the way teenagers tend to do. If that happens you really need to be the stronger person and not take it as a personal insult. These things happen. There will be many other opportunities for romance in later years.
Finally, you may find out that it's all misunderstanding, and that he really does want to be with you! Hope for the best but expect the worst. That way, if the result is good, you will be pleasantly suprised and the two of you can move forward together with a renewed and stronger relationship.
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I had a wasp nest above my back door a few weeks ago. So I knocked it down. Well guess what? They're rebuilding it. OMG! Wasp are pesky. How do I get rid of a Wasp nest that keeps coming back? (link)
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I've seen people use bear mace to get rid of wasps. I've never tried it myself, but it seems to drive them away pretty quickly, and the residue it leaves behind will prevent them from building in that area again.
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17m sorry its kinda long
my friends know I like this girl, and that im really shy. One of my friends was over at my house, and I was talking to her online. I had to go help my grandma do something, so I left the room, and while I was gone, my friend got online and told her that I liked her, because he thought I was too shy and probably wouldnt say anything. while I was sort of mad because he told her, I was kinda releieved that she knew. he had sent the messages under my screen name, so the windows were still up when I got back, I saw that she hadnt said anything so I decided to message her to see what she thought. heres the coversation, while brief, extremely confusing to me.
me:hey
away message:Packing!! :D (shes visiting the college shes going to)
her:hey!
me:whats up
her:nm just finishing up some packing what about you?
me:i have to talk to you about something....
her:yes?
me:well i hda xxxx tell yiu earlier and i dont know how to say it im really shy but i like you and i didnt know how 2 tell you
me:had**
me:u there
her:yup and.. i dont know what to say..
me:I dont know...
me:this is so awkward im gonna kill him
her:nah its ok!
her:dont worry about it!
me:?????????????/
her:feeling awkward!
me:yea
her:well i must go.. my airplane awaits me! ill talk to you later!
me:ok bye talk to you when you get bac
what does she mean by dont worry about it? I kinda wish the conversation didnt end so fast, but she had to go. im confused by her reaction, because I dont know how she feels about it. (link)
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I kind of agree with the last person. It's hard to draw conclusions from such a short conversation, but she seems pretty distant. I know that if someone I like admits to liking me, I'm really eager to discuss it. The fact that she didn't have a strong response probably means that she doesn't have any strong feelings.
She seems to be kind of dodging the subject to avoid hurting you.
BUT like I said, a message that short is pretty hard to read into, so we could both be wrong! When you get a chance, try to discuss it with her for real.
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me and my boyfriend have been dating 6 and a half months and i want to do something romantic for him for no reason . any ideas? (link)
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Well, a simple idea would be writing him a sweet note and slipping it into the pocket of a coat, hoody, or pants that you know he'll probably wear soon. (Not dirty ones, or it'll just end up in the wash!)
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